


Barry's

by baeksesoolove (silentlylo)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, BaekXing, ChanBaek - Freeform, ChanSoo - Freeform, Chinguline (EXO), Drug Use, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Overdosing, Sex, XiuChen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 07:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 58
Words: 123,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16760455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentlylo/pseuds/baeksesoolove
Summary: To make a long story short, Chanyeol had been working the bar on open mic night at Barry’s when the singer-songwriter of his dreams walked through the door...





	1. Pulled Pork Sliders

**Author's Note:**

> After I finished writing Two Moons, I decided I needed to write something a bit less intense. So I decided to write a hot mess of a fic inspired by all the crazy stories that have been told to me by my friends who have worked at restaurants. I hope everyone enjoys!
> 
> P.S. Always make sure to tip your servers!

To make a long story short, Chanyeol had been working the bar on open mic night at Barry’s when the singer-songwriter of his dreams walked through the door, took the tiny platform, poor excuse for a stage, cleared his throat behind the mic, introduced himself as Kyungsoo, and started strumming the familiar chords of Rihanna’s “Love the Way You Lie.”

Chanyeol had told the managers that it was dumb to do an open mic night at the sports bar. They already did karaoke night, trivia night, comedy night, and never mind that every night was sports night. At first he had been smug as a repetition of singer-songwriters showed up with their worn guitars singing various hipster rock lullabies in hopes that some music producer was dining there that night while catching a Lakers game.

But on this night he had eaten his words, gawking from behind the bar and thinking no one should look so sleek in black shirt and jeans while singing Rihanna with the most soulful and soothing voice that Chanyeol had ever heard.

“Hey, man,” some guy rudely interrupted him, and he had to look away to handle the customer. “It’s been 20 minutes and we still haven’t gotten our pulled pork sliders.” The guy thumbed over at a booth with three people who were luckily still staring at Kyungsoo instead of their friend who stood occupying Chanyeol’s precious Kyungsoo-watching time.

“I’ll check on that,” Chanyeol told him, and pretended to check on it on the menu screen, looking back at Kyungsoo who then hit a note so sweet Chanyeol was sure he had to have dreamed it up.

Chanyeol had been a music major in college, and while his best friend, Jongdae, had the best voice Chanyeol had ever heard in his life, this guy’s voice was the voice that Chanyeol wanted for every single song he had written and had yet to write. This guy had a tone that miracles were made out of, rich and deep at times, before softening and becoming airy but never losing the power behind it. Like who could even do that? This guy, apparently.

“Seulgi,” Chanyeol waved over the server on duty in the guy’s section just as Kyungsoo finished and thanked the crowd after they applauded him. “49’s still waiting on their pulled pork sliders.”

“Shit,” Seulgi said, taking off toward the stairs to go to the kitchen.

Open mic nights, along with trivia nights and karaoke nights, were held in the basement, and Chanyeol had been assigned the basement bar for the night, which he didn’t tend to mind since it meant not hearing the entire place roar when a team scored or not having to deal with belligerent customers when the wrong team won.

“You guys have Blue Moon on tap?” The open mic god had made his way to Chanyeol’s bar and had taken a seat on the barstool, having leaned his guitar case against the bar.

“We do,” Chanyeol said, “ID?”

Kyungsoo took his wallet out of the back pocket of his skinny jeans and showed Chanyeol his ID. Not only was he legal, but they were the same age, his last name was Do, and if he stared any longer it’d be obvious that he was trying to memorize his height, weight, and address, so he nodded at him, then whipped out a glass and filled it for him, serving it to him with his trademark smile.

“You were amazing by the way. Definitely the best open mic singer we’ve ever had.”

“I highly doubt that,” Kyungsoo said, and he had suddenly gotten bashful on Chanyeol, taking a sip of his drink.

“No, it’s true. I work the open mic shift often. Plus, I was a music major in college, so I know what I’m talking about.”

“You were a music major in college?” Kyungsoo asked, raising his thick eyebrows as if he didn’t believe him.

“UCLA. How about you?”

“Rutgers. Also a music major.”

“Oh, an East Coaster. What brings you out to LA?”

“Pursuing my music career,” Kyungsoo answered, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“How’s that going for you?”

“Are you guys hiring?”

Chanyeol laughed.

“No, I’m serious.”

Chanyeol laughed some more and glanced toward the door that led to the tiny manager’s office that had been built under the stairwell.

“Let me see if I can get a manager for you,” Chanyeol told him with a bright smile and a nod.

Chanyeol hadn’t been sure if either manager on that night would be in there since the main floor had been pretty packed last Chanyeol had checked.

“Ah, good, Minseok,” Chanyeol said, catching one of their managers on a break he guessed. “Are you hiding from the madness?”

“I’m trying to call in extra help,” he said. “What’s up?”

“There’s a guy at the bar down here that needs a job. Hire him.”

“He has to fill out an application first,” Minseok said, having reached for the folder that held the print outs.

“Right, but that’s just a formality. Like one of those tests where if you just write your name on the line, you pass.”

Minseok had handed him the application and looked at him with his cat eyes as if he only had one braincell.

“That’s not how it works?”

“Promise me you’ll hire him after he fills this out.”

“I’m taking it this guy is really good looking,” Minseok had said as he stood up.

“It’s not that. It’s his voice. He has the greatest voice of our generation.”

“That’s what you said about Jongdae.”

“Plus, he’s really good looking.”

Minseok had shoved Chanyeol out of the office and closed the door.

Kyungsoo did end up being hired.

As it turned out, he also had an incredible talent for cooking, and Chanyeol spent every day they had a shift together bothering him in the kitchen and asking him more about his music experience and insisting they should collab on some things.

“Here, eat this,” Kyungsoo had said one day, shutting up Chanyeol with a pulled pork slider.

“Oh my God,” Chanyeol had said after taking two bites to obliterate it. “You’ve actually made our pulled pork sliders good.”

“Yeah, they needed improvement,” Kyungsoo had agreed.

It only took a couple of weeks to start hanging out with Kyungsoo outside of work, and then at the studio that Chanyeol would rent out, and before they knew it, they were making wonderful music together, and more.

On one fateful day, Kyungsoo had added some runs at the end of a song Chanyeol had been playing with, and when Chanyeol had played it back for him, he couldn’t stop staring at the man that had introduced so much soul into it. So he leaned in and kissed him. Out of nowhere. And before he could apologize or explain, Kyungsoo was kissing him back, and then music was forgotten as they turned the studio into their own private bedroom for the night.

Their relationship built up in the most cinematic way, flirting at work, taking breaks together to grab coffee or sometimes make out in one or the other’s car, spending time at Chanyeol’s place since he lived alone, and watching Netflix before doing the exact opposite of chilling. In four months’ time, there had been bowling dates, and club dates, and bar dates, and walking on the beach dates, which is why Chanyeol knew that it was time to take the next step in their relationship.

As he lay in bed with Kyungsoo, both naked having just spent themselves after a rough and tumble playful night of sex, he smoothed the open mic vocal legend’s black hair back in soft caresses and stared at him, a stupid satiated smile on his face, and said, “I think you should be my boyfriend.”

“Chanyeol…”

“No, I’m serious. We’re so good together. We’ve been doing this for like four months. Let’s just make it official.”

Kyungsoo lost the smile that had been on his face and instead replaced it with a look Chanyeol knew too well. It was the stop playing around look, and Chanyeol steeled himself for what he knew would come next.

“I’m not going to be your boyfriend until you stop hooking up with your ex,” Kyungsoo stated.

Chanyeol sighed. He had been hoping that having a boyfriend would make it clear to his ex that he no longer would hook up with him, but unfortunately, Chanyeol wouldn’t get out of that mess so easy. It served him right since the mess was of his own creation.

“I’m not going to anymore,” Chanyeol said, but the weakness in his voice let Kyungsoo know better. “That’s why I’m asking you.”

“Work that out first,” Kyungsoo had said.

Chanyeol sighed and buried his face in his pillow, cursing his current predicament that made it so hard for him to move on from the guy that he had been the one to dump. But then the small silver lining of hope registered.

“Wait,” Chanyeol said, smiling at him again, “That sounds like you’re going to say yes once I do. You totally want to be my boyfriend.”

“Good night, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said, stealing half the covers to bundle himself up as he closed his eyes.

Chanyeol scooted himself closer to him, and wrapped his arm around him to hold him in place with a lazy grin on his face because, as far as he was concerned, Kyungsoo had practically said, “yes.”


	2. Pancakes

Kyungsoo walked into his apartment and headed straight to the shower, barely registering that he even had to take off his clothes before stepping under the water. Luckily the cold water shocked him awake as he let out a yelp and tried to turn the knobs quick to the hot side to even it out.

After he threw on sweats and a tee, he padded to the kitchen where he found his roommate, Jongin, with his head in the refrigerator as he looked for breakfast.

“I wasn’t expecting you home so early,” Jongin said, pulling out a plastic container and opening it to inspect its contents.

“That’s the salmon that you didn’t eat last week,” Kyungsoo pointed out. “Toss it. I’ll make us pancakes.”

“It was so good. Why didn’t I eat it?” Jongin lamented, closing the fridge and tossing the salmon before putting the container in the dishwasher.

Kyungsoo moved about the kitchen, turning on the griddle so it could settle to the right temperature of hot for the perfect pancakes.

“So why are you home so early?” Jongin asked again, watching him as he mixed the batter.

“Chanyeol had to meet his parents for brunch this morning,” Kyungsoo explained. “It’s good. I didn’t get too much sleep last night, so I’ll probably crash after breakfast and bum around until I have to get ready for my shift.”

“Same. Tao asked me if I could switch with him, so I’m working tonight too.”

“Good, we can carpool,” Kyungsoo stated.

About a month after Kyungsoo had started working at Barry’s, his childhood friend Jongin decided to take a break from college and hit him up for both a job and a place to stay. Kyungsoo had gotten him in as a server, which Jongin turned out to be great at. He wasn’t surprised. With his good looks and a charming smile, never mind the incredible physique carved by his many years of dancing, Jongin was popular among the Barry’s crowd and was always tipped very handsomely.

They sat together at their small dining table and ate their pancakes, and even though he shouldn’t have brought it up, Kyungsoo always told Jongin everything. So, he casually mentioned, “Chanyeol asked me to be his boyfriend.”

“Please tell me you said, ‘no’,” Jongin said, and then put his hand up and said, “Sorry. I didn’t say that. What did you say?”

“I told him not until he stops hooking up with his ex.”

“You should have just told him ‘no’,” Jongin said, with a tsk-tsk undertone to his words, “Now you’ve given him hope.”

“But I do want us to be together.”

Jongin looked up at him as he ate his pancake, and Kyungsoo knew that he was trying to figure out how to ask him if he was sure.

“You made it pretty clear before you left Jersey that you didn’t want to be tied down again. You’re out here chasing your dreams remember?”

“I know, but I really like him.”

Jongin emitted a long-suffering sigh, and said, “I will never understand why you like Chanyeol Park so much.”

“I will never understand why you don’t like him.”

“I like him as a bartender. He’s a really great bartender. I just feel you can do better. Like, you know, try dating someone that only has eyes for you. What a concept.”

Kyungsoo knew Jongin was right. He did deserve that, as did anyone, but the thing was, Chanyeol made him feel very intense things, and he made him smile stupidly and he made him want to be a better singer and not stop chasing his dreams.

There was something about Chanyeol’s baby face and large ears and impossible height and long limbs that gave Kyungsoo happiness and peace, and the fact that he had to share that with someone else annoyed him to no end. He very much wanted Chanyeol to be his and his alone.

“Did loverboy tell you there’s a party tonight?” Jongin then asked, his pancakes gone as he focused on drinking his milk instead.

“He mentioned it,” Kyungsoo shrugged.

He hated the parties. After spending all day in a tiring and stressful shift at the restaurant, the last thing he wanted to do was spend more time with the Barry’s staff watching everyone get drunk and high and end up making out with people they’d regret making out with in the morning. It was always a mess, but the problem was that Chanyeol usually always went, as did Chanyeol’s ex, and if Kyungsoo didn’t go, then it was guaranteed that Chanyeol would end up in his ex’s bed for the night.

“We going?” Jongin asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah probably,” Kyungsoo shrugged.

He definitely needed to rest. He was going to need to gear up as much energy as possible to deal with work and whatever mess the party brought that night.


	3. Tuna Melt on Rye

Chanyeol hated the parties. He swore he’d stop going to them, but he always went to keep his best friend and fellow bartender, Jongdae, company. And that’s how he always ended up in the situation he was in now: sitting on a couch, drinking a beer, and wondering if he was ever going to do something productive with his life.

“I’m too tired for this tonight,” Jongdae said, sitting beside him after having gone to get another beer. “My feet are dead, and I smell like tuna melt on rye.”

“Why do people even order that?”

“I had two people at the bar order it tonight. Two. It was a conspiracy against me.”

“I’m talking to Junmyeon about taking it off the menu.”

“Yes, because he listens to you,” Jongdae snorted, then took a sip from his red plastic cup as he bopped his head to the DJ Khaled song that was playing from the speakers.

“He’ll have to one of these days,” Chanyeol said absently, his attention now focused on Kyungsoo as he arrived with Jongin in tow.

To say his mood instantly lightened would be an understatement, and he gave Kyungsoo a big smile as he made his way to him.

“I was hoping to walk in and see you dancing with the lamp,” Kyungsoo teased him, sitting beside him and placing a small “hello” kiss on his cheek.

“It was one time,” Chanyeol lamented, and Jongdae let out his signature loud laugh that the neighbors could probably hear. He turned his head to give him a “hello” kiss back on Kyungsoo’s heart-shaped lips, and then handed him his beer. “Here, we can share this one.”

Kyungsoo took a drink from the cup and handed it back.

“I love how Jongin doesn’t even bother greeting people and sitting down when he comes to these things,” Jongdae said with another laugh. “He just goes straight to the middle of the living room and starts dancing, even if no one else is.”

“The party doesn’t start until he arrives,” Kyungsoo said proudly, and Chanyeol almost rolled his eyes.

It’s not that Chanyeol didn’t like Jongin. He respected that he was Kyungsoo’s best friend and roommate. It’s just that it annoyed Chanyeol to no end how oblivious Kyungsoo was to Jongin’s obvious crush on him, and it annoyed Chanyeol even more how Jongin didn’t hide from Chanyeol how very willing he was to make sure Kyungsoo didn’t really end up with him if he could help it. Chanyeol wanted to point out to Jongin that if Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed Jongin in that way by now, that he probably never would, but Chanyeol wasn’t one to crush people’s dreams.

“I like to think it starts when you arrive,” Chanyeol said, laying it on thick with blinking eyes for effect.

“You’re such an idiot,” Kyungsoo said with his own deep laugh, as he took the plastic cup from him again.

“Oh, sweet,” Jongdae said. “I might be getting laid tonight after all.”

Chanyeol looked over to see their manager Minseok walking into the party, greeted with both a cheer and a beer by the host for the evening.

“I’ve told you before,” Chanyeol said, “You can’t call it getting laid if he doesn’t let you put it in, and vice versa.”

“Hand jobs and blow jobs count as getting laid,” Jongdae countered.

“No they don’t,” Chanyeol insisted. “I don’t make the rules, Dae.”

Jongdae whined, but quickly stopped and threw a smile at Minseok who greeted people as he made his way over to them. Minseok nodded a hello to the group, attempting to look casual as he drank his beer.

“I didn’t think you’d come tonight,” Jongdae told him. “Since you weren’t scheduled at work today.”

“I only came to find you,” Minseok told him, and Chanyeol thought that was so smooth.

Kyungsoo must have thought so as well because he let out a soft “oooh” in response.

“You could have texted,” Jongdae pointed out.

“Not as fun as seeing your expression when I walked in.”

“Get a room,” Chanyeol coughed.

Jongdae elbowed Chanyeol, but kept his conversation with Minseok flowing.

“If you had texted, I could have gone home and changed out of my shirt, which smells like tuna melt on rye.”

“I love tuna melt on rye,” Minseok said, a mischievous look on his lips.

“Oh God,” Kyungsoo said, “Please go get a room.”

“Please,” Chanyeol begged.

“Please excuse my children,” Jongdae told Minseok, shoving Chanyeol’s arm.

Minseok laughed then said, “I’ll go find us a quieter place to talk.” He left them, and moments later Jongdae received a text letting him know that a more private place had been secured.

“Don’t have too much fun,” Chanyeol teased Jongdae, who excused himself, essentially for the night.

Chanyeol let out a heavy sigh before putting his arm around Kyungsoo.

“I can’t believe you haven’t put a stop to that,” Kyungsoo told him.

“You know, after our first conversation of, ‘Hey, Dae. You probably shouldn’t be hooking up with our married manager.’ led nowhere, I kind of figured it was a lost cause.”

“He just seems smarter than that.”

“He is smarter than that. He’s just caught up. It happens to the best of us.”

“I don’t get caught up,” Kyungsoo said, and snorted, giving himself away.

“You’re so caught up,” Chanyeol said, leaning his head in more to give him a real kiss this time, one of those lip-smacking types of kisses that often happen on the couch of a co-worker’s house party.

They were in their own bliss, ignoring their surroundings and lost in each other’s company, until they were rudely interrupted by Jongin, to no one’s surprise.

“How am I supposed to help you?” Jongin said, and Chanyeol and Kyungsoo broke apart to look over at Jongin, who had taken Jongdae’s vacated spot by Chanyeol, sweaty and smelling like someone that had danced too emphatically to the Bruno Mars song that had been playing.

“I don’t think anyone can help me,” said the young college student who sat on the coffee table to face Jongin as he spoke. The dejected expression upon his face meant that he was once again lamenting about his unrequited love.

“Oh my God, Sehun, just get over it,” Chanyeol said, maybe acting a bit more annoyed than he should have. But he couldn’t help it. He had been interrupted in the middle of bliss!

“But it’s not fair,” Sehun, whose official title at Barry’s was host, yet somehow he hadn’t figured out how to be a host yet. Whenever Chanyeol looked over to the host stand, Sehun usually looked bored and drank his boba tea, talking with the servers, while guests walked in and seated themselves. “It’s not like there’s a real rule against it. Jongdae’s hooking up with Minseok. I don’t see why I can’t hook up with Junmyeon.”

“How do you know about that?” Chanyeol asked, and then he shifted his eyes to Jongin.

“It just slipped out,” Jongin said.

“I told you not to tell anyone,” Kyungsoo said, reaching across Chanyeol to smack Jongin’s arm. “We don’t want Jongdae to get in trouble.”

“Exactly,” Chanyeol stated, and then explained to Sehun, “First of all, there is a rule about it, and Minseok is crossing a line and should not be hooking up with his employee. And second of all…”

“Junmyeon is a rule follower,” Jongin completed for him. “Minseok obviously isn’t. It’s why he gives us the better discounts.”

“You’re not the first employee who’s tried to get Junmyeon’s attention,” Chanyeol let him know. “He’s never gotten involved with anyone at the job. Sorry, kid.”

“There are so many other people for you to like instead,” Kyungsoo pointed out.

“But I like him,” Sehun pouted. “He’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“We’ve all seen your Insta,” Chanyeol said. “You can’t even take a picture of a tree without cutting it out of the picture almost entirely. You don’t have an eye for things.”

“Don’t be mean,” Kyungsoo said, smacking his arm. “Junmyeon is very handsome.”

“In that boring ‘I look like I’m going to my boring office job in a suit every day’ way?” Jongin offered.

“Oh my God that would be so hot,” Sehun said.

“Okay, I’m going to go find the bathroom,” Chanyeol said shaking his head.

“Thanks for leaving me alone with this,” Kyungsoo said.

“I promise I’ll be right back to save you. There’s only so much I can take of the kids.”

“Hurry, please,” Kyungsoo said with a soft chuckle that motivated Chanyeol to make sure this was the fastest pee he’d ever take.

Unfortunately, the problem with house parties was that people tended to use the bathrooms for making out instead of their intended purpose, so when Chanyeol had no luck with the bathroom on the bottom floor, he went upstairs, and tried his luck with the one on the second floor.

Lucky for him, the door was unlocked, and he was able to open it.

Unlucky for him, he walked in on the sight of the trivia night host, Kris, sitting on the toilet (seat covered at least) while Chanyeol’s ex was on his knees in front of him giving him a blow job that appeared to be sending him to another galaxy.

At least it had been, until Kris realized the door was open, and he barely started yelling at him to shut it before Chanyeol slammed it closed, his hand shaking from walking in on that mess.

Traumatized, Chanyeol headed back downstairs and decided he needed fresh air, so he went out to the backyard to relieve himself behind a bush and try very hard to remove the image from his mind so that he could return to the party a whole, sane person.

“What happened to you?” Kyungsoo asked when he returned to the couch.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Sehun pointed out.

“All I wanted was to go to the bathroom in peace,” Chanyeol stated. “But that’s hard to do when you open the bathroom door and Baekhyun’s on his knees giving Kris a fucking blowjob.”

“The trivia guy?” Sehun asked, looking confused and disturbed.

“He’s really good at it,” Jongin let Sehun know. “We used to have this other guy, but his questions were lame. Kris knows how to ask really good ones. My favorite are the ones where he passes out sheets of celebs and you have to identify them in like a minute or less.”

“Well that ruined the evening,” Kyungsoo stated, and the look on his face seemed a mix between pissed and resigned.

“Just because I’m traumatized doesn’t mean the evening’s ruined,” Chanyeol stated, trying to save the previous mood. He shouldn’t have said anything, but he was so shook he had to share it to help get it out of his brain, or maybe to allow others to join his misery. Either way.

“I’m tired anyway,” Kyungsoo said. “I should probably head home.”

“You just got here,” Chanyeol tried. “You know what will fix this? Food. Let’s go get In ‘n’ Out.”

“Yes!” Sehun and Jongin both said.

“At least you don’t have to worry about walking in on blow jobs in their bathroom,” Kyungsoo said standing up and placing their empty cup on the coffee table. “You’re buying.”

“I will buy you all the animal style fries you want,” Chanyeol promised. He’d do anything to try and get Kyungsoo back into a good mood.

“Can you buy for me too?” Sehun asked.

“No,” Chanyeol stated.

“Mean. I’m a poor broke college student.”

“I’ll buy you yours,” Jongin told him with a laugh.

Chanyeol texted Jongdae to let him know they were leaving, and when he didn’t get a response back, he knew that Jongdae was a bit preoccupied with their married manager.


	4. Three Chicken Tacos and a Hoegaarden

“Why does this feel like the longest shift ever?” Baekhyun complained to Jongdae, who was wiping down glasses behind the bar during a lull in customers.

“Because you’re probably still hungover from last night,” Jongdae pointed out. He was a very smart man.

“I threw up like twice,” Baekhyun said making a face at himself. “It wasn’t cute.”

“You’re not cute anyway, so no harm done.”

“Hey!” Baekhyun said, but laughed. “What time did you get in last night? I wasn’t coherent enough to notice.”

“Uh, three or four? We were trying to take advantage of the room at the house.”

“Yeah, that sucks. Why don’t you just bring him to our place already?”

“I just feel it crosses a line,” Jongdae admitted, and Baekhyun gave him a little pout.

As much as he was happy that his best friend and roommate was having fun with Minseok, he really hated that it came with so many rules. Baekhyun still remembered them eating leftovers on the couch while watching some stupid TV show that got tuned out by Jongdae’s long list of rules that Minseok had given him based upon the rules of his open relationship with his husband.

For starters, no penetration, for either of them, which had been the first thing that Minseok’s husband had mandated in their open relationship. Second, Minseok wasn’t allowed to bring anyone into their home for the purpose of hooking up, which is probably why Jongdae felt that maybe if the line shouldn’t be crossed in one direction, it maybe shouldn’t be crossed in the other either.

Baekhyun was sure there was logic to that thought process, but logic had never been Baekhyun’s forte, so while he didn’t understand why Jongdae felt that way, he did understand at least that Jongdae did feel that way.

“Well I hope you had fun at least,” Baekhyun told him with a smile.

“I did. I heard you had fun too with the trivia guy.”

“Kris is so hot,” Baekhyun stated. “Where does he get off being hot like that?”

Jongdae laughed and said, “I’m glad you had a good time,” and then nodded toward table 12, “Your regular is here.”

Baekhyun looked over his shoulder to see that his regular had indeed arrived, sitting in his usual spot with the best view of all the TV screens over the bar, and tapping away on his iPad as he always did while waiting to be served.

“Hey, Yixing,” Baekhyun greeted him with a big smile and a Hoegaarden, his usual drink. “I already put in your order. Three chicken tacos, unless you plan on surprising me today.”

“Not today,” Yixing told him with his own smile, “Thank you.”

“Let me know if you need anything,” Baekhyun told him, and then he moved on to a new table that had seated itself in his section. Freaking Sehun.

“Hey, guys. Welcome to Barry’s. I’m your server for the evening, Baekhyun, but you can call me Baek if it’s easier. Can I start you guys out with some drinks?”

Baekhyun knew he was really great at his job. Before Jongin had started working there, Baekhyun used to make the best tips, with his outgoing personality, cheery disposition, and ability to make everyone feel welcomed and taken care of. And while Baekhyun had the cute thing working for him, Jongin had the beautiful and sexy thing working for him, plus a killer smile, so he started pulling in better tips, which had made Baekhyun, who was naturally competitive, step up his game. They had a friendly rivalry going and always compared amounts at the end of the night when they worked the same shifts.

However, the whole restaurant thing was just temporary until he got his big break. Sadly, there were only so many roles in television and film to go around, and while he was a really good actor, he was also one of too many to count. The best break he had had so far was playing the classmate/sidekick of a middle school student on a Nickelodeon show, never mind he had been 19 when he had played it.

Baekhyun made the rounds to his other tables before heading to the bar to pick up the drink orders for his new table. He had expected to chit chat with Jongdae again as he did so, but Jongdae was talking with a customer and instead Chanyeol was the one placing his drinks on the bar for pick up.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said, throwing a careful smile in his ex-boyfriend’s direction. “Heard you walked in on us last night.”

“It can’t be unseen,” Chanyeol commented, not bothering to look up at him as he placed the last drink on the bar.

“Well knock next time.”

“Well lock the fucking door.”

“I thought he did.”

“Really, Baek?” Chanyeol said, finally looking up at him. “Kris? The trivia guy? Is there anyone you won’t hook up with or are your standards just that low?”

“What’s wrong with Kris? He’s hot. And really good at hosting trivia night. Like really good.”

“Kris is a dick. Everyone knows that. You shouldn’t let people like that use you.”

“Okay, dad,” Baekhyun said rolling his eyes. “I think I can handle people like Kris just fine. And we were using each other. That’s what a hook up is. Two people using each other. It’s not that serious.” Baekhyun grabbed the drinks and left Chanyeol to be annoying by himself.

Ever since their break up, Baekhyun’s relationship with Chanyeol had been confusing. Baekhyun didn’t like to think back to the day that Chanyeol had ended their relationship. It had taken a lot of time to finally accept it and move forward with his life, but part of accepting it for Baekhyun meant knowing deep down inside that he had been the sole reason for Chanyeol’s decision to break up with him, and that meant accepting that there was still a chance to get him back if he just fixed himself and showed Chanyeol that he was ready to be the boyfriend he had really deserved.

Unfortunately, being caught giving the trivia guy a blowjob hadn’t helped his cause.


	5. Egg in the Basket

If Kyungsoo hadn’t been desperate for a job on that fateful night he had entered Barry’s for the first time, and if he hadn’t thought the tall bartender that night was so attractive that he’d like the chance to work with him so he could stare at him on a regular basis, he never would have signed up to work at a place that was open for breakfast. It hadn’t even occurred to him. It was a sports bar. What kind of sports bar opened for breakfast? Barry’s apparently.

“Still waiting on an egg in the basket,” their general manager, Junmyeon, called out as he assessed the orders in the window, making sure each ticket was complete.

Kyungsoo was no professional chef, but he did consider himself to be a really talented cook. Why was it so hard to fry an egg properly in a piece of cheddar jalapeño bread? Who came up with such a stupid idea for a breakfast dish anyway?

“Just flip it one more time,” Jorge, his fellow cook, said. He did, and then waited a few seconds, and then plated it because he couldn’t stand looking at it anymore.

“If someone else orders it, you’re making it,” Kyungsoo let Jorge know as he put the plate in the window for Junmyeon.

Jorge laughed at him and told him that he needed the practice.

“It looks good,” Junmyeon assured him with a smile before handing the plate off to Seulgi and helping her run the orders to her table.

“Teacher’s pet,” Chanyeol said, looking too cute for the moment in his black T-shirt and flop of black hair as he waltzed into the kitchen, “Junmyeon never compliments me on anything.”

“It’s because you’re the worst bartender we have,” Kyungsoo told him. “Go back to work.”

“I’m tired of making mimosas,” Chanyeol whined. “I need a break.”

Kyungsoo started on the next order and snuck Chanyeol a piece of bacon to munch on while he stood there.

“Speaking of breaks,” Kyungsoo said. “Since we both have tonight off, how about we hit the studio and work on my demo?”

“How about we hit my bedroom and work on the inspiration for your demo instead?”

“I don’t get paid enough to hear this,” Jorge lamented.

“No one here gets paid enough to do anything,” Chanyeol threw back.

“I think I have enough inspiration,” Kyungsoo said, amused. “I have an idea for a song and think we should work on it before I lose it.”

“Fine, studio first, inspiration later. We’ll make it work.”

“Chanyeol, your bar is full. Why are you back here?” Junmyeon asked coming back in to assess the new orders.

“I’m gone,” Chanyeol said, disappearing from the kitchen.

When the breakfast shift ended, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol headed straight to the studio, and Kyungsoo wasted no time in taking out his notebook of lyrics, opening it to the page he had written on last night, and handing it to him.

Then he waited and watched Chanyeol’s face go from interest, to confusion, to recognition, to annoyance, to defeat.

“First of all, it’s not like I planned…”

“I don’t care,” Kyungsoo stopped him. “Give me music.”

“I’m not going to give you music for an inaccurate song that shits all over my character.”

“It’s my inspiration.”

“Your inspiration is wrong.”

“You can’t tell someone their inspiration is wrong. So I’m thinking like a fast melody,” Kyungsoo said, counting out a beat.

“We need to change some of these lyrics first. It’s the co-writer portion of this session.”

“As long as you don’t change my inspiration.”

Kyungsoo watched Chanyeol read over the lyrics again, lifting his pen to mark something then stopping himself, then starting again, just to stop all over again. Maybe Kyungsoo had been a little harsh, and maybe he felt a little guilty. He knew Chanyeol really didn’t have any control over his ex’s exploits, but still. One night at a party without him having to mention him would be nice.

“It’s fine,” Chanyeol finally said. “It’s your inspiration.” He set the notebook back next to the control panel and now Kyungsoo felt a bit like an asshole.

Chanyeol played a few bars on the keyboard, not liking it, then starting over at a lower key.

One of Kyungsoo’s favorite things about Chanyeol was watching him work his magic with music. UCLA had been lucky to have such a musical protégé in their midst. When Kyungsoo had discovered that Chanyeol could play the piano perfectly, he almost became unglued. When he found out he could play the drums, guitar, bass, violin, cello, saxophone, and trumpet, Kyungsoo literally took his clothes off and jumped into his bed.

For Kyungsoo, music was a passion. For Chanyeol, it was his way of life. Kyungsoo breathed music. Chanyeol was music.

It’s why they made a great pair and why they should legitimately get to be together without anyone else in the picture.

Kyungsoo grabbed his notebook back and reworked some of the lyrics to be a bit less mean and to provide this new insight in an almost pleading way.

Then he handed it back to Chanyeol and asked, “Better?”

Chanyeol sighed and took the notebook, reading over it then shrugging and putting it back where he could see it as he came up with the music. He didn’t address the new lyrics and got lost in what he was trying to create, and Kyungsoo watched him, tapping his pen against his lips and thinking he should take it back and make Chanyeol feel better.

“I’ll talk to him tonight,” Chanyeol then said after a rather incredible melody had been found. “I’ll put an end to it. Go jump on the mic and try your lyrics out.”

Kyungsoo picked up his notebook and dropped a kiss on Chanyeol’s cheek then headed into the sound booth.


	6. Buffalo Chicken Pizza

Chanyeol had been hoping that after Baekhyun got off his shift, he would go straight home where Chanyeol could talk to him in the safety of Jongdae’s presence in the apartment.

But he should have known better.

When he found out Baekhyun and Jongdae were at a bar, he debated pushing the whole conversation to tomorrow at work, but that would be awkward and weird since Kyungsoo would be there as well. Plus, he wanted to surprise Kyungsoo in the morning with an iced coffee and the news that they were officially boyfriends.

So instead he told Jongdae to let him know when they got home so he could pop on over.

Of course it had been a bad idea.

Chanyeol knew it had been a bad idea.

After three knocks, the door was opened by a very loud and drunk Jongdae cheering for him as if he had walked into his own surprise birthday party.

“If you’re like this, then I can’t imagine what the other one is like,” Chanyeol sighed, Jongdae’s laughter carrying him inside.

“Help us finish this,” Baekhyun said, sitting at the small eating table they had all split three-ways to buy. A box of buffalo chicken pizza sat in the middle, and as if they hadn’t drunk enough at the bar, they had bottles of beer open to accompany the food.

“Leftovers from work?” Chanyeol asked them.

“I was too busy to finish my lunch,” Jongdae explained sitting at the table.

Chanyeol had great memories of living in this apartment with them. The three of them, having met in college, became instant friends and decided to live together once they had all graduated. It had been fun, when things were great. But just as a lot of good memories had been made there, the more painful ones tended to linger on Chanyeol’s mind a bit more.

“Minseok made it special for him,” Baekhyun teased, sticking his tongue out at Jongdae.

“It was because he felt bad that we couldn’t hang out tonight like we had originally planned,” Jongdae said.

“Which is why I took him to the bar instead to have fun,” Baekhyun explained with a nod.

Chanyeol took a slice of the pizza even though he wasn’t that hungry and looked at Jongdae.

“Why’d he cancel?” Chanyeol asked him.

“Luhan got an earlier flight for the morning, so he had to clean the house tonight after work and stuff,” Jongdae shrugged. “I don’t know. Domestic married things, I guess.”

“Sounds boring,” Baekhyun waved off.

“Well at least he made you a good pizza,” Chanyeol had to admit. “This is actually really good.”

“Pizzas are the only things Minseok gets right when he has to jump on the line to help,” Baekhyun laughed.

“Stop,” Jongdae said hitting Baekhyun’s arm. “He’s a good cook.”

“He’s definitely better than Junmyeon,” Chanyeol snorted.

“That’s for sure,” both Baekhyun and Jongdae agreed.

“So what’s going on?” Jongdae asked him. “What’d you want to talk about?”

Chanyeol reached for Jongdae’s beer to take a drink of support.

“It’s Baekhyun I need to talk to.”

“Is this about Kris again?” Baekhyun said, rolling his eyes and folding up what was left of his pizza to stuff it all in his mouth.

“Not exactly,” Chanyeol said.

“I’ll leave you guys to it then,” Jongdae said getting up. “Leave me a slice for breakfast.”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun said nothing to each other as they waited for Jongdae to go to his room, and then Baekhyun spoke first.

“You should have come to the bar with us. It would have been like old times.”

“Old times is what I’m trying to avoid,” Chanyeol said.

“Why? You’ve gotten so boring now,” Baekhyun said with a laugh, and then he apologized. “Sorry, I’m a little drunk.”

“You know you shouldn’t be drinking like that.”

“No, I’m not that drunk,” he waved off. “Just buzzed. Like a good feeling. It must be why you decided to come here tonight. It’s like you knew you had to keep my happy buzz going with your presence.”

“That’s not at all why I’m here.”

“You’re acting too serious for how I’m feeling. Finish Dae’s beer. It’ll help.”

Chanyeol felt frustrated already, and he knew he should just leave, but he really needed to have this conversation tonight. He got up from the table and took the remaining slice of pizza to the kitchen to wrap it up for Dae.

“Did something happen?” Baekhyun asked as he followed him. “Sorry, I was too buzzed to consider that you needed to talk because something might have happened. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Chanyeol assured him, putting the wrapped-up slice in the fridge. “I came by to tell you that we need to stop…”

“I don’t feel good,” Baekhyun then interrupted him, and Chanyeol looked over to see him clutching his stomach.

“It’s because you shouldn’t have been out drinking like that,” Chanyeol said, walking over to him.

“I’m not that drunk though,” Baekhyun said, looking up at him with the puppy dog eyes that used to make Chanyeol melt, but now always reminded him instead of how he used to cave too much to Baekhyun’s expectations.

And this was familiar territory, and all the danger signs were flashing, and Chanyeol’s conscience was telling him to leave, but instead he grabbed Baekhyun’s arm to lead him to his bathroom.

It used to be their bathroom, back when he and Baekhyun shared the master bedroom, which Jongdae had been nice enough to let Baekhyun keep after Chanyeol had moved out.

“I don’t think I need to throw up,” Baekhyun said.

“Just in case,” Chanyeol said, standing by the door as Baekhyun turned to look at him.

“I think it went away,” he said.

Of course it did. Chanyeol rolled his eyes and turned to leave, but he felt Baekhyun’s hand grab his arm.

“Wait, don’t go.”

“I came here to talk to you and tell you that we need to stop hooking up,” Chanyeol told him, his resolve strong. Or so he told himself.

“Why?”

“Because I want Kyungsoo to be my boyfriend, and he won’t be my boyfriend because of you.”

And then Baekhyun’s face fell, and Chanyeol knew he was in trouble.

“It’s just time, Baek,” he tried.

“It’s just time,” Baekhyun repeated to himself. “I love how it’s always so easy for you to throw me away.”

“I’m not throwing you away,” Chanyeol tried to defend, but Baekhyun walked past him and went toward the bed they used to share, taking off his T-shirt and tossing it on the floor. “Why can’t you understand that I need to move on?”

“I do understand,” Baekhyun said, taking off his basketball shorts before getting on the bed and sitting against the headboard, one knee raised as he leaned his head against it for a moment then looked back at him, catching Chanyeol swallowing a bit too hard. “So you’re here. So maybe we should hook up one last time. Give me something happy to remember you by before I lose you forever.”

This was a trap. Chanyeol knew this was a trap. He needed to leave right now.

“We can still be friends,” Chanyeol said, crossing his arms. “You’re so fucking dramatic. I’m never dating an actor again.”

Baekhyun chuckled at this, and then the asshole moved his hand to his crotch to begin caressing himself.

“Yeollie, please,” he then said, with a cock of the head and that tone he used when he really wanted something and expected to receive it. It was an almost-whine and so manipulative of him, but Chanyeol had never been able to duck out from Baekhyun’s manipulations that well. “Just one last time? You’re the only person that’s ever really made me feel good. Please?”

It was always the guilt that made him do it. That moment, in that very room, when he had ended things with Baekhyun, and had walked away from him as he lay crumpled on the floor crying about how if Chanyeol had ever really loved him he wouldn’t have broken up with him.

“Last time,” Chanyeol told him, taking off his shirt. “Do you understand? Last time.”

Baekhyun nodded, smiling at him like an eager puppy as he moved to his knees so he could reach out to undo Chanyeol’s jeans.

“We’ll make it extra good then,” Baekhyun told him, as he tugged down on Chanyeol’s jeans. “It’ll be the best ever.”

Chanyeol wasn’t sure about the best ever, but it was intense, and Chanyeol hated how much he enjoyed it. And when he woke up the next morning in Baekhyun’s bed, he knew he had fucked up.


	7. Chili Cheese Hot Dog

“So, are you taken yet?” Jongin asked Kyungsoo as he stood in the Barry’s kitchen and bit into the chili cheese hot dog Kyungsoo had made him for lunch.

“He said he didn’t have a chance to talk to him last night,” Kyungsoo told him as he added an order to the window and then went to work on the next one.

It had bothered Kyungsoo that he still had to wait, but Jongdae and Baekhyun had gone to a bar last night, so Chanyeol said he’d try him today.

“How hard is it to… hey, Baekhyun,” Jongin’s voice trailed off, and Kyungsoo focused on the grill in front of him.

“What’s up, Jongin,” Baekhyun said in an obnoxious way that involved a hand slap from what Kyungsoo could hear. “Wait, are you eating a chili cheese dog? Let me have a bite.”

Kyungsoo had to turn around to plate the next order and did his best to avoid glancing at the interaction.

“This is so good,” Baekhyun said. “Almost as good as the one I had last night.”

“I heard you went to a bar,” Jongin said, and Kyungsoo glanced at him then, Jongin then adding, “They had hot dogs there?” before taking another big bite.

“After the bar is the after party,” Baekhyun said with a laugh, picking at some of the chili and cheese that had dropped in the basket to eat as well. “Chanyeol came over and put this hot dog to shame.”

Jongin’s eyes flew wide as did Kyungsoo’s. He froze in his spot, hand hovering while holding tomato slices that he would lose grip on at any second.

“Chanyeol was at your place last night?” Jongin asked, mouth still half full as he put his hand up to cover it.

“Yeah, he came over and we had the best fucking sex we’ve ever had. Like I wasn’t even expecting it,” Baekhyun said and then laughed.

Jongin glanced at Kyungsoo, which made Baekhyun look over his shoulder, and then his eyes widened, but Kyungsoo was not buying that act. Even if he had just gotten on shift, Baekhyun had to have known there was a strong possibility that Kyungsoo would be working that day as well.

Kyungsoo looked down at the dish in front of him, taking a few seconds to remember where the tomato went, then put the plate in the window and turned back around to focus on his next order.

“I’m gonna go check in with Sehun,” Baekhyun said, probably to Jongin.

He didn’t care. So Chanyeol had lied to him. Not only had he gone to see him, but apparently he had gone to hook up with him instead of talking to him, which was just fucking great.

“Soo, you alright?” Jongin asked him.

“I’m fine,” Kyungsoo replied.

He was not fine. He was upset. Though what he was most upset about, he wasn’t sure.

Maybe it was that he had gotten his hopes up. They had been so close to making things official, and Kyungsoo had really wanted it. But maybe Chanyeol didn’t really want it as much as he claimed to. Maybe Chanyeol liked having both him and Baekhyun wrapped around his finger. Maybe Chanyeol would like this spatula shoved up his ass.

He focused on his shift instead, the amount of orders coming in so quick he barely had a chance to think about how he’d like to throw all of this food in Chanyeol’s face when he saw him again. But was it even really Chanyeol’s fault? It’s not like he owed Kyungsoo anything. They weren’t together. Kyungsoo reminded himself of this.

And yet, when Chanyeol did walk into the kitchen, just as Kyungsoo added more plates to the window, he had the desire to take one of the plates and toss it toward Chanyeol’s stupid big head.

“Hey, how’s it going back here?” Chanyeol asked, smiling, oblivious. It appeared neither Baekhyun nor Jongin had warned him that walking into the kitchen would be a trap.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo said, his face set, “Why don’t you ask your boyfriend Baekhyun?”

“He’s not my…” Chanyeol looked at him and he knew. The look on Kyungsoo’s face, the body language, the tone, the fact that Kyungsoo was gripping onto the spatula so hard his knuckles were turning white. He knew. “Did he tell you?”

“Who gives a shit?” Kyungsoo said. “The question is, why didn’t you tell me? You lied to me.”

“I did,” Chanyeol admitted, “I didn’t know how to…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kyungsoo cut him off. “Get out of my kitchen.”

“Soo…”

“When a cook tells you to get out of his kitchen,” Jorge said, suddenly standing beside Kyungsoo, “you get out of his kitchen. Go. _Vete_.”

Chanyeol looked hurt. Good.

He shook his head, more to himself, and left the kitchen.

“ _Cabrón_ ,” Jorge said.

“ _Cabrón_ ,” Kyungsoo repeated, and they both focused back on their work.


	8. Jalapeño Poppers

Jongdae placed the plate of jalapeño poppers on the bar for his two customers that’d be sharing them. He then refilled their empty beer glasses just as he noticed Chanyeol return to the bar, looking as if he needed to compose himself.

“Dae,” Baekhyun’s voice came at the other end of the bar, and Jongdae then noticed that Baekhyun kept glancing toward Chanyeol a bit nervously.

Jongdae took a deep sigh, knowing when he woke up that morning to find that Chanyeol had stayed the night that nothing good would come out of it.

“What’s going on?” Jongdae asked Baekhyun.

“I kinda screwed up.”

“Not surprising. What was it this time?”

“I kinda told Jongin that Chanyeol and I hooked up last night.”

Jongdae closed his eyes, then opened them and looked at his dumbass best friend, “Why did you tell him that?” Jongdae asked.

“We were just talking, and I was making a hot dog joke and then it was… well it was funny at the time, but Kyungsoo overheard me, and Chanyeol just came out of the kitchen, and he looks a bit emo, so I think he knows.”

“Baek…”

“I know. I have a big mouth.”

“Where were you when you told Jongin this?”

“In the kitchen.”

Jongdae blinked at him.

Baekhyun blinked back.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Jongdae said.

“I wasn’t thinking.”

“You very much were thinking. You did that on purpose. Why would you do that to Chanyeol?”

“I wasn’t doing it to Chanyeol.”

“I’m not going to listen to this right now,” Jongdae said putting his hand up, and then he quickly headed to the other side of the bar to check up on his other best friend, who was also a dumbass.

“I just heard,” Jongdae told him. “Are you okay?”

Chanyeol didn’t answer. He just sort of pursed his lips, then sucked his bottom one in, then shrugged.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun said, unfortunately coming over to that side of the bar as well. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No,” Chanyeol said shaking his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s my fault. It’s fine. I’ll deal with it.”

Baekhyun pouted and so did Jongdae, and Jongdae put his hand on Chanyeol’s back to give it a little comforting rub.

“I can talk to Kyungsoo for you,” Jongdae offered.

“No, it’s okay. My fuck up. My mess to fix.”

Chanyeol walked away from them to focus on customers, and Jongdae sent a small glare to Baekhyun.

“I don’t even want to know how the two of you ended up in your bed last night,” Jongdae told him, “But this isn’t cool.”

“I know. But he came over to try and dump me again and…”

“You guys aren’t together,” Jongdae reminded him. “He can’t dump you again. You have to let him go, Baek. For your health if nothing else. And for his. Also, you need to apologize to Kyungsoo for that stunt.”

“He’ll kill me if I walk back into the kitchen. I keep sending Wendy in to get my orders.”

Jongdae noticed his jalapeño poppers duet were waving him over.

“Baek, grow some balls, apologize to Kyungsoo, apologize to Chanyeol, and find your self-respect before you and Chanyeol both hurt each other really badly again.”

Jongdae hated throwing that in Baekhyun’s face, but he had definitely crossed a line with gloating about last night to hurt Kyungsoo, probably in hopes that Kyungsoo would stop messing around with Chanyeol for good, which wouldn’t be good for any of them.

He tended to his customers and kept an eye on Chanyeol, who did his best to put on a cheery disposition for the new barflies. But all he could think about was how great Kyungsoo was for Chanyeol, and how he was exactly the kind of person he needed to be with after the disaster that was his relationship with Baekhyun.

Even if Chanyeol didn’t want him to, Jongdae knew he had to help however he could, so he made sure to time his break so it coincided with Kyungsoo’s and caught him as he was leaving out the back of the restaurant.

“Hey, mind if I join you?” Jongdae asked with a smile.

“I’d like to be alone,” Kyungsoo told him, in the middle of pulling earbuds out from his jeans pockets to put in his ears.

“Then let me say something,” Jongdae said, gently touching his arm to get him to stop walking.

They stood in the alleyway between their restaurant and the neighboring Mexican cantina next door, the temperature just right to cool them off from being inside the busy restaurant.

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say,” Kyungsoo told him.

“I know you don’t, but I don’t know how much Chanyeol has ever talked to you about his relationship with Baekhyun…”

“It doesn’t come up often. Mostly because I don’t care to hear about it. So I’d rather you not.”

“I think that’s part of the problem here,” Jongdae tried to explain. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but Chanyeol really is trying to move on from his relationship with Baek. He’s not the problem. The problem is Baek. Chanyeol really likes you. He wants to be with you, but his and Baek’s relationship is really complicated, and you know how Chanyeol is, he doesn’t want to make things worse for people or hurt anyone. He’s trying to figure it out, and I really hope you don’t write him off after what happened. You guys are really great together. I think, if you can, it’ll be worth it to hold on a little longer while Chanyeol works it all out.”

Kyungsoo considered him for a moment, then said, “I always figured you were team Chanyeol and Baekhyun getting back together. Since they’re both your best friends.”

“I barely survived that the first time. I really need for them to end for good,” Jongdae admitted. “I care about them both a lot, and I want them both happy, and I know for a fact that can’t happen if they’re together. You, however, make Chanyeol stupid happy. I’m team you two. At least hear him out, okay?”

“I’ll think about it,” Kyungsoo said, and he put his earbuds in and walked away from him, probably going for a walk to clear his mind.

Jongdae sighed and headed to the coffeeshop, hoping he had done enough to help Chanyeol out.


	9. Hawaiian Pizza

With the last bar customer gone and the last few patrons wrapping up their bills, Chanyeol began wiping down the counter and then counting his tips.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said, coming over to the bar as he put his own tips on the bar to organize. “I really am sorry for what I did. I shouldn’t have told Kyungsoo.”

“It doesn’t matter. The truth always comes out eventually,” Chanyeol said, not looking at him.

“I just didn’t want last night to really be the last time.”

Chanyeol sighed and looked up at his ex, who stood there looking uncertain as he chewed on his bottom lip.

“You can hurt me all you want, but please leave Kyungsoo alone. He hasn’t done anything wrong. Can you please promise me you’ll avoid hurting him again in the future like this?”

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

“You hurting Kyungsoo hurts me, so either way, do you think from now on you can maybe avoid that?”

Baekhyun bit his lip and then nodded, though he didn’t confirm verbally, a rare feat for the guy that loved to talk any chance he was given.

“It wasn’t our last time though, right?” Baekhyun tried.

“We agreed that it was.”

“Yeollie…”

“Baek, I’ve had a shit day. Can you just give me some space tonight? Please?”

“Okay, maybe we can talk about this tomorrow.”

Chanyeol said nothing and returned to counting his money, feeling less tense once Baekhyun left the bar finally giving him his space.

He finished up and began to organize things for the morning shift, surprised when Kyungsoo came out of the kitchen with a pizza box, setting it on the bar in front of Chanyeol and sitting in the barstool.

“I made you dinner,” Kyungsoo said, opening the box to reveal Chanyeol’s favorite pizza on their menu – the Hawaiian pizza.

“Thank you?” Chanyeol asked, unsure what this was about. “Is it poisoned? I deserve it if it is, and I’ll still eat it, but I thought I’d ask.”

“We were out of poison so I added more oregano to the sauce to make up for it. We’ll see if you make it through the night.”

Chanyeol was starving so he grabbed a slice and took a bite, not sure why Kyungsoo was being nice to him, but taking what he could get.

“I don’t know if it’s just because I’m starving, but I swear this is the best one you’ve ever made.”

“It’s probably the oregano,” Kyungsoo stated.

“Why are you being nice to me right now?” Chanyeol asked as he continued to devour his slice.

“I just want to understand. You can’t be serious about wanting me to be your boyfriend if you’re still hooking up with him. So, I guess I want to know if I should give up on that idea altogether. Like what is it that you actually want?”

“I want you to be my boyfriend,” Chanyeol hurried to say, barely swallowing in time to say it. “I don’t want to hook up with Baekhyun, but I have a very hard time saying no to him.”

“Why?”

Why. If only the answer was an easy one.

“It’s… the way he is. It’s complicated. Our whole relationship is complicated. I just don’t want to hurt him.”

“But he has no issues with hurting you.”

“It’s not like that.”

“You always make excuses for him.”

Chanyeol sighed and nodded, knowing how very true that was.

“In my mind and heart,” Chanyeol said looking right into his eyes, “last night was the last time. I’m not letting it happen again.”

“I’d be stupid to believe you.”

“I know,” Chanyeol sighed, motioning for him to have a slice as well to help him out as he grabbed another. “I don’t expect you to believe me. I’ll just have to prove it to you.”

“You need to go get tested.”

“I did.”

“No, I mean again, after however much time passes from last night. Baekhyun sleeps with everyone.”

“We always use condoms when we’re together,” Chanyeol assured him, but seeing the dubious look on Kyungsoo’s face, he added, “I will.”

“I’m not having sex with you again until you get the results back.”

Chanyeol looked at him, trying to assess how serious he was, but then it dawned on him what he was really saying.

“Wait, again? So we’re still together?”

“We’re not together.”

“Right. You know what I mean,” Chanyeol said, feeling relief flood his body. “So we can take this pizza back to my place and finish it there and maybe you can spend the night and maybe we can work on some songs or just sleep in and do nothing?”

Kyungsoo looked a little frustrated at him and looked away for a beat before looking back at him.

“I don’t know what we’re doing,” Kyungsoo said, and Chanyeol’s mood deflated again. “But, since it’s not a serious thing, then I don’t think it necessarily has to end. I don’t know. I’m going to go home and try and figure it all out. Enjoy your pizza.”

Chanyeol watched him hop off the barstool.

“Hey, wait,” Chanyeol said before he could take more than a few steps. “I really am sorry for lying to you. You didn’t accept my apology earlier, but I meant it. I don’t like lying to people, and I felt like shit the whole day for it. I don’t plan on fucking our thing up again, but if I do, I will be honest with you. I promise.”

“If you lie to me again, you don’t ever have to bother talking to me again,” Kyungsoo replied, and he walked away.

Even with those words, Chanyeol felt a bit of hope in his chest. If he could handle the Baekhyun situation once and for all, he’d have himself a new boyfriend – one that made him happy, and warm, and made him the best Hawaiian pizzas in the world.


	10. Wings

Jongdae went to the kitchen to find a late-night snack and noticed Baekhyun sitting on the couch, the TV on, but he stared away from it, knees raised to his chest and looking lost. Jongdae had the feeling this would be the situation when he had been surprised in the morning by Chanyeol coming out of Baekhyun’s room.

He opened the fridge and looked around for something snackable, pulling out some leftover wings he had brought home from work a few days ago. After heating them up in the microwave, he grabbed paper towels and sat beside Baekhyun on the couch.

“Help me eat these,” he told him, putting the plate between them.

Baekhyun said nothing, which Jongdae knew would be the case.

“How are you feeling right now?”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun said, and Jongdae assessed he was not fine.

“Did you take your meds today?”

“Yes,” he said, and Jongdae assessed he was telling the truth.

“This is why you shouldn’t be drinking, Baek. It messes with your meds and then they don’t work as well as they should.”

“I’m fine.”

Jongdae ate a wing, realizing that the TV was showing an infomercial for skin care products. Baekhyun must have checked out a while ago, not realizing whatever he was watching had ended.

“What’s on your mind?” Jongdae then tried.

“I really fucked up.”

“What happened exactly?”

“He came over to talk about how he didn’t want us to hook up anymore. And I told him that we should hook up one last time then. But I didn’t think he was being serious. He’s said before that it would be the last time and it wasn’t. This one felt different though. So I freaked out and tried to get Kyungsoo out of the picture my own way, but I ended up hurting Chanyeol.” He sighed and finally looked toward the plate of wings. “I didn’t want to hurt Chanyeol. And now I think he hates me, and that’s going to make it harder for me to get him back.”

“Baek, you’re one of my best friends, and you know that I’ve always got your back and I’m here for you no matter what, but I’m about to be really blunt with you. If you can’t respect Chanyeol enough to not hurt him, then you don’t deserve to have him. By the same token, if he can’t respect you enough to not keep giving you false hope, then he doesn’t deserve to have you. Just let him go already.”

“If I let him go, I’m going to be alone forever.”

“I love that you’re telling me this. At least you find guys to hook up with that are single. The only person sitting on this couch that’s going to be alone forever is me.”

“They only want to hook up with me. They don’t want to be with me. Chanyeol’s the only person who’s ever actually loved me and wanted me for more than a good time.”

“Don’t…,” Jongdae tried to figure out how to say what he needed to say without being blunt again. He knew Baekhyun wouldn’t be able to handle too many truths in one night. “To be fair, you pick up guys at bars and clubs. That’s not where you’re going to meet anyone long term. You met Chanyeol in college, so the opportunity was there to meet someone like him. It’ll happen again. Maybe instead of hanging out at parties and bars, you should go hang out in theater classes more, or other places where you can meet people outside of a hook up setting.”

“Maybe, but I have a feeling that won’t help,” Baekhyun said, finally picking up a wing to take a bite. “Chanyeol went and found someone at the restaurant. You’ve found someone at the restaurant. In all the time I’ve worked there, I’ve only ever found hook ups. It’s different for me than you guys. People meet you and know you’re the kind of guys to have relationships with. People meet me and… it’s different.”

“It’s all about the vibe you give off.”

“This is who I am, Dae,” Baekhyun said, a little frustrated now, and Jongdae backed off.

“What were you watching before? Do you want me to put on a movie instead?”

“I can’t watch a movie. I have to practice for my audition in the morning.”

“You have an audition in the morning?” Jongdae asked, surprised he hadn’t been told until then.

“Yeah, my agent called me late about it and sent me the sides while I was at work. Can you run lines with me?”

“Of course,” Jongdae said with a big smile, always ready to help Baekhyun out with his acting career and dreams. “Who shall I be for you today?”

“A white, teenage girl who needs to ask the nerdy Asian kid in her class for help on her homework so she doesn’t end up getting kicked off the cheerleading squad for bad grades.”

“Ah yes, the old Asian nerdy kid stereotype,” Jongdae said shaking his head with a laugh. “I’m ready when you are.”

Baekhyun sent him the sides to pull up on his phone, and Jongdae settled in for a hopefully calm evening of running lines and eating leftover wings.


	11. California Burger

Kyungsoo had just clocked in when he got intercepted by Kris the trivia guy, holding a plate that held a California Burger and side of fries, clearly having gotten a hook up before leading trivia for the night.

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” he said with a smile.

Kyungsoo may have had a thing for tall types, and when he had first seen the trivia guy, he did have to stop himself from taking multiple glances before focusing on work. Kris was undoubtedly attractive, but he came off a bit like a douche, which Kyungsoo didn’t care for.

“Hey,” he said back, not so much a greeting, but just a response as he moved around him to get started on his work day.

“You’re seriously too good looking to be working back of the house,” Kris said, not leaving the area as Kyungsoo put his apron on. “Like I’m sure you know that, but you should be a bartender or something so everyone can see you.”

“I don’t want everyone to see me,” Kyungsoo remarked, taking a glance at what orders were already in and looking over to see who was on the line with him for this shift.

“We should hang out sometime.”

Kyungsoo almost laughed at him, but then he considered for a moment what Chanyeol’s reaction would be to him hanging out with Kris, and then he realized he wasn’t a vindictive little shit like Baekhyun.

“Not interested,” he replied.

“You sure? I’ve seen you look at me.”

There it was, that cocky douchebaggy thing that suddenly made him unattractive.

“You hooked up with Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo told him.

“So? Everyone’s hooked up with Baekhyun,” Kris shrugged. “Besides, I hear you’re hooking up with Chanyeol, and he’s definitely hooked up with Baekhyun.”

“He’s the exception. And I only allow one. Have a good trivia night,” Kyungsoo said, ending the conversation and joining Heechul at the grill to save him from what looked like a burger battle he was going to lose.

Moments later, Junmyeon came into the kitchen and called out, “Heads up. We’ve just seated a 12 top and a 17 top. Their drink orders are being taken now, so watch out for appetizers and try and get everything already in off the screen.”

Kyungsoo liked busy nights, the challenge of cooking a perfect dish under a rush was one he looked forward to, and he liked to show off from time to time, getting his orders out fast and still managing to plate them perfectly. Pushing himself in this way always helped him keep his mind off the constant chaos in the kitchen, and also thoughts in general.

“My 17 top is a birthday party and I already know they’re not going to leave a good tip,” Kyungsoo heard Jongin complain as he walked into the kitchen to pick up appetizers for his large party.

“My 12 top are the obnoxious trivia regulars that always win because they keep adding more people to their team,” Baekhyun then vented.

Kyungsoo absently wondered if Chanyeol was working the bar in the basement tonight for trivia night. Not that it bothered him if both him and Baekhyun were down there working, but he just wondered.

“They’re so obnoxious,” Jongin agreed. “I’m glad they’re yours tonight instead of mine.”

Kyungsoo added three of the appetizer orders to the ones already in the window. They turned out to be for Jongin’s table, and he and Seulgi who was helping him out with the large party grabbed them and headed out of the kitchen, leaving Baekhyun alone to stand at the window as he assessed what he was still waiting on.

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” he heard Baekhyun say, and he glanced up, wondering what he was going to bother him with while he tried to get his appetizer completed. “I’m sorry for what I did the other day. I shouldn’t have told you about it. Like that. Or at all. I’m just sorry.”

Kyungsoo looked back down and finished plating the obnoxious trivia people’s appetizer, then shoved it into the window toward Baekhyun with such force that the insincerely apologetic man jumped a couple of steps back.

“Don’t fucking talk to me,” Kyungsoo told him.

He turned back around and started working on entrees, hoping that put an end to any further interaction between them. He wasn’t lying. He really didn’t have time for the mess and drama that came with Baekhyun, and the more time he had spent at home talking to Jongin about all of this, the less he felt he wanted to deal with any of it. Maybe it was best to give up on the whole Chanyeol thing after all.

“Did we piss off the customer gods today?” Chanyeol’s voice came through the kitchen, and Kyungsoo let out a deep breath and didn’t turn around.

“It’s insane out there,” Minseok agreed. “Why are you back here? Your bar is overflowing.”

“I ran out of limes,” Chanyeol defended.

Kyungsoo added more food to the window just as Chanyeol came back through with his small pail of limes and threw him a small smile. Kyungsoo couldn’t stop his face from smiling back.

Stupid face. Stupid Chanyeol’s smile making his face be stupid. Stupid not giving up on the whole Chanyeol thing just yet.


	12. Irish Nachos

Jongdae knew that Chanyeol did not want to go to Irene’s birthday celebration at the Irish Pub down the street. But he also knew that Chanyeol would go, because Irene was a fellow bartender, honestly their best bartender, and because she would give him hell for missing it, so Jongdae came up with a good plan for him.

“Just have a beer and say you have to meet Kyungsoo for something,” Jongdae told him as he opened the door for them to the loud and rather packed pub, the smell of Guinness greeting them. “I’ll cover for you.”

“I already told Kyungsoo. He’s going to stop by with Jongin.”

“Then you both can make an early exit.”

“It’ll be fine,” Chanyeol said, “I mean, it’s like a test, right? It’s like people who give up drinking and go to bars to make sure they’ve really beaten the habit.”

“If you say so,” Jongdae said, and that overwhelming feeling that things were about to get crazy came over him. But maybe they’d all be lucky. Maybe Baekhyun just wouldn’t show up.

“Shots shots shots!” Baekhyun yelled out as he stood by the bar with Heechul and Wendy, egging on Irene to take a birthday shot.

Jongdae sighed and parted from Chanyeol as he went straight to the bar, grabbing Baekhyun’s arm and pulling him away to speak with him.

“You promised me you wouldn’t drink tonight,” Jongdae reminded him.

“I’m not. I’m drinking water,” he said lifting his glass of what very clearly was ice water. “I might go a little crazy in a few and get a soda. In the meantime, it’s my job to make sure the birthday girl gets shitfaced.”

“How altruistic of you,” Jongdae told him, noticing Minseok walk in with Junmyeon.

“What are you drinking tonight?” Baekhyun asked him. “Want me to order you a beer?”

“I’ll order it,” Jongdae said, stepping toward the bar and wishing Irene a very happy birthday then placing his order as he took his phone out to text Minseok.

_Looking hot. Why’d you bring him though?_

Jongdae had been hoping that he and Minseok could sneak off at some point, but with Junmyeon around, that possibility wasn’t as likely. Aside from being managers, Minseok and Junmyeon were best friends, Junmyeon even having been Minseok’s best man at his wedding. And while Junmyeon was well aware of Minseok and Jongdae’s illicit relationship and didn’t interfere because he didn’t want Minseok to lose his job, he very much did not approve of it.

_Junmyeon and Irene have known each other forever. He wasn’t not going to come._

Jongdae read the reply and sighed, thanking the bartender for his beer and glancing over to see that Kyungsoo and Jongin had arrived at some point, Kyungsoo now sitting next to Chanyeol at a table, and Jongin talking to Sehun and Yeri, another one of their host-stand college kids.

He walked over to the table and sat in the chair beside Chanyeol’s.

“Junmyeon’s here,” Jongdae lamented.

“Oh man, sorry,” Chanyeol said patting his shoulder. “Kyungsoo and I were talking about picking up food from somewhere after we’ve put in a respectable amount of time here.”

“I ordered us some Irish Nachos,” Jongin said, pulling up a chair to sit with them, Sehun joining them as Yeri went off to talk with Seulgi who had just shown up.

“Did you guys see Junmyeon is here?” Sehun said, looking very much like someone excited to talk about his crush.

“If you say he looks hot, I’m going to barf,” Jongin warned him.

“Not hot,” Sehun explained. “He never looks hot. It’s always beautiful.”

“Barfing,” Jongin stated.

Jongdae watched as Chanyeol rested his arm on the back of Kyungsoo’s chair, the two sharing a disturbed yet amused glance at Sehun’s proclamation. He thought of how nice it would be to do the same with Minseok out in public like this, then made the thought go away with another sip from his beer.

“Since it looks like everyone’s here,” Irene said, grabbing a microphone from a small step stage she now stood on, “It’s time to start the karaoke!”

“Karaoke?” They all said at the same time.

“Oh, man, we should have known,” Chanyeol said shaking his head.

It was true. No one loved their karaoke more than Irene. In fact, on karaoke nights, she had been banned from working the basement because she’d often leave the bar to jump on the mic and sing, not once, but as many times as she could get away with.

“Well since we can’t do it at work, we’re going to do it here,” Irene told her protesting birthday guests. “I’ll go first.”

That was not surprising.

“Okay, three karaoke songs and then we’re out,” Chanyeol stated to Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo nodded.

Jongdae glanced toward Minseok, him and Junmyeon sitting in the table beside theirs. He tried to not steal glances, but it was hard because Irene had already had too many shots, and though she normally would have slayed the Adele song she had chosen, she was currently making Adele regret ever having recorded the song in the first place. All he wanted to do was roll his eyes at Minseok, or laugh with him over this ridiculous moment, but he kept his face trained on Irene and applauded when she was done, only because he was grateful it was over.

“Okay, I take it back,” Chanyeol said. “Let’s leave now.”

“Seriously,” Jongdae agreed.

“Jongdae!” Irene said pointing to him. “You’re next! You have the best voice at Barry’s. Let everyone hear it!”

Fuck his life.

“Okay, after this song we leave,” Chanyeol stated.

“I don’t want to,” Jongdae whined, but it was the birthday girl’s wishes, so he stood up and did a quick look at the catalog, then decided that if he couldn’t have fun later that night with Minseok, that he could have fun with him now. So he found the perfect song, then quickly texted him before he took the mic.

_This one’s dedicated to you._

He grabbed the mic and saw Minseok read the text and then smirk as he looked back up at him just as the opening notes of “Sugar” by Maroon 5 came on.

_I'm hurting, baby, I'm broken down  
I need your loving, loving, I need it now_

He knew he couldn’t be obvious so he made sure to look at Irene and other members of the audience, and threw in little hip movements when appropriate to make them laugh.

 _I don't wanna be needing your love_  
_I just wanna be deep in your love_  
_And it's killing me when you're away_  
_Ooh, baby,_  
_'Cause I really don't care where you are_  
_I just wanna be there where you are_  
_And I gotta get one little taste_

He did glance toward Minseok then and saw him staring at him with a big smile, laughing as Jongdae threw in another hip movement from side to side.

 _Your sugar_  
_Yes, please_  
_Won't you come and put it down on me_  
_I'm right here, 'cause I need_  
_Little love and little sympathy_

“Get it, Dae!” Baekhyun yelled out, waving a dollar bill around like he was at a strip club, and Jongdae cracked up because his best friend was ridiculous.

 _Yeah you show me good loving_  
_Make it alright_  
_Need a little sweetness in my life_  
_Your sugar_  
_Yes, please_  
_Won't you come and put it down on me_

Jongdae made sure to hit his high notes just right so that Irene would get the voice she wanted for her birthday, and then he thanked everyone before getting off the stage.

“You are such a good singer,” Sehun said, when he got back to the table.

The Irish Nachos had been brought out during that time, and Jongdae dug into the plate that was already half empty.

“Thanks,” Jongdae told him with a smile.

“Yeah that’s my first time hearing you sing too,” Jongin told him with a wide smile. “How did you learn to do that?”

“I don’t know. I just loved singing as a kid and kept doing it.”

“And then he went to college and majored in music so he could keep doing it,” Chanyeol told them with pride, “And that’s where he met me and his life has been great ever since.”

“What is this revisionist history?” Jongdae smarted at him as he saw a text come in from Minseok.

_Why am I blushing so hard right now? I hate you._

Jongdae chuckled and texted him back.

_You loved it. I saw you._

_I loved it so much. Maybe I can get us a room for the night? There’s a decent hotel up the street._

Jongdae blinked. That had not been something he had offered before. They had mentioned it to each other once, in a joking way, thinking that maybe it would be easier for them to rent a hotel room instead of hooking up in their cars or finding unoccupied rooms at people’s house parties, but then they had both laughed and said that it sounded so cliché.

But maybe that’s the point of their relationship they were in now – the part where they had actually crossed into the cliché zone.

“Why is Baekhyun taking the stage?” Jongin said.

Jongdae’s head jerked up to see that a very not-drunk Baekhyun had made his way up to the mic.

“Oh God,” Chanyeol said.

“Let’s just go,” Jongdae advised.

“If I stand up and start walking out, it’ll make it worse,” Chanyeol told him. “I knew we should have left after the first song.”

“Well, we didn’t,” Kyungsoo said, already looking done by the action as he grabbed another forkful of Irish Nachos.

“I want to dedicate this song to my ex-boyfriend,” Baekhyun said pointing right at Chanyeol.

Jongdae groaned.

Chanyeol said, “Kill me now.”

Kyungsoo stabbed the Irish Nachos with his fork.

 _I was a liar_  
_I gave into the fire_  
_I know I should've fought it_  
_At least I'm being honest_  
_Feel like a failure_  
_'Cause I know that I failed you_  
_I should've done you better_  
_'Cause you don't want a liar_

“Oh, I like this song!” Sehun said, bopping his head from side to side.

“He’s doing Ariana Grande? Really?” Jongin asked. “A bit ambitious, isn’t it?”

 _And I know, and I know, and I know_  
_He gives you everything but boy I couldn't give it to you_  
_And I know, and I know, and I know_  
_That you got everything_  
_But I got nothing here without you_

Jongdae knew that Baekhyun was quite skilled at emotional manipulation, but this was rich even for him.

 _So one last time_  
_I need to be the one who takes you home_  
_One more time_  
_I promise after that, I'll let you go_  
_Baby I don't care if you got him in your heart_  
_All I really care is you wake up in my arms_  
_One last time_  
_I need to be the one who takes you home_

Not one to let the obvious speak for itself, Baekhyun had made sure to point to Kyungsoo when saying that Chanyeol had him in his heart, and Jongdae looked over at Kyungsoo to see he didn’t look upset anymore, but Jongdae wasn’t sure what he looked.

“Okay, I take it back,” Jongin said, “I didn’t know Baekhyun could sing.”

“Neither did I,” Kyungsoo said.

Ah, Jongdae now recognized the look – threatened. Kyungsoo looked threatened.

 _I don't deserve it_  
_I know I don't deserve it_  
_But stay with me a minute_  
_I swear I'll make it worth it_  
_Can't you forgive me_  
_At least just temporarily_  
_I know that this is my fault_  
_I should have been more careful_

Jongdae looked at Chanyeol and noticed that he seemed to be less annoyed and more contemplative, either thinking about how to kill Baekhyun or thinking about how to disappear. Jongdae couldn’t be quite sure.

Never missing an opportunity when all eyes were on him, Baekhyun made sure to add in some dance moves and runs that Ariana Grande would have side-eyed him for instead of praised, but when it was all said and done, the entire place cheered for the natural born performer, who now beamed bright, loving all the attention that was being thrown at him.

Jongdae was conflicted between being disappointed that his friend had pulled this stunt, and happy for him that he got to show off his talents for a very attentive crowd.

“Well, that’s going to be hard to beat,” Irene said taking the stage with a laugh, “But I’ll try.”

Jongdae watched as Baekhyun made his way to their table, smug with the confidence only given by a room full of applause, as Irene began to sing “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé.

“You’re so good,” Jongin told him. “What the hell?”

“Yeah, that was really good,” Sehun told him.

“I’m glad you guys liked it,” Baekhyun said, sitting on Jongin’s lap and looking toward Chanyeol. “I thought it would be funny. ‘One Last Time.’ Get it?”

“Why?” Chanyeol asked him, looking rather defeated.

Baekhyun lost a bit of his smile and said, “I just thought the song fit…” he trailed off, and Jongdae watched him as he looked between Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo not looking at either of them and instead just staring toward the table in general. “Shit, okay, sorry,” Baekhyun said and got up from Jongin’s lap.

Jongdae watched him go straight for the bar and closed his eyes for a brief moment, then got up and followed to stop him from doing anything too stupid.

“Baek…” Jongdae said catching up to him.

“I’m just ordering a soda,” Baekhyun said, putting on an act as if he was perfectly fine.

Jongdae sighed and sat on the barstool next to where Baekhyun stood.

“I really thought it was funny,” Baekhyun stated as he waited for his soda. “Like it was the perfect song. But I guess it was too soon.”

“We need to work on your sense of humor,” Jongdae told him, and he asked the bartender for a glass of water. “It’s okay. I picked my song to flirt with Minseok because I was upset that we wouldn’t be hooking up. Clearly neither of us should have been allowed near a mic tonight.”

“I’m sorry Junmyeon is cock blocking tonight.”

“Kind of. Minseok texted me asking if he should get us a room at the hotel down the street.”

“Do it,” Baekhyun said smiling at him, “Especially if he’s paying for it.”

“That’s kind of… I mean, I know we’re hiding all this, but renting a room for the night just makes it seem so…”

“Dirty? Seedy? Sleazy? Cheap? Is it the LINE hotel a few blocks down? That’s like classy. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yes all those things, and a classy hotel doesn’t make it seem any less of those things.”

“I’d do it.”

“I know you would.”

Baekhyun sipped his soda as he smiled at Jongdae’s accurate assessment, and then he thought out loud, “Maybe I’ll tell Heechul to get us a room for the night instead of going to his place. I kind of like the excitement of the seedy factor.”

“You’re hooking up with Heechul tonight?”

“Yeah. I mean he asked, so who am I to say no?”

“You don’t always have to say ‘yes,’ Baek. You know that, right?” Jongdae said, knowing he looked concerned at the moment, but he was, and there was no point in hiding it.

“I know, but Heechul likes to cuddle and doesn’t kick me out after, so I don’t mind hooking up with him.”

“I can’t believe how low your standards are,” Jongdae said, rubbing his forehead at this.

Baekhyun just chuckled.

Jongdae thanked the bartender for his water and took a sip before seeing his phone light up with another text.

_Okay, sorry for suggesting it. I just wanted to give you “a little sweetness in your life.”_

“Fuck,” Jongdae said to himself.

“What happened?” Baekhyun asked.

“Now he’s quoting the song lyrics back to me.”

“Just go to the hotel with him already,” Baekhyun said taking his phone from him.

“Baek!”

“I got this,” Baekhyun said. “There. You’re welcome,” he then said handing it back.

Jongdae looked at the text Baekhyun had sent.

_Fuck it. Hotel it is._

“I hate you,” Jongdae said to him.

“You’re going to love me in the morning,” Baekhyun told him with a laugh.

He was going to kill him in the morning.

And then a text came back.

 _Then yes, I will come and put it down on you._ _:P_

“Oh my God,” Jongdae said, drinking more water and looking over at Minseok’s table to see him smirking at his phone. “Now he’s just mocking me.”

“Another song lyric?” Baekhyun asked, snickering.

“I hate you,” Jongdae said, and now he was the one blushing.

Okay, so maybe Jongdae could convince himself that this just made more sense. Neither of their cars were really that big, and they risked getting caught at other people’s places, so this was okay. This wasn’t so much a cliché but a necessity for their type of relationship. It was fine. It was totally fine.


	13. Pretzel Sticks

Chanyeol knew he was fucked, and the quieter Kyungsoo got, the more fucked he knew he was. Once Irene was done with “Single Ladies,” Chanyeol gave her a kiss on the cheek and promised her a private karaoke song in the future, explaining that he had to get going since he had to work the morning shift, which was true.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo walked to the parking lot, not saying anything to each other as they got toward Chanyeol’s car.

“Soo,” Chanyeol said, stopping and looking at him. He knew there was a pleading tone to his voice, but he wasn’t sure what he was pleading about. He just felt like he should be pleading.

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo said before he could add onto it, and he stopped and faced him. “You couldn’t have predicted that.”

“I should have actually predicted that.”

“You never told me he could sing.”

“It never came up.”

“Music is the most important thing to you,” Kyungsoo said, looking as if he was attempting very hard to stay calm and not really yell at him about something. “I barely knew you before you were talking my ear off about music and how brilliant of a singer Jongdae was, and how good of a voice Irene had, and never once did you mention that Baekhyun had a really cool fucking voice.”

“I don’t think of Baekhyun and singing,” Chanyeol defended, not sure what this had to do with anything. “He’s an actor, who just happens to be a really great singer. I mean it’s part of his overall performance training. But why does it matter?”

“It matters because I know you liked me for my voice, and I used to think that was kind of special because my singing is what’s most important to me, but now I know it’s not special. You just have a thing for people who can sing because music is what’s most important to you.”

“It’s not like that…”

“I’m literally just a notch on your musical bedpost.”

“Oh my God, no,” Chanyeol said shaking his head rapidly and waving his hands in front of him. “That’s not even close to how I think about you.”

“You collect singers and string them along. How many times have you taken him into the studio to write songs with him and tell him he’s an amazing singer and used that as foreplay before you had sex? Oh my God, I can’t believe I fell for this shit.”

Kyungsoo turned around and put his hands on his head, and Chanyeol ran around to the other side of him so he could look at him again.

“That’s not what this is!” Chanyeol swore to him. “I… yes, that happened, but it’s not what it is.”

“That’s exactly what it is!”

“No, it’s not!” But now Chanyeol didn’t know how to defend himself because he couldn’t suddenly come up with how it was different. He hung his head in his hands and tried to think through this, saying to himself, “Why is this happening to me?”

He took a deep breath and looked back at Kyungsoo, who stared at him looking like he was ready to argue with him if necessary.

“Fine,” Chanyeol told him, though nothing was fine and he felt his nerves start to unravel. “It’s fine. It’s okay,” he told himself and took another deep breath as his emotions started to well up in him.

He wasn’t sure if it was the frustration or the general sadness of knowing he couldn’t have anything good in his life so long as Baekhyun was in it in some capacity, but whatever it was, he knew he had no choice but to give up in that moment.

“What’s okay?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Whatever you want. It’s okay. You want to end this. We’ll end it. It’s fine.”

“Just like that?”

“I can’t give you what you want. I have major baggage. And you don’t deserve having to deal with this mess. And I’m tired of you getting hurt by all this. And I’m tired of you looking at me like this. And I don’t know what else to do,” Chanyeol’s voice wavered and he cleared his throat.

Silence passed between them for a moment.

“I don’t like seeing you get hurt by all this either,” Kyungsoo said. “But I’m confused by a lot that happened tonight. Or that I found out tonight. So maybe taking a break from each other isn’t the worst idea.”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It’s not what I want. It’s what I think we need. Or at least I need.”

“Okay, we’re taking a break from each other,” Chanyeol said, looking up for a moment to keep his emotions in check. “See you at work,” he then said and walked away, getting into his car before anything else could happen because there was only so much he could do to keep his tears from coming out.

That night, he arrived to his very lonely apartment, and sat on his couch, feeling sorry for himself as he ate leftover cold pretzel sticks from work. He had originally brought them home, thinking Kyungsoo would come over and they could share them like they tended to do as they hung out. He contemplated heating up the cheese sauce to dip in them, but realized he didn’t care enough to do so. At that moment, he only cared about the fact that he really really REALLY liked Kyungsoo, and instead of sitting there sharing warmed up pretzel sticks and cheese sauce with him, he was alone, with no almost-boyfriend to share them with because he had a 5’8” piece of baggage that refused to let him live in peace.


	14. Grilled Cheese

Baekhyun went to the register to input his table’s order, just as Jongin had come over to do the same.

“Aren’t you leaving soon?” Baekhyun asked him, finishing up to let him take over.

“Tao asked me to take over his shift, so I’m working a double.”

“Oh, man,” Baekhyun said. “Let me know if you need me to help or cover for quick breaks. That sucks.”

“Thanks,” Jongin told him, and Baekhyun turned to leave to check on his other tables, but Jongin stopped him. “Hey, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Kyungsoo and Chanyeol are on a break thanks to your karaoke stunt the other night.”

Baekhyun had heard. Jongdae had mentioned it to him yesterday.

“I didn’t mean it to be anything serious,” Baekhyun explained, for the five millionth time to whoever would listen.

“Right. Here’s the thing. I’m not a fan of Kyungsoo dating Chanyeol either, but he’s my best friend, and seeing him down like this isn’t cool. Kyungsoo didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know,” Baekhyun said, and sighed. He did know. He really did. But he hadn’t been thinking of Kyungsoo when he had made all his bad decisions. “I would try and apologize to him, but every time I do, he scares me, and he doesn’t accept my apologies anyway, so…”

“I just have a feeling this might not really be over. So maybe next time, if they start hooking up again or whatever, could you just, maybe let them be? Like I said, I don’t like it either, but sometimes you have to accept the reality of a situation. Especially if it makes your best friend happy. You know?”

Baekhyun did know. Or he wanted to know. He intellectually knew.

Either way, he nodded and made his exit from the conversation, checking up on his tables, needing the distraction of work.

“Hey, Xing, you doing alright?” Baekhyun asked, checking in with his regular who looked just about done with his beer. “Let me get you another.”

“Thank you,” Yixing told him with a smile, and Baekhyun smiled back always grateful for the one customer he could count on to be a calming presence among the chaos.

Baekhyun rang up his drink and went to the bar to wait for it, needing a quick break and a chance to lament.

“I’m starving,” he told Jongdae as his friend filled up glasses from the tap. “Can you have the kitchen make me a grilled cheese?”

“Why can’t you?” Jongdae asked, dropping off drinks to his customers then starting on Yixing’s.

“Because Kyungsoo’s on the line today, and I can’t ask him.”

“These are things you should consider before burning bridges,” Jongdae told him, placing in front of him the Hoegaarden fresh from the tap.

“Right, but I didn’t, and I’m starving. Please?”

“Yeah yeah, just give me a minute.”

“You’re the best. I love you,” Baekhyun said, giving him a stupid big grin before taking Yixing’s beer to him.

Yixing was smiling toward him when he started to walk over, then quickly looked down at his iPad.

“Here you go,” Baekhyun told him setting it down on his table. “You need to stop working so hard. What’s so interesting on that iPad of yours anyway?” He teased him.

“Oh, I just have an important deadline coming up,” he explained, giving him a sheepish smile.

“That sucks. Do you want me to get you more tacos to power through it?”

“No, I think the beer’s just fine.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you to work. I’ll check up on you later to make sure you’re on schedule,” Baekhyun teased with a little finger point and wink, leaving him to it as he moved on to his next guests.

Once Jongdae told him his grilled cheese should be ready, he went into the kitchen hoping that Kyungsoo was too busy to see him there. Jongdae had gotten slammed by an onslaught of new bar customers, so his plan of pretending to eat some of Jongdae’s food backfired since he’d have to go eat alone.

He stayed quiet as he saw the grilled cheese below the window, and he tried to sneak the plate before Kyungsoo turned around, but timing was not on his side.

“I’m taking Jongdae’s grilled cheese to Jongdae,” Baekhyun explained, although he hadn’t needed to provide an explanation.

“He told me it was for you,” Kyungsoo deadpanned, looking at him like he was the biggest idiot he’d ever seen.

“He did? And you still made it?”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and turned back around, and Baekhyun stepped aside, realizing that not only did the grilled cheese look perfect, but Kyungsoo had even added a pickle to the dish. None of the other cooks ever added a pickle when he asked for a grilled cheese.

He took a bite to calm his angry stomach and almost had a meltdown.

“Oh my God,” he had no choice but to state, “This is the best grilled cheese I’ve ever had.”

“He makes the best ones,” Wendy commented as she stood at the window waiting for her food.

“I had no idea,” he said, taking another bite.

Kyungsoo could have slapped cheese on bread and thrown it around the grill with no effort and tossed it on a plate for Baekhyun, but instead he used his skills to create the cheesiest, gooiest, warmest melt-in-your-mouthiest grilled cheese Baekhyun had ever had.

No wonder Chanyeol liked him so much, if this was the food he made for someone he hated, Baekhyun could only imagine the food he made for people he liked. The only time Baekhyun had ever tried to cook for Chanyeol, he had burnt the rice and seasoned the chicken all wrong, which had led them to ordering some Thai for dinner instead.

He finished off his sandwich and pickle in quick bites and said, “Thank you, Kyungsoo! That was amazing!” before leaving the kitchen in case Kyungsoo threw a glare, or a plate, at him.


	15. Enchiladas

After trivia night had ended, as Kris had walked to the kitchen, backpack slung over his shoulder, hoping to get a snack to go, Kyungsoo paused what he was doing to tell him that he had reconsidered.

“Wait what?” Kris had asked, looking down at him at an angle through the window.

“You said you wanted to hang out, right?”

“Yeah. Oh, I heard you and Chanyeol broke up or whatever. Is this a rebound thing?”

“We weren’t together,” Kyungsoo had explained, looking annoyed. “If you don’t want to hang out anymore…”

“No, I do. It’s cool. When are you off or whatever?”

They had made arrangements to do dinner at a good Mexican place Kris knew, and now Kyungsoo stood in front of his bathroom mirror not sure what look he had been going for, but thinking he had gotten it all wrong.

“I can’t believe you’re going on a date with the trivia guy,” Jongin said as he came into the bathroom to assess the situation.

“It’s not a date. We’re just hanging out,” he clarified, trying something different with his hair and brushing it forward. But it made him look too young, and Kris looked older, so he brushed it back again, and then looked at Jongin, held out his brush, and said, “Help.”

Jongin laughed at him, but took the brush and started working on Kyungsoo’s black mess of straight hair that seemed too boring at the moment for a date, or you know, hanging out with the trivia guy.

“Make sure he pays,” Jongin teased him.

“Technically I asked him.”

“He asked first previously.”

“We’ll probably just split the check. Because it’s not a date.” Kyungsoo looked at Jongin through the mirror with a stern resolve.

“You look perfect,” Jongin told him, putting the brush on the counter, and Kyungsoo assessed the style.

He had brushed it to the left, leaving a bit hanging over his forehead and the top a little tousled, giving it a life that it hadn’t possessed minutes before.

“You know, you should consider being a hair stylist if this whole waiter thing doesn’t work out for you,” Kyungsoo told him.

“My parents would be just as disappointed, I’m sure,” Jongin said with his loud, ridiculous high-pitched laugh that always made Kyungsoo laugh in return.

After circling the block around the Mexican restaurant three times, Kyungsoo finally got lucky and found a spot on the street to pull into, only a few minutes late walking inside and seeing Kris waiting for him at the bar.

“Hey, sorry, I was looking for parking,” Kyungsoo explained, when he saw him.

“Yeah, it took me several tries too,” Kris said, smiling at him and getting up from his barstool, towering over Kyungsoo and looking like a million bucks in his designer sweater and slicked back hair.

“This is…” Kyungsoo stumbled because he hadn’t been expecting Kris to take his whole appearance to another level, “…a different look than your trivia night one.”

“I’m not trying to impress anyone at trivia night.”

Smoooooth.

Kyungsoo cleared his throat then said, “You look really good.”

“So do you. But then again, you look great surrounded by smoke and covered in grease wearing an apron so I’m not surprised at how good you look tonight.”

Kyungsoo cleared his throat again and probably blushed, then looked around and said, “Should we get a table?”

“Yeah, I made a reservation. It should be ready.”

Kris led him back to the host stand, and they were sat within minutes in a nice booth for two, mariachi music playing around them as the lively atmosphere made Kyungsoo feel comfortable.

“So what’s good here?” Kyungsoo asked as he opened the menu.

“They have the best enchiladas in L.A. Trust me on this. I usually get their blue corn chicken enchiladas. It’s kinda their specialty. But if you prefer the green sauce, their enchiladas suiza are to die for.”

“I never pegged you for a foodie,” Kyungsoo told him, looking over the enchiladas portion of the menu.

“I’m not. I’m just a big fan of burgers and Mexican food,” Kris said with a smile.

“You know what you like,” Kyungsoo nodded and closed his menu. “I’ll try their specialty then.”

“Good choice. What are your favorite foods? Or do chefs not pick because it’s like trying to pick their favorite child?”

“I’m not a chef,” Kyungsoo told him. “I’m just a line cook.”

“That’s b.s. Barry’s food sucks unless you’re the one making it.”

“Jorge’s really good.”

“It’s been 75 years and Heechul still can’t grill a burger.”

Kyungsoo laughed, only because it was partly true.

They both ordered Coronas to go along with their enchiladas, and once the menus were gone and their beers were in their hands, Kris smiled at Kyungsoo and asked him, “So what do you do when you’re not being the best chef in Barry’s history?”

“Not much else,” Kyungsoo stated because he had only been doing music for the past however many months with Chanyeol, so it didn’t feel right to claim it as his own at the moment. “But hosting trivia night can’t be your only job. What is it that you really do?”

“I do graphic design at a multimedia company.”

“You’re an artist?”

“No, I didn’t say that. But I’m good at Photoshop and Illustrator.”

Kyungsoo was surprised by this show of humility, having expected him to talk about how he was a great artist of some sort. In fact, the entire trivia guy Kris he thought he knew didn’t seem to be present tonight at all. It was hard to imagine the guy in front of him being a douchebag and randomly hooking up with Baekhyun.

“So what got you into hosting trivia nights?” Kyungsoo asked as he took another sip of his beer.

“I fell into it. A friend of mine who’s a DJ said that the trivia guy at the place he worked at quit so I should give it a shot. He knew I was looking to make extra money on the side. I always liked performing, and my acting career hasn’t taken off, nor has my rap career, so it was a fun way to get in front of people and make money.”

“You rap?” For some reason, Kyungsoo had hyper-focused on that random fact.

“If this date goes well, I’ll give you my SoundCloud link.”

“If this…,” Oh, so it was a date. Now he wondered if he was supposed to be the one paying. “I hope you give it to me even if it doesn’t go well.”

They both reached for the chips and salsa at the same time and then Kris said, “I find it hard to believe you don’t do anything outside of work. Is this what you really want to be? A chef?”

“No,” Kyungsoo told him. “I want to be a singer.”

“That makes more sense,” Kris said with a smile. “I bet you’re an amazing singer.”

“Not amazing enough to get a record deal.”

“You just haven’t had the right person hear you yet. Do you have a SoundCloud?”

“Not yet, but I’m working on some music…” Kyungsoo trailed off, wondering how he could get what he and Chanyeol had worked on without having to really interact with Chanyeol. Maybe he could ask Jongdae to get it for him.

“When you’re done with it, let me know. I know people.”

“The same people that are helping you with your rap career?” Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow.

“My rap career will come together when it’s time,” Kris said with assurance, “Your music career could be now. You never know.”

“That’s one way to look at it.”

“You’re a very cynical person,” Kris observed.

“I was born this way. Where are you from anyway?”

“Canada. Vancouver to be exact. You?”

“Jersey.”

They continued to make small talk until their food arrived, and Kyungsoo had to admit that the enchiladas were some of the best he’d ever had.

“I think I could recreate this,” he said, trying to distinguish the flavor profiles on his tongue.

“If you do, I’ll marry you.”

Kyungsoo laughed and felt very conflicted again about the man who sat in front of him. And instead of enjoying his dinner with the company he presently kept, he couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it would have been to do this with Chanyeol instead.

“You seem kinda sensible,” Kyungsoo observed, trying to get his mind off the guy that was not sitting there with him.

Kris looked unsure about the statement and said, “Thanks?”

“No, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out what would compel you to hook up with Baekhyun of all people.”

“Wow, that really bothered you a lot.”

“He’s not my favorite person,” Kyungsoo admitted.

“He’s fun though,” Kris shrugged. “He’s a good time. I don’t know. My life is boring, and it’s fun to talk with him about acting and stuff. Plus, he gives really great blowjobs.”

“Literally never needed to know that.”

“What went down with you and Chanyeol?”

Kyungsoo had not been prepared for that question, but he certainly had a quick answer.

“Baekhyun.”

“Oooh,” Kris said and nodded. “I see.”

“Whatever, let’s talk more about you.”

And they did. Kyungsoo finding out more about Kris’ non-bourgeoning rap career and Kris finding out about Kyungsoo’s musical influences.

By the time they left, they were both stuffed, buzzed and in a good mood, so Kyungsoo probably should have anticipated the kiss that Kris gave him once they were outside, and naturally the proposition that followed.

“Come back to my place.”

A normal human being would have told him “okay” and rushed back in a heartbeat, but Kyungsoo’s mind couldn’t let the thought go that Chanyeol’s lips felt better on his. And instead of wanting to have fun with Kris, all Kyungsoo wanted was to call Chanyeol and tell him how much he missed him.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo told him.

“I had a feeling,” Kris said, now the one clearing his throat.

“You turned out to be a lot nicer and cooler than I expected,” Kyungsoo assured him. “I’m kinda thrown for a loop here. Um, but…”

“I’m not Chanyeol. I get it.”

“It’s so stupid. I shouldn’t even like him as much as I do.”

“You shouldn’t. He’s lame. But you can’t help who you like.”

“I wish I could. Thanks for dinner, and all of this actually. I had fun.”

“Me too. Maybe if he screws up enough and you’re really done with him, we can do it again.”

“Yeah. I’ll keep you posted. Can I still get your SoundCloud link?”

Kris smiled and then nodded.

“I’ll text it to you.”

“Thanks. Seriously, for everything, thanks.”

“Yeah, drive safe,” Kris said, putting up a hand in goodbye as he walked the opposite direction to his own car.

When Kyungsoo got home, Jongin looked at him with disappointment.

“Was he that much of a douchebag?” Jongin asked, as Kyungsoo brought him over the leftover enchiladas.

“No, he was actually quite nice,” Kyungsoo told him, grabbing him a fork from the kitchen then sitting beside him.

“Then why are you back before midnight?”

“Because I still like Chanyeol.”

“Soo…”

“I know. I’m a stupid boy. I don’t care. I guess I need more time or something before I can really start giving other people a fair chance.”

“Or you could try and work things out with Chanyeol.”

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin surprised by the suggestion from the guy that never had liked them together.

“Are you being nice because I just gave you really good enchiladas?”

“No, but I hate seeing you like this, and unfortunately Chanyeol always made you walk around with a smile and stuff, so if that’s the case, then you should go work things out with him.”

“How do I work this out with him? As long as Baekhyun is in his life, it can’t be worked out.”

“Anything can be worked out. I happen to know that in the time you guys haven’t been seeing each other, Chanyeol has not hooked up with Baekhyun. And you know he misses you too.”

Kyungsoo had been wondering about that. He did his best to avoid him at the restaurant, and when he did see him, Chanyeol always looked focused on his job, being cheery to his customers, then serious when cleaning up or doing side work. It actually hurt Kyungsoo to see him like that.

So maybe he did need to talk with Chanyeol and assess things. And maybe they could try again, or at least work something out. He was tired of feeling lonely, and he was tired of not sharing fun and peaceful intimate moments with the stupid big giant bartender. How much easier it would have been to fall for the graphic designer/rapper/actor/trivia night douchebag.


	16. B.L.A.T.

Jongdae felt like he was the last to know everything, so when Chanyeol came in for his shift, Jongdae flat out asked him, “Did you hear about Kyungsoo going on a date with the trivia guy?”

Chanyeol’s face made it clear that he had before he even answered, “Yeah.”

“What are you going to do about that?”

“What am I supposed to do about it?” Chanyeol asked, as he assessed how many customers they had at the bar.

“Are you really not going to try and work things out with him?” Jongdae looked at the screen to see a few new drink orders coming in and grabbed a glass to start filling.

“I’m trying to give him his space,” Chanyeol reasoned, jumping on the next order to help Jongdae out.

This didn’t sound like the Chanyeol he knew, and he studied him for a moment then let it go, wondering if Chanyeol had really given up. He’d seen him give up on something once before, but that time it was very warranted.

Jongdae dropped the subject, but his mind kept thinking about this conundrum. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo should be together. Kyungsoo had seemed to be interested in trying someone else out. That person had been Kris. What if Kris took Baekhyun out instead? Wait, what if Baekhyun and Kris dated for real? What if Jongdae tried to find someone to take Baekhyun off Chanyeol’s hands completely? Jongdae smiled at this thought and happily dropped off drinks at the end of the bar to be picked up by their respective servers.

When he finally got his break, he headed to the kitchen to attack the bacon, lettuce, avocado, tomato sandwich that Chanyeol had requested for them to share. He’d be getting off his shift soon, leaving the rest of the night in Chanyeol’s capable hands, but first he needed to get something in his stomach before it started growling louder than the classic Bon Jovi song that was blaring through the restaurant.

“Hey, Heechul, got a sec?” Jongdae asked as he took a huge bite of one of the sandwiches. The bacon was crisper than how Kyungsoo made it, but it wasn’t Heechul’s worst attempt.

“What’s up?” He asked, looking at him as he plated his order and looked at him through the window.

“You and Baekhyun get along really well, right? Like you really like him?”

Heechul smiled and nodded, “He’s my favorite person in this whole restaurant.”

“I got that impression,” Jongdae said feeling hopeful. “Have you ever considered, you know, actually dating him?”

“Baekhyun?”

Had they switched the topic? Why was Heechul like this?

“Yeah,” Jongdae said, and finished a wedge of the B.L.A.T. then grabbed his second one.

“Oh, no not really,” he shrugged.

“Why not?”

“I’m not really into that whole commitment thing. I feel like that’s something that I might be into later in life, but not right now. I like being young and free.”

“Aren’t you in your thirties?”

“Well, there you go. I’m meant to be single and free. I just like having fun, you know?”

Jongdae sighed in defeat and headed back toward the bar while eating the rest of his sandwich and thinking that Baekhyun deserved better than Heechul anyway.

When trivia night came back around, Jongdae tried his luck again, intercepting Kris as he walked into the establishment.

“Hey, got a minute?” Jongdae asked him.

“Sure, what’s up?” Kris asked, putting his bag on the bar and asking him if he could have a Coke.

Jongdae poured him one then gave him a smile and said, “So, you went on a date with Kyungsoo.”

“I see I’ve made the gossip rounds. Don’t worry, nothing happened.”

“I don’t need to know,” Jongdae waved off. “The thing is, previous to that you had hooked up with Baekhyun. Have you considered taking him out on a real date instead?”

“Baekhyun?”

Was he saying his name wrong? Why did people keep asking him for confirmation?

“Yeah. Baekhyun.”

“Uh… no. Why? Does he want me to?”

“No, I mean, I’m just wondering if you would, since you asked someone else out.”

“Not really,” Kris said, looking at Jongdae suspiciously. Jongdae didn’t blame him. He thought this was weird too, but he was trying to help. “I mean, he’s fun and everything, but he doesn’t really seem like the kind of guy you’d date.”

“Why not? He’s totally dateable.”

“Then you should date him.”

“No, you’re missing the point,” Jongdae sighed. “Never mind. Have a good trivia night.”

“Thanks,” Kris said, still looking a bit dubious, but grabbing his bag and heading toward the kitchen, probably to say hi to Kyungsoo or something.

Jongdae looked over to where Chanyeol stood, not too far from him, watching as Kris headed to the kitchen.

“Do something about it,” Jongdae told him as he went to stand next to him. “The more time passes, the harder it’s going to be.”

“I will,” Chanyeol said. “I can’t take this anymore.”

“Neither can I,” Jongdae admitted, patting his shoulder before heading to help a customer.

So maybe he couldn’t find anyone that would date Baekhyun, but if Chanyeol was going to try and get Kyungsoo back, then maybe Chanyeol would try extra hard this time to not cave into Baekhyun again. At least Jongdae hoped because he was running out of ideas on how to help both of his friends out.


	17. Chili Burger

Chanyeol hurried into the kitchen just in time to see what was blatant flirting on Kris’s part and a smile from Kyungsoo that should have been for him. Wait, Kris was making Kyungsoo smile? Even worse, he was making him smile like that? While he was on the line? Was he too late?

“I can’t right now,” Kyungsoo was saying to Kris, smiling at him as he put plates in the window. “I’ll come find you during my break and let you know what I thought.”

“I will pause trivia for you,” Kris told him smiling back, and Chanyeol almost gagged.

“Chanyeol, why are you back here?” Minseok asked him, walking into the kitchen to help expedite.

“I’m waiting on a Chili Burger,” Chanyeol stated and Kyungsoo looked at him then looked away, returning to the line.

“Kris, why are you back here?” Minseok then asked, as he inspected the plates to make sure they were ready and everything was to order.

“I was just getting a snack.”

“I’ll bring it out to you,” Minseok told him grabbing two plates, “You know you’re not supposed to be back here.”

“I know I know,” Kris said, shouldering his backpack again and throwing a smile at Kyungsoo who had looked over his shoulder to smile at him and say bye.

This sucked. Tonight sucked, and at that moment, Chanyeol felt that maybe he should let Kyungsoo ride off into the sunset with Kris instead. But then he watched him, and watched him move, flipping burgers and swirling something in a pan, and then he was back at the window as he assembled his dish, and Chanyeol just… missed him.

Chanyeol took two long steps to stand so he could see him between the shelves of plates and watched him.

Kyungsoo looked up, looked down at his plate, put the plate in the window, and asked, “Can I help you?”

“I’m just waiting on a Chili Burger.”

“It’s coming up,” Kyungsoo said, turning back around to check on the food.

“Why are you still in here?” Minseok asked coming back.

“Still waiting on a Chili Burger.”

“I’ll bring it out to you. Jongdae needs help at the bar. It’s packed over there.”

“It’s coming right up.”

Minseok looked at him with suspicion and then looked over the new items that had been placed on the shelves, handing them off to Seulgi and Jongin as they came in to get their customers’ food.

“Kyungsoo, how’s that Chili Burger coming?” Minseok called out to him.

“There’s four orders in front of it,” Kyungsoo called out.

“Chanyeol…”

“Okay,” Chanyeol said before Minseok could finish, and he left the kitchen long enough for Minseok to leave it, and then he popped back in and went to the window, finding Kyungsoo plating another dish.

“It’s not ready yet,” he said.

“Do you like Kris?”

“What?” Kyungsoo looked at him like he couldn’t seriously be asking him this question at this particular time in the middle of a dinner rush.

“Do you like Kris?” Chanyeol asked again, crossing his arms as he stood there.

“I don’t have time for this,” Kyungsoo stated.

“I miss you.”

Kyungsoo stopped what he was doing and looked up at him, maybe a bit surprised, but definitely attentive.

“I miss you,” Chanyeol said again. “We need to work this out. I hate not seeing you, or even talking to you.”

“If there isn’t a Chili Burger in your hands…,” Minseok said as he walked in.

“We’ll talk later,” Kyungsoo told him. “Go before you get fired.”

Chanyeol had no choice but to leave the kitchen, and while he did his best to not count down the minutes to when he and Kyungsoo could talk, having to wait did give him a chance to think about what he was going to say to him. Who knew what kind of magic Kris had worked on him that Chanyeol would now need to counteract. He thought maybe they should go for some late night coffee at a diner, and he could spoil him by buying him different desserts to butter him up.

Or maybe he could convince him to come back to his place so he could play him some songs he had written while they had been taking a break from each other. Then again that might be too pathetic. In fact, he was sure he should delete those songs before anyone heard him singing about how he missed Kyungsoo’s heart-shaped lips and the way the top row of his teeth were always on full display when he laughed. He made a mental note to delete them when he got home.

When their shifts were over, Chanyeol made sure to stand by the time clock so that he caught Kyungsoo as he clocked out, and as he saw him approach, he went ahead and clocked out himself.

“I assumed you meant we could talk tonight,” Chanyeol explained to him.

“That’s fine,” Kyungsoo told him as he clocked out as well.

“I was thinking we could go to a diner.”

“I’d rather not be around food right now.”

“Oh, makes sense. Um…”

“Let’s go to your place.”

Even better! Chanyeol couldn’t have wished for a better outcome to the night.

He may have sped and ran a red light in his efforts to get home before Kyungsoo got there, needing to make sure that he picked up and had nothing too embarrassing lying around. He couldn’t believe Kyungsoo had suggested coming over, and now that he was done picking up, he felt nervous about it, but the nervousness would have to wait as there was a knock on the door.

Chanyeol let Kyungsoo in and smiled at him, asking if he wanted a beer or anything to drink.

“Water,” Kyungsoo said, making himself at home as he took his shoes off by the door and took a seat on the couch, tucking one leg under the other as he sat at an angle, as if anticipating the conversation.

Chanyeol brought them both waters and sat on the couch, facing toward him, and he was about to start when Kyungsoo beat him to it.

“I miss you too,” Kyungsoo said.

“Let’s start over,” Chanyeol suggested.

“I don’t want to start over,” Kyungsoo told him, and Chanyeol’s heart fell a little, but then he continued, “I want us to pick up from where we left off and try again.”

“I want that too,” Chanyeol nodded emphatically in agreement.

“I don’t want to compete with Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol blinked and let those words process in his brain and then shook his head.

“You don’t have to.”

“We both know that’s not true. It doesn’t matter what I do, or what happens, he’s there, and he always makes sure we know he’s there. I don’t understand your relationship, but it’s clear he’s not over you, and the fact that you hook up with him and make excuses for him tells me you’re not over him.”

“That’s not true at all,” Chanyeol told him, hoping he believed him.

“It has to be true. Nothing else makes sense.”

Chanyeol had never really told Kyungsoo anything about his relationship with Baekhyun. It had never really come up since Kyungsoo hadn’t seemed interested in knowing. The few times he’d mention something related to his ex-boyfriend, it was a superficial-level sort of thing that didn’t require much thought or discussion.

Maybe that had been part of the problem between him and Kyungsoo.

“I guess I can see why you would think that,” Chanyeol said carefully, eyeing his glass of water before putting it down on the coffee table and looking back at Kyungsoo. “Baekhyun and I are very complicated.”

“Yes, I know. You always say that,” Kyungsoo dismissed, putting his glass of water down as well.

“No, you don’t know.” Chanyeol took a deep breath and tried to think about how to tell him about things that Chanyeol himself never liked to think about. “I guess it makes the most sense to start at the beginning.”

And that’s what he did.

He started at the very beginning, and Chanyeol’s memories played out in his mind as if they had just happened yesterday.

“I purposely didn’t join a frat so I could avoid these types of parties,” Chanyeol had told Jongdae as they attended a frat house party that another fellow music major had told them about.

“I’m still not sure why he invited us,” Jongdae said, holding his red plastic cup as he eyed the crowd. “I’m still not sure why we came.”

“Because we wanted the full college experience,” Chanyeol reminded him.

“I think I get the gist of this part. We can leave now,” Jongdae said, drinking his beer in an effort to finish it so they could leave.

And Chanyeol was about to join Jongdae in the chugging, but just as he put his cup up to the lips, he noticed the cute boy that had laughed loudly at something as he started moving his hips to a beat that didn’t quite match up to the one that was playing.

“Okay, I’m done,” Jongdae announced. “Let’s go.”

Chanyeol didn’t move. He brought his cup down slowly as he continued to watch the life of the party do funny dance moves for the enjoyment of his captive audience.

“Who is that?” Chanyeol asked Jongdae.

“How would I know? Someone very drunk and off beat?”

Their friend that had invited them happen to walk by at that moment and Chanyeol grabbed him by the sleeve to pull him over and ask, “Who is that?”

“Oh,” the guy said laughing, “That’s Baekhyun. He’s funny. Theater major. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Chanyeol said, letting go of the guy’s sleeve. “Is he in your frat with you?”

“Yeah. He’s great.”

“Is he seeing anyone?”

“Not that I know of. Wait. Why?”

“No reason,” Chanyeol said, clearing his throat.

“So, we’re not leaving this party?” Jongdae asked. “I’m going to need another beer.”

Chanyeol hadn’t been quite sure how to approach Baekhyun, which was impressive since Chanyeol was a pretty social guy, but he was a little intimidated by the frat guy that seemed to be everyone’s friend.

Lucky for him, he didn’t end up having to.

“You keep staring at me,” Baekhyun himself said, staring at him over the rim of his own red Solo cup after approaching the couch that Chanyeol and Jongdae had taken over.

“I think everyone’s staring at you,” Chanyeol pointed out.

Baekhyun had smirked at that and then taken the liberty to sit on the arm of the couch, placing his feet on the cushion, right next to Chanyeol’s thigh as he faced him.

“I’m Baekhyun,” he said with a smile.

“I heard,” Chanyeol said, then cleared his throat and said, “I’m Chanyeol. This is my roommate Jongdae.”

“Hi,” Jongdae said with a slightly buzzed wave.

“Hi, Chanyeol. Hi, Jongdae. What year are you guys?”

“We’re sophomores,” Chanyeol said. “You?”

“Sophomore,” Baekhyun nodded. “Weird that we haven’t seen each other around yet.”

“It’s a big school,” Chanyeol pointed out. “And we have different majors. Theater, right? We’re Music majors.”

“Oh, sweet,” Baekhyun said. “I considered double majoring in Theater and Music, but decided to stick with one to start.”

Now Chanyeol’s curiosity had been beyond piqued, and he spent the rest of the party asking Baekhyun all of the important questions: favorite singers, favorite bands, favorite genre, top ten songs, best concerts he’d been to, and so on, and by the end of the night, they were making out in Baekhyun’s dorm room, not able to get enough of each other as they laughed and talked in between make-out sessions, having found themselves their own little world.

Chanyeol let out another big sigh as he paused in his storytelling to take a drink of water.

“The thing is,” Chanyeol explained to Kyungsoo, “We were both very social people. So being together made sense. I always had fun when I was with him. He’s really good at that. He likes to entertain, so he goes out of his way to make you laugh if you’re having a bad day, or make you smile if you’re lost in your thoughts for too long. He has a gift for it. And our first year together was amazing in that way. We’d go clubbing a lot, or to parties, or out to eat with a big group of friends, and it was fun. It was always fun. Until it wasn’t.”

Chanyeol shook his head, hating these memories the most, but Kyungsoo was a very captive audience, and he had to continue his story.

“It wasn’t noticeable at first,” Chanyeol said, playing with his fingers, “It was little things that could be easily dismissed. Oh, he just had a bad day and needed to be alone. Or, he’s really withdrawn, but maybe he’s worried about an upcoming exam. Just things that seemed normal for most people, even if not for him. It wasn’t until senior year that I finally started thinking there might be an actual problem. That’s when he started getting defensive and impatient about things, which was definitely not part of his character. We started arguing a lot and would fight about nothing at all. I knew something was wrong, so I finally brought it up to Jongdae, who thankfully agreed with me, and the two of us sat him down one day and confronted him about it.”

Chanyeol hated that memory so much. He still remembered the way Baekhyun looked at them both, not knowing what they were going to say to him, but aware that it had probably something to do with his recent behavior.

“Jongdae and I have been talking,” Chanyeol had begun and Baekhyun had thrown a slight glare at Jongdae before looking back at him. “And we’re really scared for you right now. You’re not acting like yourself, and you’re obviously very upset about something, and we don’t know how to help.”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun had said, “I’m just stressed.”

“About what?” Chanyeol asked him.

And Baekhyun’s face had gone blank for a moment before he admitted, “I don’t know.”

“We think you should see someone,” Chanyeol blurted out before he chickened out of saying it, and the look of betrayal on Baekhyun’s face had been expected.

“Baek,” Jongdae had said, “We’re just really worried about you. Just talk to someone about it and see if they can help. Maybe they can give you tips on handling the stress.”

“I’ll personally go with you,” Chanyeol said. “You don’t have to do any of this alone. Just please. Don’t you want to feel better and be happy again?”

It hadn’t been easy, but by the end of the night, they had managed to convince Baekhyun to make an appointment with the school’s mental health center, and Chanyeol had spent the night with him, holding Baekhyun, giving him tender kisses, and assuring him that everything would be fine.

True to his word, Chanyeol went with him and sat in the waiting room, ready to be there for him when he came out of his first appointment.

“At first they didn’t really explain anything to him,” Chanyeol told Kyungsoo, who now sat closer to him, staring at him intently with his brows furrowed. “They just told him he needed to come back again, and again, and again. But finally, one day, they gave him a diagnosis and prescriptions for medication. And he handled it remarkably well. I think he was relieved to know there was an actual explanation at that point, and a hope. So he started taking his medication, and slowly, things got okay again.”

Chanyeol paused to think through what happened next as he rubbed his hand over his knee in circles.

“Right before graduation, we had decided we were all going to get a place together. So we got our two-bedroom place, the one Dae and Baek still live in now, and Baek and I shared the master bedroom and Dae had the other room to himself. And that went fine. I got the job at Barry’s because I needed the cash for a bunch of equipment I wanted to buy, trying to get my music career off the ground now that I could devote myself to it. Baek and Dae took some time off to try and get auditions for things, but then realized they were running out of money, so I hooked them up with jobs at Barry’s too.”

Chanyeol paused again and chewed on his lower lip, not sure how to explain what happened next.

“I guess I was naïve. I guess I thought that since he had medicine and a therapist, that things wouldn’t go back to being bad again. But the thing is, Baek’s not supposed to party like he does when he takes his medication. He’s not even really supposed to be drinking at all, much less getting high or fucking around with whatever gets passed around when he’s hanging out with people. So naturally, since he never stopped doing those things, the meds just didn’t work as well as they should have or they exacerbated the problem. Who knows? All I know is that I’d come home from a shift and find him curled up on the floor staring off into space, or I’d find him crying for no reason and not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. And slowly his frustrations came back.”

Chanyeol had to stop to squeeze his eyes shut, his emotions beginning to well up. He took several deep breaths and continued, knowing he had to finish this story quick before it turned him into a mess.

“It just all got worse. And I tried. I did. I tried to be the best boyfriend in the world to him. I tried to come up with ways to help. A lot of that time, I felt that I had just failed him. Like I wasn’t doing the right things to help, or that maybe I was part of the problem. I thought a lot about how he would probably be happier and better with someone who was strong enough to be with him. I should have told him ‘no’ when he wanted to hit up a bar, and I should have come up with clever ways to keep him home and do something fun instead, but I found that I just wasn’t good at saying ‘no’ to him because then he would lash out at me. So one day, I spent hours in Dae’s room talking to him about how I just couldn’t do it anymore, and Dae was supportive and told me that if I felt I needed to walk away, then I should.”

Chanyeol sniffled, the tears welling in his eyes.

“And I should have at that moment, but I didn’t. I didn’t have the heart to. Baekhyun was going through so much, and I didn’t want to leave him to go through it alone, so I kept hoping he’d just get better at some point. But then one day, in the middle of yet another argument in our bedroom, he threw a tantrum and in the process threw his phone at me. And that was the moment I knew that I just couldn’t do it anymore. So I told him I was done. And he asked me what I meant. And I told him again that I was done. Jongdae had come rushing in around then, having heard the commotion, and when I turned to grab my duffel bag from the closet, Jongdae had to run over to Baekhyun to hold him, because he could sense it wouldn’t end well. But I really was done. And I packed up overnight clothes and grabbed my phone and keys and wallet, all while Baekhyun yelled at me asking me what I was doing. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore, and that it was over between us. And I don’t know if it was the actor in him or his issues, but he broke down. He broke down hard. I’ll never get that image out of my mind, of him yelling at me to not leave him, and telling me he was sorry as he bawled, falling to his knees in the process and just telling me he was sorry over and over. By the time I left the room, he had caved in on himself and was crying in the fetal position, sobbing to Jongdae to not let me leave.”

And that was as far as Chanyeol could get before he broke down completely himself, dropping his head into his hands as his shoulders shuddered.

Kyungsoo cradled him, pulling him into his chest, and letting him cry, which Chanyeol was incredibly grateful for at that moment.

When he was able to pull himself together again, he wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand and looked at Kyungsoo, whose own eyes seemed to be glistening as he looked at him.

“It’s guilt that keeps me from saying no to him,” Chanyeol explained, knowing he needed to tell Kyungsoo the absolute truth. “I feel I caused him an insane amount of pain when I left him. He quit Barry’s after I broke up with him. Or more like, he didn’t show up for his shifts and got fired. Jongdae had to give me the all clear to come get my stuff while Baekhyun was at his parents’ house. He had to live with them for a couple of weeks while he got himself together and worked through it all with his therapist. He’s charismatic, so he was able to get his job back with a smile and a promise that he’d never pull a stunt like that again. It was maybe a few weeks after that when we started talking at work again. And he was doing a lot better. And soon after that we were at someone’s house after work, hanging out and drinking, and he made a move on me, and I felt that guilt return of hurting him, so I gave him what he wanted because it made him happy. All I ever wanted was to see him happy.”

Chanyeol sniffed hard again and wiped more tears from his face.

“Only Dae knows all that. I’ve never told anyone else about it. I have a lot of guilt about leaving Dae with that mess too, but he’s amazing and he’s been great through it all. Please don’t tell anyone about Baekhyun.”

“I won’t,” Kyungsoo said, his voice soft.

“He’s not a bad guy,” Chanyeol felt the need to defend. “Everything I told you makes it sounds like he was this horrible boyfriend, but that’s not what it was. He’s actually a really great person, and when he’s taking care of himself properly, he’s this genuinely positive guy that likes to make people happy. That’s the real Baekhyun, but in the whole time you’ve been working at the restaurant, I don’t think you’ve gotten to know him like that. He’s this weird hybrid right now of who he can be but isn’t because he keeps partying when he shouldn’t be. But like Dae’s told me a thousand times, it’s not my problem anymore, except I keep making it my problem. I know this is my fault.”

“I don’t think it’s your fault,” Kyungsoo told him and Chanyeol wanted to hear him say that but wasn’t sure if he deserved it. “I think it’s exactly like you said – complicated.”

“All I want is for Baekhyun to be happy and find someone who makes him happy so he can leave me alone so that I can be with you in what I know would be a happy, somewhat normal, relationship with someone that really makes me happy.”

“I want that for you too,” Kyungsoo said, running his fingers over Chanyeol’s cheek as he looked at him. “Let’s just go back to what we were doing, and we’ll figure it out as we go along.”

“I would love that,” Chanyeol said, almost crying again in relief, but Kyungsoo stopped him with a soft kiss, his lips caressing his as Kyungsoo held the side of his face, so gently that Chanyeol would have melted and swooned had he not been a teary, sad mess.

It helped his psyche to hold Kyungsoo in his arms that night, just cuddling and keeping each other warm, and kissing every now and then, but mostly just lying there and holding each other. Chanyeol needed this so much. He needed Kyungsoo in his life, and he didn’t know how, but he was going to figure out how to make sure Kyungsoo never wanted to take a break from him again.


	18. Chilaquiles

Baekhyun was surprised to see that his regular was at his usual table on a morning since he only tended to come by at night for dinner. He was even more surprised to see he had two people with him. Yixing always dined alone. He wondered if maybe it was a special occasion since lord knew their breakfast wasn’t all that great.

“Hey, Xing,” Baekhyun greeted him with a smile. “You do exist in the mornings,” he joked with a laugh as he passed menus around to his friends.

“Yeah, we’re working on a big project, but we decided to take a brunch break,” Yixing said with a smile and motioning toward the man and woman who sat with him.

“Breaks are always good. Especially when you’re stuck working on a Saturday,” Baekhyun agreed. “What do you guys want to drink this morning? A Hoegaarden is a perfectly acceptable breakfast drink option, by the way.”

Yixing gave a small laugh, but shook his head. “I think we’re going to do the bottomless mimosas.”

“You got it,” Baekhyun said, off to input their order in the computer.

Sehun stepped over to him from the host stand he was only half paying attention to, drinking an iced coffee and looking pouty.

“What’s wrong, Sehunnie?” Baekhyun asked, giving him a pout in return in sympathy.

“Junmyeon walked by the host stand twice so far and still hasn’t said ‘hi’ to me.”

“Aww, what a jerk,” Baekhyun said shaking his head.

“He really doesn’t know I exist. I just want a ‘hi’ or something every now and then. Guys notice you all the time. What’s your secret?”

“I shake my ass a lot,” Baekhyun told him, and he did a little hip shake to the old Journey song blaring out of the speakers and then laughed. “Don’t worry, Sehun. You’re really good looking. I’m sure he notices you all the time, but he has to keep up that whole professional thing.”

“I would be into that one,” Sehun sighed and went back to lean against the host stand, drinking his iced coffee and contemplating his life as people sat themselves.

Baekhyun pat him on the shoulder as he walked by him then made his table rounds, spotting Junmyeon speaking with some customers. He waited for him to finish then bounced over to him with a big smile.

“You need to say ‘hi’ to Sehun. How dare you walk by him twice today and not even say ‘hi’? I’ve been watching you.”

“I need Sehun to do his job,” Junmyeon told him, looking over at the host stand.

“He was trained by Yeri. It was like the blind leading the blind. He had no hope. Hey, maybe you should go train him.”

“It’s a Saturday morning. We’re a little busy for that.”

“I’m just saying, the next time you walk by him, say ‘hi,’ give him a smile, and give him a task. Trust me.”

“Don’t you have tables?”

Baekhyun laughed and went to check back up on Yixing and his friends.

“Let me guess, breakfast tacos?”

“I considered it,” Yixing said with a bigger smile this time, clearly having fun enjoying his mimosa with his friends. Baekhyun thought his dimples were super cute and definitely fit him. “But I think we’ve all decided on the chilaquiles.”

“Great choice,” Baekhyun told him. “That happens to be my favorite thing on our breakfast menu.”

“Oh good,” Yixing’s female friend said.

“Let me get you guys a new carafe and I’ll get your order going,” he told them, noticing they had gone through that first bottle pretty quick.

Soon after, he headed to the kitchen to get his orders that were ready, bumping into Jongin who had just clocked in for his afternoon shift.

“You’re in a good mood,” Jongin observed as he tucked his T-shirt into his jeans.

“My regular has friends. It’s the cutest thing. I really thought he was a workaholic loner, but nope, he has legitimate friends.”

“Maybe he pays them,” Jongin joked.

“You’re terrible. No, they’re his real friends. Or co-workers. But I have a feeling that in his world, that’s the same thing.”

Jongin looked around and then looked back at Baekhyun and said, “Did you happen to hear the news?”

Yes he had. Jongdae had told him just the day before, and he honestly didn’t know how he felt about it.

“Yeah, good for them,” Baekhyun shrugged, looking at the orders in the window and grabbing what belonged to his table.

When Jongdae had told him that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were seeing each other again, Baekhyun felt sad. It was a simple sadness. The kind that didn’t leave him stressed or angry or frustrated, but just simply sad. And then he felt a resolve well up in him. Chanyeol had had ample opportunity to get back with Baekhyun in the time that him and Kyungsoo had taken a break. But he hadn’t.

Baekhyun had tried to talk to Chanyeol and joke with him and get him to go out with him, but Chanyeol had kept making excuses and telling him “not tonight.”

He realized that their last time may have really been their last time, and instead of freaking out about it, he had decided to ignore it. So that’s what he was doing. Ignoring it all.

When it was time for him to clock out, it was Chanyeol’s time to clock in, and it pained Baekhyun to see Chanyeol tense up at the sight of him, as if knowing that he knew and expecting Baekhyun to confront him about it. But Baekhyun stayed true to his resolve, and he clocked out and walked right by him without acknowledging him. Ignoring him was the only way he was going to get through this until he figured something out.


	19. Cobb Salad

Kyungsoo had a new dilemma.

Being back with Chanyeol felt right, and he was enjoying every moment of their reconnection, but with all that he had learned, he realized he now didn’t know how to act around Baekhyun.

He couldn’t give away that he knew very private things about his mental health, but it didn’t feel right to him to continue to be mean to him, or even dismissive. This was the dilemma he currently faced as he grilled up strips of bacon for the Cobb Salad that the salad line had prepared and left for him in front of the window.

“When you were hooking up with Tao last night,” Seulgi said to Baekhyun as they came in to get their orders, “You didn’t happen to mention to him that he should come to work or anything did you?”

“He worked lunch the other day,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“I’m so tired of covering for him,” she said with an annoyed tone. “He owes me big time.”

“I’ll let him know next time,” Baekhyun said with a laugh.

Kyungsoo turned around and added the bacon to the Cobb Salad, trying to not make eye contact with Baekhyun as he put it in the window.

It seemed Baekhyun had the same strategy, because within seconds, he grabbed the salad and his two other plates and left without ever looking at Kyungsoo.

Well that made things simpler.

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol coordinated to take their break at the same time, and while Kyungsoo hadn’t had a plan in mind and figured they’d just eat in a back booth at the restaurant, Chanyeol took his hand after they had clocked out and led him out the back, holding his hand as he led him toward the tapas restaurant a block over.

“Is this a date?” Kyungsoo asked him with an amused smile.

“Yes,” Chanyeol said with a nod and a satisfied smile.

“You really don’t have to feel threatened by Kris,” Kyungsoo snickered.

“Of course I do. Kris Wu looks like a trivia god, somehow taller than me and with proportional ears.”

Kyungsoo laughed at Chanyeol’s ridiculousness and nudged his arm with his shoulder.

“I happen to think you’re better looking,” he assured his disproportionately-eared whatever he was.

“I’m definitely better looking, but you have a thing for tall, so I can’t be sure.”

“You have a thing for short.”

“I do,” Chanyeol said, opening the door for them to walk inside.

The tapas place had a large lounge area, more a living room with a big bar than a restaurant, and he found them the perfect sized couch for them to sit close together as they looked over the options on the menu. They ordered about six small plates to share between them and then Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo and pulled him close, which Kyungsoo very much melted into.

“Hm, you smell like burgers,” Chanyeol commented.

“You smell like beer,” Kyungsoo told him with a little chuckle.

“We smell great together,” Chanyeol said with a laugh.

“Why are we like this?” Kyungsoo said laughing as well.

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol replied, and they both laughed even harder.

Their server brought their plates out as each one was ready, knowing they had a short amount of time before they had to run back to work.

“So here’s my question,” Kyungsoo asked, as he happily tackled the small plate in front of him. “You have a thing for singers, and you have a thing for short people. Why didn’t you ever date Jongdae?”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol said, looking a bit confused himself as he thought about it. “We got along really great when we first met and became instant friends. I definitely thought he was cute, but I don’t know. He always felt more like a friend to me than someone I’d want to hook up with. His voice is so crazy though. I’d marry his voice for sure.”

“It’s probably because he seems sensible and that was too boring for you at the time.”

“Maybe. Are you saying you’re not sensible?” Chanyeol smirked.

“No, after Baekhyun you definitely wanted sensible. That’s why you picked me.”

“I’m not sure about that.”

“Although, maybe Jongdae isn’t as sensible as he seems considering the mess he’s in.”

“No, he’s still sensible,” Chanyeol said, and paused to chew on a chicken empanada Kyungsoo had just fed to him. “He’s just caught up, and he’ll land on his feet when it’s all said and done. He’s someone I don’t have to worry about, which I really love him for.”

“Do you think he’s going to end up getting hurt?” Kyungsoo asked, and he genuinely felt concern about this. Jongdae seemed like a nice and good person who didn’t really deserve to be hurt, though Kyungsoo’s perception of this may have been deepened by learning about how much he had to put up with dealing with Baekhyun’s issues.

“He’s definitely going to end up getting hurt,” Chanyeol said, letting the server know that they’d need their bill soon. “He knows it. He’s just trying to enjoy it while it lasts. I told him there are tons of married men in the world he can jump around to each time one ends it.”

“You’re a bad friend,” Kyungsoo said, shoving the rest of what was on his plate into his mouth and watching as Chanyeol paid the bill, the server having given them a nice discount in exchange for one at Barry’s next time he came in.

They walked hand-in-hand again back to work, and Kyungsoo thought about how this might have been his most favorite day ever at work. He wanted to believe that this would eventually lead to what they both wanted – to be each other’s boyfriend. And part of him wanted to tell Chanyeol that they should just do it, but deep down inside, he knew the Baekhyun thing was still a problem, so he decided he’d give it a little longer.


	20. Mac and Cheese with Jalapeño and Bacon

Jongdae woke up to kisses on his bare chest, and he stretched his arms over his head and yawned, laughing as Minseok tickled his nipple with his tongue.

“Good morning to you too,” Jongdae told him, reaching his hand down to run his fingers through Minseok’s hair.

“We overslept, but I liked watching you sleep so I didn’t wake you,” Minseok explained, dropping another kiss on his chest.

“You woke me now.”

“Only because we have less than ten minutes to check out.”

“Shit,” Jongdae said, scrambling to get up so he could at least wipe himself down and freshen up in record time before throwing his clothes on and making sure he had everything.

Their hotel rendezvous were happening regularly now, and while at first Jongdae had been a bit unsure, now he looked forward to them, enjoying the feeling of not having to rush, and getting to sleep in each other’s arms, and of course, waking up together, sometimes with enough time to spare for another go round before they had to check out.

Jongdae did feel a bit guilty about Minseok always paying for it, so as they checked out, he offered to chip in for the room, which Jongdae knew was not cheap thanks to their location.

“Don’t worry about it,” Minseok said, handing over his debit card to the front desk clerk. “Besides, I know how much you don’t get paid.”

Jongdae responded with a loud whine, but he was right.

“Whatever,” Jongdae threw back, “You can’t be doing much better as a manager at Barry’s. I refuse to believe you’re making that much money.”

Minseok signed the receipt, and then shouldered his duffel bag.

“I make enough to cover our room,” Minseok said with an amused smile. “I only work this job to make my own money on the side anyway, and to bring in some extra spending money while… well, anyway, don’t worry, I’ve got it covered.”

“Okay,” Jongdae said quickly, knowing that he had been about to bring up his husband and knowing that would kill the mood quicker than anything.

Minseok rarely spoke to Jongdae about Luhan, and the few insights he had gotten into their relationship had been through phone conversations he’d overheard or random things he’d hear him tell Junmyeon or Irene about him. One of the only things he had ever told him is that he travels a lot for his work, and that it was part of the reason why they had decided to have an open relationship, so that neither of them ever got too lonely.

“I’ll see you tonight at work,” Minseok told him as they approached their cars, and he stopped to give Jongdae a kiss, which Jongdae was more than happy to return.

He arrived home, ready to be a bum until he had to go to work in a few hours, but instead he walked in to Baekhyun talking very loudly on his phone as he lay on the couch with his feet up against the wall.

“Oh, hey, Dae just got home. I’ll call you later,” Baekhyun hung up and righted himself into a sitting position. “Hey, you’re home!”

“Hey, I am,” Jongdae said, going to the kitchen to get himself some water.

“Guess who I was on the phone with?” Baekhyun said, bouncing over to him.

“Your agent?”

“No, but good guess. Kibum!”

Jongdae paused his water drinking and blinked, staring at Baekhyun.

“Crazy, right?” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “Anyway, he’s throwing a huge party at his brand new place and he called to invite us.”

Jongdae thought that Baekhyun hooking back up with Tao was the worst news he was going to get all week. He was wrong.

“How nice of him,” Jongdae said, returning to drinking his water.

“It’s going to be fun.”

“When is it?”

“In a couple of weeks.”

Well that would certainly give Jongdae time to mentally prepare.

Since Baekhyun didn’t have to work that night, Jongdae rolled in by himself, clocking in and spotting Chanyeol bothering Kyungsoo in the kitchen.

“Question,” Jongdae said as he walked over to where Chanyeol was trying to practically stick his head through the window just to bug Kyungsoo and make him laugh.

“Oh, hey, Dae,” Chanyeol said with a big smile. “What’s up?”

“Never mind,” Jongdae said, thinking better of it. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were back doing their thing together, and Baekhyun wasn’t Chanyeol’s problem.

He went to the bar instead and tried to think through this situation. It had been bad enough that Baekhyun had started hooking up with Tao again, and Jongdae didn’t think that Kibum calling Baekhyun all of a sudden was coincidental. Back in the day, the three of them would party hard and get into all kinds of messes that even Jongdae and Chanyeol couldn’t help to clean up. When Kibum had quit, Jongdae had been optimistic, when Tao stopped showing up to work, Jongdae had felt like the happiest person in the world, but now they were both somehow back in the picture.

And then he had a thought.

During his break, he went down to the basement to see if Minseok was in the manager’s office since he hadn’t seen him on the floor. He knocked, even though the door was a bit ajar, and walked in, “Hey…” he said, and then stopped, because it wasn’t Minseok sitting there, but instead Junmyeon.

“Hey,” he started again. “I was looking for Minseok. I didn’t see him on the floor.” He knew he was explaining too much, but he had been caught off guard, and Junmyeon had an already judgmental eyebrow raised in his direction.

“Well if you need a manager, I’m here. What do you need?”

Junmyeon was always professional, almost to a fault, and previous to Jongdae’s relationship with Minseok, he had treated him in that exact professional manner that he treated everyone else. However, now, after the relationship had started, there always seemed to be an impatience added to that professionalism, as if the mere sight of Jongdae annoyed him.

“It’s okay. I can come back,” Jongdae tried, but Junmyeon seemed intent on making him feel as awkward as possible.

“If it’s a work-related matter, then I can help you with it.” Junmyeon’s gaze challenged him, as if daring him to admit that his visit had not been work-related at all.

“Right,” Jongdae said, and he cleared his throat, “Um, I was curious about why we haven’t fired Tao yet.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Tao never shows up to work, and all the servers are tired of covering his shifts for him. So I’m wondering at what point he gets let go so we can hire someone that will actually show up.”

“That’s not really any concern of yours.”

“It seems like…” Jongdae stopped himself before he could say “special treatment,” knowing that would come back to bite him in the ass really quick even though he himself never received any from Minseok. “It just seems like it’s causing a strain on the morale of the servers. And they’re really tired, working doubles and stuff.”

“They don’t have to pick up his shifts,” Junmyeon said. “Tao is part-time and he follows the rules. He always has his shifts covered, and when he does show up, he does a great job. Just because you’re sleeping with a manager doesn’t make you one.”

Jongdae froze and he knew his face showed both the shock and horror of that statement thrown in his face. He felt as if he had been punched in the chest, and he turned around and left the office without saying a word, mostly because he had been rendered speechless in mortification.

He wasn’t sure how he made it back upstairs or back to the bar, and he knew less how he made it through the rest of his shift considering he didn’t think he had stopped shaking the whole time since Junmyeon had made that comment.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Chanyeol asked him once they were shutting down, sitting across from him at the bar and putting a bowl of mac and cheese between them, handing him a fork.

“What?” Jongdae asked, grabbing the fork as he put down the towel he had been using to dry the bar area he had just wiped down.

“You wanted to tell me something earlier, and you’ve been acting off all night. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Jongdae said, shaking his head and realizing that Chanyeol had ordered the mac and cheese the way that Jongdae liked it – with jalapeño and bacon mixed in. He took a big bite and relished in the comfort it brought him, needing it more than ever. “Kyungsoo made this, didn’t he?”

“Yep,” Chanyeol said with a smile, but then he lost the smile and said, “Were you going to talk to me about Baekhyun and Tao? Because I heard.”

“It’s worse than that,” Jongdae admitted. “Kibum called him out of nowhere and asked him to a party in a couple of weeks.”

“What?”

Jongdae nodded as he ate another bite.

“Fuck,” Chanyeol said, looking away for a moment and then back at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Jongdae shrugged, not sure what the question exactly was in reference to but knowing he probably didn’t know.

“Baekhyun has been avoiding me since Kyungsoo and I started seeing each other again,” Chanyeol said, “So I guess his strategy is to get my attention by hooking up with the worst people possible.”

“I’m not even sure he’s doing it on purpose,” Jongdae thought out loud. “I just think he doesn’t know how to deal with it, so he’s looking for escapes.”

“Was Heechul not enough an escape?” Chanyeol said frustrated as he stabbed his fork into the mac and cheese. “At least Heechul’s nice to him and doesn’t need them to get high to have a good time.”

“I don’t think he was looking for nice when he chose to hook up with Tao,” Jongdae sighed, realizing he had eaten half the mac and cheese. He threw the fork in the tray to take to the kitchen, leaving the rest of the bowl for Chanyeol. “I’ll do my best to get him to not go to that party, or to meet up with Kibum at all, but it’s really not in my hands.”

“No, I know. We’ll just all keep an eye out.”

“You shouldn’t. You need to keep your focus on keeping your relationship with Kyungsoo healthy,” Jongdae reminded him as he watched Chanyeol finish what was in the bowl and then add it to the tray.

And then Chanyeol observed him for a moment, as Jongdae went back to wiping down the counter.

“How’s your relationship going?”

Jongdae stiffened a little and hesitated, then continued to wipe.

“I don’t have a relationship,” he said.

“Are things okay with you and Minseok?”

“They’re the same as always. Why?”

“I told you before that I noticed you were off. There’s Baekhyun off and then there’s non-Baekhyun off, and we covered the Baekhyun stuff, but you’re still off, so it has to be that something’s up with you and Minseok instead.”

Jongdae sighed and gave a one-armed shrug as he tried to clean off a speck of something that appeared to have been caked onto the wooden bar.

“We’re fine.”

“Doesn’t seem it.”

“How would you be able to tell?” Jongdae asked, stopping his task to look over at him. “It’s not like we can be together in front of anyone.” He shook his head, not even knowing how to explain how he felt right now about things, so he just stated the first thing he could think of that he felt. “I’m a piece of shit. I’m caught up in this man who only works this job for extra money to have fun with because his husband is out traveling around working this lucrative job that pays for both of them. You don’t even want to know the amount of money he’s spent on getting us hotel rooms to stay in. Like, imagine if you and Kyungsoo were married, and you had to travel all over the country while providing for the both of you, and while you’re gone Kyungsoo is spending money on and hooking up with Kris. There’s no way you’d really be okay with that, right?”

“I wouldn’t even let it happen,” Chanyeol confirmed.

“I’ve been thinking that Luhan isn’t okay with this,” Jongdae confessed. “There’s no way.”

“You think Minseok lied to you about the open relationship?”

“No, I just… I don’t know. I’m feeling really guilty here.”

“So end it.”

Jongdae blinked. What a simple answer. So end it.

“Maybe it’s time,” Jongdae nodded. “I’ll sleep on it.”

“Always a good option,” Chanyeol agreed, getting up from the bar stool and picking up the tray. “You know, you’re always welcome to crash at my place if you just need to get away from it all.”

“Thanks,” Jongdae smiled at him, and Chanyeol told him he’d check up on him in the morning before taking the tray with him to the kitchen.

Jongdae knew he should end this thing with Minseok, especially after being humiliated and embarrassed by Junmyeon earlier, but…

He’d sleep on it.


	21. Fried Pickles

Chanyeol had spent his day off working on ideas for new tracks that he thought Kyungsoo could slay with his vocals. He could hardly contain his excitement when Kyungsoo stopped by later that night, looking tired, smelling like grilled onions and burgers and carrying a take-out box, which Chanyeol discovered in moments held fried pickles.

“You do love me,” Chanyeol said with a big smile, dipping a pickle in ranch and making it disappear into his mouth.

“I think you can die from eating those, so obviously I don’t,” Kyungsoo said instead, placing a kiss on his cheek in greeting before taking his shoes off and making himself comfortable on Chanyeol’s couch.

“You’re just in time to hear the best songs I’ve ever come up with,” Chanyeol told him, putting the pickles on the coffee table and pulling his laptop over to his lap as he settled next to Kyungsoo.

He played him the song, glancing at him often to get his reaction and seeing him bop his head to the beat and pay close attention. It made Chanyeol’s heart leap several times and he leaned in to give Kyungsoo a kiss, a really intense kiss, okay, he was shoving his tongue down his throat, but Kyungsoo was very much reciprocating, which made Chanyeol feel tingly and excited.

He soon had both of their shirts off and his hand down the front of Kyungsoo’s jeans, and Chanyeol loved how his day off had been turning out. He knew they wouldn’t get further than hand jobs, Kyungsoo making it clear when they started up again that he was still going to wait for test results before having full on sex with him again, but Chanyeol was perfectly content doing this, and judging from how big his bulge had grown, his body was in full agreement.

After they had gotten each other off, they passed out on the couch, Chanyeol’s large frame cradling Kyungsoo tight so that neither of them went flying off the cushions.

In the midst of some weird dream involving being stuck in traffic behind a house being pulled down the freeway, Chanyeol thought he may have heard the beeping associated with an alarm, and then as his consciousness slowly returned, he realized it was the chime of his phone ringing.

Not sure who’d be calling him this late, he had the thought it could be an emergency, and he pulled himself away from Kyungsoo and picked up.

“Hello?” He said, still very much half asleep.

“Yeollie,” came Baekhyun’s very drunk voice, and Chanyeol wished he had remembered to turn his ringer off.

“What is it? I was sleeping.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up, but I was thinking about you and how I’m really sorry. Like I know Kyungsoo makes you happy, and I’m so sorry that I couldn’t make you happy. I thought I could try again, but you got back with him so I’m not getting a chance to, but I want you to smile when you see me instead of hate seeing me.”

“Baek…”

“I’m sorry you hate seeing my face now. How did it get this bad?”

Chanyeol rubbed his hand over his face and got up from the couch, slowly and as gracefully as possible to avoid waking up Kyungsoo.

“You’re drunk. Do you have a way to get home? Where are you?”

“I’m at Tao’s. I don’t even know how I got this drunk, but I couldn’t stop giggling, and then I started crying because I was thinking about how I wasn’t giggling with you.”

“I’m going to call Jongdae to pick you up.”

“No it’s okay. I can call an Uber. I just have to find my phone. I don’t know where I put it.”

“You’re on it, Baek,” Chanyeol said, rubbing his forehead, “It’s in your hand, and you’re talking into it.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, “Okay, I’ll call an Uber.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Jongdae?”

“No, he gets so upset when he sees me like this. I don’t want him to start hating me too.”

“I don’t hate you, Baek.”

“I love you.”

Chanyeol shut his eyes really hard and dropped his head against the wall in his hallway.

“You’re drunk, and you need to go home and get into bed. Promise me you’ll hang up right now and call the Uber.”

“I’m going to call them now.”

“Okay, text me when you get home to let me know you got there safe, okay?”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. For everything.”

“Just go home. Call me if there’s a problem.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol hung up.

He had to take several deep breaths before he could return to the living room, and he gently woke Kyungsoo, to tell him they should go to the bed instead.

Seeing Kyungsoo fight sleep and stumble to his room made his mood lighten again, and he guided him down to his bed with him, holding him tight and dropping feathery kisses on his face, doing his best to not let his worry about Baekhyun’s well-being at the moment pull him out of his warm and peaceful moment.


	22. Chili Cheese Fries

Drunk calling the ex had not been his finest moment, and when Baekhyun had woken up that morning, he had immediately realized what he had done and considered quitting his job. Or maybe he could start calling in replacements for him the way Tao always did. He was sure Jongin would cover his shifts.

He double-checked the schedule on his phone to see if Chanyeol would be working that night with him.

“Shit,” Baekhyun said to himself as he got the confirmation that he would, and then he felt the sudden urge to throw up, so he scrambled his way to the bathroom and threw up, then tried to pull himself together before his shift.

Later that day, when he had clocked in, he headed straight to the kitchen and was grateful to find Heechul on the line.

“Hey,” he said to him with a smile.

“Hey, Baek,” Heechul said smiling back at him, but looking a bit stressed.

“Can you make me chili cheese fries? I need really bad greasy food to soak up whatever alcohol I have in my system from last night.”

“We’re in the weeds so give us a bit to catch up and I’ll make it for you,” he said, and Baekhyun thanked him then noticed Kyungsoo coming into the kitchen.

“Thank God you’re here,” Jorge told Kyungsoo. “We need help.”

Baekhyun ducked out and went to go check his section for the evening, seeing it was quite full.

“What’s going on tonight?” Baekhyun asked Jongin.

“Three things. One, we got five surprise large parties out of nowhere. Two, a concert is happening down the street. Three, Sehun decided to start doing his job, and is actually seating people, except he’s doing it wrong and not putting anyone on wait. Good luck to us tonight.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath and mentally prepared himself for the madhouse, jumping in where Wendy had left off to take over her tables and greet his new customers.

The good thing about it being a complete, chaotic mess in there was that he had no time at all to think about anything outside of taking orders and making sure all of his customers were taken care of. By the time he was due for a break, he had forgotten all about his stress and fears of running into Chanyeol, except that when he went into the kitchen to see if he happened to have chili cheese fries waiting for him, he found that he did, but that Jongdae and Chanyeol had dug into them first.

“Hey,” Jongdae said with a smile, “Sorry, but we had to make your fries communal. They’re still too busy to make us anything. Heechul said he’d make more later if we still needed it.”

Baekhyun nodded, understanding fully well, but he didn’t think he could stand there sharing fries with Chanyeol who had looked over at him to see what he’d say. So he turned around and decided he’d just go outside and sit for a bit. A nice night was settling in, and he had burned off most of the alcohol anyway, though he still was a bit hungry. Maybe he could pop over to the Mexican place next door and get a taco if he really needed to.

The back door opened and Baekhyun looked over to see Chanyeol come out, look around and spot him.

“Why are you sitting on the ground behind our restaurant?” Chanyeol asked him, walking over with the plate of chili cheese fries.

“I just wanted some fresh air,” Baekhyun said.

And then Chanyeol sat beside him, passing him the plate and a fork.

“We left you most of it,” Chanyeol explained. “Sorry, for taking it.”

“No, I don’t care,” he waved off. “I know they’re busy back there.”

He did take the plate though and took a very much needed forkful of the chili cheesy comfort food. And then he looked at Chanyeol.

“I’m sorry for drunk dialing you last night,” Baekhyun said, “Just ignore everything I said. Except the part where I said I was sorry because I am sorry. But everything else you can ignore.”

“Why are you hanging out with Tao?”

Baekhyun shrugged and ate another bite.

“He’s not good for you,” Chanyeol stated, and Baekhyun hated when he got into dad mode.

“We’re just having fun. It’s not that deep.”

“You can have fun hanging out with Jongdae. Or, I don’t know, spend more time with Heechul. Just… not Tao.”

Baekhyun said nothing to this and kept eating. What could he say anyway? It wasn’t really Chanyeol’s business. Maybe he should tell him that.

“I just want you to find someone that makes you happy,” Chanyeol said when the silence had lasted a bit too long.

“Like the way Kyungsoo makes you happy,” Baekhyun inferred out loud.

“Yeah.”

Baekhyun snorted.

“What? You deserve that, Baek.”

Baekhyun sighed and looked at him, then told him, “The only person that’s ever loved me is you.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is true.”

“I mean, maybe it is true, but it’s not like you give anyone else a chance. There’s probably a great guy right under your nose that you’re not paying attention to because you’re too busy wasting your time hooking up with losers.”

“I’m unlovable, Chanyeol. You know that. Even if there was a great guy out there for me, how long would he be with me before he just left me too because he couldn’t handle everything I come with?”

“I promise you there are stronger people out there than me. There’s someone.”

“There isn’t. But I know you want to believe that because it takes the pressure off. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. The last time was the last time. I’ve accepted that.”

He looked back down at his chili cheese fries, swirling it all around with his fork, before taking another bite.

“I want to believe that,” Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun looked back over at him, to see that he clearly didn’t believe him. He didn’t trust him, and maybe he was right to not trust him, but as far as Baekhyun felt, there wasn’t a chance for him. At the beginning, he thought he could compete against Kyungsoo, but now he realized that Kyungsoo didn’t come with baggage or drama, and he made Chanyeol smile and relaxed in ways that Baekhyun never had. He really didn’t know what he was going to do anymore. Die alone, he supposed.

“I’m glad you’re happy with Kyungsoo. I hope the two of you live happily ever after.” He meant it, but even he could hear the slight bitterness underlying his tone. He shoved the rest of the chili fries in his mouth.

“You don’t have to lie to me. We’re still friends, and friends shouldn’t lie to each other.”

“I don’t think we’re still friends,” Baekhyun said, getting up from the ground and dusting off the back of his jeans. It was about time for him to clock back in anyway.

“Come on,” Chanyeol said, looking at him as he got up as well.

“We’re not. Go live your happy life with Kyungsoo. I can handle myself just fine. I don’t need you to be my friend or my dad. Just ignore me and I’ll ignore you and everything will be fine.”

Baekhyun went inside before Chanyeol could answer. He needed to be done with the conversation, so he returned the plate to the kitchen and went to wash his hands before clocking in, needing the distraction of being back on the floor to get him through the rest of this shift.

“Wait, you’re in the wrong spot,” Baekhyun said with a small smile as he saw Yixing sitting in a booth near the pool tables instead of his usual spot.

“My usual spot was taken, so I was seated here.”

“Yeah, we’ve been a bit crazy tonight. I hope you didn’t have to wait long.”

“No, I was seated right away.”

Freaking Sehun.

“Oh good. So you’re not in your usual spot, do you still want your usual or should we mix it up tonight?”

Yixing smiled at him, putting his dimples on full display, and Baekhyun wanted to “boop” them with his finger.

“I don’t know. I really do like my tacos.”

“Do you like grilled cheese?”

“In moderation.”

Baekhyun didn’t understand what that meant, but it didn’t sound like “no” so he smiled wider.

“One of our cooks makes the best grilled cheese you’ll ever have. I’m going to order one for you, along with your usual. If you don’t like it, I’ll just eat it for you.”

“Sounds fun,” Yixing said, a bit amused by this. “Okay.”

“You won’t regret it,” Baekhyun told him as he went to put in his order.

He then stopped by the bar to pick up a tray of drinks for one of his larger tables, finding Jongdae still adding glasses to it.

“When I get home, I’m going straight to bed,” Jongdae told him. “I’ve never been this… uh, here you go. You have one more coming.” He turned around quickly back to the tap leaving Baekhyun a bit disoriented by the sudden change.

Baekhyun looked around to see what had affected Jongdae in this way, but he only saw customers enjoying their food, servers rushing around, and Junmyeon approaching the bar as he spoke into the mic of his headset.

“You look stressed,” Baekhyun teased Junmyeon as he stood beside him to look over the bar area.

“Are you not in the same restaurant I am?” Junmyeon asked him, and Baekhyun laughed.

“Here’s your last one for this order,” Jongdae said, and he put the glass on the tray in one quick motion before he went to tend to a bar customer, but Junmyeon stopped him.

“Jongdae,” he said, and Baekhyun noticed Jongdae’s eyes go wide before returning back to their normal size as he looked at their manager. “Have you taken your break yet?”

“I’m going after I take care of these customers.”

“Chanyeol, did you take your break yet?” Junmyeon asked Chanyeol who had come to that side of the bar to grab some shooters.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol confirmed.

“Then he can cover,” Junmyeon said to Jongdae. “You need to go take your break. Come see me in the office before you clock out.”

“O.. okay,” Jongdae stuttered, and Junmyeon left the bar and headed back the way he came, probably heading to the office to wait for him.

“What the hell was that about?” Baekhyun asked him.

“Nothing,” Jongdae said, but his demeanor and expression stated the opposite.

“Dae…”

“It’s nothing. Go take your drinks. We’re busy and have to keep it moving.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed in concern for his friend, but he took the drinks and left the bar, determined to get the info later that night, or maybe when they were back home.

When Yixing’s order was ready, Baekhyun brought it to him with a big smile.

“Okay, I need to know the verdict. Do you want to try it now or should I come back?”

“I’ll try it now,” Yixing said, pulling the plate closer to him and inspecting it before lifting the sandwich to his mouth and taking a bite.

Baekhyun watched him chew and consider it before he nodded at him.

“This is the best grilled cheese I’ve ever had.”

“I told you!” Baekhyun said with a laugh.

“I’m not sure I can eat all of it because it’s a bit much for me, but it is very good.”

He hadn’t considered it, but it did make sense since he only ever ordered three tacos.

“I’ll bring you a box before you leave so you can take it home and have it for breakfast then,” Baekhyun told him.

“You would eat this for breakfast?”

“I eat grilled cheese for breakfast all the time. I love cheese in general.”

“I see,” Yixing said with understanding in his eyes.

“I’ll come by and check on you in a bit,” Baekhyun told him, going off to handle his more difficult customers.

Although as he moved from table to table, he couldn’t get his mind off the weird way Jongdae had been acting, or the fact that Junmyeon wanted to see him in his office. He really hoped everything was okay, and he tried not to think of the worst—that somehow the owners had found out about Jongdae and Minseok’s affair and were taking matters into their hands.


	23. Buffalo Chicken Strips

Jongdae really hoped he wasn’t getting fired. The last thing he wanted was to have to ask his parents for money and have them judge him for his poor life decisions that landed him in a restaurant as a bartender instead of in a hospital, following in their nursing footsteps.

He stepped into the cramped office where Junmyeon waited for him, and Junmyeon motioned for him to close the door, which he did.

“I wanted to apologize to you for what I said to you,” Junmyeon began. “It was unprofessional and out of line, and I shouldn’t have done it.”

“It’s okay…” Jongdae began, but Junmyeon shook his head and cut him off.

“It wasn’t okay. My issue isn’t with you, so I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Minseok explained to me what your concerns were regarding Tao and how you were just looking out for a friend. But explanation aside, I still shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I said either,” Jongdae made sure to state. “I was out of line, and I won’t cross that line again.”

“Alright,” Junmyeon nodded. “You should go take your break now.”

Jongdae nodded and left the office, relief flooding him that he wasn’t going to get fired. He clocked out then went outside to get some fresh air and possibly take a nap in his car, feeling really tired, probably from the stress of the past few days.

“Hey!” He heard Minseok’s voice call out behind him.

Jongdae looked over his shoulder to see him walking briskly toward him.

“Were you headed somewhere for your break?” Minseok asked him.

“Just to my car. I was going to take a power nap.”

Minseok glanced around, making sure they were alone, then said, “I’ll come with you.”

“Are you on break?”

“No, but we’ve settled down enough and I wanted to talk to you. Just a few minutes.”

Jongdae nodded and went to his car, both of them sliding into the backseat where there was a bit more space to relax.

“I’m sorry about what Junmyeon said to you,” Minseok then began.

“It’s okay. I was out of line.”

“No, he’s just… It bothers him a lot. Our thing. But it’s not really his business.”

“Then why does it bother him so much?” Jongdae asked, looking directly at him, the question having been heavy on his mind for a while now.

Minseok paused to consider the question and shook his head, then let out an annoyed sigh.

“He thinks I’m taking it too far. He told both me and Luhan that he didn’t think our open relationship was a good idea, and we both said we’d see how it went. But, he thinks Luhan wouldn’t be okay with it anymore if he knew how often we saw each other.”

“Was that one of your rules?”

“No. But… I don’t know what I’m doing, Jongdae. I don’t have things figured out in my life, okay?”

Jongdae could certainly relate to that.

“I wish you hadn’t brought up to Junmyeon why I was asking about Tao,” Jongdae then said. “I don’t want there to be any backlash from him against Baekhyun.”

“I didn’t say it was Baekhyun. And there won’t be. How is he doing anyway? He always seems fine on the floor.”

“He’s hanging out with Tao, so he’s… I don’t actually know. This whole thing with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo really threw him off. He’s hanging in there, I guess.”

“And how are you doing?”

“Me? I’m fine. Why?”

“Because you’ve been dealing with a lot,” Minseok put his arm around Jongdae and rubbed his shoulder, his fingers slightly massaging a muscle that had a lot of tension.

“I’m fine,” he reiterated, his eyes closing slightly. “That feels so good.”

“You’re really tense,” Minseok said, shifting so he could put a hand on each of Jongdae’s shoulders to give him a better massage.

Jongdae closed his eyes, enjoying this too much and feeling some of his tension begin to dissipate, and then Minseok placed his lips on Jongdae’s neck and even though Jongdae sensed it would happen, his body still tingled in surprise.

“I have like twenty minutes left on my break,” Jongdae reminded him.

“That’s plenty of time for me to help you relax. If you want me to,” Minseok told him, leaning in to give him a real kiss.

“I want you to,” Jongdae said, grabbing him by his shirt to return that kiss fully.

Jongdae would have to add getting a hand job from his manager in the backseat of his car during his lunch break to the list of things he’d never thought would happen in his life and yet somehow had.

He was in such a daze when he clocked back in that he had a pretty stupid smile on his face as he walked into the kitchen.

“Why do you have a stupid smile on your face?” Jorge asked him.

“Uh, no reason,” Jongdae said, trying to get it together. “Are you guys still in the weeds? I need food.”

“You can have the buffalo chicken strips in the window,” Jorge told him. “Heechul screwed up the order.”

“I’m sorry,” Heechul said, sounding indignant, “But I don’t understand the concept of buffalo chicken strips without breading.”

Jongdae cackled and grabbed the strips from the window, dunking one in the ranch dressing that accompanied it and taking a huge bite. He didn’t even realize how much he had been starving.

“Oh sweet, chicken strips” Baekhyun said coming in and stealing a strip as well. “You seem to be in a better mood. Everything turn out okay with Junmyeon?”

“Yep, everything’s fine,” Jongdae told him with a smile.

“Good. I was scared for you.”

“I was scared too,” Jongdae admitted, “But everything’s okay.” 

Or as okay as they could be with Junmyeon still not caring much for his presence and Minseok knowing deep down inside that he had taken whatever this was too far. But he wouldn’t worry about those things now. He knew this was all temporary anyway, and if his time with Minseok was coming to an end soon, then he’d rather enjoy their fun random moments together while he still had them.


	24. Kimchi and Seafood Pancakes

“I wanted that movie to be better,” Chanyeol said, holding Kyungsoo’s hand as they left the theater and headed toward his car.

“I thought it was pretty good,” Kyungsoo stated.

“It wasn’t bad, but it could have been better.”

“Hm,” Kyungsoo said, swinging their hands a little and giving a small shrug. “You’re a harsh critic.”

“I demand quality for the price of movies these days.”

“Especially when you’re paying for two.”

“You’re not a cheap date,” Chanyeol told him, leaning down to give him a small kiss, which Kyungsoo returned with a small laugh.

Things between them had been going rather well since they decided to pick up where they had left off, and Chanyeol wanted to believe that it would stay that way, but part of him knew that he couldn’t have anything nice for too long.

And just as he was about to open his car door for Kyungsoo, he got a text on his phone that proved him right.

“Who is it?” Kyungsoo asked looking concerned by his reaction.

Chanyeol sighed and shook his head, opening the door for him to get inside. He drove them to the nearby Korean bar they had decided to hang out at for sustenance more substantial than the popcorn they had split.

“One order of kimchi pancakes, one order of seafood pancakes, and two soju,” Chanyeol ordered for them.

Chanyeol smiled at Kyungsoo and reached across to play with his hands on the table, but Kyungsoo stared at him intently and he knew the question that was coming before he asked it.

“Was that Baekhyun texting you earlier?”

Chanyeol shook his head and rubbed his thumb over Kyungsoo’s before pulling his hands away and taking a sip of his water.

“It was Kibum inviting me to the big party he’s throwing at his new place.”

“Who’s Kibum?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrow raised.

“He used to work at Barry’s. He was a server, quit several months before you started. He left because he got his dream job of working with this big stylist to the stars. His ultimate goal is to be a fashion designer. Cool guy.”

“Your reaction to the text didn’t convey that,” Kyungsoo said dubiously.

Their server brought them their soju and Chanyeol poured Kyungsoo’s shot for him, Kyungsoo returning the favor, both having been raised well in their respective Korean-American households. Or Chanyeol liked to think anyway. He didn’t always care for the traditions his parents had tried to instill in him, but some he rather liked, pouring soju shots for the other person being one of them.

“So did you guys used to date?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“What?” Chanyeol asked, caught off guard by the question. “No, God no. He’s a bit much. And a bit of a mess. You know how Baekhyun’s been hooking up with Tao, and Jongdae and I are really concerned about it?”

Kyungsoo nodded, Chanyeol having filled him in one night after another concerned look at a text.

“Well, Baek used to hook up a lot with Kibum back in the day. And it was worse. Like with Tao, he’s probably spending most of his time drinking and smoking weed, which isn’t great for him, but fine. He can usually handle himself if it’s just that. Kibum thinks he’s a celebrity and likes to live fast like one. So together they were never up to any good. It was always a mess. And guess who always had to clean up the mess?”

“I see,” Kyungsoo said. “So we’re going to this party then.”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol admitted, knocking back his soju and putting his shot glass in front of Kyungsoo to pour him another. “The last time I talked to Baek, he seemed like he was really letting me go finally. So I should just let him go to this party and not be involved in any way. Right?”

Kyungsoo slid his full shot glass back over to him.

“You’ll still be involved,” Kyungsoo told him. “Because you’ll know he’s there and you’ll drive yourself crazy wondering if he’s okay.”

“You’re supposed to be steering me away from making bad decisions.”

“I don’t remember signing any agreements with you.”

Chanyeol wanted him to steer him away. It seemed easier if Kyungsoo would just tell him not to go and to stay away from Baekhyun.

“Tell me not to go,” Chanyeol pleaded.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do,” Kyungsoo told him with a level gaze. “You’re a grown man. This is your issue to deal with.”

“You said ‘we’ earlier, so you wouldn’t let me go alone.”

“You seem stressed by this party. I figured I’d keep you company to help you out if you needed.”

“And to keep an eye on me,” Chanyeol inferred.

“If you prefer, I won’t go with you.”

“I’m not going without you,” Chanyeol quickly confirmed.

“So we’re going?” Kyungsoo looked like someone playing poker and studying their opponent very carefully.

Who was he kidding? He would be worried about it all night, probably texting back and forth with Jongdae to make sure everything was okay, and then more than likely having to field drunken texts by Baekhyun. It was best if he just went and saved himself the hassle.

“Yeah, okay, we’re going,” Chanyeol sighed.

The pancakes were brought out and they both dug in, annihilating the large plates as if they hadn’t eaten all day.

“I’m inviting Jongin,” Kyungsoo said as he put down his chopsticks and pat his belly, as if indicating it was both satisfied and done for the night.

“What?” Chanyeol said.

“To this big party. I’m bringing Jongin along. If it’s as crazy as you say it’s going to be, then I’m going to need another sane person with me.”

“Are you saying I’m not sane? Wait, Jongin’s your definition of sane?”

“Jongin is very sane, and you’re sane until you’re in the same vicinity as Baekhyun, so yes and yes.”

Chanyeol shrugged and assessed how much soju was left in the bottle before pouring what was left for Kyungsoo.

“The more the merrier as they say,” Chanyeol replied, not loving the idea, but guessing if it made Kyungsoo more comfortable in going then it was fine by him.

They finished the last of their drinks and Chanyeol drove them back to his place, grateful that the conversations about Kibum’s party hadn’t made Kyungsoo change his mind about staying over.

As Chanyeol got ready for bed that night, he glanced at Kyungsoo, having changed out into just boxers as he waited in Chanyeol’s bed for him, reading something on his phone with his other arm behind his head to help prop it up, and he wondered if this was a test. If the whole reason Kyungsoo was going with him was to see if things really were done between Chanyeol and Baekhyun. But then Chanyeol thought the better test would have been to let him go alone and see what happened. So now, as Chanyeol finished brushing his teeth, he wasn’t sure what it meant that Kyungsoo would be going with him to this party.

He supposed he’d figure it out next week at Kibum’s.


	25. Breakfast on a Bagel

As Kyungsoo assembled eggs, bacon, cheese and hash browns onto the bagel in front of him, it occurred to him that he should prep a ton of these in advance to take home, knowing that he and Jongin would probably need the hangover food after the party tonight.

He didn’t know exactly what to expect from the event that had had the entire restaurant buzzing for about a week. Those who had worked with the apparently legendary character that was Kibum were already making plans to have shifts covered the following day, while those who had never met the man were discussing how best to crash the party to see what all the fuss was about.

Once his breakfast shift was done, he headed home to take a very long nap to mentally prepare for whatever the night would bring. Jongin had been lucky to have the day off, and Kyungsoo found him on the couch, watching TV, half-asleep.

“Hey, you’re home,” Jongin said letting out a big yawn and stretching his arm out over his head. “How was it?”

“Not too bad. It got busy at times, but overall it was manageable.”

“Did you bring anything?”

“Just some good hangover food. I figure we’ll need it.”

“Man, I can’t wait for tonight,” Jongin said smiling as he stretched his arm in a different direction. “Irene was telling me yesterday that at his last party he had strippers show up. Both male and female. Like apparently he goes all out.”

“A modern day Gatsby,” Kyungsoo snarked.

“Oh, I wonder who his Daisy is.”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrow.

“I wasn’t expecting you to get that reference much less know a character outside of Gatsby,” Kyungsoo said.

“I had to do a contemporary dance piece one time based on it.”

“That explains it,” Kyungsoo nodded, putting the food in the fridge and grabbing himself a glass of water.

“I bet it’s Baekhyun,” Jongin said. “Seulgi was telling me that he always liked messing around with Baekhyun.”

“Well that bodes well for the night,” Kyungsoo sighed. “I’m going to take a nap and try and gather energy for this mess.”

“What’s the real reason we’re going?” Jongin asked him, sitting up and looking at him.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to hold Chanyeol’s hand. I know you’d rather not go to this thing. Especially with how crazy it sounds.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Of course I would. I’m your best friend. It’s my job to understand.” As Jongin said this, he pulled one of the couch pillows to his chest and held it like he was a child needing a teddy bear to hold onto while speaking.

Kyungsoo smiled at him, then admitted, “I really like him. It’s stupid. He has crazy baggage and a crazy ex-boyfriend that’s the cause of most of it, but I like him. I know tonight’s probably going to be stressful for him, so I just want to be there for him.”

“Then what’s keeping you from just being his boyfriend?”

Kyungsoo had been wondering that himself. He wasn’t sure what he was still waiting for, but he felt he had to wait for something more concrete.

“I just don’t think he’s there yet. And I guess that’s what I’m waiting for.”

Jongin looked pensive as he nodded, and Kyungsoo headed to his room to take his long needed nap.

Chanyeol arrived at around 10 p.m., just as Kyungsoo had finished finally making his hair not fall into his face.

“You look so good,” Chanyeol told him, greeting him with a kiss. “Maybe we should just stay in.”

“Up to you,” Kyungsoo told him, running his hand over Chanyeol’s shoulder before fixing the collar on his black button down shirt.

“I’m ready,” Jongin said coming out of his room, also looking sharp.

“Wow, you look really nice,” Kyungsoo complimented him, and Jongin gave a small smile then hid it as he looked at Chanyeol.

“I heard it’s the kind of party you dress to impress at,” Jongin then mentioned, clearing his throat.

“Kibum does have a lot of friends in high places,” Chanyeol confirmed. “Maybe there will be a dancing scout there for you tonight.”

“I’ll have to show off my best moves then,” Jongin nodded.

The plan had been for Chanyeol to drive to Kyungsoo’s place, and then for the three of them to Uber there together. If it was the kind of the party you dressed to impress at, it was also the kind of party you probably weren’t leaving sober enough to drive home.

“Jesus,” Chanyeol said as their car pulled up to the address Chanyeol had been given, “He’s certainly upgraded.”

“This is his house?” Kyungsoo asked, needing to make sure.

“Unless he’s pretending it’s his house for the night. Who knew assisting a stylist paid so well?”

They got out of the car and took in the three story house nestled into the hill, maybe not as large as the other houses around it, but certainly on its way to being there and fitting in nicely with them in the process.

“This can’t be his house,” Jongin said. “If it is, I’m quitting and getting a job as an assistant to a stylist.”

“I think we all are,” Kyungsoo agreed.

They stepped inside and were not surprised to see the party in full swing already, music playing loud from all around them and everyone dressed like they were extras in a music video club scene.

“Oh thank God,” Irene said coming up to them. “Normal people. Can you believe this shit? Kibum thinks he’s Drake or something.”

“This isn’t actually his house is it?” Chanyeol asked her.

“I refuse to believe it is. I haven’t seen him though, but I’ll ask when I do.”

“Has anyone seen him yet?” Jongin asked her.

“Not that I know of,” Irene said looking around.

Jongin smiled at Kyungsoo and mouthed “Gatsby,” which made Kyungsoo chuckle.

They found more people from the restaurant in a living room-type of area and settled in with drinks, Jongin taking the initiative to grab Seulgi’s hand and lead her toward a speaker so they could dance together.

“Here’s to an over-the-top night out,” Chanyeol said, raising his glass.

“Here’s to hopefully making it out of here alive,” Wendy offered, tapping her glass to his.

Kyungsoo was hopeful for that as well, noticing Minseok walking in with Sehun of all people.

“Did you guys Uber together from work?” Irene asked with a laugh.

“No, we just happened to get here at the same time,” Minseok said with a laugh back. “He’s lying about this being his house, right?”

“That’s our theory,” Chanyeol acknowledged.

“Is Junmyeon coming?” Sehun asked Minseok.

“He wouldn’t be caught dead at this party,” Minseok let the young man with a crush know. “I shouldn’t be here either, but I was curious. Don’t let me catch you guys doing anything I’d have to fire you for,” he teased.

“We’re off duty,” Irene waved him off.

Minseok kept looking toward Chanyeol, and Chanyeol was pretty sure he wanted to know where Jongdae was, but luckily he didn’t have to come up with a secretive way to let him know that he didn’t know because at that moment, Jongdae arrived with Baekhyun.

“Hey, Jongdae, Baekhyun!” Wendy waved over to them.

“There’s no way this is house,” Irene said to them once they had walked over.

“No, it is,” Baekhyun said, and Kyungsoo glanced at Chanyeol to see what his reaction was at seeing Baekhyun dressed up in a nice button down with jeans and black eyeliner that made his eyes pop. To his credit, Chanyeol managed to keep a poker face.

“He can’t afford this,” Irene said shaking her head.

“No, he lives here with his sugar daddy,” Baekhyun informed them, and they all stared at him for confirmation. “Yeah, he moved in with him about two months ago. But his sugar daddy is out of town for a week so that’s why he’s throwing the party.”

“Only Kibum,” Chanyeol said shaking his head.

“Wait, how did he find a sugar daddy?” Sehun asked.

“You’re too young,” Irene told him.

“You’re never too young for one,” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “I’m totally going to find one tonight.”

Kyungsoo noticed Chanyeol roll his eyes at that comment. Kyungsoo drank more of his beer and wondered how far into the night they would get before Chanyeol would have had enough and wanted to leave.

“You made it,” a man said approaching their group, and judging from his appearance – a bizarre cross between handsome man and diva-esque beauty – Kyungsoo could only assume this was Kibum.

“I did,” Baekhyun said giving him a bright smile.

“We all did,” Chanyeol pointed out, and Kyungsoo watched him carefully.

“You all did,” Kibum said, stretching his arm out to indicate them all. “I’m glad to see you guys again. It’s been too long. We’ll catch up later, but first I want to spend quality time with my fave.” At which point, he turned his attention fully toward Baekhyun, “Why are you looking so fucking cute tonight?”

“I was trying to find my own sugar daddy at this party,” Baekhyun joked.

Kibum shook his head and took Baekhyun’s hand, saying, “You don’t need to look. You’re all mine tonight,” as he lead him away from the group and into the thickness of the party.

“Did I just miss Gatsby?” Jongin asked, looking in the direction they had left.

“Yep, with Daisy,” Kyungsoo confirmed.

“I was right,” Jongin said looking at Kyungsoo with a smile.

“What are you guys talking about?” Sehun asked.

“Aren’t you in college?” Kyungsoo asked him. “You don’t know who Gatsby is?”

“Oh, Leonardo DiCaprio,” Sehun said with a nod.

“The future is doomed,” Irene said. “Is there food at this party? Someone help me go find it.”

“I’ll help,” Minseok said, exchanging a glance with Jongdae, that he appeared to read.

Jongdae then took Irene’s vacated spot next to Chanyeol and asked him, “At what point do we check up on him?”

“We don’t,” Chanyeol said. “Baek’s a big boy. He can take care of himself.”

“Then why are you here?”

“In case I’m wrong.”

“You’re going to be wrong,” Jongdae stated.

Jongin pulled Sehun off the couch so he could dance with him, and maybe to leave them alone for their private conversation, based on the glance Jongin gave him. Kyungsoo nodded at him and placed his hand on Chanyeol’s back, rubbing small circles around it.

“Thanks for that, Dae,” Chanyeol said, staring at his empty glass.

“I’m sorry,” Jongdae said. “I’m just stressed.”

“I am too. Minseok seemed concerned you might not be here earlier.”

“I didn’t know he was coming,” Jongdae told him. “Luhan’s been in town almost all week and he just left this afternoon. I figured he’d be staying home tonight.”

“Damn,” Chanyeol said. “Did Luhan not give him good goodbye sex that he has to come get some from you tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Jongdae shrugged. “He’s been off all week. I can’t figure out if they’re fighting or if he’s starting to feel really guilty or what.”

“He can’t be feeling that guilty if he’s here looking for you,” Kyungsoo pointed out.

“I’ll choose to believe that,” Jongdae said, and then his phone screen lit up. “And it looks like he’s found us a room. I’ll see you guys in a bit.”

“Make him beg for it,” Chanyeol joked, and Jongdae pretended to kick Chanyeol’s leg then walked away with a laugh.

“Why don’t you ever find us a room at these things?” Kyungsoo teased him, bringing his hand up to rub Chanyeol’s neck and let his fingers play with his hair a little.

“You don’t want to know the answer to that,” Chanyeol flat out said.

Kyungsoo nodded and stated the obvious, “It’s a Baekhyun thing.”

“No, I mean,” Chanyeol looked up as if needing to find the right explanation. “I feel I’ve moved past that part of my life. I’d rather we just go home and hook up in the comfort of our own beds, you know?”

“I do know. I was joking. I don’t even understand the appeal.”

“There is no appeal. When Baek and I… I mean, back in the day, I would always be paranoid someone would walk in, even after I had locked the door.”

“I kind of want a tour of this place though,” Kyungsoo said.

“Yeah, let’s go check it out.”

They stopped by the open bar to get new drinks and explored around the floor they were on at first, before ascending via the modern marble stairwell that rounded up to the second level.

Even if they had wanted to find a room, it appeared every single one was occupied with people doing all kinds of things that Kyungsoo had never seen before, but very much expected to be happening at a party like this.

“I feel I’m going to be inspired to write a song about tonight,” Kyungsoo joked after opening a bedroom door to find a full on orgy happening.

“I cannot unsee what I have just seen,” Chanyeol said, looking a bit dazed.

Kyungsoo laughed at him and tugged his hand, pulling him out onto a deck with an incredible view of the city, even with the slight haze that had settled in for the night.

“One day,” Kyungsoo said, taking it all in. “One day I’ll have a house like this in the hills.”

“Me too,” Chanyeol said. “All we need is to write you a hit song and this can all be ours.”

“I feel we’re getting close with the songs we have so far,” Kyungsoo said as he turned to look at Chanyeol, whose brown eyes twinkled courtesy of the fairy lights that had been set up all around the deck.

“I think we are too. I just need to write you the perfect song.”

“After tonight, it better be orgy-related,” Kyungsoo snorted.

“I’m going to have nightmares tonight,” Chanyeol said looking disturbed all over again.

“Let me help try and make those into dreams,” Kyungsoo said, getting on his tippy toes to wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and give him a kiss.

“This is so helping,” Chanyeol told him, leaning down to pull Kyungsoo close to him.

Kyungsoo got lost in the kiss, only thinking about the warmth of Chanyeol’s body against his, and the beer-kissed lips that gave his own so much attention. He could have stayed there forever doing this very thing, but good things weren’t meant to last forever.


	26. Hummus

Chanyeol had decided he needed to stop drinking when he almost did a lap dance for Kyungsoo to try and outdo the one that Jongin had dropped on Sehun out of nowhere.

“I was really looking forward to it,” Kyungsoo said with a laugh after Chanyeol’s internal dialogue had asked himself what he was doing.

“I’ll do it later. In private.”

“No, do it now,” Sehun said clapping like a baby seal. He was far gone.

“He knows it won’t be as good as mine,” Jongin bragged.

“Look,” Chanyeol said, sitting on Kyungsoo’s lap in a non-lap dancey way. “We all know you can move your hips. You don’t have to keep rubbing it in everyone’s face.”

“Just Sehun’s face really,” Jongdae pointed out, having found them after he and Minseok had finally relinquished whatever room they had disappeared to initially.

“That is so foooouuuul,” Irene said, in her half-inebriated state.

Minseok sat beside her and laughed at how bad her slur had become then said, “Maybe we should start calling some Ubers home.”

“Irene definitely needs one,” Sehun said, laughing more.

“And so do you,” Chanyeol pointed out with an amused chuckled.

“I was ready to leave once the hummus was gone,” Irene said, waving her hand in the air in what Chanyeol supposed was a dismissal.

“That was really good hummus,” Jongin agreed. “Too bad it was literally the only food at this party.”

“We need to talk to Kibum about upping his food party game,” Sehun said. “Party food game? Which is it?”

“Okay, yeah, Uber-time for you,” Chanyeol said, motioning for Sehun to hand over his phone so he could call him an Uber.

“Is everyone leaving now?” Minseok asked in a roundabout way that was really only for Jongdae.

“Yeah, probably,” Chanyeol answered anyway, looking over at Kyungsoo who nodded in agreement.

“I can’t,” Jongdae said.

“Why not?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Baekhyun and I came together. We shared an Uber.”

“He can get one back,” Minseok waved off.

“No,” Jongdae said, then explained, “He doesn’t have access to his account right now. He threw up in one of the cars last week and they suspended his account until he pays the damage fee, which he doesn’t have at the moment.”

Chanyeol blinked and then sighed, leaning back against the couch and saying, “I’ll stay. You should go.”

“I don’t mind staying,” Jongdae said. “It makes more sense for me to stay since we’re going back to the same place.”

“Let’s just get Irene and Sehun outside and in their rides and then we’ll come up with a plan of action,” Chanyeol reasoned.

Chanyeol handed Sehun’s phone back to him then glanced at his own phone, seeing it light up with rapid messages from Kibum.

_Are you still here?! SHIT ARE YOU STILL HERE?!_

_CHANYEOL ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE_

_CHANYEOL COME UP HERE!_

_HELP!_

Chanyeol’s heart sped up and he looked around, as if having to figure out where he stood in relation to the large staircase.

“What the hell?” Jongdae said, and Chanyeol noticed he was looking at his phone as well. And then he looked at Chanyeol just as scared as Chanyeol now felt, and they both took off running toward the staircase.

Chanyeol texted _WHERE ARE YOU?_ once they had reached the second floor, and he knew panic was beginning to settle in because he was sweaty and anxious and ready to yell.

_MASTER BEDROOM END OF HALL HURRY!_

Chanyeol sped toward the end of the hall and opened a rather grandiose door that could only mean the master bedroom lived behind it.

Even though he had been expecting the worst, he still hadn’t been prepared for the sight of Baekhyun on Kibum’s bed, passed out, shirtless and half-naked with his pants and underwear only up to his knees as a very frantic Kibum did his best to try and get them fully on.

“I don’t know what happened!” Kibum said, pupils dilated and looking distressed as he pulled at his hair.

“Fuck,” Jongdae said, running over to the bed first to try and help get at least Baekhyun’s underwear on as Chanyeol checked on Baekhyun’s condition.

“Baek, wake up,” Chanyeol said slapping his cheek just enough to hopefully get him to rouse. “Wake up! Shit, what the fuck did you give him?”

“We were just partying,” Kibum said, now anxiously pacing back and forth beside the bed.

Chanyeol glanced around and saw an empty tequila bottle and a mirror with barely any residue left of whatever they had snorted. His heart raced even more, and he yelled out at Kibum, “Call an ambulance!”

“The fuck?” Kibum asked looking even more high strung. “We can’t call an ambulance. I can’t have an ambulance come here. Are you crazy?”

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” Chanyeol yelled at him before slapping Baek harder, feeling regret and guilt each time he did, but really needing him to wake the fuck up.

“I’m completely sober, and I drove myself here,” Minseok said, and Chanyeol looked over his shoulder to see that Minseok and Kyungsoo had come into the room, probably unsure of what had set Chanyeol and Jongdae in motion. “I can drive him to the hospital.”

“Go get your car and pull up to the front,” Chanyeol told him, and Minseok ran out of the room to do as directed.

Kyungsoo hurried over to the bed to help Jongdae pull Baekhyun’s jeans up.

“Baek, please wake up for me,” Chanyeol tried again, holding him up in a sitting position this time in hopes it would help. “Please, babe. Just wake up.”

He heard Baekhyun groan.

“That’s it. Baek, can you hear me? I’m here. Just wake up.”

“Why is this happening?” Kibum lamented, still pacing erratically back and forth.

“Wake up,” Jongdae said, coming over to the other side of Baekhyun after he and Kyungsoo finally got his jeans mostly on. “Baek, please.”

Baekhyun groaned again and Chanyeol kept calling his name, trying to get his attention on him, and Baekhyun did seem to hear him as his brows furrowed and he looked toward Chanyeol’s direction.

“Yeollie?” His voice came, weak, but very much there.

“I’m here, Baek. Focus on me, okay? Look at me.”

“Yeollie,” he said again, but his eyes did flutter as he tried to focus on him, “I don’t feel good.”

“I know, babe. I’m going to take you outside so you can get some fresh air, okay? That’s going to help.”

Baekhyun just groaned again, and Chanyeol directed Jongdae to find his shirt and shoes to bring along. He took a deep breath before lifting Baekhyun up into his arms to carry him out.

Kyungsoo held the door wide open for him, then helped clear a path so they could get outside and away from all the onlookers that were now invested in the drama of what was happening.

“Baek, stay with me,” Chanyeol told him as he sped-walked to Minseok’s waiting car, and Baekhyun groaned again and reiterated that he didn’t feel good.

Jongdae ran ahead to open the door for them and Jongin ran over to them, asking, “What’s going on?”

“Open the other side and help me put him into the car,” Chanyeol commanded.

Jongin did as instructed as Chanyeol tried to angle Baekhyun just right so he didn’t hit his head as he put him in the backseat.

“Try and pull him toward you,” Chanyeol told Jongin.

Once they managed to get him in, Chanyeol sat beside him, Jongdae getting into the front passenger seat.

“Call me if you need anything,” Kyungsoo told him as he closed Chanyeol’s door, and Chanyeol could think of a million things he needed right then, the number one thing being not having to deal with this situation.

The drive felt like it took forever, even with Minseok running a red light here and there and weaving around cars.

Chanyeol held on tightly to Baekhyun as he talked to him, trying to keep him as coherent as possible, and wondering exactly when he had started crying as he gasped for air before continuing.

Minseok pulled up right behind a parked ambulance and the three of them sprang into action, Minseok running in to alert the emergency room as Jongdae helped Chanyeol get Baekhyun out of the car. He was spared having to carry him as they were met by two people and a gurney, taking over as they put Baekhyun on it and wheeled him away from their sight.

Chanyeol wanted to collapse and sob himself into the ground, but he walked with Jongdae and Minseok to the waiting room and sat down, feeling exhausted and emotionally drained, but knowing that he still had one thing he had to do before he lost his composure completely.

He sniffled and wiped tears off his cheek as he pulled out his phone and dialed the phone number for Baekhyun’s mom.


	27. Munchie Meals

Jongdae had anticipated the night ending in many terrible ways, but none of his scenarios had been as terrible as this.

He tried to comfort Chanyeol, rubbing his hand around his back as he sat beside him in the waiting room, but Chanyeol wouldn’t stop crying, and Jongdae didn’t know how to make him stop.

When Baekhyun’s parents arrived, Jongdae had no idea how to even explain to them why their son was in the hospital.

“We were at a party,” Jongdae began to explain, “And he got a bit carried away. When we found him, he was passed out, so we brought him here.”

It was the best he could do, knowing that Baekhyun’s parents weren’t going to be able to fully understand at that moment anyway. They’d get the truth from the doctor anyway, and maybe by then, they’d be able to digest it better.

After some time, Chanyeol asked him, “Why did this happen, Dae?”

“I don’t know,” Jongdae answered. It almost didn’t seem like something that could be questioned to him. It was just something that happened. The inevitability of it had been clear with Baekhyun’s behavior the past couple of weeks.

“I should have checked up on him.”

“Chanyeol, don’t you even dare think about blaming yourself for this. You’ve done everything you can for him. This is his path, and this is a result of his decisions, and there was no stopping him.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if I had given him what he wanted.”

Jongdae wanted to knock some sense into Chanyeol, but instead he took a deep breath and chose his words carefully.

“You spent years giving him what he wanted, and it changed nothing. If you had given him what he wanted, then you would be in another terrible situation altogether. You guys can’t get back together. It’s not going to work. You need to move on, and he needs to figure his shit out.”

“I’ve tried to move on, Dae,” Chanyeol said, sniffling again. “I really have.”

“I know. You just have to cut the cord here. You’ve got a great relationship already waiting for you if you just let Baekhyun go. For real. Not just physically, but emotionally as well.”

Chanyeol nodded, and Jongdae was glad that it seemed some of what he was saying was getting through.

Minseok returned to the waiting room, bearing two coffees, which Chanyeol and Jongdae both took graciously.

“You don’t have to stay,” Jongdae told him. “I’m really sorry about tonight.”

“It’s not like I have other plans,” Minseok said, attempting to lighten the mood a little. “And you have nothing to be sorry about.”

After a long while, Baekhyun’s parents returned to the waiting room, and the three friends looked at them expectantly for news.

“They’re treating him now,” his father told them. “They’re keeping him overnight. You should all go home and get some rest.”

“I’m staying,” Chanyeol said, “But you should go,” he told Jongdae.

“Chanyeol…”

“No, I can’t. I have to… stay.”

Jongdae nodded and squeezed his shoulder, getting up from his chair.

“I’ll come back in the morning with some clean clothes for him,” Jongdae told Baekhyun’s parents, and they thanked him. He exchanged hugs with them before telling them to call him if they needed anything, and then he hugged Chanyeol and told him the same and also, “Try and get some sleep tonight somehow. Whatever you want to be here for in the morning, you should be as well rested as possible for it.”

Chanyeol nodded, and Jongdae left with Minseok, sure that Chanyeol would get no sleep at all.

“Are you hungry?” Minseok asked Jongdae as they got in his car.

Jongdae noticed the time and couldn’t believe it was 4 a.m.

“I am actually,” he admitted.

“Let’s go find you some food then,” Minseok said.

They ended up going through a Jack in the Box drive-thru and getting Munchie Meals since not much else was open at that time. By the time they arrived at Jongdae’s apartment, he had devoured his burger, tacos and just about every last one of his curly fries.

He expected Minseok to wish him a goodnight, but instead he parked and turned off the ignition.

“Do you mind if I stay tonight?” Minseok then asked, probably noticing Jongdae’s unsure expression on his face.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. You must be really tired.”

“That’s not why.”

“Why then?” Jongdae asked, now too full and exhausted to fully comprehend what exactly was happening.

“Because you’ve been through a lot tonight, and I don’t think you should be alone.”

“As tired as I am, I doubt I’ll notice I’m alone long enough to care.”

Minseok smiled at his small joke and reached his hand out to smooth some of Jongdae’s hair out of his face.

“If you don’t want me to stay, that’s okay. But I… yeah.”

Jongdae knew he should send Minseok home, but after everything he had done for them that night, it didn’t feel right.

“Let’s go to bed,” Jongdae said, giving him a small smile before opening the car door.

Even though Minseok wasn’t breaking any of his and Luhan’s rules by staying over at Jongdae’s, Jongdae felt like a line was being crossed the moment that Minseok walked in the door.

And still, he showed him around and felt warmth each time Minseok made a comment about something in his room that he found interesting, or pointed something out with the comment of “This is so you.”

As they settled in for the night, in Jongdae’s own bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, he found himself wishing that this could be the norm. It wasn’t fair that the person that he wanted had already been taken by someone else before he had even had the chance to meet him. But based on the events of the night, he supposed very little was fair when it came to these types of things.

Jongdae looked at Minseok, who stared back at him, both of them fighting sleep to hold the glance a little longer.

“I wish you had met me first,” Jongdae admitted, and he knew the moment he said it that he shouldn’t have. Emotional lines were the main ones that should never be crossed.

And he knew the reply he wanted to hear, and he steeled himself for the opposite answer, as Minseok’s eyelashes fluttered before he stared at Jongdae again, saying nothing for too long, and then finally breaking the silence.

“Things certainly would have been different,” Minseok said.

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear, but it wasn’t the opposite either. It was a neutral answer, and Jongdae was pathetic enough that he took it and cuddled into Minseok more, letting sleep finally take him.


	28. Apple Juice

Chanyeol woke up to Baekhyun’s mother trying to wake him gently by rubbing his arm. He had slept on the waiting room couch, Baekhyun’s parents having slept in Baekhyun’s room with him, and Chanyeol startled awake, thinking the worst.

“You can see him now,” Baekhyun’s mother said to him, calming him down with a squeeze to the shoulder. “They just brought him his lunch.”

Chanyeol let out a deep sigh and thanked her, standing up to follow her to his room and checking his phone in the process seeing several missed text messages from Kyungsoo asking if he was okay and checking up on Baekhyun’s condition. He felt guilt at the messages, thinking he didn’t deserve Kyungsoo at that moment.

He walked into the room to find that Baekhyun’s bed was propped up so he could sit up to eat, but instead of eating, he was staring out the window, looking pale and exhausted. Chanyeol walked around the bed and sat in the chair that his mother had probably vacated, and Baekhyun’s gaze turned to him.

“I don’t know what happened,” Baekhyun said to him, his voice a bit raspy and tired. “Or why I’m here. Well, I know why I’m here now because the doctor and my parents told me, but I don’t remember coming here.”

Chanyeol stared at him, taking in the confusion on his face and then rubbing his own face, still tired himself and not sure how he had the energy to even sit there, but then he looked back at Baekhyun and then the tray in front of him.

“You should eat your food,” he said.

“I’m not really hungry.”

Chanyeol sighed and looked at the unappetizing selection, and then grabbed the small plastic container of apple juice, peeling off the top and handing it to him saying, “At least drink this.”

Baekhyun took it into his hands and took a sip as directed.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun then said.

“What are you sorry about?” Chanyeol asked him, feeling frustration creep up in him, but forcing it down.

“For putting you through this,” Baekhyun replied.

Chanyeol rubbed his face and looked down for a moment, knowing he had to keep it together. He wanted to yell at him. He wanted to shake some sense into him. How was he supposed to have a conversation and be honest with someone who had almost died in his arms?

“You should be sorry for putting yourself through this,” Chanyeol said instead, looking back up at him and finding him watching him with a concerned expression. “I just don’t understand. I really don’t. These past two weeks. It’s like you’ve been going a hundred miles an hour.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologizing,” Chanyeol snapped, and he had to pause and take a deep breath to calm himself again. “Baekhyun, you almost died. Do you understand that?”

Baekhyun sucked on his bottom lip and gave a small shake of his head.

“I didn’t almost die,” he said, looking at him with uncertainty. “I just passed out.”

“Is that what the doctor told you?” Chanyeol threw at him.

“No,” Baekhyun admitted, looking small as he turned his attention to the apple juice in his hands.

“God,” Chanyeol said shaking his head, “When the fuck are you going to learn to love yourself? You can’t even admit to yourself what happened last night. Are you just going to walk around in denial and run back to Kibum for another good time?”

“No,” Baekhyun protested looking back at him. “I wasn’t… I was just trying to move on, okay? You moved on, and I was trying to do the same thing.”

“With Kibum?” Chanyeol asked with disbelief heavy in his tone. “With Tao? If you wanted to move on, you would be out there meeting new people and dating, not making things worse for yourself and your mental health. And now this? What’s next?”

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said, tears releasing as his hands trembled while he held the apple juice. “I’m not good at moving on. I don’t know how to.”

Chanyeol knew this was true, and he backed off, running his hand through his own hair before grabbing the napkin on Baekhyun’s tray and handing it to him.

Baekhyun put down his apple juice and accepted the napkin, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

“Everything is terrible,” Baekhyun said, and it seemed as if he was saying this to himself, but Chanyeol commented anyway.

“Don’t say that.”

Baekhyun sniffled and looked at Chanyeol, “My parents are so upset. They kept telling the doctor that they didn’t understand why this happened. Then they asked me why this happened and I told them that I didn’t know. They’re so disappointed.”

“They’re just scared,” Chanyeol said, having to fight the urge to run a comforting hand over his arm. It was hard to fight against his instincts to try and make him feel better or help, and Chanyeol sat there feeling incapable of being useful. “You know your parents adore you. They’re just freaked out because they almost lost you.”

Silence passed through them as Baekhyun sniffled again and wiped more tears, but then he took a deep breath and seemed to have found some kind of resolve within himself as he looked at Chanyeol again.

“You should go,” Baekhyun told him. “I’m sorry that I put you through this, and I can’t thank you enough for being there for me last night, but I think maybe you shouldn’t be there for me anymore. When you broke up with me, I hated myself each day that we weren’t together. I knew it was my fault. I knew I was the reason you ended it,” Baekhyun said, taking breaths to regulate his feelings a bit. “I made you happy once, right?”

Chanyeol didn’t think his heart could take much more of this, but he nodded.

“You made me happy more than once,” he confirmed for him.

“Then go,” Baekhyun said. “You don’t have to keep an eye on me anymore. Or worry about me. Just leave and go back to Kyungsoo and your new happy life with him. I’m sure he’s worried about you and wondering where you are. Go be with him. I can take care of myself from now on.”

“Why are you saying this?” Chanyeol asked, not trusting it, but also knowing that there was no way Baekhyun could take care of himself right now.

“Because I have to,” Baekhyun said, “Because you’ve moved on, and I have to figure out what I’m supposed to do next. You always being here for me is confusing because it makes me think you still want to be with me, but then you say you don’t, and I can’t handle the mixed signals anymore. I don’t think I could ever handle them.”

“I wasn’t trying to give you mixed signals, I was just trying to be a good friend,” Chanyeol said, exasperated that Baekhyun couldn’t understand.

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t handle it,” Baekhyun said, soft and more to himself.

Chanyeol had wished for the day that Baekhyun found clarity about the situation, but he never imagined it coming in this way, though he supposed almost dying would force someone to have some sort of clarity. But still, his heart hurt, and for some reason, the idea of leaving him alone felt wrong and all of his previous guilt washed over him again. But he knew truths had been said, so he said, “Okay,” and stood up.

“I want you to get better,” Chanyeol told him. “If leaving you alone is what will make that happen, then I’ll do it.”

He wanted to say so much more. He wanted to tell him that he cared about him, that he was worried for him, that if he found whatever he was trying to do wasn’t working, then to reach out to him so he could help. But these were all things that would be counterproductive to Baekhyun’s wishes, and probably his overall mental health, so Chanyeol told him to take care and get better soon and then left, wishing that the last image of Baekhyun he had wasn’t of his ex’s tears falling again.


	29. Nachos

Kyungsoo tried not to worry too much about Chanyeol’s lack of communication. He thought that maybe he needed the space, so he gave it to him, and instead kept sending texts just so Chanyeol knew he could reach out to him if he needed.

He placed several orders up in the window for Jongin, who looked at him and asked, “Have you heard anything yet?”

“No,” Kyungsoo confirmed.

“I texted Jongdae for an update, but all he said was that Baekhyun would be fine.”

Kyungsoo was glad Baekhyun would be fine, but would Chanyeol? He tried to not worry about it for the rest of his shift, and when it was time to clock out, he checked his phone, hoping there’d be a message waiting for him. But there wasn’t.

“I’m going to drop you off at home, then head over to Chanyeol’s,” Kyungsoo let Jongin know as they left out the back to walk toward the parking lot.

“Did you hear from him?”

“No. And I don’t know what that means, so I’m going to go check out the situation for myself.”

“I’ll just get an Uber,” Jongin waved off. “Go and text me when you find out everything’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I might go hang out with Sehun for a little bit anyway. I’ll see if he’s up for it.”

Kyungsoo nodded and headed to his car alone, holding a carry-out box full with nachos, thinking that if Chanyeol was in a bad state, he may not have eaten all day either.

Of course, another thought occupied Kyungsoo’s mind as well, and after he parked and made his way up to Chanyeol’s apartment, he tried to mentally prepare himself for the possibility that he’d find Baekhyun there as well.

He knocked.

He waited.

And then he knocked again.

And then he took out his phone to call Chanyeol, but just as it started ringing, the door opened.

“I brought you food,” Kyungsoo explained, taking in Chanyeol’s puffy tear-stained face and the bags under his eyes. “I can just drop it off if you need to keep being alone.”

Chanyeol opened the door for him to come in and then rubbed his face. Kyungsoo wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him everything would be okay, but instead he walked inside and put the food on the table, not seeing any trace of Baekhyun being there.

“Sit,” Kyungsoo instructed Chanyeol, having opened the box already. “I’ll get you some water.”

He went to the kitchen and got them two glasses of water, then came over and sat with him at the table, grateful that Chanyeol had started to eat some of the nachos.

“So, you haven’t slept,” Kyungsoo observed. “After this we’ll go to bed.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Chanyeol told him.

“You didn’t have to let me in,” Kyungsoo reminded him, motioning for him to drink some water, sure he hadn’t thought to even do that throughout the day. “How’s Baekhyun?”

“He’s… fine. They’re keeping him another night for observation and to do his psych evaluation. They’ll probably discharge him tomorrow afternoon after all that’s done. Then his parents are taking him back home and are making him stay with them for the time being.”

“That’s good,” Kyungsoo nodded. “What have you been doing all day?”

“Writing mostly,” Chanyeol told him. “Trying to disappear in music and hope that it takes me away from all of this.”

Kyungsoo reached out to rub his arm in a comforting gesture, “That’s good though. It’s a good way to let it all out.”

Chanyeol looked at him as he ate, and then he closed the lid of the box and said, “Why are you putting up with all of this? I don’t deserve how nice you’re being to me after everything.”

“Let’s go to sleep, and I’ll answer your question in the morning.”

Kyungsoo got up to take the nachos to the fridge, and then he made sure to turn off lights as he led Chanyeol to the bedroom.

The tall man fell asleep in his arms as soon as his head hit the pillow, and Kyungsoo stared at him, just enough street light coming in through the slits of the blinds to highlight the soft shadows of his cheeks. Kyungsoo dropped a kiss on one and softly said, “I really like you,” before falling asleep himself.

In the morning, Kyungsoo woke up before Chanyeol and rummaged through his kitchen to see what he could use to make him breakfast. Unfortunately, it seemed as if Chanyeol hadn’t done any grocery shopping yet this week.

So he warmed up the leftover nachos and made them coffee, Chanyeol joining him soon after.

“I was going to make you breakfast,” Kyungsoo explained to him as they sat at the small dining table again. “You didn’t even have eggs for me to throw on this for a bootleg chilaquiles.”

“Yeah, I had planned to go yesterday since I had the day off,” Chanyeol sighed.

“Are you going to be okay going to work tonight?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” Chanyeol said, and though he still looked a bit tired and sad, he at least looked like he had gotten sleep, which was an improvement.

They ate the nachos and drank the coffee, and then Kyungsoo answered Chanyeol’s question from the previous night.

“So, why am I putting up with all this?” He began, and Chanyeol paid close attention. “I’ve only ever been in one relationship before. Back home, in college, before I moved out here to take my chances at being a singer.”

Chanyeol’s face softened as he looked at him.

“He didn’t understand my decision to move out here. He thought it was stupid. He was a finance major and really practical. He wanted me to stay there with him, and for a moment I considered it. But it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like me. So we broke up, and I packed up and came out here. I didn’t know anyone. I lived on my own and tried to figure out how to make my big break happen. And then I went to Barry’s to do an open mic night, and I met you. And I started working there, and it felt right, and you felt right, and I feel like me when I’m with you.”

Chanyeol stared at him, and Kyungsoo gave him time to process his answer, taking another sip of his coffee.

“I think…” Chanyeol said, and he swallowed before continuing, “I wrote a song yesterday. I think you should sing it.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how that was a reply to what he said, but he nodded.

“You want to do it now?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said, getting up from the table.

Kyungsoo followed him over to the couch, and sat next to Chanyeol, who pulled his laptop onto his lap and opened up his audio program.

“These are the lyrics,” he said, showing them to him on the side of the screen while he continued to pull up the audio file.

Kyungsoo leaned into him to read the lyrics better, and he was struck by the subject matter and the words chosen to convey the emotion.

“Is this about Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asked him, though he didn’t really need the confirmation.

“It is,” Chanyeol confirmed with a single nod. “Originally, I was writing a song about how much we’d been through, and how horrible things had been, and basically I think I was really angry at him. But then at some point, I started thinking about it from his side of things, and then I started writing the song from his point of view, and it all just came out.”

“Let me hear it.”

Chanyeol pressed play and Kyungsoo instantly fell in love with the slow R&B vibe of the maudlin song. A tiny chill went down his spine and he leaned in to read the lyrics better, so that when Chanyeol played it again, he could try and sing along.

 _As I forgot about you who doesn’t love me  
_ _I live doing everything that I wanted to do  
_ _I can’t ever erase you from my head.  
_ _Why?_

 _Who are you to make me pitiful?  
_ _If I cursed you out I would have felt better at least  
_ _Why? Why did you leave me  
_ _Without saying anything?_

 _I’m not ready to break up wait a minute  
_ _Waiting is too long it has no limit  
_ _I keep calling for you but you’re answerless  
_ _And only echoes keep coming back to me…_

 _I hate myself  
_ _for living on after losing you  
_ _But I hope that someday…  
_ _Oh, tell me, what is love?  
_ _Tell me, what is love?_

 _Like you told me while gazing into my eyes  
_ _The two letters hurt like humiliation.  
_ _My heart finally knows  
_ _Oh, tell me, what is love?  
_ _Tell me, what is love?_

 _Hey, baby please stop!  
_ _You stop in your tracks walking away from me  
_ _Please even now… NO NO NO  
_ _It doesn’t matter if it’s a lie.  
_ _I want to know at least the truth._

 _Why did you keep  
_ _Pushing me away?  
_ _How I kept approaching you,  
_ _Was that selfish of me?  
_ _I can’t escape from these thoughts.  
_ _Is such a thing love?_

Kyungsoo could understand it from this side. How painful it must have been to lose someone like Chanyeol. Someone who instinctively wanted to help people and make sure they were okay and happy. Kyungsoo realized how important someone like that would be to someone like Baekhyun who needed a positive light in his life.

 _I’m frozen in the same place  
_ _Even after time passes  
_ _Happy moments stopped me  
_ _Like a photo._

 _T_ _hey ask, people ask  
_ _If I’m alright  
_ _I break a little  
_ _My slashed heart hurts  
_ _Like this, SO BAD…  
_ _Don’t go far from me  
_ _No baby you oh- no no no no no  
_ _I’m not a kind of steel yeah_

 _I hate myself  
_ _For living on after losing you  
_ _But I hope that someday… I hope for  
_ _Oh, tell me, what is love?  
_ _Tell me, what is love?_

Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol who stared at him, with a look he couldn’t quite read.

“That’s your song,” Chanyeol said. “That was perfect. That’s your hit.”

“It’s a beautiful song,” Kyungsoo complimented him.

“I kept asking myself yesterday over and over, what is love? What is it? Is it getting back together with Baekhyun and being there for him and trying to make it work so at least I can keep an eye on him? Is it letting him go and watching him fall apart and feeling helpless because I can’t do anything to help him? Like what is it? And then this morning, you just sat there, and you told me exactly what it was. It was so simple. In the beginning, me and Baekhyun felt like me. But then after a while it didn’t. Now it’s you and me that feels like me. You feel like me, Kyungsoo. You make me feel like me.”

And Chanyeol started crying, so Kyungsoo pulled him into him and held him close, dropping kisses on his wet cheek and letting him cry out all of the things that had been probably building up inside of him for the last two days.


	30. Apple Pie with Cheese

Baekhyun knew that when he walked into his apartment almost a week after having been released from the hospital, he’d have to deal with Jongdae, so he steeled himself for it, walking in and finding him on the couch playing a video game.

“You’re home,” Jongdae said, surprised as he paused the game.

“I am,” Baekhyun confirmed, and he went to his room to drop off the bag of clothes he had brought back with him.

Jongdae had followed him to his room, which Baekhyun expected.

“I thought your parents were making you stay with them for a while.”

“That’s what they wanted,” he said, moving past him to go to the kitchen to see what they had in the fridge.

“It seemed like a good idea,” Jongdae continued, following him to the kitchen as well.

Baekhyun considered a beer, but instead grabbed a bottled water, and shut the refrigerator door, heading to the living room and sitting on the couch.

“Baek, why aren’t you at your parents?” Jongdae asked him again, sitting beside him and facing him.

“Because I don’t want to be. The past week has been annoying with them questioning all of my life’s choices and the constant reminders that my life is the exact opposite of what they hoped it’d be. If I’m going to get better, then I can’t be around them for that long. So I talked to my therapist about it and we agreed that being in my own space would be better as I try and go forward from this.”

“I get that,” Jongdae said. “Why didn’t you call me? I could have picked you up.”

“I think I’ve bothered you enough,” Baekhyun said looking at his best friend and then he sighed and reached out to hold Jongdae’s hand, “I’m really sorry for putting you through this. Thank you for being there and helping.”

He squeezed Jongdae’s hand, who squeezed it back as he nodded, and then Baekhyun let it go.

“I honestly had no idea what I was supposed to tell your parents,” Jongdae told him. “Like how do you explain to someone that you found their kid naked on someone’s bed and passed out from a drug overdose? Baek, you can’t do that again.”

“I know. I won’t.”

“No, you don’t understand. You’re better than this. You’re more special than a cliché, and that’s what you’ve been acting like. Stop hanging out with Tao. Don’t talk to Kibum again. I know I’m boring compared to them, but why are you so against just hanging out with me and playing video games? Or maybe seeing a movie? Why does your life have to be so extra at all times?”

“It doesn’t,” Baekhyun told him, knowing he had been out of control and not sure how he had gotten to that point. It was something else he was trying to work through with his therapist.

“Why don’t you join an acting class and meet new people that are probably not going to make you end up in a hospital? Or take up vocal lessons again. You’re such a good singer. Go sharpen that talent instead. Like you need to find a hobby, or something….”

“Dae,” Baekhyun cut him off, giving him a small smile. “I’m okay. I am. It’s going to be okay. If we’re both up for it after our shift tonight, we can come home and play video games. And if you want, we can hang out at the movies tomorrow. Or maybe go do karaoke somewhere. Okay?”

“Can we just stay home? Is that an option?”

“We can stay home. We can watch Netflix and make ourselves popcorn.”

“No more Tao?”

“No more Tao,” Baekhyun promised with a nod.

“No more Kibum?”

“No more Kibum?” Baekhyun said, giving him a soft smile.

Jongdae hugged him, and Baekhyun hugged him back, thinking he owed Jongdae a lot for how much he cared about him.

They played video games for a little bit before they both decided to go take naps before having to get ready for their shifts that night.

As Baekhyun lay in bed, not quite sleepy enough for a nap, he decided he’d start replying to some of the text messages he had received in the past week since the night he had ended up in the hospital.

His replies were pretty much the same, a combination of “I’m fine, thanks for checking in, I’m sorry I freaked you out, everything’s good,” and so on.

And then he got to Kibum’s texts.

_I’m so sorry. Please be okay._

_Call me okay?_

_Are you okay?_

_I’m so sorry._

Baekhyun still hadn’t been quite sure what happened, and he couldn’t remember much about the night, but based on what the doctor had told him, it was a miracle something worse hadn’t happened. From what he had learned about the night, he knew he had Chanyeol to thank, as well as Jongdae and Minseok, for finding him when they did and rushing him to the hospital. Had Chanyeol not brought him back to consciousness when he had, he may never have been brought back to consciousness at all, and that fact alone had sobered him more than any other thing the doctor had said.

_I’m home, safe, and okay._

Baekhyun sent his reply, and saw that Kibum was typing a reply back to him, so he waited for it.

_OMG THANK GOD! I’m so sorry! I’m going to kill my dealer for giving us bad shit. I swear to god._

_It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Just try and take care of yourself okay?_

_I will, but you do the same. I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I promise._

_No worries. I’m good now. Just be careful. I’d say get a new dealer, but maybe you should just stay away from it for some time yeah?_

_Yeah, I’ll slow things down a bit. You sure you’re okay?_

_I am. Take care Ki._

_You too Baek. SORRY!_

Baekhyun set an alarm and lay his phone on his nightstand, pulling his covers over him and forcing himself to take a nap.

He and Jongdae drove into work together, and as soon as Baekhyun clocked in, he was hugged by Wendy.

“It’s so good to see you. Are you okay?” She asked looking him over.

“I’m fine. I’m good,” he assured her. “Thank you so much for covering my shifts last week.”

“No worries. I’m just happy you’re okay. Don’t scare us like that again.”

“I won’t,” he assured her.

This scene repeated itself each time he saw someone new, and he was grateful when he finally got on the floor and started focusing on his tables instead.

While he input orders into the system, Jongin came over to him.

“Hey, I’m surprised you’re back already.”

“I’m fine,” Baekhyun told him with a smile, and then remembering what Jongdae had recounted for him while they had been playing video games, he said, “Thanks for helping me out that night. I’m sorry I put you through that.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m just happy you’re alive. I mean, your regular would’ve been really sad if you had died. He was bummed when I had to take his order instead of you.”

“Was he?” Baekhyun asked with a small smile. “I’m sure he got over that the moment he saw what a great server you were.”

“I don’t think so. He’ll be happy you’re back tonight.”

Baekhyun finished inputting his order and turned the system over to Jongin, heading to the bar to pick up his drink orders.

Both Chanyeol and Jongdae were on duty that night and he noticed Chanyeol putting his drinks out instead of Jongdae, so he took a deep breath and headed over to get them. He grabbed a tray from the side and started putting them on himself, then waited for the last one, which Chanyeol put on the tray for him.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said, and took the tray as quick as he could.

He supposed they could continue to co-exist at work like this, keeping it professional and only speaking when information needed to be exchanged, or maybe he would seriously have to consider finding another restaurant to serve at. Maybe he could work at the Mexican place next door. They had better tacos, so he could probably convince his regular to start going there instead.

He headed to the kitchen to get his orders that were ready and, just as he walked in, he was grabbed by Heechul who gave him a tight squeeze.

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” Heechul told him, letting him go and looking him over. “You look okay.”

Baekhyun laughed and assured him he was.

“I heard about what happened,” Heechul told him. “Next time you want a fun night, just call me, okay? I’ll make sure you don’t end up in the hospital.”

“I’ll remember that,” Baekhyun said with a smile, patting Heechul on the shoulder and heading to the window.

He looked over the ready dishes figuring out what belonged to him when Kyungsoo slid him a grilled cheese.

“That’s for you,” Kyungsoo told him. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Baekhyun looked at the grilled cheese, probably a bit suspiciously, then back at Kyungsoo in surprise. But then again, he had heard about how he had helped out that night too, and once again Baekhyun recited what had fast become his mantra.

“Thanks for helping me out that night.”

“No worries,” Kyungsoo said, turning back to the grill.

Baekhyun put his grilled cheese to the side, taking a bite of it before he grabbed his orders and took them to their tables.

And then as he was making his rounds, he spotted Yixing sitting in his usual spot.

“Hey,” he said coming over to him with a big smile. “I heard you missed me.”

“I did,” Yixing said, smiling back at him with his dimples on full display. “I’m sorry you haven’t been feeling well.”

“Eh, I’m fine now,” Baekhyun waved off. “I feel bad for making you have to deal with Jongin though,” he said, then noticing Yixing’s unsure look, told him, “I’m kidding. Jongin’s great.”

“Oh,” Yixing said nodding with a small chuckle. “He was very good. Not the same though.”

“It’s a different kind of good. Either way, I’ll make it up to you. Do you like apple pie?”

“I do,” Yixing said, as if he had to think about it first.

“Have you ever had apple pie with melted cheddar cheese on it?”

Yixing looked dubious and shook his head.

“Okay, I’ll put in your usual and then I’m going to bring you apple pie with melted cheese as your dessert. You’re going to thank me later.”

“That sounds terrible,” Yixing said.

“Trust me on this. I thought it sounded terrible too, and then I tried it. Life changing. Let me get your order in.”

Baekhyun put the order in and then went to find a manager, seeing Junmyeon first as he made his rounds around the restaurant.

“Hey,” Baekhyun greeted their manager. “I’m going to need you to comp an apple pie with cheese a little later.”

“Why? Did they not like it?”

“No, it’s a present. To my regular,” Baekhyun explained with a cheesy smile. “He missed me while I was gone and I feel bad.”

“How are you?”

Baekhyun had hoped that Junmyeon of all people had either not heard the news or had not been told the particulars, but at Barry’s, that was way too much to ask for.

“I’m fine. Sorry for having to have so many of my shifts covered. I owe everyone big time.”

“Minseok told me,” Junmyeon let him know, and Baekhyun should not have been surprised to hear that.

“Yeah, I’ll have to thank him when I see him. I owe him big time too.”

“You know what our policy is here, right?”

Baekhyun sighed and nodded, pretty sure he should have seen this coming.

“Am I going to be subjected to monthly drug tests now?”

“It didn’t happen on company property or while you were working, so no. But I want to make sure that you know what the policy is. Those types of things are not tolerated here.”

“Got it. I’ve never done anything like that here and I never will. Promise.”

“You know, we hired you back conditionally after the first time.”

“I know,” Baekhyun said, never able to forget how difficult Junmyeon had been about letting him get his job back after he had disappeared for a couple of weeks to not deal properly with being dumped. “But I’ve followed all the rules since then.”

“You have, but your behavior off premises is a little concerning.”

“It won’t be anymore. I promise.”

“You make a lot of promises.”

“And I tend to keep them,” Baekhyun nodded. “Most of the time. I’ll keep this one. Promise.” He gave a teasing smile, hoping that Junmyeon lightened up about this so they could both get back to work.

“We love having you here,” Junmyeon told him. “I’d hate to lose you. You better keep that promise. Remind me to comp the apple pie in a bit.”

“Will do. Thanks!”

Baekhyun returned to his rounds and later when he noticed that Yixing was done with his tacos, he put in the order for the apple pie and went to go pick it up from the kitchen.

“Okay,” Baekhyun said, placing the dessert in front of him. “Are you ready to try it?”

“That looks unappetizing,” Yixing commented.

“Do not judge a book by its cover,” Baekhyun chided him with a wag of the finger. “Try it.”

Yixing picked up his fork and did try it, in the most careful way Baekhyun had ever seen.

“The verdict?” Baekhyun asked, already smiling, seeing the surprised look on his face.

“It works,” Yixing said.

“Told you!”

“It’s very interesting, but very tasty. I’ll take it home with me.”

“What?” Baekhyun asked, probably looking more shocked than he should. “How are you not going to finish something that delicious now?”

“I’ll take another bite, but I am quite full.”

“We need to work on your stomach size,” Baekhyun teased him. “Fine, I’ll go get you a box.”

“Before you do,” Yixing said, “I wanted to ask you something.”

“What’s up?”

“I… no, never mind. I’ll just take the box and the check.”

“Are you sure? Did you want something else? Another taco? More cheese for your apple pie?”

Yixing looked at him amused, but shook his head and said, “The box is fine.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” Baekhyun told him, and he took off to find Junmyeon so he could comp the apple pie.

He returned to Yixing with the box and his check.

“By the way, I’m off tomorrow, but I might try and pick up a shift to make up for some of the ones I lost last week,” Baekhyun let him know, not wanting Yixing to waste his time if he really did get bummed when he wasn’t the one serving him.

“Oh,” Yixing said, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment.

“But Jongin might be here. I can ask him. I know he’s your new fave,” Baekhyun teased him.

“Would you like to go get coffee tomorrow then?” Yixing blurted out, and his face seemed to go a little pale after he had.

Baekhyun blinked because those were the last words he had been expecting out of his regular’s mouth.

“Wait, what?” Baekhyun asked.

“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have asked…”

“No, it’s… I just wasn’t expecting that,” Baekhyun said smiling at him, still a little stunned.

“I had worked up the courage to ask you last week, but then you weren’t here so I took it as a sign that I shouldn’t ask you, but…”

“I don’t say no to free coffee,” Baekhyun told him with a small smirk.

“You don’t… so does that mean…”

“What time should I meet you? And which coffee shop?”

Yixing gave him the details and Baekhyun insisted that he was looking forward. Once Yixing had paid his bill and left, Baekhyun went straight to Jongdae at the bar and told him.

“My regular just asked me out on a date.”

“About time,” Jongdae said as he put dirty glasses in the bin.

“What do you mean about time?”

“No one comes here for our tacos, Baek. We’re literally next to a pretty decent Mexican restaurant. Don’t play dumb.”

It had never occurred to him before that Yixing was coming specifically to see him, he just always assumed he liked the vibe of the place and enjoyed Baekhyun’s service.

“Where’s he taking you?” Jongdae asked.

“Coffee.”

“Hm, pretty tame for you.”

“I’ve turned a new leaf. This is exactly the kind of date the new me wants to go on. Overpriced coffee while hipster music plays in the background. It’s going to be a great date.”

“I hope it is,” Jongdae told him with a chuckle. “I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

Baekhyun couldn’t wait to tell him about it either. Yesterday when he had spoken with his therapist, it had been clear that what Baekhyun needed was to find healthier ways to have a good time. It had been pure kismet that this opportunity had found him right when he needed it most. Yixing was super cute, with amazing dimples, and he seemed very kind. Baekhyun felt good about this date.


	31. Two Blended Coffee Drinks

Chanyeol arrived to his shift just in time to clock in before he was a second late. He hummed as he walked over to the kitchen and held out a blended mocha drink for Kyungsoo.

“What’s this?” Kyungsoo asked, both a smile and a suspicious raised eyebrow upon his face. Chanyeol did love his duality.

“I’m wooing you,” Chanyeol told him, taking a sip from his own blended vanilla drink.

“You’re ridiculous,” Kyungsoo said shaking his head, and then he took a sip before going back to work.

Maybe he was ridiculous, but he was also determined to make Kyungsoo really his, especially now that he and Baekhyun had agreed to stay out of each other’s lives. At least he thought that might be what they had agreed upon. He still didn’t fully understand what had happened between them in the hospital room that day.

“Where’s mine?” Jongdae asked him as he headed to the bar.

“I’m not trying to woo you,” Chanyeol told him.

“Basic friendship rules,” Jongdae told him.

Chanyeol laughed and put his drink down by the register, jumping in to take the next set of customers that had just sat at the bar.

He was grateful that Baekhyun wasn’t in, as it gave him a chance to breathe a bit and not have to worry about interacting with him. The day before he hadn’t known quite how to work with him, surprised that he had even come in to work in the first place. But today, he chilled and had fun and remembered all over again why he actually _liked_ working at Barry’s.

When his shift ended, he clocked out right on time and waited for Kyungsoo by the box, leaning like a high schooler relaxed against his locker as he tried to flirt with his crush.

“Is this more wooing?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Yep,” Chanyeol told him with a goofy smile.

“Get a room,” Jongdae told them as he clocked out.

“Are you headed to the Hotel of Love now?” Chanyeol asked him.

“Dick,” Jongdae said, shoving his arm, making Chanyeol laugh at his own stupid joke.

“Why don’t you ever get us a hotel room?” Kyungsoo asked him, and Chanyeol knew from the sly look on his face that he was telling his own joke.

“You’re not doing it right,” Jongdae told Chanyeol.

“If you want a hotel room, I will get you a hotel room,” Chanyeol proclaimed.

“The beauty of a hotel room,” Jongdae said, “Is that you never have to clean up after your own mess.”

“Ew!” Chanyeol yelled, rather dramatically, but there were images he did not need put in his mind.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Jongdae said whining loud enough to be heard over the loud mariachi music playing at the Mexican restaurant next door.

“Keep that shit to yourself!”

“I meant like leaving towels on the floor of the bathroom after you shower, you fucking perv!”

“I’m so scarred!”

“You did it to yourself!”

Chanyeol felt rather traumatized, but he had to laugh when he saw how adorable Kyungsoo looked laughing at them.

“Thanks, guys, I’m deaf now,” Wendy said clocking out.

“Jongdae has scarred me for life,” Chanyeol complained, pointing to his best friend as if needing to add the physical accusation.

“It’s his own fault,” Jongdae defended.

“Is everything okay over here?” Junmyeon asked, rounding the corner in a state of concern.

“Everything’s fine, we were just…” Chanyeol noticed Jongdae slink away behind Kyungsoo and out the back door in a very sudden movement, “Yeah, we’re good,” he said with a big smile. “Just leaving.”

“Have a good night,” Junmyeon said, very much having noticed that as well.

Chanyeol held Kyungsoo’s hand as they left the restaurant and caught up with Jongdae who was striding with purpose toward his car.

“Um, you want to tell me what that’s about?” Chanyeol asked him, his long legs no match for Jongdae, although Kyungsoo did have to run-walk to keep up.

“What?” Jongdae asked.

“You taking off the moment Junmyeon showed up?”

“Oh,” Jongdae waved off. “He just doesn’t like me, so I try to stay off his radar as much as possible.”

“Since when doesn’t he like you?”

“Take a guess.”

Chanyeol hadn’t realized this, and he wondered if he had been missing signs of this all along.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jongdae passed his hand through his hair and shrugged.

“What difference does it make? It’s not like there’s anything you can do about it.”

“I’m gonna talk to him…”

“Chanyeol, no.” Jongdae said putting his hand up.

But Chanyeol was upset to hear this, and he looked at Jongdae feeling a bit helpless as he bit his bottom lip in thought.

“It’s not your issue to deal with,” Jongdae explained. “It’s my issue. I’ll handle it.”

“By disappearing every time Junmyeon pops up? By walking on egg shells all day in the place that you work? That’s not fair.”

“Nothing about this is fair,” Jongdae said, looking down for a moment.

Chanyeol realized he had been so caught up in dealing with Baekhyun and trying to hold onto and not lose Kyungsoo that he hadn’t been checking in properly on his best friend.

“Let’s go bowling,” Chanyeol said.

Both Jongdae and Kyungsoo looked at him and said, “What?”

“We are young, the night is still almost young, and we should be having fun. Let’s go bowling. I’ll buy the first pitcher of beer.”

“I’m kind of exhausted,” Kyungsoo said.

“So am I,” Jongdae added.

“You guys are saying no to free beer?” Chanyeol looked shocked by this, maybe laying it on thick to get them to laugh and finally agree.

“Loser brings his best friend a fun coffee drink on his next shift,” Jongdae said.

“Cute,” Chanyeol said, “Okay, how about this, if I lose, I’ll bring you a coffee drink. When you lose, you order me pizza from that one overpriced pizza place that’s annoyingly good.”

“When you both lose, you can bring me a coffee drink and a pizza from that place,” Kyungsoo told them.

“If you lose,” Jongdae said to Kyungsoo, “You have to bring me three scoops from that stupidly expensive ice cream place down the block.”

“Same,” Chanyeol told him.

“Alright, you’re on,” Kyungsoo said.

The three men dispersed to their separate cars and then met up at the nearest bowling alley, Chanyeol getting them a pitcher of beer to start them off as promised as they talked a big game about beating the other while consistently throwing gutter ball after gutter ball.

So maybe none of them would be quitting Barry’s anytime soon to join the pro bowling circuit, but they laughed a lot and had the type of fun that made it seem that everything was, and could be, perfectly fine.


	32. Cheese Board

Due to recent events, Baekhyun hadn’t quite had the chance to do laundry, so he went through Jongdae’s closet to try and find the perfect outfit for a coffee date. He thought some nice jeans and a Polo might do the trick, but then he thought about how Yixing always came into Barry’s to eat his tacos – obviously fresh from the office in a button down and slacks with his sleeves rolled up just a bit. Yixing was clearly the sophisticated type, so he went back to his own closet and looked through his audition clothes instead, finding… more jeans.

But honestly, his hips deserved to be showed off in a great pair of jeans, so he picked the most “sophisticated” of his jeans collection and threw on a short-sleeved button down, meeting Yixing’s style halfway.

He styled his hair up and away from his face to try and look more mature, and then grabbed his keys and headed to the high-end coffee shop that was walking distance from Barry’s. He really hoped he didn’t run into anyone from work there so he could focus completely on his date and act like someone who could one hundred percent totally be on a date with a sophisticated man.

Yixing stood waiting for him outside, dressed in slacks and a cotton shirt, which made Baekhyun smile – he clearly had considered meeting Baekhyun half-way on the style as well.

“Hey,” Baekhyun said once he stood in front of him, and Yixing put his dimples on full display.

“Hey,” he said back, and then opened the door for him.

Baekhyun thanked him and stood in line with him. A good crowd was settled in, but enough tables were open for them to make a good pick.

“I hope you weren’t waiting long,” Baekhyun said as he considered a cold brew.

“No, I arrived just a few minutes before you did,” he said. “Do you know what you want?”

“Um, no, what are you getting?”

“I always get a cappuccino.”

“Oh, you’re a regular here too?’

“Hey,” the girl behind the register said once it was their turn. “Your usual?” She asked him.

“Um, yes please,” Yixing said with a small tinge of pink on his cheeks. “And…” He looked toward Baekhyun.

“I’ll have a macchiato,” Baekhyun ordered.

“And we’ll also have a cheese Danish, a ham and cheese croissant, and the cheese board,” Yixing added.

“You got it,” the girl said, ringing them up.

Baekhyun looked at him with an amused smile, and Yixing explained, “You like cheese,” which made Baekhyun smile even wider.

They found a perfect table for two near the window, but toward the back, affording them both a view and quiet privacy.

“Do you work around here?” Baekhyun asked him to break the ice while they waited for their food and drinks. “Since you’re a regular at all these places.”

“Yes,” Yixing confirmed. “I also live around here. This is my neighborhood coffee shop.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Baekhyun remarked, but then he thought about how expensive the area was, so he asked, “What exactly is it that you do? It must be important since you’re always on your iPad working.” Baekhyun gave him a teasing smirk.

“I’m a Mechanical Engineer,” he stated.

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, thinking that made sense, but still not expecting it. “So you’re like really smart.”

“No,” Yixing said with a humble smile. “I just work hard.”

“What college did you go to?”

“Stanford.”

“Okay so you’re crazy smart,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“I studied a lot,” Yixing, once again, humbly stated. “Did you go to college?”

“UCLA. I was a theater major.”

“So you’re also crazy smart.”

“I don’t think Theater and Engineering qualify as the same kind of smart,” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “But I did really well.”

“Is that what you really want to do then?” Yixing asked, looking very intrigued. “Theater?”

“It’s what I do. I’m currently living out all my wildest fantasies, while simultaneously making my parents incredibly proud, as I live the life of a struggling actor waiting tables while I wait for my big break.”

Yixing’s face appeared to be a mix of awe and fondness, and he asked, “Have you been in anything I would know?”

“Other than some student films, the only other credit I have on my resume was one episode of a short-lived Nickelodeon show where I played one of the best friends of the main character who was a middle school student with the ability to become invisible.”

“You started that young?” Yixing asked surprised.

“I was 19,” Baekhyun told him, and Yixing let out of a soft chuckle. “I’ve always looked too young for my age. It’s the bane of my existence.”

“I did wonder how old you were when I first saw you,” Yixing said. “At first sight, I thought you were too young to really be my server, but then the more I watched you, you carried yourself like someone older.”

“And just how long have you been watching me?” Baekhyun asked with a little smirk. He could flirt with the best of them.

“Since that first day,” Yixing admitted, looking a little shy about it.

“Why didn’t you ask me out sooner then?”

“I didn’t think you’d say ‘yes’,” he stated, and Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, but let him continue, “You’re… well you’re obviously very cool. Everyone at the restaurant treats you like you’re the coolest person there. I’m just your average engineering nerd. I knew we probably wouldn’t have anything in common and there’d be no point.”

“So then what made you ask me out?”

“My friends told me it was creepy that I was essentially stalking you at your job and that either I did something about it or stopped going.”

“I knew I liked your friends,” Baekhyun pointed out, remembering them well from that one brunch they came in with Yixing.

Their coffees and treats were brought out to them, and both men took a sip of their coffee before continuing their conversation.

“I’m surprised you agreed to this date,” Yixing stated as he cut off a piece of one of the cheeses on the cheese board and placed it on a baguette slice. “I thought for sure you’d be seeing someone or already taken.”

“I could say the same for you. A successful engineer with the cutest dimples on the planet,” Baekhyun pointed out with a smile as he helped himself to some cheese on a baguette slice as well. “How are you not taken?”

“I don’t get out much,” Yixing admitted. “I wake up, go to work, stop by here for lunch, go back to work, stop by Barry’s for dinner, go back to work, and when I feel I’ve accomplished what I can for the day, I go home and sleep, then wake up and do it all over again.”

Baekhyun blinked at him a few times and finished eating what was in his mouth, but before he could respond, Yixing spoke again.

“I know. It’s a little pathetic.”

“No,” Baekhyun shook his head. “I mean, I wouldn’t use the word pathetic. It’s just… when do you have fun?”

“Dinner at Barry’s is quite fun.”

“I’m your only source of entertainment?” Baekhyun said with a small chuckle. “We need to fix that, Xing. Don’t you go clubbing or to bars?”

“I’ll meet my friends for happy hour or dinner once in a while.”

“That must not be often because you’re always having dinner at Barry’s.”

“Do you go clubbing and to bars?” Yixing asked him back.

“I practically live at clubs and bars,” Baekhyun admitted, then thought that maybe he shouldn’t have. They really didn’t appear to have a single thing in common. “I’m a social person so I go out a lot.”

“I can see that about you.”

Baekhyun made himself another snack from the cheese plate and asked, “I think you might be right that we don’t have a lot in common, but something must have made you like me. Was it just my boyish looks?” He teased.

“It was your energy,” Yixing stated, as if Baekhyun had asked him a question as simple as what was one plus one. “I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re like a photon.”

“That’s a science thing, isn’t it?” Baekhyun said with a small laugh.

“Yeah, it’s um… I don’t know how else to really describe it. And you were always so nice to me. I know you had to be because of tips and stuff, but it seemed genuine.”

“It is genuine,” Baekhyun confirmed. “I like to think I’m really good at my job thank you very much.”

“You are,” Yixing said with a nod as he cut the ham and cheese croissant in half for them. “Do you like the cheese board?”

“I do. I’ve had a cheese board before but the cheese wasn’t as fancy as this.”

“They get theirs from a local cheese store.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Baekhyun said. “So where do you work? Maybe I should go stalk you for a change,” he joked as he accepted the piece of the croissant that Yixing had cut for him.

“We rent a space in the building up the street, just off La Brea.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed.

“You rent a space?”

“Yes, my two friends and I, the ones you met, we met while working at JPL. We decided to try our luck at starting our own company. They’re quite brilliant so it wasn’t that big of a risk to take. We’re doing pretty well and have a number of big contracts.”

“You own your own company?” Baekhyun needed to confirm.

“It’s just the three of us, and an assistant, but yes, a small company.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun said, chasing his flaky croissant down with another sip of coffee. “Unlike my parents, your parents must be over the moon proud of you.”

“They were both engineers as well, so it was to be expected.”

“Where are you from?”

“I’m from Sunnyvale. Up north. Near San Jose. What about you?”

“Fullerton,” Baekhyun said. “So you live around here too, you said. By yourself?”

“Yes, I live alone. Over a block,” he said, gesturing toward the street to the left of them.

“Wait, you live that close?” Baekhyun asked, and Yixing nodded, then Baekhyun smirked and asked, “Then why are we not at your place?”

Yixing coughed while he was taking his sip of coffee and carefully put his cup down as he looked at him to see if he was joking or not.

“Oh,” Yixing then said, when Baekhyun hadn’t quite lost the smirk. “Um, I just thought we’d get to know each other first.”

“So, not a hook up on the first date kind of guy,” Baekhyun noted, laughing, maybe a little self-consciously at not being immediately taken to his place. This was certainly different for him.

“No,” Yixing said with a shake of the head. “I like to get to know people first. Are you a hook up on the first date person?”

“I…,” Baekhyun wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Yixing had been cool with his answers so far, but he had a feeling that he might be close to a line he shouldn’t cross if he wanted this date to keep going. “I like to play things by ear,” he said, thinking that was a safe answer.

“Oh,” Yixing said as if understanding. “It makes sense. You seem like the spontaneous type.”

“I’m very spontaneous. Too spontaneous sometimes,” Baekhyun admitted. “But, you’re obviously the careful type. I respect that.”

“You find me boring.”

“No! I didn’t say that at all.”

“You don’t have to. I imagine someone like you would find me boring.”

“I don’t really find anyone boring. I like meeting people, and everyone is unique in their own way. It’s fun to see how.”

Yixing smiled wide at this, then stared at him for a moment before saying, “You’re such a photon.”

“Did I just do something photony?” Baekhyun asked, not sure why Yixing had thought that all of a sudden.

“It’s your energy again. Sorry,” he looked down, studying his coffee for a moment.

“What are you sorry about? I’m an actor remember? I need applause to live. Give me all the compliments you got. Just throw them my way. I’ll take them all.” Baekhyun stretched his arms out as if in preparation.

Yixing laughed at him and shook his head, and they continued to chip away at the cheese board and then the Danish, learning little things about the other. Baekhyun found that he enjoyed the calm and pleasant company of his and the coffee shop’s regular.

When it was time for them to leave, Baekhyun opened the door for Yixing instead and stopped to stare at him a little before truly parting.

“This was fun,” Baekhyun told him, not sure why his face was smiling so much right now, but it really couldn’t stop. Yixing just made him smile for no reason.

“It was,” Yixing said, also smiling. “Maybe I can take you out to dinner the next night you have off?”

“I never say no to free dinner,” Baekhyun answered, and Yixing chuckled at the response he should have expected. He let him know what his next night off was, and then asked, “Do you not kiss on the first date either?”

“I usually save that for the second date,” Yixing said, almost apologetically. “Depending on how it goes.”

“Then I’ll look forward to dinner,” Baekhyun told him.

“I’m looking forward as well,” Yixing said. “I’ll see you then. Please drive carefully.”

“I will,” Baekhyun said, almost wanting to call him “dad” for that advice, but that would have been weird, so instead he said, “Please walk carefully.”

Yixing laughed, and nodded, putting his hand up in a wave as he walked in the direction of his home.

It occurred to Baekhyun, as he got into his car, that never in his life had he ever gone on a date with someone and not at least kissed, much less made out or hooked up. And he found that he hadn’t minded at all.


	33. Scrambled Eggs

Jongdae had a bad habit of eavesdropping on Minseok’s phone conversations with Luhan. He didn’t mean to, but whenever they spent the night with each other, Minseok usually woke up before him and then spent time on the phone checking in with his husband or vice versa.

Minseok always tried to be discreet about it, either going out into their hotel balcony, or out into the hotel hallway if they weren’t able to get a room with a balcony, and this time, only the second time he had spent over at Jongdae’s, he had gone into his bathroom to do it, which hadn’t been smart on Minseok’s part, because even though Minseok tried to speak in a softer voice, the acoustics of Jongdae’s bathroom were quite great. Baekhyun had complained many times about it, banging on the wall whenever Jongdae sang in the shower and letting him know that he could hear him over the living room television.

“I can make us an appointment for a couple’s massage tomorrow morning,” Minseok was saying, and Jongdae thought that the idea of a couple’s massage with Minseok sounded rather nice. “Do you want to go out to eat when you get in tonight?” The idea of Minseok taking Jongdae out to eat was nice as well. He had never actually taken Jongdae on a real date before, which made sense, because they weren’t dating. “I’m sorry your day’s been rough. I’ll make it all better when I see you tonight.” Jongdae sighed and wondered what fun thing he could do that night, since he’d be alone contemplating his loneliness.

It had been a bit pathetic on his part, spending a great night out bowling with Chanyeol and Kyungsoo only to text Minseok to see if he was still awake after. Luckily he was, and Jongdae had asked if he wanted to come over since it was too late for a hotel. He mostly had done it because he knew Luhan would be coming in that night, and he’d have to go three days without hooking up with him, which suddenly felt like three days too many.

He knew he had a problem.

Minseok came out of the bathroom and Jongdae pretended to be mid-stretch, blinking his eyes open and smiling at him.

“Hey,” Jongdae said, with a little sleepy smile.

“Hey,” Minseok said, smiling back at him, and taking him in for a moment before saying, “I should get going.”

“You can’t stay for breakfast?”

“I wish I could, but I have to run a ton of errands before… anyway, but I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”

Jongdae nodded and got up from the bed as Minseok grabbed his things and put on his socks and shirt. He walked him to the door, waiting for Minseok to put his shoes on before tugging him close by his shirt and giving him a goodbye kiss, which Minseok very whole-heartedly reciprocated.

“See you tomorrow,” Jongdae said.

“See you,” Minseok said with a smile.

Jongdae closed the door behind him, and turned to see Baekhyun emerging from the kitchen, eating a bowl of cereal and giving him a curious look.

“I know,” Jongdae said before Baekhyun could utter a word.

He walked to the kitchen to get himself some cereal as well, or maybe he’d make himself some eggs.

“I mean, you’re the one that said you didn’t want him staying over,” Baekhyun shrugged. “Is this the first time?”

“Second.”

“When was the first time?” Baekhyun acted affronted. “Have you been sneaking him in and out of here without my permission?” And then he dropped the act and laughed.

“The first time was when you were in the hospital and he thought I shouldn’t be alone.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, getting serious again. “That was… nice of him.”

“That was the night I told him that I wished he had met me first.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, a little surprised by this. “What did he say to that?”

“That things certainly would have been different.”

“Yikes,” Baekhyun said, grimacing.

“Yeah,” Jongdae said, closing the pantry and heading to the fridge, thinking eggs would be better. He suddenly felt like cracking things open and beating them to a pulp.

“Well, I mean, he could have said nothing? So like, it’s better than that?”

“I’ve gone through all these thought processes myself,” Jongdae assured him, taking out two eggs to scramble. “I just don’t know how I went from being cool to just hooking up with him to wanting to be with him all the time and wishing he was mine. Like how did that happen?”

“Well he does lead you on a lot,” Baekhyun pointed out, putting his empty bowl in the sink and reaching into the fridge to pull out two more eggs, which he put next to Jongdae’s with a little shameless giggle. The brat.

Jongdae pretended to give him a small glare, but then asked, “What makes you say that?” as he now began preparing scrambled eggs for him and his child.

“I mean, you started off as a booty call, but then he was actually attentive to you, and then the hotel room probably made you feel a bit special, and then he was here for you when you needed him. These aren’t things a married man should be doing for someone else. Like, it’s getting emotional on both sides.”

“I don’t think it’s getting that emotional on his side,” Jongdae admitted, knowing he was the problem. He finished whisking the eggs and poured them into the hot pan.

“It seems like it’s getting more emotional on his side than it should have,” Baekhyun shrugged. “I’m not an expert, but if any guy treated me as nicely as Minseok treats you, I’d be attached too.”

“Oh look, a perfect segue to get off this crappy topic,” Jongdae said, “So didn’t you go on a date yesterday? Am I to assume you weren’t into him or something since you appear to have woken up here? Or is your regular asleep in your room?”

“Hahaha,” Baekhyun said. “Actually it did go well. We had coffee and polite conversation. And I discovered that not only does he not hook up on the first date, but he doesn’t even kiss. Apparently he does this after the second date, but only depending on how the date goes.”

“Wow,” Jongdae said, looking toward him to make sure he wasn’t joking. “That’s pretty tame for you.”

“It was different, but I didn’t mind it. I was kind of amused by it. He’s really amusing. And rich. He’s so rich, Dae.”

“How rich?”

“He lives by himself and owns his own company with big contracts.”

“Holy shit,” Jongdae said, looking at Baekhyun for confirmation, which he received with a simple nod. “It looks like Kibum’s not the only one who found himself a sugar daddy.”

Baekhyun laughed and then shook his head, “He’s not like that though. He’s very… conservative, I guess. He doesn’t even go to clubs or hang out at bars really. He just works all day and comes to see me at Barry’s.”

Jongdae plated the eggs for them and grabbed himself a glass of milk, then both of them began to eat from the plate as they stood in the kitchen and continued conversing.

“And you’d have fun dating a guy like that?” Jongdae asked him.

“I find him endearing. I don’t know how to explain it. And being around him makes me smile for no reason. Probably part of his endearing thing. And he thinks I’m a photon.”

“A photon?” Jongdae asked with a dubious expression. “Like a light particle?”

“Is that what that is? I was trying to figure it out the whole time. He’s an engineer so I figured that was just how engineers flirted.”

“He’s an engineer?” Jongdae asked, knowing he kept doing that, but this information was frankly not what he had expected. “So when’s your second date?”

“Tomorrow night. I work the morning shift tomorrow, which is gonna suck because I work tonight.”

Jongdae nodded and then noticed Baekhyun bite his lip after he finished his eggs.

“What are you thinking?” Jongdae asked him as he took another drink of his milk.

“Yixing and I are too different. I’m not sure this second date is going to go well.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because he’s a very nice guy, and very simple, and doesn’t appear to have any drama in his life at all. I, on the other hand, am the walking definition of drama. I just don’t think he’s going to like me very much the more he finds out about me.”

“You can’t think like that,” Jongdae told him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “He likes the you he’s seen so far. Don’t hide who you are or try to be someone you think he’ll like. Just be yourself, be honest with him, and if he doesn’t like you for who you are, then he isn’t worth your time.”

“Thanks, although I’m the president of the Forever Alone Club, I will go into the date thinking I still have a chance.”

“That’s the spirit,” Jongdae said.

“So back to you,” Baekhyun said with a smirk.

Jongdae whined and put the plate and glass in the sink, then headed to the living room to drown his sorrows with some escapism.

“Want to watch TV or play a video game?” Jongdae asked Baekhyun.

“Let’s watch something stupid,” Baekhyun said, sitting on the couch beside him. “And talk about what you’re going to do about Minseok.”

“I’m not going to do anything about him. I’m going to leave things as they are until he starts to feel guilty enough to end it.”

“That’s not really healthy.”

“I know,” Jongdae shrugged, clicking through the channels then leaving it on a Spongebob episode.

“Like at the beginning, it seemed like you were having fun with it, but now it seems you’re not too happy.”

“I’m still happy. I’m still having fun with it,” Jongdae stated.

“You seem more like you’re still having fun with it, but instead of being happy, you’re resigned. Maybe you should go out on dates with some other people.”

“I don’t want to go on dates with other people.”

“And therein lies the problem,” Baekhyun said with a small wag of his finger, directed right at him. “He’s got the best of both worlds. A husband and a sidepiece. You need a sidepiece to your sidepiece.”

“Do you ever hear yourself?” Jongdae said staring at his best friend. “Like really hear yourself?”

“Shut up,” Baekhyun said with a cackle. “I’m serious. Go on a date with someone else. It’ll be fun. I actually forgot how fun dating was. Did I tell you he bought me a cheese board?”

“You’re so easy. You would have slept with him over a cheese board,” Jongdae teased him.

“I was ready to sleep with him the moment he held the door open for me. I invented easy.”

“You are so ridiculous.”

“And so are you. I’m going to set you up with someone.”

“Please don’t,” Jongdae tried.

“Consider it already done,” Baekhyun stated, grabbing his phone to start looking through his contacts.

Jongdae sighed and focused instead on the Spongebob episode, which was actually a repeat of an episode he had seen like five times before. Okay, so maybe going on a date with someone else wouldn’t be the worst thing. Especially if it happened in the next few days when he wouldn’t really have any other plans. Maybe this wasn’t the worst of Baekhyun’s ideas. Maybe it was exactly what he needed at the moment.


	34. Grilled Chicken Quesadilla

Kyungsoo came into his and Jongin’s living room with a bouquet of flowers. It was a nice spring mix, sunflowers and orange roses the only two flowers he could actually identify in the bunch. He set them down on the coffee table, sensing the look that Jongin was giving him.

He sat down next to his roommate and said, “Just say it.”

“Flowers?” Jongin asked.

“He’s wooing me.”

“How long is this going to last for?”

“I have no idea. I didn’t ask him to woo me. He chose this path. Who am I to say no to a good wooing?”

Jongin paused the game he had been playing and turned to face him, holding a pillow in his lap.

“The fact that you’re enjoying this wooing thing so much makes me think you’d be perfectly fine if things stayed like this for the two of you.”

“I mean… who doesn’t like being spoiled, right?” Kyungsoo shrugged.

“Minho used to spoil you a lot too,” Jongin said with a small laugh. “You have a way with the guys you date. They always want to shower you with gifts and attention.”

Kyungsoo bit his lip, wondering if Jongin was trying to make a point. His ex had always spoiled him, but in the end it hadn’t been enough to make him stay.

“Do you want me to find someone to spoil you?” Kyungsoo offered.

Jongin shook his head, then said, “You said before that you wanted Chanyeol to be your boyfriend. The Baek thing seems to have calmed down, and we all know it’s never really going to go away, but Chanyeol hasn’t hooked up with him since that last time. Are you not making it official with him because you really are enjoying this wooing thing, or are you just scared that you’ll be stuck in a Minho situation again?”

“Chanyeol and Minho are two very different people.”

“But you are very much you.”

“What are you trying to say?” Kyungsoo said, narrowing his eyes and finally confronting him to figure out what this was about.

“You know what I’m trying to say,” Jongin challenged back. “You like the idea of relationships and then hate being in them once you’re in them. You wanted to be with Minho so bad. You wouldn’t shut up about him and how good-looking, and tall, and intelligent, and nice he was. And then you start dating him and then two months into your relationship, you’re already regretting getting involved because it’s interfering with your dreams and plans.”

“It was,” Kyungsoo defended. “But again, Minho and Chanyeol are two different types of people. Minho didn’t understand my dreams and plans, but Chanyeol does.”

“So then why string Chanyeol along? Just be his boyfriend already,” Jongin said, and Kyungsoo noticed the frustrated tone in his voice.

“Now suddenly you support me being his boyfriend?” Kyungsoo asked, feeling even more confused by this conversation. “You don’t even like Chanyeol.”

“I never liked Minho either. You have really shitty taste in men.”

Kyungsoo knew Jongin felt this way, and he had a feeling he knew why Jongin never liked anyone he dated, so he tried to tread carefully with the question he wanted to ask.

“Why do you want me to be with Chanyeol all of a sudden?”

Jongin shook his head and looked down at his hands, clutching the pillow tighter to his chest.

Kyungsoo bit his bottom lip in contemplation as he stared at his best friend, and he had a slight inkling as to what the answer could be, but he had never wanted to really think about it. But maybe now he had to think about it. Maybe the unspoken truths between them had finally reached their threshold.

Kyungsoo passed his fingers through Jongin’s hair, to smooth it back a little, and to comfort him as well.

“You know I care a lot about you, right?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“You should. I’m your best friend,” Jongin said, still looking at his hands.

“You are. And I think that in life people play very different roles, and none is more important than best friend.”

Jongin sighed and looked up at him, Kyungsoo’s hand falling, and he pulled it back onto his own lap.

“You don’t have to try and make me feel better,” Jongin told him. “I know you’ve never seen me as anything but a little brother. Like it’s my fault I was born almost a whole year younger than you.”

Kyungsoo didn’t quite know what to say to that, so he looked down at Jongin’s hands instead and stared at the small indentations they were making in the pillow.

“It’s not your fault,” Jongin then said. “You can’t help who you like. I happen to know that really well. I’ve tried to stop liking you, but it doesn’t work.”

It’d be so much easier if he did feel about Jongin the way he felt about Chanyeol. Jongin was so easy going and caring, and always knew how to put a smile on his face. And he was beautiful. Kyungsoo wasn’t blind. Jongin was a catch in every sense of the word. And yet…

Kyungsoo still didn’t know what to say, but he knew he had to say something, so he looked back at Jongin and said, “Maybe after I agree to be Chanyeol’s boyfriend and it all comes crashing down around me, I’ll come crawling to you and begging you to give me a chance.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Jongin said with a small smile. “I think you and Chanyeol are going to live happily ever after. But, you know, for that to happen, you have to give him the chance to be your boyfriend. So back to my original question. What are you still waiting for?”

“Answer mine first. Why are you suddenly okay with it?”

“I’m not, but… I don’t know,” Jongin sighed. “I feel I can deal with it better if you guys were together already. Like, that’s an absolute truth that can’t be changed, so I’d just have to accept it and move on, as opposed to this wooing thing, which feels like you’re still technically available. Not for me, obviously. It’s hard to explain. I don’t want you with him, but if you’re going to be with him, then just be with him already. So your turn, what are you waiting for?”

Kyungsoo tried to process Jongin’s non-explanation, and supposed he could understand needing something resolved to better move on from it. It was, after all, the reason and answer to Jongin’s own question to him.

“I want the assurance that he is really done with Baekhyun.”

“You don’t think you have that yet?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe I’ll try and figure it out on tonight’s shift.”

Jongin nodded and then gave a loud yawn as he stretched one arm up.

“I need to take a nap before my shift tonight,” he said, letting go of the pillow finally as he got up.

“Have a good nap,” Kyungsoo told him with a warm smile.

Kyungsoo wished he could explain to Jongin just how much he really appreciated him, and needed him, but he knew it wouldn’t matter. It was never enough for someone who wanted more.

He took a nap himself and then the both of them rode into work together, clocking in and parting ways.

“But you think he’s cute, right?” Baekhyun was saying, standing in the kitchen as he talked to Seulgi.

“Is he even into girls?” Seulgi asked him, and Kyungsoo stepped around them to get to where Heechul was having a word with the chicken on the grill.

“I can take it from here,” Kyungsoo said, patting Heechul on the back as he took the spatula.

“It disrespected me,” Heechul said, giving it one last glare before he moved on to another station.

“Thank God you’re here,” Jorge said, and Kyungsoo chuckled at him.

“Yeah, he’s totally bi,” Baekhyun said, moving to the window to collect his orders. “Just think it over. Hey, guys, where’s my grilled chicken quesadilla? The rest of my food is dying.”

“Coming right up,” Jorge said.

Kyungsoo had half a mind to put new chicken on the grill, mostly because Heechul really had destroyed this one in his own special way. But since it was going into a quesadilla, it wouldn’t really matter how it looked. So he chopped it up and put it on the hot and cheesy tortilla that luckily Heechul hadn’t ruined.

He put the plate in the window, and Baekhyun grabbed it and headed out, just as Chanyeol came in and moved to the side to let him pass by, neither acknowledging the other.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said with a smile as he came over to him. “So, during our break today, I have a surprise.”

“The flowers weren’t enough of a surprise?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“That was just the warm up.”

“Are you taking me for a romantic dinner in a flower shop?” Kyungsoo teased him, turning to work on the next order.

“Just wait and see,” Chanyeol said, grabbing his plates for his bar customers and disappearing from the kitchen.

Kyungsoo didn’t want to wait and see, and he tried to not be too excited about whatever Chanyeol had planned next. The thing was, maybe he was dragging this all out too much, but there was no guarantee that Chanyeol would keep this behavior up once he agreed to be his boyfriend, so why not enjoy it now, maybe just a little longer? He was having fun, and part of him felt that Chanyeol was having fun with this too.

It did bother him that seeing it annoyed Jongin, but Kyungsoo intellectually knew that was Jongin’s issue to deal with, not his. That part sucked though, but not enough to keep him from wanting whatever this was to continue. So he decided not to feel bad as he looked forward to whatever Chanyeol had planned for them that night.


	35. Chili Queso & Chips

Chanyeol had several things on his mind, but the most pressing was making sure his lunch break date with Kyungsoo was perfect. His intent was a simple one – make Kyungsoo happy and forget that he was even at work. It’d be fun. Now if only he could make time fast forward so he could get to that part of the night already.

He finished making a martini and an Old Fashioned and put them on a tray that was picked up promptly by Baekhyun and whisked away.

“How long is this going to keep going on?” Jongdae asked him, shimmying over to him as he danced to the same Prince song that always came on in the playlist rotation around this time.

“Forever I think,” Chanyeol shrugged, wiping down his counter really quick before looking at the next order.

“It just doesn’t seem realistic,” Jongdae pointed out. “Eventually, the two of you are going to be forced to say more than two or three words to each other.”

“This was his doing, not mine,” Chanyeol said, grabbing a beer glass and heading to the tap.

“Neither of you has told me what went down at that hospital after I left. He won’t tell me what you guys talked about, and you haven’t brought it up to me once.”

“He told me to move on and that he could take care of himself now. I got everything I wanted. So I’m focusing all my attention on wooing Kyungsoo and finally making him my boyfriend since now we can be together in peace.”

Jongdae said nothing as Chanyeol filled up the beer glass and put it on the tray then grabbed another empty glass to repeat the process.

“This doesn’t seem peaceful,” Jongdae mentioned. “But okay. I guess this is fine for now.”

It would have to be fine for now, and Chanyeol hoped it was fine forever. He knew Jongdae was right. It wasn’t peaceful. There was a weird tension between them, but it didn’t seem like anything that would come to a head. It just was what it was, and for now, it was fine with Chanyeol.

What wasn’t fine, however, was Jongdae tensing up again when Junmyeon came by the bar area to check out how things were going. Once Junmyeon left to check out the basement, Chanyeol told Jongdae he was going on his break, but before clocking out, he went to go speak to their general manager.

“Hey, got a second?” Chanyeol said as he walked into the office after Junmyeon and closed the door behind him.

“Not really, but what’s up?” Junmyeon asked.

“Apparently you hating Jongdae is up.”

Junmyeon raised an eyebrow and leaned against the tiny desk, crossing his arms and paying attention.

“I don’t hate Jongdae,” he stated.

“He’s freaked out anytime you come near him.”

Junmyeon sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that as well. When I last spoke to him, I made it clear that I had nothing against him, but he still seems a bit high strung.”

“Did something happen?”

“We had a small disagreement. Nothing for you to be concerned about.”

“I’m his best friend. It’s my concern,” Chanyeol stated, crossing his arms as well as if preparing himself for a verbal battle. “And whatever this disagreement was about, I’m willing to bet it was actually Minseok’s fault, but of course you took your best friend’s side over poor Jongdae, who for the record, is not the one that initiated all this.”

Junmyeon made a motion with his hand for Chanyeol to calm down.

“I’m not denying any of that. And I already apologized to Jongdae for taking something out on him that I was upset at Minseok for. I’m well aware that this is Minseok’s doing for the most part.”

Chanyeol narrowed his eyes a little, then relaxed them, realizing that Junmyeon himself seemed a bit at a loss on this subject.

“What exactly is Minseok doing with Jongdae?” Chanyeol decided to ask. “Like, open relationships are stupid, but fine, if that’s what they wanted to do, then cool, but Minseok’s taking him to hotel rooms now and it all feels a bit intense. Is Minseok not happy in his marriage? Is he trying to get out?”

“No,” Junmyeon shook his head. “Minseok loves Luhan. His unhappiness doesn’t come from problems in their marriage. It comes from the fact that he doesn’t really have a marriage. When Luhan took this job, Minseok wasn’t happy about it because he knew he wouldn’t see Luhan as much as he wanted to, so Luhan threw him a bone and told him they could have an open relationship so that Minseok wouldn’t get too lonely. This thing with Jongdae is Minseok acting out because he’s unhappy about his situation with Luhan. Jongdae makes him happy and makes him forget how upset he is with everything. So, he’s letting himself get more lost in it, but I told him he needed to have a serious conversation with Luhan and figure things out for real. Minseok doesn’t need this job. He doesn’t have to stay. I told him he should quit and just go travel with Luhan, but he’s stubborn and doesn’t want to. He wants to create a home here with him, not live his life in airport lounges.”

Chanyeol knew it couldn’t have been easy for Junmyeon to share all that with him, but he realized that the poor guy didn’t have anyone else to really vent about this to, so Chanyeol decided to return the favor.

“Jongdae is getting really attached. Actually, he’s already too attached.”

“I know,” Junmyeon nodded. “And Minseok knows it too. I told him to end it and find someone else to mess around with, but he likes how Jongdae makes him feel.”

“I’m sure he does,” Chanyeol said. “It just sucks. Jongdae’s going to get seriously hurt in all of this, and Minseok’s just going to go back to the man he loves and live happily ever after.”

“I do feel bad for him,” Junmyeon agreed. “I don’t want him to be scared of me on top of everything else, but I have a feeling that even if I told him to chill, he’d probably still act like this.”

“Unlike Minseok, Jongdae needs this job. His parents don’t help him out financially,” Chanyeol disclosed. “He knows he’s gotten himself into a real mess, but he’s too caught up in Minseok to end it. I guess he’s just hoping for the best.”

“I think we all are,” Junmyeon said, and then let out a loud sigh and stood up straight again. “I’ll talk to Jongdae again and try and fix at least that part of it.”

“Thanks,” Chanyeol said with a nod.

Chanyeol left the manager’s office feeling a little hopeful that at least some of that situation would get fixed, and if not, he had been working with Junmyeon long enough to have no qualms about nagging him until he made sure everything was right again.

Kyungsoo was waiting for him by the clock, and Chanyeol clocked out then told him to wait one second.

He ran to the kitchen to pick up the food he had ordered them along with two bottles of water, and then he grabbed his bag from his locker on his way out as he told Kyungsoo to follow him out the back.

“I smell queso,” Kyungsoo mentioned as he hurried to keep up with Chanyeol’s long legs.

“You smell correctly,” Chanyeol said. “I had the kitchen whip us up some chili queso with a side of tortilla chips.”

“Jorge made it so I’m really excited to eat it now,” Kyungsoo said, and Chanyeol was excited too. Jorge made the best queso.

They arrived at a small park where Chanyeol set up the food on the park bench for them, placing their water bottles on each side of the food, and then reaching into his bag to pull out slim boxes.

“What are those?” Kyungsoo asked, dipping a chip into the queso and eating it, his eyes closing as he made a satisfied sound. “This queso’s amazing.”

“Sparklers,” Chanyeol said with excitement. “I thought it would be fun to play with them during our lunch break, and we could try and spell things out and I was going to take pictures and hoped it look cool.”

Kyungsoo laughed, which was exactly what Chanyeol was going for.

“This is so random,” Kyungsoo said.

“We’re always so busy working or in the studio that we don’t ever just get to play. Last night when we were bowling, I started thinking of what other fun things I used to do as a kid that I don’t do anymore, and it made me think of this.”

“Let’s do it,” Kyungsoo said, standing up while munching on more queso-smothered chips.

Chanyeol handed him a sparkler, and Kyungsoo held it as he let Chanyeol light it, and then he waved it around, laughing and trying to make a letter C for Chanyeol’s name as Chanyeol took a picture with his phone. It was fun, watching him try to make a K, and then a zig zag or just a round motion that made Chanyeol laugh so hard he ended up on the grass, doubled over and hitting the ground repeatedly with his hand.

Kyungsoo took pictures of Chanyeol too, and Chanyeol showed off his proficiency for making stars and hearts, and then too soon they were out of sparklers and sitting back on the bench, annihilating the queso as Chanyeol looked through the pictures.

“God,” he said, and Kyungsoo waited for him to explain, but when he didn’t, he asked him what he was looking at.

“It’s just,” Chanyeol showed him a video he had taken of Kyungsoo with the sparkler when he had tried to make a lightning bolt. “You are so beautiful when you laugh. Like, I’m going to watch this video on repeat every day over and over again.”

Kyungsoo smiled and shoved a queso-laden chip into Chanyeol’s mouth.

“You’re funny when you laugh,” Kyungsoo told him in return. “You laugh with your whole body.”

“I can’t help it,” Chanyeol said, “I’ve always been like that. My whole body reacts to things.”

“I love it,” Kyungsoo said, and Chanyeol smiled wide and fed him some queso back.

Chanyeol really could do this forever. He thought of a million other things he could surprise Kyungsoo with, and even if Kyungsoo never agreed to be his, he’d still have fun trying, which Chanyeol accepted may have to be enough for now.

“Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo said, a bit careful, and suddenly looking a little nervous. “I…”

Chanyeol looked at him as he ate, his full attention on him and his body very upright, anticipating an important thought.

“I do want to be with you,” Kyungsoo let out.

Chanyeol’s heart raced, but he could sense the trepidation in Kyungsoo’s voice.

“But?” Chanyeol asked.

“No, that’s it. I mean, I think I might be ready for us to be officially together.”

Chanyeol swallowed his food very fast and said, “Really? You think or you know?”

“I…” Kyungsoo sighed and let his shoulders drop a little. “I was enjoying being wooed, so I may have let this go on longer than I should have, but tonight I had the thought that maybe things would still be fun like this even once we were together.”

“Fun? Oh the fun has just begun, Kyungsoo Do. I’m the king of fun boyfriends. I only know how to be a fun boyfriend. You think I was spoiling you before? Wait until you see how I spoil you now. Flowers? Psh. Sparklers? So five minutes ago. What even are coffee drinks?”

Kyungsoo laughed again, and Chanyeol wanted to kiss him so bad.

“But tell me you’re not kidding,” Chanyeol said. “Are you 100% sure about this?”

“I’m 99% sure about this.”

“I’ll take it,” Chanyeol said and he leaned over and gave Kyungsoo a kiss, even though Kyungsoo was still laughing at him.

But it was so nice, kissing him in the park at night, both of them smiling as their lips played with the other’s, and Chanyeol now able to call Kyungsoo his boyfriend. He couldn’t screw this up. He wouldn’t screw this up. He would spoil him and make sure he knew he had made the right choice, and whatever that 1% of doubt Kyungsoo had was, Chanyeol was going to make sure and get rid of it for good.


	36. Ten Course Tasting Menu

Baekhyun should have guessed when Yixing had texted him to make sure he dressed up for the evening that he was going to be taken to a fancy restaurant, but when he arrived courtesy of a Lyft ride and saw people walking into the restaurant in dresses and suits, he thought that maybe they wouldn’t let him in with just his black slacks and purple button-down long sleeved shirt. Maybe the black shoes he had managed to find in the back of his closet might give him some extra leverage.

He texted Yixing to let him know he arrived, and of course, received a text saying that he was already inside. Great. He hoped he didn’t have to explain to him why they wouldn’t let him in. But then again, he was an actor, and he knew that if a person acted like they belonged somewhere, then no one tended to question them, so he put on his best fancy person demeanor and faux confidence of a very privileged person and walked right in.

Yixing stood right inside the entrance, looking at his phone, dressed very appropriately in a suit jacket. “Hey,” he said when he saw him, smiling and taking him in.

“This was the most dressed up outfit I had,” Baekhyun admitted.

“You look great,” Yixing told him, then turned to the hostess to let her know they were ready to be seated.

Baekhyun had never been to a fancy French restaurant before, and as Yixing explained how the menu worked, he tried to make sense of the words that were being said. He worked at a restaurant and still some of these dishes seemed foreign to him.

Yixing ordered them a bottle of wine and then let the server know, “We’ll be doing the Ten Course Tasting Menu tonight.”

“Ten courses? So you’re expecting this date to go really well,” Baekhyun joked once their server had left. “That sounds like it’s going to take a long time.”

Yixing chuckled and put his elbows on the table, clasping his hands and leaning his chin against them as he seemed to study Baekhyun.

“I find that enjoying food in stages helps with the course of conversation.”

“Oh, so this is where you bring all your second dates,” Baekhyun surmised.

“Yes, all three of you,” Yixing said. “I unfortunately do not have time to date and have only been on a few, most of which were set up by my friends in an attempt to get me out of the office more.”

“How many of those went past this second date?”

“None of them.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, starting to feel a little nervous. “So, this is like the elimination round? Got it.”

Yixing thought the comment was funny and smiled at him, but Baekhyun hadn’t been kidding.

The wine was brought to them and Yixing did the sniffing and tasting, approving it before the server poured them both their glasses.

“To a hopefully very nice second date,” Yixing toasted, and Baekhyun tapped his glass to his and took a sip, wanting to down the whole thing, but thinking that wouldn’t be in his best interest at the moment.

He thought it was kind of exciting, not quite knowing how this would go, and not knowing exactly what Yixing was going to throw at him. He had never met anyone like him, much less gone on a date with the type of person he was. This was all brand new territory, and even though it was making him nervous, that nervous energy was making Baekhyun feel rather alive at the moment.

The server came back to their table and placed a tiny plate in front of Baekhyun and one in front of Yixing, both plates possessing just three asparagus each, though nicely drizzled with something.

“So, we had touched on our previous date that we were both single,” Yixing began, and he ate his first asparagus. “How many previous relationships have you been in?”

Oh man, this was so a test. And not only was it a test, but it was the kind that starved you throughout it. Baekhyun was going to have to hit up a fast food place when he was done.

“Just two,” Baekhyun admitted, “And you?” He quickly added, hoping that meant Yixing wouldn’t press further about this. He ate an asparagus and smiled.

“Just one,” Yixing said, smiling back at him. “In college. He was my first boyfriend, and the only serious relationship I’ve ever had. Tell me about your two.”

Baekhyun finished the other asparagus and wondered if just one asparagus was called an asparagi.

“Well, my first one was in high school, but it wasn’t like a real relationship because I was out to my parents, but he wasn’t out to his, so we couldn’t really tell anyone about it, so it wasn’t really real, you know? But, my second one was in college, and that’s my first super real relationship like that, so technically we both have that in common.”

“It seems we do,” Yixing said, his eyes lighting up a bit at this. Baekhyun liked making his eyes light up. He hoped he was able to keep doing it throughout the night, and maybe if he did, he’d finally get a kiss from him.

Their plates were taken away and replaced by new little plates, this time with a scallop on each plate. Just one scallop. What was Baekhyun supposed to do with one scallop?

“So you came out to your parents in high school then?” Yixing asked him, portioning off a part of the scallop with his fork.

Baekhyun had half a mind to pick up the scallop with his fingers and just shove the whole thing in his mouth at once, but he copied Yixing instead.

“Yeah, fun times,” Baekhyun said with a small laugh. “How about you?”

“In college, when I told them I had a boyfriend.”

“Oh, how’d that go for you?”

“Not too well,” Yixing said with a small chuckle. “I’m an only child so I dashed all their hopes of a wife and children and so on. I explained to them that after I was married, I intended to hire a surrogate, so they would get their grandchildren regardless. They accepted it over time.”

“Um,” Baekhyun paused and then asked the question he had almost blurted out while Yixing was speaking, “You’ve already planned that far ahead?”

“I plan everything,” Yixing stated. “I know, it makes me boring.”

“No, I just um…” Baekhyun laughed, “I plan nothing.”

“Oh,” Yixing smiled at him and nodded in understanding. “So how did your parents take your coming out?”

“They were surprised for half a second, and then they remembered that I was their crazy, weird theater kid and that they should have seen it coming. Not that all theater kids are gay, but I happen to be a stereotype. Plus, I’m the youngest. I have an older brother who is like the perfect son, married, kids, great job, so they’re more accepting of me being the weird one since he took the pressure off.”

“That's so nice. It must be nice to have a sibling.”

“Yeah, my brother’s awesome,” Baekhyun could admit.

The empty scallop plates were replaced with plates that had two pieces of different looking fish, and the server topped off their wine glasses, which hadn’t been finished yet.

“So why did your college relationship end?” Yixing asked, going for the jugular. Not that he knew it was the jugular for Baekhyun, but still. He mentally counted how many courses they had been through and realized that there were many tough questions still to come.

“What kind of fish is this again?” Baekhyun asked.

“The one on the left is tuna. The other is hamachi.”

“Right,” Bakehyun said, starting with the tuna. “Um, it just ended. You know how college relationships are.” He tried to play it off, though he had a feeling Yixing was too intuitive to let it go.

“I do,” Yixing said as he rather delicately cut a piece of the tuna for himself. “My boyfriend wanted to stay in Northern California, and we didn’t think a long-distance relationship was right for either of us, so we ended it amicably. Do we have that in common?”

“Not exactly,” Baekhyun said, remembering that Jongdae told him to be honest. “My ex is the super tall bartender at Barry’s.”

“Oh,” Yixing said, very surprised by this. “Well it must have ended amicably for the two of you to be able to work together, right?”

“Yeah, you know, we stayed friends.” Okay, had this date taken place like a few weeks ago, that wouldn’t have been a lie, which totally made it a truth.

Once again their plates were cleared, and now Baekhyun didn’t know what he was looking at in front of him.

“Have you had foie grois before?” Yixing asked him.

“Is this what foie grois looks like?” Baekhyun said, curious to try it. “You know, I work in a restaurant, but I’m feeling pretty dumb right now.”

“You shouldn’t,” Yixing told him, “Most people don’t try French cuisine until they are older. It doesn’t always suit younger palates. Scientific studies have been done.”

“That must have been a fun read,” Baekhyun smarted, trying the foie grois and making a face.

“The texture isn’t for everyone,” Yixing said, amused by the reaction.

“That texture should come with a warning,” Baekhyun agreed.

“How many partners have you been with?”

Baekhyun coughed, then amended, “That question should come with a warning.”

“I’m sorry,” Yixing said, reminding him of his wine.

Baekhyun took a very much needed sip.

“Wait, what course are we on?” Baekhyun said counting again. “Fourth? That is not a fourth course question.”

“Shall I save it for the sixth then?”

“Xing, I know the point of dates is to get to know the other person. But don’t you think this is a bit formal? Like, have you ever tried casual conversation and natural flow of topics? Kind of like our coffee date.”

“That’s what the coffee date was for,” Yixing stated. “But, this date is about things I need to know before I decide whether or not I wish to pursue things further with a person.”

“I’m starting to sense why these second dates haven’t been successful for you.”

“Shall we continue?”

Baekhyun sighed and wondered if he could get away with not eating the foie grois. Would the chef be personally offended and kick him out? Then again, he was starving already, so he took another bite of the weird texture thing.

“How may partners have you had?” Baekhyun asked him instead.

“One, my boyfriend.”

Baekhyun pushed his plate away not even bothering to finish it. He figured it didn’t matter since this date probably wouldn’t go past this question.

“You’ve only ever slept with one person?” Baekhyun asked him.

“You really didn’t like the foie grois.”

“You can have it,” Baekhyun told him, and Yixing did eat the rest of it for him.

“Yes,” Yixing confirmed. “My boyfriend. I don’t sleep with people I don’t trust. So how many have you had?”

“More than you,” Baekhyun stated, almost crossing his arms, but reminding himself that it was just a conversation. And Jongdae was right, if Yixing didn’t like him for who he was, then that was Yixing’s loss.

“Two?” Yixing tried.

Baekhyun sighed and started to think, not sure he’d be able to come up with a definitive number. He couldn’t help it if he found sex fun. Did this mean Yixing hadn’t gotten laid since college? The poor guy.

“I don’t know, maybe like 10 or 12,” Baekhyun tried to shrug off.

Yixing stared at him, both shocked and possibly amazed. Baekhyun couldn’t be quite sure.

“10 or 12? You don’t know for sure?”

“I’m not always sober enough to remember exactly what happens at a party,” Baekhyun admitted.

“Do you always use protection at least?”

“That must be the fifth course question,” Baekhyun pointed out as their plates were removed and replaced with another fish.

“Well, yes, it can be,” Yixing said, looking a little disturbed as he turned his attention to his fish. It had been the first time he had taken his eyes off Baekhyun the whole night, which Baekhyun took to be a sign that he had failed the test and Yixing had already written him off.

Baekhyun found that a little sad because he was genuinely curious to know what the remaining courses were. He hoped Yixing didn’t give him the bad news until after they were done.

“I always try to,” Baekhyun told him. “I always have protection with me, and I always mean to use it. It’s just that sometimes things get a little blurry.”

“Did they not have sex ed at your school?” Yixing asked, looking back up at him with concern.

“No, they did. Like I said, I always intended…”

“But they were very clear, at least in my school, that you shouldn’t get drunk and have sex for this very reason. It’s important to always be in control of your situation.”

“Okay, dad,” Baekhyun said, feeling a bit affronted by this judgmental lecture he was getting out of nowhere.

“I’m sorry,” Yixing said, shaking his head rapidly and taking a sip of his wine. “I just feel strongly about safe sex.”

“I can see that,” Baekhyun said. How had their first date been so perfect and their second date so… whatever this was? “So I take it you always use protection.”

“Yes, always,” Yixing said. “Do you get tested?”

“Yes.”

“When was the last time you were tested?”

“Like a month ago.”

“How often do you get tested?”

“I don’t know. Like twice a year?”

Yixing let out an exasperated sigh as he put down his fork, having finished his fish.

“The CDC recommends testing in 3-6 month intervals for sexually active men who have sex with multiple partners. In your case, I very much think you should consider being tested every three months.”

“You know, I don’t date a lot, but this is officially the worst date I’ve ever been on,” Baekhyun let him know. He hadn’t even bothered to touch this round of fish.

Yixing’s eyes fell and he shook his head, though it seemed he was shaking it at himself.

“I’m so sorry,” Yixing said. “I’m not good at this.”

“You were good at it at the coffee shop,” Baekhyun pointed out.

Yixing said nothing to this and the server asked Baekhyun if he was done with his fish. He was and discovered that the chef did not personally kick you out for not eating a dish.

Baekhyun just stared at the next dish and was glad when the server announced that it was squab, though what squab was, he couldn’t be sure.

He cut a piece and was glad the texture wasn’t weird. Whatever squab was, it tasted like chicken.

“Why don’t you ask the next question?” Yixing said, finally speaking again.

He had so many, but he went with the most important one first.

“Why is your appetite so small? Is this food really going to be filling for you? After you leave Barry’s, do you gorge on a ton of food to make up for only having eaten three tacos? And if this is the food you normally eat, then what made you even come into Barry’s in the first place? Also, what the hell is squab?”

Yixing stared at him and a small smile began to form again on his face.

“A squab is a young pigeon.”

“I’m eating a pigeon. Great,” Baekhyun said, nodding as he took another bite.

“This will come as no surprise to you, but I am very careful about my food intake. I attempt to not surpass a certain amount of calories a day, and I try to balance my meals out so they are for the most part healthy. My tacos and beer at Barry’s is my unhealthy meal of the day. And also, my favorite.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows and got the sense that there was something behind that, or at least more to that story.

“Are you trying to lose weight? Because you have a great body, so you don’t need to.”

Yixing appeared to blush slightly, and ran a hand down his shirt a bit self-consciously, “No, I’m. It’s just important to me to stay fit and at the same weight. How do you feel about things like that?”

“I eat a lot of junk food. But when I start to gain too much weight, I usually just not eat to get it back down. I know it’s not healthy, but I’m a man of extremes. I do try and watch my weight as much as I can though since I need to look good for my auditions.”

Yixing nodded, and Baekhyun could tell he wanted to say something, probably some CDC facts about eating disorders, but he stayed silent, and their next course was brought to them.

“Please ask the next question,” Yixing told him as he cut into his small piece of lamb.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure why he felt bad all of a sudden, but Yixing making him ask the questions made him think that he had ruined Yixing’s whole plan for the evening or something. And even though it had been a horrible plan, he figured Yixing wasn’t the type to handle deviating from his plans well.

“No, you should ask it,” Baekhyun told him. “What’s your seventh course question? Let’s hear it.”

There obviously wasn’t going to be a third date, so Baekhyun very much wanted the full experience so he could have a good story to share later about his worst date ever.

“Are you religious?”

“No,” Baekhyun stated. “Nor do I have a political affiliation, which I’m assuming is either the eighth course question or a follow up to go with this one. I tend to vote for all the liberal causes though. What about you? Religion? Political affiliation?”

“I’m Catholic,” Yixing said. “And I also do not have a political affiliation.”

“Oh my God, we have two things in common. Wait, you lean right don’t you?”

“I’m a fiscal conservative and socially liberal.”

“This makes sense,” Baekhyun nodded, eating his lamb. “Was I supposed to bring my tax return to this date? I only got the dress code memo.”

“Do you file your own taxes?”

“Yes, and I lie about my tip amounts every year. Do you file your own taxes?”

“I have an accountant.”

“Right,” Baekhyun sighed and wondered why this course was taking longer than the others. He really wanted to hear the next question and also be closer to his fast food post-dinner. Not that the lamb was bad. It was the best thing he had eaten so far that night, so he mentioned it since there seemed to be too much silence happening. “The lamb’s good. I think it’s my favorite thing so far.”

“Oh, good,” Yixing said with another small smile. “Although I think the next course might be your favorite.” He seemed to blush again, which Baekhyun didn’t understand. Surely, he must have known this date was going badly, right?

“So what’s the next question?” Baekhyun went ahead and asked. “Or ask me the one you skipped when you asked me to ask one.”

“Well, you’ve indicated that you party a lot, and you’ve mentioned not being sober, so I can guess you drink a lot. Do you do drugs?”

Baekhyun laughed. If nothing else had been a deal breaker that night, this would definitely be it. He finished his wine, which was replenished immediately with what was left in the bottle, and Yixing kindly ordered them another one.

At least he knew they’d have to be liquored up to make it through this.

“Okay, I’m just gonna put this out there for you,” Baekhyun said, sitting up straight and leaning a bit into the table, more to brace himself. “I like to party, sometimes parties get really crazy, sometimes things get brought to parties to make them more crazy, and sometimes I do it because it’s fun and crazy. I voted to legalize marijuana because who doesn’t enjoy some good weed from time to time? I’ve popped Molly, done coke, went through a weird Adderall phase, dabbled in some other things, but the one thing I can assure you is that I’ve never done meth, heroin, or crack. What about you?”

Yixing blinked several times, and instead of answering the question, he simply asked, “But why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do these things? Can you not have fun without them?”

“Of course I can. I had fun at our coffee date.”

“Then why do them?”

“Because it’s fun in the moment.”

“But you could die,” Yixing stated, and Baekhyun would have normally laughed at this and told him that only happened in movies, but…

Luckily their waiter finally took their plates away and then a plate of cheese was put between them to share. Baekhyun smiled realizing now why Yixing had stated this would be his favorite course.

“I recommend you try the goat cheese first,” Yixing told him, watching him carefully, “It’s artisanal and rather exceptional.”

Baekhyun kinda loved that after everything he had revealed to him, and the fact that it was not to Yixing’s liking, he still treated him rather nice. Yixing was a different kind of being, and Baekhyun wished he knew a scientific term to call him to describe whatever he was.

He tried the goat cheese and found that it really was exceptional.

“Oh my God,” Baekhyun said, looking a little stunned. “It has so much flavor. Like… I don’t know how to describe it.”

“I had a feeling you’d like that one,” Yixing said, his smile brightening a bit more.

Baekhyun liked all the cheeses, some of which he was certainly tasting for the first time, but that goat cheese was the clear winner.

Yixing didn’t ask any questions during this course, just letting him enjoy it and watching him do so, and Baekhyun felt so grateful for it that he decided to come forth and offer up another truth to Yixing on his own.

“So, remember how you wanted to ask me out, but I was out sick?”

Yixing nodded.

“Well, I wasn’t like sick with the flu or anything. I was in the hospital.”

Yixing looked concerned and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Now, yes,” Baekhyun assured him with a soft smile. “I was there because the previous night I had been partying a little too hard, and I ended up passing out.”

Yixing’s eyes were now very open and very attentive as he stared at him, and Baekhyun continued.

“It was actually the first time I’d ever OD’d. Up until that point, I had never had anything like that happen to me. I mean, I’d blacked out before because I drank too much and stuff, but never… that. And it was a little scary,” Baekhyun finally admitted.

He had been trying so hard to not think about what had happened that night that he had never even really admitted to himself that it had been an overdose in the first place. When the doctor had told him that, Baekhyun had just shook his head and tuned out. But he had passed out before and very much knew the difference, and it was time for him to finally accept that things had gotten out of control.

“But, I’m better now,” he continued since Yixing had seemed to have lost his ability to form words. “And I’m staying away from all that now. The truth is, unlike you, my life is very chaotic. I don’t intend for it to be that way, but that’s just how it is. But I’m trying,” he shrugged and ate the last piece of cheese that was left.

Yixing continued to watch him, then slowly nodded and took another sip of his wine.

The waiter brought them each a plate with a small dish that had some sort of pudding-like thing inside. Baekhyun tried it and nodded his approval.

“They save the best for last here,” Baekhyun commented, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“They do,” Yixing agreed, still looking thoughtful.

Baekhyun was not having that at all. If he was about to lose his regular, he needed to see those dimples one last time.

“This tastes like chocolate pudding. Is it actually chocolate pudding or is it like pigeon pudding?” He smiled at his own joke.

“It’s crémeux,” Yixing said, “It’s more dense than an American pudding. And yes, it’s made with chocolate.”

Baekhyun appreciated the explanation, but not the lack of dimples. He sighed.

“So what question comes with non-American chocolate pudding?”

“Have you ever been arrested?”

Baekhyun laughed. Like really laughed. Like a full blown “heads at other tables turned to look at him” laugh.

Yixing, for his part, did seem amused by the outburst.

“No,” Baekhyun said, once he was able to stop post-laughing giggles from emitting. “But, my friends and I have been thrown out of karaoke rooms several times for being too drunk and unruly. Oh, and I’m banned from Uber at the moment because I threw up in one of the cars and still haven’t paid the damage fee. But other than that, I’ve managed to keep a clean record. Have you ever been arrested?”

Yixing chuckled and said, “No.”

“That’s three things we have in common then,” Baekhyun pointed out. “Does that freak you out? Having anything in common, much less three things, with someone like me?”

“No, it’s…” Yixing seemed to consider a word carefully, then said, “nice.”

“Nice,” Baekhyun stated, as if making sure that was the word he had settled on.

“Like I said at our previous date, I’m very boring, so it’s nice to know I have three things in common with someone like you.”

“I wouldn’t call you boring. Neurotic maybe. I’m guessing you’re also OCD. Is your place like perfectly organized?”

“I’m not OCD at all,” Yixing said. “At least not in the clinical sense. I’m a planner, and organizational techniques help with that, but if I didn’t have a cleaning service come in every week, my place would be a complete mess.”

“That’s shocking to hear,” Baekhyun said, a little sad he was done with his pudding. He could have used at least ten more of those, though he certainly wasn’t feeling as hungry anymore.

“I spend so much of my time being focused and organized at work that I don’t have time for it when I come home,” Yixing tried to explain.

“Huh, I can see that. I also spend all my time being responsible at work, so I don’t have time for that when I’m not there.”

Yixing chuckled at that, and Baekhyun smiled, one step closer to the dimples.

Their plates were whisked away, and now in front of him was what looked like a small piece of dark chocolate with something drizzled on top.

“Is this the last course?” Baekhyun asked, making sure. “And can this be considered a course?”

“It is,” Yixing confirmed, taking a bite of his dark chocolate.

Baekhyun just ate his all at once, then asked, “So what’s the last question?”

“Would you like to go on a third date?”

Baekhyun blinked. Was he joking? He must have looked confused because he certainly felt confused.

“You want to go on a third date with me?” He asked to confirm. “Is that really the last question?”

“It is. No one’s made it to the tenth course before for me to ask. One of my past dates walked out during the fifth, though one brave soul made it to the sixth.”

Now it was Baekhyun that was rendered speechless. He didn’t even know how to react to this, much less know what to say.

“Do you actually want to go on a third date with me?” Baekhyun finally said. “From your reactions, I kinda figured you wouldn’t be interested in me anymore.”

“I was a bit surprised and shocked by some of your answers, but I appreciated your honesty. I value honesty above most anything else. It’s very important to me.”

Well at least there was that, Baekhyun thought, and Yixing continued.

“Photons with definite trajectories often have chaotic journeys. I should have expected some of these truths from you, but again, I’ve never met anyone like you, so I suppose I didn’t know what quite to expect. The classroom doesn’t always prepare you for real-life situations.”

“I have no idea what you’re saying right now,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I think what I’m trying to say is that you constantly surprise me, and I find it interesting, and that results in me finding you fascinating. So I would like to go on a third date with you, but of course, I understand if you find me too dull or neurotic and don’t want to.”

Neurotic, yes, but dull, not really. While this was the worst date he’d ever been on, it was also the most interesting, and Baekhyun had an idea that spending time with Yixing on a regular basis would be exactly that – neurotic and interesting. His actor instincts were too fascinated to not see it through further.

“What exactly would the third date entail? Because if it’s more of this…”

“No,” Yixing cut him off and shook his head, “The third date is all you. You pick where we go and what you want to do. I’ve shown you today a lot of who I am, but more importantly, how I am. Now I need to see how you are. In your own element.”

“This is so methodical,” Baekhyun meant to think, but it came out verbally anyway. His mouth often did that after several glasses of really good wine.

“I’m sorry,” Yixing said.

“Just out of curiosity, what’s the fourth date like? How many courses of Yixing dating are there before you get to the dark chocolate, or at the very least the kiss, or the hook up? Like how many rounds are we talking?” Baekhyun made sure to say this in a light-hearted manner, which Yixing seemed to appreciate as he chuckled before he answered.

“You’ll find out after the third date, if there is one.”

“I’ll bite. Third date it is.”

For that answer, Baekhyun received a full display of dimples, and he felt elated about this. Yixing settled the bill and they walked out together, Baekhyun pulling up the Lyft app on his phone to order himself a ride.

“I could drop you off at home, if you like,” Yixing offered.

“It might be a little out of the way for you,” Baekhyun warned him. He certainly couldn’t afford to live anywhere near where Yixing did, even if it would have been super convenient for him work-wise.

“I don’t mind,” Yixing stated, and Baekhyun was more than happy to save himself the fare.

In the car, Baekhyun discovered that Yixing liked to listen to classical music and books on tape, but he put on the pop radio station for Baekhyun, as if thinking that might be more up his alley.

“How much is your Uber damage fee?” Yixing then asked at one point.

“$150. I’m going to pay it with my next check. This one had to go toward my rent. But it’s cool because I have a Lyft account too. I mean, I have a car. It’s just for nights when I’m partying and stuff. See? I’m totally responsible.”

Yixing smiled, “That’s very good of you to not drink and drive.”

“You had like four wine glasses tonight, you hypocrite,” Baekhyun told him, and Yixing laughed.

“You’re making me reckless. But I happen to hold my liquor well.”

“I can’t hold my liquor at all. That’s part of my problem,” he chuckled at himself. Four wine glasses had actually done him in.

“If you want, I can take care of your Uber bill,” Yixing then said. “You really should have both of your options available to you. Just in case.”

“No, it’s okay. I got it.”

“You could always pay me back later, if you like.”

Baekhyun suddenly thought of Jongdae’s sugar daddy comment and giggled, then apologized when Yixing game him a curious glance.

“Sorry, I was thinking of something. Um, no I’m good, Xing. But thanks.”

Yixing nodded, and said, “Let me know if you change your mind.”

They arrived at Baekhyun’s apartment, and Yixing pulled up next to a car parked in front of the entrance to drop him off.

“Thanks for the ride, and for the pigeon and everything else,” Baekhyun told him.

Yixing smiled, giving him the dimples again, and then said, “I had fun tonight. I don’t think you did, but I did, so thank you.”

“I had fun at some parts. We really need to work on your dating methods though.”

“Maybe I’ll learn from you on the next date.”

“I hope so,” Baekhyun said with a laugh, and then before he could process what had happened, Yixing’s lips were on his.

It had been so unexpected, and Baekhyun thought the chances of Yixing being arrested that night would have been higher than getting a kiss from him, but there it was, an actual kiss, and Baekhyun returned it and put a bit more into it because he had really been wanting to kiss him since their coffee date.

When Yixing pulled away, he looked a little stunned.

“Did I break you?” Baekhyun asked. “Because I wasn’t expecting that, so you broke me first.”

“You’re a really good kisser,” Yixing said. “I’ve never had a kiss that was that good.”

Baekhyun laughed and opened the car door saying, “Xing, you better prepare for this third date. Your mind is going to be blown.”

“I sense that,” Yixing said, letting his tongue run over his lips, still looking a bit stunned.

Baekhyun wanted to kiss him again, but he held back, thinking he might break him for real if he did. He told him goodbye, then closed the door, practically skipping to his apartment building and hoping Jongdae was up so he could tell him about his worst date ever.


	37. Grilled Vegetable Wrap

Kyungsoo was a little confused by the news Jongin told him as he clocked in and Jongin clocked out.

“What do you mean you have a date with Jongdae?” Kyungsoo asked him.

“Baek set us up on a date. I wasn’t going to do it at first, but now that you and Chanyeol are official, I’ve been inspired.”

“Do you even like Jongdae like that?”

“I don’t know. I’ll find out tonight. Don’t wait up for me,” Jongin teased as he left out the back door.

Kyungsoo felt a bit blindsided by this, so much so that he couldn’t even assess if he thought it was a good thing or a bad thing.

He started working, throwing some veggies on the grill for a grilled vegetable wrap that was up on the screen and really wanting to find out more about this random date, but outside of Baekhyun, who he was not going to ask, the only other person he could ask was Jongdae, who wasn’t working that night either.

“We gotta add more veggies,” Jorge told him. “More grilled vegetable wraps got added to that order.”

Kyungsoo looked back up at the order screen to see that three more orders of the same dish had really just been added to the same ticket, which was weird, but he threw more veggies on the grill.

“I need to start over,” Baekhyun’s loud voice stated as he came into the kitchen. “Like, literally from the moment I woke up.”

“Did you screw this order up?” Jorge asked. “Why did you add three more veggie wraps?”

“Because I need to start the day over,” Baekhyun said with a bit of an exasperated laugh. “I swear the one girl ordered that, and I thought the other three girls just wanted Coronas, but then one of the other girls waved me back over and asked if hers could be with no mushroom, and it wasn’t the girl that ordered it in the first place. Like how did that happen?”

“Wait,” Kyungsoo said tuning in, “None of these say without mushroom.”

“Shit,” Baekhyun said, “Could you keep the mushroom off one? My bad.”

Kyungsoo nodded and partitioned a quarter of the batch off, flicking the mushrooms away from it with the spatula.

He started plating the wraps and looked up at Baekhyun to see him watching him, but not really paying attention.

“Why did you set up Jongin on a date with Jongdae?” Kyungsoo went ahead and asked him anyway.

“Oh, he told you about that?” Baekhyun said with a small laugh. “Um, I just thought Jongdae should try seeing someone else for a change. I was trying to do him a favor and Jongin’s nice, and really pretty. Which is important.”

Kyungsoo put the plates in the window for him, pointing out the one that had no mushroom, and then said, “Don’t use Jongin for whatever weird games you’re playing.”

Baekhyun raised his eyebrows and said, “I’m not playing any weird games. And if he wanted to say no, he could have. He said no at first, then changed his mind.”

Kyungsoo gave him what may have been a warning glance, then turned around to start on the next order.

By the time his break came around, Chanyeol had snuck up behind Kyungsoo as he was clocking out and slid his arms around his waist, giving him an over the shoulder sneak-attack kiss on the cheek that made Kyungsoo chuckle.

“Why are you like this?” Kyungsoo asked. “Let me at least clock out before you spoil me.”

“Nope, spoiling happens every second possible,” Chanyeol told him. “Besides, I planned us a very fun lunch break, so let’s go.”

“More fun than sparklers?” Kyungsoo asked with a big smile as they walked out together and held hands, Chanyeol leading the way.

“Way more fun. Well, same level of fun. You’ll like it. I promise.”

They walked across the street and down the block, Chanyeol opening the door for him to what turned out to be a very colorful and lively retro video game arcade.

“Yes!” Kyungsoo said, and gave Chanyeol a kiss before he could even hand over his card to pay the admission fee.

“Okay, your choice, what do you want to play first?” Chanyeol asked him as they walked past the flashing lights of every game, taking in what was available.

“ _Mortal Kombat_!” Kyungsoo said, pointing to the machine, and he practically sprinted over to it. He had heard that this place existed nearby, but he hadn’t had a chance to check it out. Now that he was there, he felt like a kid in a candy store.

They battled each other in two-player mode on _Mortal Kombat_ , then moved on to _Street Fighter_ to do the same, before they both decided they had to compete against each other in _Tokyo Drift_. As they raced, Chanyeol tried to physically push Kyungsoo as if that would make him lose his lead position over him.

Kyungsoo knew this lunch would end too soon, but he was glad they had done it just the same.

“Promise me we can do that at least once a week,” Kyungsoo told him as they walked back into the restaurant to clock in.

“We can definitely do that at least once a week,” Chanyeol told him.

They headed to the kitchen where Kyungsoo checked the orders and saw that he could sneak in something for them to share since they hadn’t eaten. He added an extra burger to the grill as he worked on the current order, and got the line cook at the frying station to throw some fries on the plate for him, then slid the plate to Chanyeol through the window.

Chanyeol was only able to take a single bite before Irene came in looking for him, with Baekhyun right behind to pick up his next orders.

“Isn’t your break over?” Irene said slapping Chanyeol’s arm. “Come help me. It got crazy packed while you were gone.”

“I’m coming. Just let me have another bite,” Chanyeol said, taking another big one.

“Is this what I have to look forward to now that you two are officially together?” Irene asked them both, and Baekhyun’s head snapped toward the direction of Irene and Chanyeol. “Losing you to the kitchen every five seconds and leaving me hanging just so you can give googly eyes to your boyfriend?”

“You’re so dramatic,” Chanyeol said, slapping Irene’s arm back. “I was just trying to get energy so I can deal with both you and the customers.”

“Why are both of my main floor bartenders in here when the bar is overflowing with people?” Junmyeon asked as he entered the kitchen.

“I was coming to get him,” Irene said, shoving Chanyeol out of the kitchen as they made themselves disappear.

“Heads up that we just seated a 16-top in Wendy’s section,” Junmyeon announced to the staff, picking up some food from the window to take to waiting tables to help out.

Kyungsoo placed more food in the window, where Baekhyun still stood, now staring at him, looking a bit lost.

“So you guys are officially together?” He asked, his voice careful, and with a subtext of something else that Kyungsoo couldn’t make out.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo confirmed for him. “And I’d really appreciate you not sabotaging it.”

“I won’t,” he said grabbing a plate, slowly looking as if he was registering that he had a job to do. “Congrats. He’s a really great boyfriend.”

Kyungsoo had nothing to say to that, and watched as Baekhyun grabbed his other plates and left the kitchen.

He knew Chanyeol wasn’t really talking to Baekhyun still, or vice versa, and while he didn’t think that could ultimately end well, he really hoped that Baekhyun did leave them both alone.

But it was on his mind the rest of the night, even as it was time to clock out and head to their cars. As they walked, Chanyeol asked him if he wanted to come over and work on the demo a bit.

“I’m not sure,” Kyungsoo answered, tossing his backpack into the backseat of his car. “Baekhyun set Jongin up on a date with Jongdae, so now I’m thinking I should head home and check up on the situation.”

“Wait, what?” Chanyeol asked, and Kyungsoo had been sure Jongdae would have told him.

“You didn’t hear?”

“No. What the hell? I mean, do they like each other?”

“No,” Kyungsoo answered, and then shrugged, “I don’t think so anyway. Baekhyun had asked Jongin before and he said no, but then tonight he said yes, so that’s where they are.”

“I mean, that could be really cool if that worked out,” Chanyeol reasoned as he thought about it, but he still looked as confused as Kyungsoo felt.

“Yeah, or if I trusted Baekhyun enough to think there wasn’t an ulterior motive in the setup.”

“He’s not like that,” Chanyeol defended him, yet again, even now that they were together. Kyungsoo tried to not let that bother him. “He only ever has ulterior motives when it comes to me. I wouldn’t be too worried about it.”

“Either way, I should probably go home.”

“Okay, do I get a goodbye kiss at least?”

He did. A really nice and long one that made Wendy yell, “Get a room!” to them as she walked by to her car.

“I’ll call you when I get home,” Kyungsoo told him as they pulled apart. “We can FaceTime.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Chanyeol agreed, giving him another kiss before letting him go.

He arrived home convinced that he’d find Jongin watching TV, ready to tell him about how it had been stupid of him to go on that date and didn’t know what he had been thinking.

But the apartment was empty, and Kyungsoo felt even more confused, and possibly a little amused, as he went through his nightly ritual of getting ready for bed, then crawling into it to FaceTime Chanyeol so they could talk each other to sleep.


	38. PB&J Burger

Jongdae and Jongin had decided to meet up at the overpriced burger place not far from Barry’s for their date, which had been rather packed when they had both walked in.

After a short wait, they were seated and decided to share a pitcher of beer and order the most ridiculous thing on the menu: a peanut butter and jelly burger.

“This better be the best burger I’ve ever had for that price,” Jongin said, once their menus were gone and the pitcher of beer had arrived.

“I have a feeling it’s going to be better than the $600 pigeon Baekhyun got on his date with his regular,” Jongdae said with a laugh.

“You have to tell me all about this,” Jongin said, leaning in at the table to hear him better. “Don’t leave out any details.”

Jongdae did tell him all the details, even recounting some of his own thoughts when Baekhyun had told him about the most ridiculous date Jongdae had ever heard about.

“I mean, I told him that if he wanted to, I could go outside, grab a pigeon, kill it and cook it for him for free,” Jongdae ended.

Jongin’s loud and rather corny laugh made Jongdae laugh even more, realizing how much more ridiculous the whole thing had been after his retelling of it.

“So I take it that Baekhyun won’t be seeing him again,” Jongin then said. “It’ll be sad for him to lose his regular.”

“No, he’s going on another date with him.”

“What? Why? Is he hoping his regular buys him an $800 rat?”

Jongdae chuckled and shook his head, “I wish it was that. But no, it’s because…” Jongdae didn’t quite know how to explain it to Jongin. He had tried to explain it to Baekhyun himself that night, but had gotten all of Baekhyun’s defenses instead, which he had expected anyway. “He just doesn’t have much self-respect when it comes to things like this.”

It was the best way Jongdae could explain it, and he took a sip of his beer.

“That’s weird. Why not?”

“I don’t know. Ever since he lost Chanyeol, he just thinks he’s going to end up alone forever, so he hooks up with whoever and takes whoever he can get. Like any person with self-respect would have told his regular to go fuck himself after he started with that judgmental questioning, but Baekhyun just took it because he’d rather try with an asshole like that since he thinks he doesn’t have a chance with anyone else. Or something like that.”

“That’s crazy. Because he seems so confident and… I don’t know, like.. you know what I mean?” Jongin said.

“He’s a really amazing actor,” Jongdae stated. “Anyway, so why did you agree to go on this date with me? I’m the actual pity case in our household so you don’t need to lie. You can just say you felt bad for me or whatever.”

“Well, as the resident pity case in my household, I figured since the guy I’ve had a crush on my whole life is now dating your other best friend, I might as well see what else is out there and take my chances.”

“Yeeeahh,” Jongdae said, feeling a bit bad for Jongin and that situation. “I’m happy they’re together though. Chanyeol really did need someone like Kyungsoo in his life. It’s like he’s his old self again. I really like Kyungsoo for that.”

Jongin smiled a bit and nodded.

“Kyungsoo is great. And I can’t hate on Chanyeol too much since he makes Kyungsoo so happy. In my head, I’m always thinking to myself how I made him happy too, but…”

“Yeah,” Jongdae said understanding. “People are going to like who they like.”

“Like how you can’t help but to like Minseok even though he’s married.”

“And how Minseok can’t help but to like his husband even though he’s waking up in my bed.”

“Wow,” Jongin said, and he gave a small laugh.

“I know. It’s a mess.”

“Why are we like this?” Jongin then said.

“I don’t know, but I’m not proud of it,” Jongdae said.

He had almost forgotten they had ordered an appetizer as their server set a plate of wings in front of them. They had both decided on it just in case they hated their peanut butter and jelly burgers.

“Well, maybe we can fix our own situations,” Jongin said, taking a wing and assessing the dipping sauces before he picked the blue cheese dressing to dip it in.

“Does it make me even more pathetic if I don’t want my situation fixed?” Jongdae asked, choosing to dip his in the honey mustard.

“Maybe a little,” Jongin teased him, wiping his mouth before grabbing another wing. “You really like him that much, huh?”

“I don’t even know when it happened. I just woke up one day and realized that I couldn’t wait to see him again, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him throughout the day, and I couldn’t stop fantasizing about him.”

“That’s literally how I feel about Kyungsoo. Or felt. I’m trying to turn it off.”

“If you figure out how to, please share.”

“I will. It’s a work in progress.”

“It just sucks,” Jongdae complained, dipping the next wing in the blue cheese to mix it up a bit. “Like, Chanyeol met Baekhyun, and it was mutual, and they both had those thoughts about each other, and then got to have each other. Then Chanyeol meets Kyungsoo, and the same thing happens. Minseok met Luhan and ended up marrying him. I just always feel that everyone else can meet people that they fall for, and it gets reciprocated, and they can end up together. But that’s literally never happened to me.”

“Me either,” Jongin said. “But I think my problem always was that I was so hung up on one person that I never really gave anyone else a chance. People liked me, and I’d hook up with them, but I’d never let it get serious. I just couldn’t feel about them the way I felt about Kyungsoo, which made me convinced that they weren’t the one for me.”

“Using Kyungsoo as your litmus test does set the bar pretty high.”

“I know,” Jongin sighed as he took a drink from his beer.

“Even I thought he was cute and intriguing when I first met him. He has this thing about him.”

“I know that as well,” Jongin said.

“Sorry, I’ll stop bringing him up like that,” Jongdae said with a small, but understanding chuckle. “Um, but yeah, well at least you’ve had people be interested in you. No one’s ever really interested in me. I’m not sure what about me is off putting.”

“I refuse to believe that is true,” Jongin stated. “You’re cute and have a great smile. You must have had tons of guys trying to hit on you.”

“Not really. I always hung out with Chanyeol and Baekhyun, and they were the ones that always got hit on.” But Jongdae knew they weren’t really to blame, and he sighed, “Actually, it’s this weird thing. I’m bi, but guys always assume I’m straight and girls always assume I’m gay. I must carry myself in a really weird way.”

“Oh,” Jongin said with a nod. “That’s true. I thought you were straight when I first met you and was thrown for a loop when I found out about you and Minseok.”

“See?” Jongdae gave a small whine. “Minseok’s like the only person that’s ever gotten it. Granted, he had asked Chanyeol first to make sure, but still. At least he asked.”

“I think this explains the Minseok thing,” Jongin said, his eyes with a knowing glint, “Here’s this guy showing you interest, and you probably liked that because you’re not used to it, and then as he got more into you, you started getting really attached because you’ve never really had anyone. He wasn’t your first was he?”

“No! I’m not a virgin. Although I feel like a born again one because one of his open relationship rules is no penetration.”

“Oh, that sucks,” Jongin said, “But since you brought it up. Do you top or bottom?”

“I top,” Jongdae admitted, and he might have blushed a tad at the question, not having expected being asked that so blatantly. “I prefer to anyway. I know Minseok likes both, but tends to bottom for Luhan, which means we’d be perfect if we could get to that part of our non-relationship. What about you?”

“I’m a total bottom,” Jongin stated, “And I know Kyungsoo prefers to top, which means we would have been perfect as well.”

“Wait, Kyungsoo prefers to top?” Jongdae asked surprised, not really privy to any intimate information in Chanyeol’s relationship with him. “So does Chanyeol.”

“What?” Jongin asked surprised. “That’s not fair. How’s that fair?”

“Have they not gotten that far?” Jongdae asked, thinking it was interesting.

“No, they have. Although right now they aren’t because Kyungsoo won’t until Chanyeol gets a new test result since he hooked up with Baekhyun.”

“Makes sense,” Jongdae nodded.

“It does. But both of them being tops doesn’t. I’m more meant for him than Chanyeol.”

Jongdae laughed as Jongin slightly pouted at this and ate another wing, this time dipping it in the ranch dressing that hadn’t been touched by either of them yet.

“Maybe there’s hope for you yet,” Jongdae tried.

“I’m pretty resigned on this one,” Jongin admitted. “I’ve been through enough relationships with Kyungsoo. This one’s going to last a long time.”

“Well, you never know. There still is a whole Baekhyun in the picture.”

“Kyungsoo won’t play that. He’s only been nice to him so far because he was hoping Chanyeol worked it all out himself. Now that they’re together, Kyungsoo will take the initiative if he has to.”

Jongdae had no trouble believing this.

When they finished their wings, their burgers came out like clockwork, and they both stared at them, taking pictures of it and laughing as they dared the other to try it first. In the end, they counted to three and took a bite at the same time.

“Oh,” Jongdae said as he chewed and allowed the flavors to swirl around in his mouth.

“Oh,” Jongin said, looking at the sandwich as if trying to figure out how it worked.

“This is good,” Jongdae said first.

“This is really good,” Jongin agreed.

“Like, it just works,” Jongdae observed.

“It does,” Jongin nodded.

Then they both took another bite.

It took them less time to kill their PB&J burgers then it did the wings, and when they were done, they finished pouring what was left in the pitcher into their mugs, and sat back to enjoy the rest of their beer.

“I don’t know if it was worth the price, but that burger was stupid good,” Jongdae admitted as he rubbed his tummy a little, feeling full.

“It’s probably good they charge that much, otherwise I’d be in here every day eating it,” Jongin reasoned, and Jongdae agreed with a nod.

“You should ask Kyungsoo to try and make this. And then we can add it to our menu for cheaper.”

“I will,” Jongin said laughing.

“Is that gonna be weird now for you?” Jongdae then asked him, after another drink from his mug. “Living with him while he’s with Chanyeol?”

“I think it’s going to be okay,” Jongin said, looking to put some thought into it. “He stays over at Chanyeol’s most nights anyway, so it’s like I have my own place.”

“Nice. I always think I’ll appreciate the nights that Baek doesn’t come home and I can have the place to myself, but I spend all night just worrying about him so it’s never as peaceful and relaxing as I want it to be.”

“He’s a big boy. You shouldn’t have to worry about him,” Jongin said with a smile.

Jongdae smiled back, knowing better, but Jongin didn’t need to know about all that.

“How do you think Baek expected this date to go?” Jongdae asked, chuckling as he switched the topic.

“Listen,” Jongin said, “I don’t know if you know this, but he literally asked everyone at the restaurant to take you out on a date.”

“I figured,” Jongdae said, maybe a bit embarrassed by it, but he tried to shrug it off. “He hates my thing with Minseok, so he’s hoping he can find me someone else so I’ll end it. And now I feel like an idiot because I was trying to do the same thing for him to get him to move on from Chanyeol and now I know how stupid of an idea it was.”

“You guys meant well. It’s cute that you care about each other so much. Have you thought of dating each other?”

“No,” Jongdae said before Jongin could barely finish asking the question. “We’ve been through too much as friends and know each other too well. We know we work as best friends. It’d be incestual at this point.”

Jongin nodded in understanding then said, “Well, this is supposed to be a date, so tell me about yourself.”

Jongdae smiled, no idea what he should say about himself that Jongin didn’t already know.

“I’m a bartender,” Jongdae began. “I graduated college thinking I could have a career in music, but that didn’t pan out exactly how I wanted, so I’m sticking with the bartender thing until I figure it all out. I think you knew all this.”

“Only some of it,” Jongin said. “At least you graduated college. I dropped out and moved out here to live with my best friend until I figure it all out.”

“Why did you drop out?” Jongdae asked, thinking to himself that had he even considered dropping out, his parents would have disowned him or shipped him off to his grandmother in Korea as punishment.

“I love dancing. I’ve loved dancing my whole life,” Jongin explained as he finished his beer. “So I thought it was a no-brainer to major in dancing at school. It was fine at first, but the more competitive it got and the more pressure there was, the less I was enjoying it. So I decided to just take some time off and figure out what it is I really want in life.”

They ordered another pitcher and traded more information about each other, never venturing deeper than necessary, but answering honestly, trying to get a better understanding of the other person.

They decided to split the bill in half, Jongdae insisting it was embarrassing enough that he had been talked into taking him out in the first place, and as they walked out of the restaurant, Jongin stopped and faced him, then asked him a question he hadn’t been expecting.

“So, we discovered we’re at least sexually compatible. Wanna hook up?”

Jongdae busted out laughing, and Jongin laughed too, but in a way that made Jongdae realize he hadn’t actually been joking.

“Uh, sure why not,” Jongdae said, his shoulders still shaking a little as he tried to hold back a chuckle. “Your place or mine?”

The question made Jongin laugh, which made Jongdae laugh all over again.

“Let’s do your place,” Jongin answered. “Since the point of the date was to make you forget all about that other guy, we’ll make new memories for you in your bed.”

“Oh my God,” Jongdae said letting out an even louder laugh as Jongin snickered.

But they did end up at Jongdae’s place, which was also new territory for him, because unlike Baekhyun, he wasn’t used to random hookups and rarely did them. But Jongin wasn’t that random. He did know him. He knew he was a nice person, and that seemed enough.

Jongdae give him a quick tour before taking him into his room, with a “ta da!” as he turned on the light.

“Nice,” Jongin said with a smile, walking toward the bed with him. He looked around and Jongdae tried to busy himself with looking at the bed as if needing to figure out logistics of something. “I should probably kiss you,” Jongin then said, putting tentative hands on Jongdae’s waist to pull him closer to him.

“You really don’t have to kiss me,” Jongdae assured him.

“I don’t want it getting back to Baekhyun that I didn’t treat you right. I can just imagine him being annoying and all in my ear on our next shift together about how I didn’t even kiss you.”

“I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

Jongin smiled at the light joke, then leaned his head down to kiss him.

It was a nice kiss. Jongin certainly knew how to kiss. But it lacked the spark that Minseok’s kisses had.

Jongin pulled his lips away, but only to move them across his jawline and to his neck, which was very nice. In fact, all the moves that Jongin put on him were really nice, and Jongdae found that he appreciated a couple of things. One, Jongin’s experience was making for a very pleasant experience, and two, Jongin’s body should be illegal.

“Do all dancers look like this, or were you just unfairly blessed more than everyone?” Jongdae asked him at one point, their clothes finally off and Jongdae trailing kisses and his tongue down Jongin’s happy trail.

“I used to be more fit before I quit and came out here. I need to get back into it though,” Jongin said, between small little hisses of pleasure, making sure to let Jongdae know his tongue was appreciated. “Sehun and I are going to take some dance classes at Millennium.”

“Maybe after your class you can go back to his place and help him take his mind off Junmyeon,” Jongdae teased, just as he teased his belly button.

Jongin let out a small moan and then said, “We’ll see how successful this is tonight, and then I’ll give it a shot.”

There was more teasing, and more laughing, and more talking, until they got so riled up that all three became distant memories and their only focus became getting off.

Jongdae told Jongin to stay, and was glad when he agreed to, but even after a fun night with him, it was Minseok on Jongdae’s mind as he fell asleep.


	39. Street Sausage

Baekhyun knew he hadn’t been okay since finding out about Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, but he was trying really hard to be okay. He had reached out to some friends of his to see if they needed help with any indie or student films they were working on, thinking he could get his mind off it and be productive at the same time.

It turned out that one of his college friends actually needed him for a part, having lost one of their actors to a family emergency. So next thing he knew, it was 4 a.m. and he was getting his hair bleached and dyed red in a cramped gas station bathroom as his friend gave him a run through of the film (some intergalactic bounty hunter love story), his part, and whatever it was he needed him to do.

It was exactly what he needed, getting lost in a role and not being himself. Everything seemed fine when he wasn’t himself.

He had to run a lot, which sucked since he wasn’t the best runner, and he had to dodge some fake laser gun blasts, which was a ton of fun, and he luckily only needed one take of his lines, nailing it as he tended to do, only having to retake a couple of scenes when the female lead playing an alien from another planet screwed up a few of her lines.

He barely made it home in time to shower and change for his afternoon shift, not entirely sure at what point he was supposed to sleep that day since he had his date with Yixing afterwards. He supposed he could take Jongdae’s advice and end the whole Yixing thing, but showing up to work and seeing Chanyeol behind the bar just reminded him of everything he had been trying to get his mind off of, and he figured Yixing could help with that too.

“I love your hair!” Yeri said to him when he went to the host stand to see what section he’d be working that afternoon.

“Thanks,” he said with a big smile.

He started his shift, doing his best to focus on his customers, but when he spotted Jongin joining him on the floor, his mind got distracted by something completely different.

He finished taking orders and headed toward the computer to put them in, taking his time as he waited for Jongin to come over and do the same.

“Your hair is red,” Jongin observed.

“How’d the date go?” He asked him instead of replying.

“It went well. You haven’t talked to Jongdae?”

“I haven’t had the chance. Is he on right now? He wasn’t home when I went to get ready for my shift,” he asked looking around.

“He’s working later tonight. Maybe out running errands?”

Baekhyun figured that could be the case and asked again, “So how’d it go?”

“It was fun,” Jongin nodded with a smile.

“Fun as in it might happen again?”

“Uh, I don’t think so?” Jongin answered, finishing his orders and looking at Baekhyun. “I mean, we’re just not into each other like that. But it was fun. We had a good time.”

Baekhyun may have been a bit disappointed to hear that, but he smiled and thanked Jongin for taking him out just the same. He’d have to check in with Jongdae later and hear about the night.

He saw his drinks were ready at the bar and went to go grab them, Chanyeol doing a double take, and Baekhyun trying to get out of there before Chanyeol said anything, if he was going to say anything at all. He luckily didn’t, which kinda hurt for some reason, but Baekhyun pushed that emotion down and focused on his customers, running to the kitchen to get their appetizers after dropping their drinks off.

“Wow,” Heechul said when he saw him. “I love your hair! You look like an anime.”

“You really do,” Jorge nodded in approval.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said, brightening at all the attention. “I had to shoot a film for a friend this morning.”

“I’ll go see it,” Heechul declared.

“I’ll let you know whatever film festival he ends up submitting it to,” Baekhyun told him with a laugh.

His mood kept being inflated with each compliment, but every time he had to head to the bar, he felt like going home. He hadn’t been drinking the past couple days and wondered why it didn’t seem like his medication was fixing his Chanyeol/Kyungsoo problem. And Baekhyun was well aware it was a problem he shouldn’t be having in the first place. He had told Chanyeol to go live happily ever after with Kyungsoo. He had no idea why it was bothering him so much.

Baekhyun didn’t time his third visit to the bar right, misjudging the amount of drinks he had put in for his new table and having to wait for one as Chanyeol filled a glass from the tap.

He looked away, trying to see if his peripheral vision could catch the drink being put on the tray without him completely seeing it happen.

“Your hair looks awesome,” Chanyeol told him, and Baekhyun mentally cursed everything.

“Thanks,” he said, looking at the tray that now had the correct amount of drinks on it. He picked it up.

“We should talk,” Chanyeol then mentioned, and Baekhyun looked up at him, wondering why he felt they should.

“We don’t have anything to talk about,” Baekhyun told him, leaving the bar quicker than he had run around the gas station that morning trying to elude an alien bounty hunter.

Chanyeol got the hint since he didn’t try and talk to him the rest of the night, and Baekhyun thought for sure he was going to make a clean getaway as he clocked out, but unfortunately Kyungsoo was clocking in right at that moment and noticed him.

Baekhyun ignored him and clocked out, but Kyungsoo gave him a suspicious look just the same before heading to the kitchen, which Baekhyun knew he didn’t deserve.

It was so frustrating on every level. He didn’t know how to deal with the situation. He didn’t know how to handle being around Chanyeol. And he didn’t know how to deal with the annoying and rude new boyfriend that always looked like he was giving him a warning.

And then, as Baekhyun walked outside into the subdued light of dusk, he got a brilliant idea. He’d fight fire with fire. The best thing to get his mind off his ex-boyfriend would be a new boyfriend. And maybe he could convince Yixing tonight that he wanted a photon as his boyfriend.

With this new energy, he headed back home to change and prepare for his date night, which started with a simple text to Yixing telling him the address to Uber himself to so they could meet up.

_I’d prefer to drive myself._

Baekhyun snorted at the reply.

_It’s my date. Do as I say. I’ll meet you there._

He had figured that Yixing would have canceled by now or stood him up, but when Baekhyun arrived at their designated location, he found the engineer standing there, dressed in black slacks and a striped button down shirt.

Baekhyun smiled and said, “You look good.”

Yixing blinked at him, then blinked again.

“Your hair,” he said.

“Yeah, I was shooting a movie this morning for a friend,” and not quite sure what to make of the look on Yixing’s face, he joked, “Does this go against some CDC rule of yours as well? Are you not into it?”

“No, you look… unreal.”

“Well that’s good because I was playing an alien,” Baekhyun said with a laugh, “You ready?”

“Yes, although I’m a little nervous about what you have planned.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about. Unlike you, I took you and who you were into consideration, so I promise you that this will be a tame version of what a night out with me is like.”

“Oh,” Yixing said, looking unsure. “I’m not sure you should not be the full you. I mean, in order to see how you really are…”

“You’ve seen how I really am. And you’ll get the full effect of me tonight. It honestly doesn’t matter what the situation is, I usually act the same. Come on, drinks first.”

Baekhyun pointed to the dive bar in front of them and led the way inside, immediately greeted by the regular hostess who raved about his hair the moment he walked in. He wasn’t sure if the place would be off-putting to Yixing, with its dark interior, graffiti on the wooden walls, and tables and benches close together, but he figured that turnabout was fair play in this situation.

“My friends and I come here a lot to drink,” Baekhyun explained to him once they were seated in a rather dark corner. He watched as Yixing took in his surroundings, looking both amazed and horrified.

“Hey,” their server said to them with a big smile, “Your hair! I love it!”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun told her, knowing her well from all their nights hanging out there. “I was shooting a movie this morning.”

“Our little star, Baekhyun,” she said. “Soju?”

“Yes please, and…” Baekhyun looked at Yixing.

“Soju is fine,” Yixing nodded.

“Their kimchi pancakes are the best kimchi pancakes you’ll find in all of Koreatown. But we can order whatever you like.”

“Everyone here knows you.”

“I told you. We come here a lot. This is my Barry’s.”

Yixing smiled at the parallel and nodded. He looked back at the menu, but Baekhyun noticed that he kept glancing back up at him, then looking back down.

“Do you want recommendations?” Baekhyun asked him, unsure of what was making him do that.

“I think I trust your judgment on this. Just order what you normally would for us.”

So Baekhyun ordered them the kimchi pancake, some spicy wings, and a large plate of rice cakes and fish cakes.

Once they were properly fed, Baekhyun paid the bill and then called them another Uber, explaining to Yixing, “The club we’re going to is like a 15 minute walk, so we’ll just ride there.”

“If I had brought my car, I could just drive us there without you spending the extra money.”

“I’m a lightweight, so usually on a night like this, I’m too drunk to drive,” Baekhyun told him. “You want the ‘me’ experience, right?”

“Right,” Yixing said with another smile.

Once at the club, he got more compliments and free drinks, which he knew he should turn down, but he wasn’t one to turn down anything free, much less drinks.

He wasted no time in hitting the dance floor, moving his hips to the beat and urging Yixing to do the same. He expected Yixing to step awkwardly from side to side, or just nod his head, but it turned out that Yixing had been hiding a very important detail about himself.

Baekhyun almost stopped dancing as he watched Yixing not just move his hips to the rhythm, but do actual dance moves and perfectly pick up the changes in beat.

“Wait,” Baekhyun said, almost feeling affronted by this, “You never told me you could dance.”

“Well I don’t have time to do it much anymore,” Yixing explained, still moving to the song as he spoke, “But it was one of the few activities my parents let me partake in as a child, so I took dance classes for most of my life and was part of a dance crew in college.”

Well that explained his incredible physique.

“Check you out,” Baekhyun said with a huge smile. “Okay, let’s see your moves then.”

Yixing showed off some hip hop moves as people stopped dancing to watch him show off, hyping him up, and Baekhyun felt all kinds of pride, like if he had discovered a dancing star or something.

“This is crazy,” Baekhyun said more to himself as he watched him, and he joined in a bit, though his dancing ability was nowhere on the level of what Yixing was doing.

When they left that club, Baekhyun asked him, “What other secrets are you hiding from me?”

“I wasn’t hiding it,” Yixing explained. “I just didn’t think to mention it.”

“I literally asked you if you had been clubbing. You could have mentioned it then.”

“It didn’t occur to me.”

Baekhyun stopped in front of the sausage guy outside the club and ordered two sausages for them, handing over some cash.

“What are you doing?” Yixing asked him.

“Getting us sustenance before we hit up the bar.”

“We’re going to another bar?” Yixing asked surprised. “And you’re planning on eating that?”

Baekhyun turned his head toward Yixing in surprise, “You’ve never had street sausage from a street sausage vendor?”

“I have not.”

“What kind of Angeleno are you? It’s practically a rite of passage. These are the unsung heroes of a good pub crawl. The saving graces of a night of clubbing.”

He thanked the street vendor and handed a sausage sandwich to Yixing, tapping his against it and saying, “Cheers,” before taking a big and much needed bite. Drinking and dancing always made Baekhyun super hungry.

Yixing took a careful bite as they walked and Baekhyun watched for his reaction.

“Verdict?” He asked, when he couldn’t quite make it out.

“It is quite tasty.”

Baekhyun smiled in triumph and led him the few blocks over to the bar, which had given them plenty of time to finish their sausages before entering.

He really had taken it easy on Yixing, choosing a nicer bar, with a nice VIP section, which Baekhyun had no problems getting them into. There was a small dance floor and a DJ, but that wasn’t the real vibe of this particular hangout, which was focused more on bottle service and socializing.

And that was the perfect combination for what Baekhyun had planned next, because as soon as Yixing had a drink in his hand, Baekhyun moved closer to him, leaning his head in to his, to give him a small kiss on the cheek. He figured it was best to test the waters with Yixing than to dive right in.

“What was that for?” Yixing asked surprised.

“This is where I come to make out,” Baekhyun flat out told him.

“Oh,” Yixing said, and he looked around to see that people in the other tables were sitting rather close and some appeared to be in intimate conversation, while others were clearly taking advantage of the darker lighting to do other things. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Kind of how I wasn’t expecting to be grilled and judged by you over pigeon.”

“I am really sorry about that.”

“No you’re not. You admitted you do it to everyone you date. It’s your weird date thing. Well this one’s mine. You get to know people better by asking them uncomfortable questions while feeding them expensive food. I get to know people better by touching them and having them touch me. I’m a very tactile person.”

“I was really not prepared for this.”

Baekhyun leaned in to give him another soft kiss on the cheek, and then when Yixing didn’t protest, he moved his lips across the skin of his jaw and tucked his head right into the crook of his neck, dropping soft kisses as well, and swearing he could hear little sounds coming out of Yixing’s lips against his will. So he angled his body better to slide his tongue over the spot he had been kissing and then returning his lips to it, slowly sucking before suddenly being pushed away.

“Don’t do that,” Yixing said, looking a bit startled by the act.

Baekhyun was confused and stared at him, never having experienced that reaction before. He happened to be great at making out. There had to be something else at play here, but Baekhyun’s mood was quickly deflating at the sudden dismissal. He was sure the alcohol he had drank that night hadn’t helped.

“I’m sorry,” Yixing then said, looking back at him, a bit calmer. “I… that was a little too much for me.”

Baekhyun sighed and dropped his shoulders in defeat, looking away for a moment as he tried to figure out what to do. He should probably just end the date. He didn’t think he could seriously consider someone that couldn’t make out with him to be his boyfriend. He had never had this problem in his life, and now of all times, when he needed a decent distraction and an instant counterattack to Chanyeol’s new relationship, this happened. Why couldn’t he catch a break?

“I’m sorry,” Yixing said again. “Let’s just drink some more? Maybe we can dance again?”

“I’m… going to step outside and get some fresh air,” Baekhyun said instead. He stood up and left him there, thinking fresh air might help him calm down before his emotions got the best of him. There was no doubt in his mind now that he was going to be forever alone. The one guy who finally liked him as something other than just someone to hook up with wouldn’t even hook up with him. What kind of cruel irony was that?

“Baekhyun,” Yixing said, having come out as well. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You didn’t offend me,” he made clear, giving him a small smile to try and make him less concerned about the situation. “I’ve just had a long day, and I’m tired and only got like a few hours of sleep last night. So I think I’m just going to head home.”

“Come to my place instead,” Yixing said.

Baekhyun blinked, knowing he couldn’t have heard him right.

“What?” He asked, needing some sort of clarification.

“That’s normally how a night would end for you, right? You ending up at someone’s place or vice versa? Come to mine.”

“You won’t even let me kiss you,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“I will,” Yixing told him. “This is just a bit uncomfortable for me. Doing it in front of people like this. If we go back to my place, we can kiss all you like.”

Baekhyun gave him a dubious glance but figured he had nothing else to lose, so he pulled up his rideshare app and let Yixing put in his address.

Normally in a situation like this, he’d be making out with someone in the back of a car, but on this ride, he just sat staring out the window, wondering why he was still entertaining this idea. He hadn’t seen Yixing’s dimples even once the entire night, so if Baekhyun wasn’t having a fun night, he knew for a fact neither was Yixing. What were they doing? He was too tired to figure any of it out, and he ended up taking a small nap in the car.

It helped his mood a little by the time he was stepping out of the car and following Yixing into the lobby of the building he lived in. Yixing used a keycard to summon the elevator, and Baekhyun was not surprised when he hit the button for the top floor.

In fact, nothing about Yixing’s place surprised him once he was inside. It was huge, and well kept, with the modern décor one would find in an interior design magazine. Part of his walls were exposed brick, and his balcony had fairy lights and a heating lamp and lounge chairs for relaxation. His kitchen was open and had state of the art equipment, his view was the bright lights of the city, and Baekhyun was sure that in the daylight, Yixing had an incredible view of the hills and mountains in the distance.

“You’re such a liar,” Baekhyun told him as he showed him where one of the bathrooms was.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re completely organized and clean. If you were a true mess, there’d be signs of that somewhere. Even a cleaning person can only do so much. And your toilet paper is actually on the toilet paper holder. Like who even does that?”

“Where do you keep yours?”

“On the sink, where you just grab it,” Baekhyun said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But it’s specifically designed for the purpose of holding a roll of toilet paper,” Yixing said a little confused.

Baekhyun walked back to Yixing’s kitchen and spotted the paper towel roll on the paper towel roll holder and pointed to it, “That’s not normal, Xing. You’re supposed to keep that on the kitchen counter, so that when you order pizza and wings, you bring it over to the couch with you. It’s supposed to be mobile.”

“I have napkins, in the napkin holder,” Yixing said, pointing to a napkin holder that Baekhyun hadn’t noticed because who had napkin holders? “When I order food, I grab napkins from there and bring them to the dining table. Where I eat.”

“We are the two most opposite people in the world,” Baekhyun stated, his hands on his hips as he looked around. He had been crazy thinking he could even have Yixing entertain the idea of being a new boyfriend. There was no way this would work out between them. He had a napkin holder for crying out loud.

“I meant to show you the bedroom before you came back to the kitchen,” Yixing said, a bit shyly, which was endearing.

So Baekhyun smiled at him and told him to lead the way.

His bedroom was more of the same, except there was a small charm to it, with pictures of his family on his dresser and a warmer tone to the bedding and furniture. He had a balcony leading out from his bedroom as well, with a very comfortable looking armchair on it, and Baekhyun wondered when exactly Yixing found the time to relax out on it.

“This is really nice,” Baekhyun told him. “It’s too bad you spend more time at the office than here.”

“It sounds like you spend more time out than in your bedroom too, so we have that in common,” Yixing said with a soft smile.

“Yeah, but my bedroom isn’t this nice,” Baekhyun pointed out, and wondered if Yixing was waiting for him to make the first move.

He figured he was, so he took his chances again, walking over to him and placing his hands on Yixing’s hips and looking up at him. Yixing wasn’t much taller than him, and that was nice. Looking up at Chanyeol had always been a bit of a hassle when he was trying to kiss him in a situation like this.

And then Yixing surprised him by kissing him first, placing his hands on Baekhyun’s waist, which he really liked. They kissed for a bit, switching angles, and Baekhyun enjoyed it enough to deepen it, which luckily Yixing responded to by doing the same. So he was capable of this. Maybe he really did just need to be in his comfort zone. Baekhyun could handle that.

“Before we go any further,” Yixing said, once he pulled his lips away. “I have to tell you that I don’t do this a lot.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Baekhyun nodded.

“It’s because I don’t trust people,” Yixing then admitted, and Baekhyun looked at him surprised he had shared something with him. “But I’m choosing to trust you. I really need you to be gentle. And no hickeys. I… I have a client meeting tomorrow. Nothing that leaves marks. Even in places they won’t see.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun said, rubbing his hand over his arm, sensing that Yixing was starting to get worked up about something. “I’ll be gentle. And we’ll only go as far as you want. If you just want to make out, we can just do that. No pressure.”

“I was hoping for a little bit more,” Yixing told him, looking at him with earnest eyes, and Baekhyun didn’t know how to respond because he had been surprised yet again by something so unexpected from him. “It’s just... It’s been a long time for me. We don’t have to if you don’t want, but…”

“A little bit more like a hand job? A blow job?” Baekhyun wanted to make sure and clarify.

“A hand job is fine,” Yixing said, and he was definitely blushing now. “I’ll give you one too. Both of us, maybe together at the same time.”

Baekhyun tried so hard not to laugh, so he turned his attention instead to the bed and noticed the lighter colored pillows and white sheets under the light tan comforter.

“Do you have a towel?” Baekhyun asked him.

“Oh, right, of course, we will need that,” Yixing said, pulling his hands away from Baekhyun’s waist to go to his bathroom.

“Uh, make it two then,” Baekhyun said. “I had meant for your pillow. My hair got dyed this morning so it will literally turn everything red if my hair makes contact.”

“Oh,” Yixing said, and nodded, and then he promptly returned with four very dark-colored towels, which made Baekhyun giggle. “Just to be on the safe side,” Yixing stated as he began putting them across the pillows and just below them.

Baekhyun took off his shirt and asked, “Is there a place you want me to put my clothes or can I just toss them on the floor like I normally would in this kind of situation?”

Yixing blinked as he looked at him, “Oh, just… floor is fine.”

“You sure? You don’t have a special clothes holder I should use?” Baekhyun asked with a laugh.

Yixing smiled and shook his head, and didn’t take his eyes off him as Baekhyun tossed the shirt to the ground then undid the button of his jeans, realizing that either Yixing was a voyeur, or his messy ways had made him short circuit and now he couldn’t move.

His jeans were a little tight, so there was no graceful way to tug them off, but once they were down, he kicked them in the direction of his shirt, and then took off his socks as well.

“Are you enjoying the show?” Baekhyun decided to ask him.

“Yes,” Yixing said.

“Do you want me to keep going or would you like to start taking clothes off first?”

“Keep going.”

Baekhyun smirked at that. Such a voyeur. And Baekhyun liked to put on a good show, so he teased pulling down his boxer briefs, walking over to the bed to make Yixing wait for it, and then finally removing them to show himself fully, coyly letting his underwear drop off his finger onto the floor.

“You’re so beautiful,” Yixing told him.

“I’m not the one with the dancer’s body,” Baekhyun told him. “Let me see you.”

Yixing hesitated for just a second before taking his shirt off, letting it drop on the floor, and then following the same exact order of clothing removal.

And then it was Baekhyun’s turn to gawk.

“Holy shit,” Baekhyun said. And really, he had always thought Chanyeol had been well endowed, but Yixing put him to shame. “You are so big.”

“Oh, yeah,” Yixing said, covering his penis with his hands.

“No, don’t hide it,” Baekhyun said laughing. “You need to have that on permanent display.”

Yixing blushed so hard that Baekhyun was sure his entire face was gonna burn from how red it was.

“Are you sure you don’t want a blow job?” Baekhyun asked, “Because I could go to town on that.”

“Oh my,” Yixing said, now using one of his hands to cover his face instead.

Baekhyun got onto Yixing’s bed and reached out for him, to pull him closer, getting on his knees and moving Yixing’s hand so he could get another look at it.

“I am going to take care of you so good tonight,” Baekhyun told him, and he was struck by how Yixing looked at him. He was no longer the smart engineer businessman running things. He looked his age, a bit younger actually, and like someone that needed guidance, which Baekhyun was more than happy to give him.

He did everything gently, and he read all his cues. From the kissing, to the licking, to finally the hand job, which Yixing didn’t mind being not as gentle as he got closer to his orgasm. They did make out throughout, Yixing becoming bolder in touching Baekhyun, and saying to himself “tactile” at one point as if needing to remind himself, right before he quickly grabbed for him and rubbed his hands around Baekhyun’s back.

When they were done and lying beside each other, panting and coming down from the natural high, Yixing mentioned, “That probably was your worst sexual experience ever. I’m sorry. I’ll get better.”

Baekhyun chuckled, and turned to face him.

“I literally almost died during sex. Nothing will ever be worse than that. This was fun. Did you enjoy it?”

“I’ve never been given a hand job that good.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, thinking about how Yixing had been in a rather lengthy relationship in college.

“Your ex never gave you a hand job that good?”

“No. He was a lot like me. So our sex life was a little… safe.”

“Well stick with me and I will blow your mind.”

“You already have,” Yixing said, reaching his hand up to caress Baekhyun’s cheek.

Baekhyun smiled at him, and leaned down to give him another kiss. A soft one.

“Do you want me to leave?” Baekhyun then asked him, unsure if he was the type to kick people out after sex.

“No, please stay. You don’t mind do you? Do you normally leave?”

“I do what the person whose house it is wants. If you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”

“Why would anyone ever want you to leave?”

“You’d be surprised,” Baekhyun said, loving at that moment that Yixing was entirely different from anyone he’d ever usually hooked up with.

He discovered that Yixing liked to cuddle as well, which was perfect for Baekhyun, because it had been much too long for him since he had last fallen asleep so comfortably cradled in someone’s arms.


	40. Baby Back Ribs

Kyungsoo was watching TV and chilling hard in boxers and a tee with his feet up on the coffee table when Jongin finally came home.

“You’re home,” Kyungsoo stated the obvious.

“Yeah, hi,” Jongin said with a smile and then disappeared to his room.

Kyungsoo scrambled to get up and went to Jongin’s room, crossing his arms and standing in the door frame as he watched Jongin rummage through one of his dresser drawers and pull out some clothes.

“So what happened?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Nothing,” Jongin said with a smile. “Jongdae and I went out on a date. It was fun.”

“You stayed the night with him?”

“Yeah. We hooked up.”

“Obviously,” Kyungsoo said, motioning for him to come forth with more information.

“What?” Jongin asked. “It was fun. There’s nothing more to say about it.”

“Are you into him?”

“No, it was just something to do. Jongdae needed a distraction from things, and I needed a distraction from things, so we distracted each other and had fun. It’s not deep.”

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but as long as they had fun, he guessed there was no need to worry.

“Do you guys think you’ll hook up again?” Kyungsoo asked as Jongin disappeared into his bathroom.

“Probably not,” Jongin called out.

And then he heard the shower run and Kyungsoo decided to leave him alone about the subject.

So maybe he had been overreacting in thinking that Baekhyun was up to something when he had orchestrated the date, and maybe Chanyeol was right and the sabotages were only done directly to him.

And maybe that’s why, when he clocked in and saw Baekhyun had dyed his hair red and looked like a damn anime, Kyungsoo began to get worried again that he was purposely trying to get Chanyeol’s attention to lure him away.

He realized that he couldn’t keep having these thoughts if he was going to stay sane during his relationship with Chanyeol, but the problem was that he kept having this small nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that he had jumped the gun. Jongin’s words had ended up getting to him, and Chanyeol had made him excited with all the wooing, and now he was paranoid that he was about to get slapped in the face with reality.

“So here’s what I’m thinking for tonight,” Chanyeol said, waiting by the window as Kyungsoo plated some burgers. “I just clocked out, so I’m thinking I’ll go to the studio, get everything set up, and when your shift is over, you come to the studio, and we can finally record the song.”

Kyungsoo had to smile because Chanyeol seemed so excited by the idea, and he nodded and said, “Sounds like a plan.”

“Why did you leave me with a cranky customer?” Jongdae said coming in and slapping Chanyeol on the head.

“What… oh yeah. Man, that guy’s been here three hours,” Chanyeol told him.

“Did he order his ribs three hours ago? Because he’s complaining that he hasn’t gotten his food.”

“I literally put that order in before I went to clock out.”

Then suddenly Kyungsoo had ribs tossed onto his grill by one of the other cooks.

“They’re coming right up,” Kyungsoo called out to them.

“Okay, so I’ll see you tonight,” Chanyeol told him. “I’m going to stop by the store and get us some studio snacks.”

“See you tonight,” Kyungsoo told him, turning the ribs over.

When it was time to plate them, Kyungsoo called out to one of the line cooks that the baked potato was missing, and then Kyungsoo noticed that Jongdae was still by the window waiting, sneaking a moment to check his phone.

“So, Jongin tells me you guys had fun on your date,” Kyungsoo mentioned.

Jongdae smiled and put his phone away in his jeans pocket.

“Yeah, he’s a really cool guy,” Jongdae stated. “We had a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad,” Kyungsoo said, giving him a smile back as well, and the baked potato finally showed up to finish the plate.

After their night of bowling, Kyungsoo had found a new appreciation for Jongdae, who seemed like a sensible friend for Chanyeol. He had decided that night that he wouldn’t mind if the three of them hung out together again. In the time he had been working there, Kyungsoo hadn’t really made any friends outside of Chanyeol. He knew it was because he worked back of the house and there was less time and opportunity to be chummy with people, not to mention that unlike those in the front of the house, the back of the house tended to like to go straight home after work instead of hanging out.

After he clocked out, he headed to the studio. He found Chanyeol inside at the control board, adjusting whatever controls and looking intense as he did so. Kyungsoo snuck a picture of him on his phone before knocking to announce his presence.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said, taking his headphones off. “Perfect timing. I think I finally got the right mix going.”

“Nice,” Kyungsoo said, giving him a kiss before heading to the vocal booth.

The lyrics were waiting for him on the stand in front of the mic, and Kyungsoo read over them again and did some vocal warmups as he did so. Then he put on his headphones and signaled to Chanyeol that he was ready.

He often wished he could explain to people how much he loved singing. There never seemed to be a comparison strong enough, or an emotion that conveyed the right meaning, so he would usually just say that it’s as important as breathing to him and leave it at that.

The emotion he poured into the lyrics were his own, even though he knew where they had originally came from, and it wasn’t hard for him to know that he could feel similarly if he had lost who he had thought was his lifeline. It spoke to him on the level of his usual conundrum when in a relationship. Jongin hadn’t been completely wrong. He loved the idea of being in one, but he was scared to ever fully give himself to another person. It was why he cut things off with his ex when their future plans had diverged. There was a part of him that felt his own independence was just as important as being with someone, and it had always been an internal battle for him to juggle the two.

“That was so perfect. I don’t think we even need another take,” Chanyeol told him when he was done. The man behind the controls just stared at him with a sense of awe, and Kyungsoo told him to play it back.

As he listened to the song and his vocals, he knew that the first take had the most honest emotion, and anything after that would be trying to improve upon something that wouldn’t be as real, so he agreed, and went to the control room.

He sat on Chanyeol’s lap on the chair, straddling him and facing him, placing his arms around Chanyeol’s neck, which Chanyeol had not expected judging from the surprised smile on his face and the slight hesitation before grabbing Kyungsoo’s hips.

“Your voice is so perfect,” Chanyeol told him.

“Your music is so perfect,” Kyungsoo told him back, and he leaned his head in to kiss him, which Chanyeol whole-heartedly reciprocated.

“You are so perfect,” Chanyeol then told him between kisses, and then his tongue was in Kyungsoo’s mouth, and Kyungsoo grinded his hips against him, making Chanyeol moan right into his mouth.

They ended up moving to the small black leather couch in the control room soon after, and somehow Kyungsoo didn’t feel tired anymore as he shoved his hand down the front of Chanyeol’s pants, causing Chanyeol’s hips to buck as they both deepened their kiss.

They made out for a bit before rushing back to Chanyeol’s place to properly get each other off, and Kyungsoo fell asleep happily in bliss, feeling comfortable and satiated next to his big giant of a boyfriend.

But in the morning, he found himself suddenly anxious.

“You look like you think you might have left your stove on at home,” Chanyeol teased him, setting coffee in front of him at the table.

“Oh, sorry,” Kyungsoo said, relaxing as he took a sip, liking very much how Chanyeol knew exactly how he took it.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I think I’m having an existential crisis about my lack of a singing career,” Kyungsoo admitted.

“You won’t be lacking it for long,” Chanyeol told him as he joined him at the table with his own coffee and a plate of waffles, covered in syrup, for them to share.

“I’ve been distracted by work,” Kyungsoo told him. “I should be doing more open mic nights and finding showcases and auditions for music shows. That’s why I moved out here.”

“You’ll do them. I can find you a list of places, and then we can start hitting them up. And once I’m done mixing this song, I’ll put it together with a few of your other songs so you can get your SoundCloud up.”

Kyungsoo smiled at him, grateful for his support, but he also felt that Chanyeol had been a distraction, and Kyungsoo had only convinced himself he wasn’t because he was helping him with his music, but still.

“I think I lost focus a bit,” Kyungsoo said. “But now I think I can start focusing on it again.”

“I’ll do anything to help,” Chanyeol told him.

“I know you will,” Kyungsoo said, almost smiling bashfully at how much Chanyeol supported him and liked him. Chanyeol wore his heart on his sleeve and Kyungsoo found that he liked that a lot. “What about your music dreams?”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol said, cutting himself off a piece of the waffle with his fork. “I want it to be my career, but it’s such a saturated market in this city. Everyone’s got songs. Everyone’s a producer. Everyone’s looking for the right collab to take them to the next level. I’m not always sure I want music to become complicated for me.”

“That’s how Jongin feels about his dancing,” Kyungsoo told him, eating the waffle as well. “I think it’s harder for you and him because you’re both insanely talented, so it feels it should be easier somehow or not require having to jump through all the hoops, but then you realize success in the industry is less about talent and more about likeability and it makes you feel like what’s the point.”

“Yeah, something like that,” Chanyeol nodded. “Which applies to you as well, and Jongdae, whose voice is ridiculous, and Baekhyun who’s an amazing actor. It’d be nice if just one of us could make it, and then that person could bring everyone else along.”

“If my demo lands me a deal, then I’m only signing a contract that says you’re my producer on it.”

“Same. If my songs ever get picked up, I’m saying they can only be sung by you.”

“You’ll have to let Jongdae sing too.”

Chanyeol pretended to give a long-suffering sigh but then laughed.

“Fine, you can share with Jongdae.”

“You should write a song we could sing together,” Kyungsoo suggested as he cut the remaining waffle into equal parts for the both of them. “I think it’d be fun to sing with him.”

“Would you?” Chanyeol said brightening at the suggestion. “I would totally love that. I’ll come up with something perfect for the both of your voices.”

“I can’t wait,” Kyungsoo said, feeding Chanyeol a piece of the waffle.

Kyungsoo felt a renewed energy having talked about his music plans, and he felt a bit more hopeful that he could get back on track. After breakfast, they could look up open mic nights and set up a schedule, and Kyungsoo now had a new song that he needed to practice. He finished his coffee and the last bite of waffle before ordering Chanyeol to the couch so they could get started.


	41. Loaded Potato Skins

After Jongdae had clocked in, hearing the words “Junmyeon wants to see you in the office” was not the first words he had wanted to hear out of anyone’s mouth.

He thanked Yeri for letting him know and headed down to the basement where things were getting set up for karaoke night.

“You wanted to see me?” He asked after knocking and peeking his head in.

“Yeah, come in,” Junmyeon said with a smile that made Jongdae think that he wasn’t in trouble or being fired.

Jongdae closed the door behind him then sat after Junmyeon told him to sit in the small folding chair by the desk.

“Did I do something wrong?” Jongdae asked anyway.

“No, I did,” Junmyeon told him, swiveling in his chair to face him better as he rolled it over to be closer to him. “Or at least I think I did. I thought after our last conversation and my last apology that we had an understanding, but it seems you still get tense whenever I’m around, so I wanted to make it clear that I don’t have anything against you. I think you’re a great bartender, and you should relax and have fun while you’re here.”

Jongdae felt rather embarrassed by this second apology, but he wasn’t sure how to explain why he was always freaked out when Junmyeon came by. It was probably because deep down inside, Jongdae felt he was doing something he shouldn’t be doing, but admitting that wouldn’t do him any favors.

“Okay, I’ll keep that in mind,” Jongdae said, not sure what else to say.

“You still seem tense,” Junmyeon observed.

Jongdae tried to relax his shoulders and put on a fake smile.

“That seems very put on,” Junmyeon observed again.

Jongdae sighed and genuinely smiled in exasperation.

Junmyeon smiled back at him and said, “Look. I know I don’t come off as cool as the rest of you, and I believe in following the rules, but Minseok is my best friend, and I would never tell on him to corporate or do anything to make him lose his job. It’s not easy for me to protect him in this situation because I don’t agree with it, but I do, so you don’t have to worry about me saying anything. Your job isn’t on the line as long as corporate doesn’t catch you guys themselves.”

Jongdae nodded and looked down at his hands, not realizing his fingers had been nervously playing with each other.

“I feel I’m in a bit of a mess,” Jongdae admitted, and he looked back at him to see Junmyeon paying close attention. “I’m not the type of person that normally finds myself in these kinds of situations, so I think I just don’t know how to deal with any of it.”

“Have you told Minseok that?”

Jongdae shook his head.

“We don’t really talk about things like that,” he admitted.

“Maybe you should.”

Jongdae shook his head again and shrugged, “It’s not supposed to be that deep.”

“It sounds like it is,” Junmyeon said, his face having the decency to show concern instead of judgement this time, which just made Jongdae feel more pathetic about it.

“I should get to work,” Jongdae said as he got up from the chair.

“Relax and have fun, okay?”

“I will,” Jongdae nodded, giving him a small smile again as he left.

He did try and relax a bit more, maybe feeling a little better in knowing that Junmyeon wasn’t going to rat them out. Or at least Minseok out. It hadn’t escaped Jongdae’s notice that he had only really said that he wouldn’t tell on Minseok, and it was clear Junmyeon still had strong feelings about the situation, so Jongdae didn’t put it past him to rat only him out if he thought it could end it.

This was all so complicated, and Jongdae tried to focus on his customers instead, giving the two women who had sat down at his bar just then a big smile and asking them what they’d like to start with. He put in their order for loaded potato skins that they planned on sharing and then started filling their beers from the tap when Chanyeol sided up to him.

“What’s going on with Baekhyun and his regular?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s acting chummier with him than usual,” Chanyeol said, nodding toward the regular’s table.

Jongdae glanced over to see Baekhyun leaning over the table as he whispered something in his regular’s ear that made him light up and laugh.

“Oh, yeah, they’ve been going on dates,” Jongdae let him know, taking the beers to the two women.

Jongdae checked up on some of his other barflies and then stood by the sink, knowing Chanyeol would have more questions.

“How long has that been going on?”

“I don’t know. A couple of weeks? I didn’t think it’d go past the second date, but here we are.”

“Why didn’t you think it’d go past the second date?” Chanyeol asked, looking back over at the table as if trying to figure out what was happening.

“Because he was really rude and judgmental, and Baekhyun just took it and agreed to another date. I told him not to see him anymore, but you know how he is. Either way, it seems to have worked out a bit, so maybe he’s not as rude as he came off initially.”

“So, we’re supporting this?” Chanyeol asked, looking back at Jongdae. “Like, you think it’s okay?”

“You,” Jongdae said, giving him his own unsure look, “Shouldn’t care?”

“I care if it means I don’t have to worry about Baekhyun ruining my relationship with Kyungsoo.”

“That’s totally in your hands,” Jongdae reminded him.

“Right, but it helps out,” Chanyeol explained. “But on the other hand, Baekhyun shouldn’t be getting involved with someone who’s going to make things worse for him and his self-esteem.”

“Not your concern,” Jongdae also reminded him.

“It is. He’s my friend.”

“No, he’s not. He’s your ex-boyfriend, and it’s not your concern. You have a new boyfriend who I don’t think would appreciate you digging this deeply into this.”

Chanyeol pouted at him, but nodded and said, “No, you’re right. Habit.”

“I know you can’t help but be concerned about him,” Jongdae said, as he turned his attention to drink orders popping up on the screen, “But I promise you that I’ve got my eye on this. You don’t have to worry.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol said grabbing some glasses to help out with the orders.

Jongdae had many concerns as well when Baekhyun had told him of a third date, and then sleeping over, and then not being able to wait for their next date, and so on. He really did seem to like him, and Baekhyun made it seem like this Yixing guy was just someone that he had to get to know better to understand, which Jongdae didn’t love the sound of, but was willing to go with for now.

“Don’t get your ass fired for PDA,” Jongdae teased Baekhyun when he came to the bar to pick up some drink orders.

“I’m being on my best behavior!” Baekhyun laughed, acting affronted at the accusation.

“If I glance back over there and see you on his lap, I’m calling corporate myself and telling them I’m feeling attacked.”

“I’m going to save the lap dance for when we’re back at his place. Did I tell you about his amazing balcony?”

“Like a hundred times already. Don’t get arrested giving him a lap dance on his balcony.”

“I’m not sure I can promise that,” Baekhyun said with a smirk as he whisked his tray of drinks away.

Jongdae shook his head, amused, and got back to work. He was in a much better mood and enjoying the hours as they flew by, partially in anticipation since Minseok had texted him in the middle of his shift to ask if he wanted to hang out after he was done. Jongdae had told him sure, and asked if he should meet him at the hotel, but when Minseok replied that he’d meet him at his place, Jongdae was surprised, until he started to suspect why.

On the bright side, with Baekhyun heading to Yixing’s that night (Jongdae silently prayed for any neighbors with a view of that balcony), at least Jongdae and Minseok would have the place to themselves.

Minseok arrived about ten minutes after Jongdae did, and he let him in, greeting him with a kiss before Minseok took his shoes off and headed to his bedroom with him after Jongdae got them both some water.

“Was it a crazy night?” Minseok asked, as he put his overnight bag on Jongdae’s desk chair.

“It wasn’t too bad. It was mostly fun,” Jongdae said, stripping out of his shirt to try and lose some of the aura of beer and sweat that defined a busy night. “I missed you though.”

“I missed you too,” Minseok said, watching him and not stripping out of anything, and Jongdae’s heart may have fluttered stupidly a little. Did he miss him just from the night at work? Or did he mean he missed him the entire three days Luhan had been in town?

“I should probably shower first,” Jongdae told him.

“I showered before I came over,” Minseok told him. “I’ll get comfortable.”

Jongdae nodded and went to take a quick shower, feeling way more refreshed and ready for a night with Minseok. He came out with just a towel wrapped around his waist to find Minseok scrolling through his phone on Jongdae’s bed, only in his boxers.

Jongdae memorized it, wishing that was the norm. How great it would be to come home to this sight every night, but he shook the memory away and came to the side of the bed, teasing Minseok by asking, “Should I put some boxers on too?”

Minseok smirked and put his phone on the nightstand before getting up on his knees and tugging at Jongdae’s towel to let it fall free.

“I think this works just fine,” Minseok said, and he seemed to be enjoying the view as he ran his hands around Jongdae’s hips and around the back to grab his ass.

Jongdae bit his lip and let out a soft moan, or some sound that was something like that. Sometimes Jongdae had no explanation for the sounds that came out of his mouth when Minseok touched him.

“So I heard a rumor,” Minseok said, as he leaned down to drop a kiss on Jongdae’s hip bone.

“I had a feeling,” Jongdae said, surprised he’d even bring it up, or even care enough to bring it up.

“Are you into Jongin?” Minseok asked, switching to the other hip bone.

“No, we were just having fun,” Jongdae said, each tease of a kiss making his dick twitch.

“Was it more fun than when you’re with me?” Minseok asked, looking up at him, dangerously close to where Jongdae wanted his lips to go next.

“I was thinking about you the whole time,” Jongdae told him with the type of honesty that only came from having the boy of your dreams this close to your dick, and Minseok rewarded him well for the answer, wrapping his lips around him and giving him a blowjob that Jongdae knew he’d never forget.

Later, after they both were well-spent and barely able to stay awake, Jongdae got lost in his thoughts about wondering at what point Minseok had heard about his date, and what his reaction was, and why it mattered so much to him that he had to come over and prove a point. It wasn’t supposed to be this deep, and yet it all suddenly felt like an abyss with no bottom.


	42. Turkey Burger

It had taken him a couple of days, but Chanyeol had finished Kyungsoo’s songs and sent him the file, calling him to get his immediate reaction.

“I’m still in bed,” Kyungsoo’s voice said over the phone.

“Open the file I sent you and tell me what you think of your amazing, award-winning music,” Chanyeol told him, feeling his stomach flip a few times. He hoped he didn’t hate it. How could he hate it? Kyungsoo could have sang over an audio file of Chanyeol banging on pots and pans and it would have been amazing.

“You finished?” Kyungsoo asked, his voice suddenly excited, and Chanyeol could hear him rummage in his sheets.

“I did. I was up until now, so you have to listen to it and tell me what you think so I can go take a nap before work.”

“Okay, give me a sec,” Kyungsoo said.

Chanyeol could hear him moving about and then typing on some keys on his laptop, and then he heard the first song play and Chanyeol smiled so wide that he was glad that Kyungsoo wasn’t there to see him smiling like a dork.

“This sounds so good,” Kyungsoo said in the middle of the first song.

“All you, babe,” Chanyeol told him because, really, it was.

When he finished listening to the songs, Kyungsoo said, “Wow.”

“So you like it?”

“I love it. This is so good. You’re so good.”

“So go upload it to your SoundCloud so we can start sending the link out. I have a list.”

“Yes!” Kyungsoo said and Chanyeol laughed. “I have a list too. I’ll start on it while you nap.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tonight at work. Bye, babe.”

“Good night. Have sweet dreams.”

Chanyeol smiled and hung up, and he did try his best to have a good nap, but he was too excited about the songs and kept thinking of who he could send it to. This wasn’t just a big chance for Kyungsoo, but one for him as well, letting companies know what he was capable of doing.

On his way to work, he stopped to get himself some coffee, and it only helped him mildly as he clocked in and went to see how the bar looked.

“Okay, if it stays like this, I’m good,” Chanyeol remarked to Jongdae.

“Long night?” Jongdae asked him as he looked through the order screen, which was currently empty.

“I was up all night working on Kyungsoo’s songs. They’re amazing, and you have to listen to it.”

“I can’t wait. Maybe now you can work on some new songs for me.”

“I think your old ones still work.”

“Not if everyone’s listened to it and already passed on it.”

Chanyeol sighed, knowing that was unfortunately true.

“Okay, new songs it is,” Chanyeol told him as he started walking away. “I’m going to say hi to Kyungsoo real quick since it’s dead over here.”

Jongdae nodded and went to continue some of his side work while Chanyeol headed to the kitchen with a big smile that got only bigger when he saw that Kyungsoo had made it in and was putting his apron on.

“You always look so hot in your apron,” Chanyeol told him, and Kyungsoo shoved his shoulder.

“Shut up,” he said, and then he took a good look at him. “Did your nap not go well?”

“I was too excited. It’s okay. I got coffee.”

“I’ll get you more on our break,” Kyungsoo told him before heading to the grill.

Chanyeol headed back to the bar where he took another big gulp of his coffee and noticed Baekhyun flirting with his regular again.

“So, how’s that going?” Chanyeol asked Jongdae. “Since you’re keeping an eye on things,” he was sure to add.

Jongdae knew him better than that so Chanyeol wasn’t surprised when his friend raised his eyebrows at him.

“It’s going,” Jongdae replied anyway. “Baek keeps spending the night with him so his regular is becoming a very regular thing.”

“And we’re still okay with that?”

“I’m okay with that for now. You don’t care.”

Right. He didn’t care.

Except that he very much did care because Baekhyun had always felt like his responsibility, and after saving his life however many weeks ago, they still hadn’t talked, and there had been no real closure to whatever had happened that night, much less their whole relationship.

He was happy that Baekhyun had found someone else, but Chanyeol was also fearful that maybe this guy wouldn’t really be able to handle Baekhyun once he started showing his other side, or maybe this guy wasn’t equipped to handle Baekhyun when his mood changed and he began to fall into despondency.

But then Chanyeol thought that maybe instead of wondering, he should confront the situation head on. And maybe he could even help out.

He looked at the orders on the screen and saw that the table next to his had food coming up, so he left the bar again and went to pick up the order on behalf of Baekhyun.

“Is the turkey burger for table 8 ready?” Chanyeol asked as he went straight to the window.

“It’s that one,” Kyungsoo pointed out, and maybe if he hadn’t been on a mission, he would have thought more about the odd look that Kyungsoo had given him when he took it from the window.

Chanyeol headed straight to the table, grateful that Baekhyun was now occupied with another table that wasn’t in close vicinity. He dropped off the turkey burger then walked to the regular’s table, realizing he had never really taken a good look at him before. He was certainly attractive, with soft features, lazy brown eyes, and a calm demeanor.

“Hey,” Chanyeol began, not even sure what he wanted to say, but feeling that he had to say something. “I heard you’ve been seeing Baekhyun a bit?”

The man looked up at him, almost as if assessing him before replying to him. Then again, Jongdae had said he was judgmental, so more than likely he actually was assessing him.

“You’re his ex,” the man stated.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said smiling a little. “Oh good, he’s mentioned me. I’m Chanyeol,” he said, putting his hand out for a shake in greeting.

“I’m Yixing,” the regular said, not returning the handshake and now looking at him with slight suspicion.

“That is not a Korean name,” Chanyeol noted, mostly to hide the awkwardness of him taking his hand back without it being shaken.

“Chinese,” he said, “Is there something I can help you with?”

Okay, this guy didn’t seem nice at all, but Chanyeol cleared his throat and glanced to see that Baekhyun was still busy with his other table, so he continued on.

“I just… heard that you and Baekhyun were seeing each other, and I wanted to kind of warn you about something.”

“Warn me?” Yixing asked, now looking very interested.

“He’s great,” Chanyeol was quick to say, not wanting him to get the wrong impression. “I mean, you probably know that by now. He’s very energetic and full of life, and really great at making you laugh. But, there’s this other side to him. Sometimes he gets very sad, and very moody, and it’s very hard to deal with because you want to help him, but you can’t figure out how. But he takes medication for it. It’s just that, when he drinks too much and does other stuff, it keeps the medication from working the way it should, so then he gets really sad again, and he won’t leave his bed, and he’ll just cry all day, and it’s… I just wish someone had warned me,” Chanyeol felt the need to explain as Yixing stared at him in surprise and concern. “I wasn’t prepared for it, so I didn’t deal with it in the best way, but maybe if you know in advance, when it happens, you can be ready for it, and maybe you can help him and not just give up on him because you didn’t know what else to do.”

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun asked, and Chanyeol’s neck almost snapped as he looked to see Baekhyun now standing at the table, looking as if he had rushed over.

“I was just…” Chanyeol now had no words, as he watched Baekhyun look between him and Yixing.

“What did you tell him?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said, now realizing that he shouldn’t have interfered in this way. He wasn’t supposed to be caring. He should have stayed out of it. “I just thought I could help.”

Baekhyun had already begun to realize what had probably been said, and Chanyeol’s answer solidified it for him. Baekhyun turned and ran out of the front of the restaurant, Yixing hesitating for only a moment before running out after him.

“Chanyeol!” He heard Jongdae’s loud voice say from the bar, and he turned to look at him, still feeling stunned and suddenly numb by what he had done and how the affected parties had reacted. “What did you do?” Jongdae asked him.

Chanyeol shook his head and had only one goal in his mind – to hide.

He headed out the back of the restaurant and held his head in his hands, trembling as he realized that he had probably royally fucked things up for Baekhyun.

“What the hell just happened?” Jongdae asked him, having followed him.

“I was just trying to help,” Chanyeol said, more to himself, his mind feeling fuzzy all of a sudden.

“What did you do?” Jongdae grabbed Chanyeol’s hands away from his head and forced him to look at him.

Before he could even begin speaking, a tear broke free from his eye, and then another.

“I just thought if I warned him, of what he was getting into, that he’d be better at handling Baekhyun’s issues,” Chanyeol said, and now the tears were really falling.

“No, you didn’t,” Jongdae said, looking a bit horrified. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

“I just wanted to help,” Chanyeol said, “I just wish someone had warned me.”

Chanyeol crouched down to hold himself as he cried and his body shuddered with each new wave of tears.

He heard the door open and then Minseok’s voice ask, “Why do I not have bartenders right now?”

“Can you cover for us real quick?” Jongdae asked him. “Please?”

Chanyeol heard the door open and close again, and then Jongdae crouched in front of him, putting his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“It’s okay,” Jongdae said. “I mean, what you did isn’t okay, but what’s done is done. I get why you did what you did, and no, it wasn’t your place to do it, but I get why you did it.”

“What if I just set him off into one of his depression episodes?” Chanyeol asked as he tried to catch his breath. “What if he starts to party harder now to deal with this? What if this Yixing guy decides to not see him again because of this and Baekhyun can’t handle it? Why didn’t I think of all this before I did this?”

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told you before,” Jongdae said, making sure Chanyeol looked at him before continuing, “It’s not your concern. I’ll keep an eye on the situation. The only thing you need to do in regards to Baekhyun now is apologize to him. Outside of that, you need to move on. Let him go, Chanyeol. You never really have, but now you have to. For the sake of your sanity and his.”

Chanyeol hadn’t expected those words, nor the impact they had on him as his heart broke and his body shuddered all over again. He moved from his crouching position into a sitting position and dropped his head into his hands again, letting more tears out as he thought about how he really hadn’t moved on. There was a part of him that still very much belonged to Baekhyun, but not in the way he had originally suspected. It wasn’t love, or desire, or affection, or lust. It was responsibility, as if he couldn’t quite cut that last string that bound them out of fear that if he did, Baekhyun wouldn’t survive the outcome.

He heard Jongdae shift, and then he could hear the faint sound of a phone ringing.

“Hey, please tell me you’re not busy tonight and can cover Chanyeol’s shift,” Jongdae said into the phone.

Chanyeol could hear Irene’s voice talking back to him, though he couldn’t make out what she said, and Chanyeol wanted to protest and insist that he could finish out his shift. All he had to do was pull himself back together.

“It’s an emergency,” Jongdae continued. “No, he’s fine. It’s a personal matter.”

Chanyeol took another deep breath, trying to stabilize his emotions a bit.

“You’re a life saver, and I owe you a matcha latte. Yeah, take your time. I can hold down the fort until you get here. Thank you thank you thank you.”

“I could stay,” Chanyeol said, wiping his face.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” Jongdae said. “Let’s clock you out, and then you’re going home. Do I need to call you an Uber?”

“I can’t just leave.”

“You’re leaving,” Jongdae stood up and pat his back. “I’m going to go clock you out right now and then explain to Minseok the situation. When I come back out here, you better be gone.” He grabbed Chanyeol’s arm to tug at him to get up.

Chanyeol managed to stand up, and Jongdae gave him a hug.

“Go home, call me when you get there so I know you’re okay, and don’t worry. This will all work out. Just let the dust settle.”

Chanyeol nodded and hugged him back, then watched Jongdae run back inside before he headed toward the employee parking lot.

The magnitude of what he had done hit him again while he was driving, and then once more as he collapsed onto his bed and sobbed himself to sleep.

But he hadn’t realized then that the worst outcome of his actions had yet to come.

He woke up to his phone ringing, and thinking it was Baekhyun calling to cuss him out, he picked up immediately only to realize it was Kyungsoo asking him if he was home.

“Yes, I am,” Chanyeol answered, rubbing his bleary eyes.

“Then open the door,” Kyungsoo said, and then he hung up, leaving Chanyeol a bit confused.

He pulled himself out of his bed and padded over to the door, opening it to find a very unhappy Kyungsoo staring at him.

“Have you been out there for long?” Chanyeol asked as Kyungsoo pushed his way past him and turned to face him.

“About ten minutes.”

“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol said closing the door and feeling like a complete ass yet again. “I didn’t hear my phone. I was a bit out of it.”

“Jongdae told me what happened,” Kyungsoo stated.

Chanyeol could feel his face pale.

“It was stupid of me. I don’t know why I did it,” Chanyeol told him, shaking his head.

“Because you still have feelings for him,” Kyungsoo said, and the look he was giving Chanyeol was dangerous and made Chanyeol’s nerves begin to shatter.

“I don’t…”

“Yes, you do. I was stupid rushing into this relationship with you when you two still had things so unfinished.”

“No,” Chanyeol said, feeling everything fall away from him. “That’s not it at all. You’re the one I chose. It’s you that I want. I don’t have feelings for Baekhyun.”

“Stop lying about this,” Kyungsoo threw at him with vitriol that hurt Chanyeol to hear in his voice. “You’ve never gotten completely over him, and I was the idiot that didn’t wait long enough for you to resolve your feelings with him.”

Chanyeol shook his head again, “No. That’s not true.”

“It is true. But you know what, Chanyeol? It’s fine. Go figure your shit out with Baekhyun. Go get back with him for all I care.”

“I don’t want to get back with him!” Chanyeol cried out. “I want to be with you.”

“If you really wanted to be with me,” Kyungsoo said, holding a steady gaze on him. “Then you wouldn’t have been thinking about him.”

“That’s not fair,” Chanyeol said, feeling his heart break completely now as Kyungsoo pushed past him and opened the door. “Wait, don’t leave.”

“We’re done. I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t.” Kyungsoo said, giving him one last glance, and then slamming the door behind him as he left.

And now Chanyeol could barely breathe as he collapsed onto the floor and started sobbing all over again, not knowing how one stupid decision had led to all of this.

Or maybe he did know. Maybe he knew all along that he wasn’t going to be able to truly end his relationship with Baekhyun without suffering a bit more. Kyungsoo had been an incredible dream, and now he had lost him and found himself back in the nightmare he had tried to escape years ago.


	43. House Caesar

Of all the things Baekhyun could have predicted happening that day, being betrayed by Chanyeol hadn’t even crossed his mind. He didn’t know what to do. His blood had run cold the moment he saw Chanyeol talking to Yixing at the table. And now he was pacing back and forth in the alleyway between Barry’s and the Mexican place, hands in his hair and convinced that his life was somehow over.

“Baekhyun,” he heard Yixing’s voice say, and the last thing he wanted to do was see the person that probably thought he had now been a waste of his time.

Baekhyun chose to respond by not responding at all and continuing to pace. Something would make itself clear soon enough. He was sure of it. If only his frazzled nerves could calm down enough to let him think.

“Baekhyun,” Yixing said again, grabbing his wrist and gently turning him to face him. “Hey, are you alright?”

Was he alright? How was he supposed to respond to such an absurd question?

“What did he tell you?” Baekhyun asked him, noticing that Yixing’s face only expressed concern and nothing else.

“That sometimes you get very sad, and your mood changes, and you take medication to help you. Is that true?”

Baekhyun stared at him in silence, feeling his bottom lip tremble slightly, and he attempted to stop it by pushing it up against his top lip, forming a pout as he nodded and tried to keep his emotions back so he didn’t end up crying in front of him.

Yixing reached his hand up to touch Baekhyun’s cheek, caressing it softly for a moment as he looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“Why don’t you come over tonight after your shift? And then we can talk about it.”

“You still want me to come over?” Baekhyun asked, not sure why his voice suddenly sounded so small.

Yixing replied with a simple kiss to his cheek and then gave him a nod and said, “We’ll talk tonight, okay?”

It made Baekhyun feel a little better to know that Yixing wouldn’t just run away from him screaming, never to be seen again. He figured Yixing had some sort of formality for ending things in the first place. He supposed he’d find out what that was tonight.

He tried to focus back on his customers and the tables he had abandoned, catching up on his orders and grateful that others had run his food out for him, which made him think that word had spread around the restaurant about what had happened. It was fine though. He just needed to make it through the night, and then… well then whatever happened at Yixing’s would happen.

“You alright?” Jongdae asked him a bit later when he went to the bar to pick up drinks.

“I’m just trying to finish my shift,” Baekhyun admitted, and he looked past Jongdae to notice Irene was now the second bartender.

“Hang in there. And let me know if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Dae,” Baekhyun told him, offering the half-smile he was capable of before running his drinks to his table.

He did make it through his shift, and once he had finished his side work and tipped out everyone that he needed to, he grabbed his lunch leftovers that he had barely touched and headed over to Yixing’s place.

Yixing normally would have buzzed him in to the lobby and come down to get him since Baekhyun didn’t have a keycard for the elevator, but this time Yixing greeted him at the entrance, letting him in with a smile and commenting on the leftovers.

“Yeah, I wasn’t really that hungry,” Baekhyun shrugged off as he followed him into the elevator. “But it’s a Caesar salad, so I figured we could share it as a late-night snack. It seemed up your alley.”

Yixing gave him a soft smile and nodded, then let him walk out of the elevator first. Once they were in his apartment, Yixing grabbed them napkins from the napkin holder and was about to bring plates when Baekhyun raised his eyebrow.

“Right, we’ll eat out of the container,” Yixing said to himself, and put the plates back, just bringing the napkins and an extra fork.

Why did he have to be so adorable right in this moment? Baekhyun didn’t think this felt like a final meeting between them, and he wasn’t sure how much he should let his guard down.

“So you were keeping this from me,” Yixing said, though it didn’t sound like an accusation. “And I understand why, but why don’t you tell me about it now?”

Baekhyun ate a forkful of salad before beginning, being completely honest as he explained how college was fun until he suddenly found himself stressed and not capable of handling something as simple as an exam without breaking down.

“I didn’t think anything was wrong with me,” he said, grabbing another forkful. “I just thought I couldn’t handle college. But my friends said that it seemed something was wrong, so they told me to see someone about it. And I’ve been seeing someone ever since.”

“Do you have an official diagnosis for it?” Yixing asked as Baekhyun ate more salad.

Baekhyun nodded and told him, “The official diagnosis is that I have an adjustment disorder. Sometimes it comes with depression, sometimes with anxiety, sometimes with both.”

“So you have issues with changes,” Yixing figured out for himself.

“Good and bad,” Baekhyun confirmed. “If it’s a good change, it usually comes with the anxiety. If it’s a bad change, the depression.”

“That’s fascinating,” Yixing stated. “Sorry, I’m not making light.”

“I know,” Baekhyun said with a small smile to let him know he wasn’t offended. “It didn’t really start until college, although once I started going to therapy, I realized that I had mild episodes of it when I was younger. It just became full-fledged later for some reason. My parents have always been supportive of me and really good at taking care of me, so without knowing, they were providing me with tools and ways to handle situations that would come up. So it wasn’t until I went to college and had to start figuring things out on my own that I realized I couldn’t. It was too stressful.”

“Do you handle things better now? Since you’re on medication and in therapy?”

Baekhyun wanted to say yes, but he had been too honest already.

“Sometimes, but mostly, no. I’m trying really hard now though, after the whole almost dying thing. I haven’t been drinking as much, and I sort of made you my focus instead of partying every night. I have to admit that I’ve kind of been using you. I needed something different to take my mind off things. I… well, you met my ex-boyfriend today. Needless to say, I didn’t adjust well to him breaking up with me, and I’ve spent these last couple of years not dealing all that greatly with it. But he got a new boyfriend recently and… it’s kind of messed me up. I’m trying not to let it, but it does, and I thought getting distracted by you would help.”

“Has it?” Yixing asked, holding his fork mid-air over the salad.

“A little,” Baekhyun admitted. “I find myself thinking about our dates more than them together. So, yeah, a little.”

Yixing smiled and nodded, eating more of the salad and then saying, “Well I held something back from you too.”

Baekhyun looked at him surprised and said, “You have?”

“It’s why I understand why you didn’t tell me about your disorder,” Yixing told him with a supportive expression. “I have one of my own.”

Baekhyun was thrown for a complete loop. He had never been the one on the other side of this conversation before, and he had no idea what to expect. His heart raced a little, though he wasn’t sure why.

“What’s your disorder?” Baekhyun asked him.

“So, I was born with a blood disorder,” Yixing stated, placing his fork down and giving his full attention to Baekhyun. “It’s not contagious. It’s not something you have to worry about catching. It’s just a genetic disorder I was born with. I’m lucky in that I don’t have a severe form of it like some others, but I still do have to be careful to not injure myself. It’s why my parents wouldn’t let me do any sports, especially contact sports, but they thought dancing would be okay.”

Baekhyun knew he must have looked like an insect with the way he was staring at Yixing right now, but Yixing continued.

“It’s also why I freaked out when you started giving me that hickey at the club. I can’t have that kind of thing done to me because it’s a bruise, and bruises can lead to a lot worse for me. So that’s why I asked you to be gentle.”

“Oh my God, Xing,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head, “You should have told me this that first night that we made out. That’s so scary.”

“It’s hard to tell people things like that without scaring them away. I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Baekhyun nodded. “Same reason I didn’t tell you about my thing. Except that with your thing, I could have really hurt you while we were making out.”

“I know how to deal with my thing. If you had started doing something to me that I knew couldn’t be done, I would have stopped you. Like that night at the club.”

Baekhyun was freaked out and fascinated all at once.

“So what exactly happens when something goes wrong?” He asked, putting his fork down as well now.

“Like you, I also take medicine for my condition,” he explained. “And if I do start bleeding internally, I have injections I can take to help my blood clot, at least until I can get to a treatment center for replacement therapy. I have a lot of links I can share with you if you want to learn more.”

“Send them to me,” Baekhyun said with a quick nod. “And I’ll send you the ones for mine.”

“Deal,” Yixing said with a smile, and then he lost the smile and looked at him tentatively, “So, you still want to see me? Even after knowing this?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing, but you kind of stole my thunder with yours,” Baekhyun said with a small chuckle. What were the chances? He thought he had issues, but at least he could get a hickey without worrying about internal bleeding. That was crazy.

“I do still want to see you. I’m going to do my research on your disorder. I’m great at doing research,” Yixing told him. “Also a side effect of not being allowed to play outside with the other kids. My parents were very overprotective because of my condition, so I spent most of my time studying.”

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,” Baekhyun said with a pout. “I’m going to make sure you play a lot. There’s ways to play without hurting yourself.”

“And I’m going to provide a good support system for you so you can better handle change.”

“Okay, but I don’t need another dad,” Baekhyun warned him. “Like, I’m sure CDC facts are interesting to you, but I don’t need them thrown at me every time I do something you don’t approve of.”

“I’m sorry for that,” Yixing said, looking a little embarrassed by it. “And no, of course, not like a dad. More like a… well a friend, I guess.”

“My best friend Jongdae might like having some of the pressure taken off him,” Baekhyun said thinking about it and then smiling. “He’s the shorter bartender that I’m always talking to at the bar. He’s also my roommate.”

“Oh,” Yixing said with a nod. “Well then yes. I can help to take the pressure off him a bit.”

“You really wanna do this?” Baekhyun asked him again. He had to make sure. He didn’t want to get his hopes up just to be dumped all over again.

“I do,” Yixing said. “Do you?”

“I do,” Baekhyun nodded. “Although it’s going to be hard to not really want to rough you up. When you’re naked especially. You always look so good.”

“I’ll just have to rough you up instead.”

Baekhyun smirked and said, “Now we’re talking.”

Yixing laughed and got up to throw the empty container away, picking up the table and smiling when Baekhyun used one of the napkins to wipe it down though they hadn’t really made a mess.

“So, can you stay the night?” Yixing asked as he turned down the dining room light.

“Yeah, although I have to be up really early for an audition.”

“Oh? Congratulations.”

Baekhyun thanked him, and then complained, “Of course I get an audition while my hair is red. Although it is starting to fade now, but not soon enough.”

“I think the hair will help you get the part,” Yixing said as they walked toward his bedroom together. “I wouldn’t say no to you.”

“That’s ‘cause you like me,” Baekhyun teased him.

“I do,” Yixing said, turning on the light in his room and then pausing by his dresser. “So, I don’t want to freak you out by doing this, but…” he pulled out an envelope and then took out a keycard from it, handing it over to him. “Since we’re going to keep seeing each other, I thought it’d be easier if you just had a keycard of your own.”

“You’re giving me the keycard to your place?” Baekhyun asked, looking at it and then looking back at him.

“I know this is a change, but you don’t have to read anything into it. It just makes it easier, so you can let yourself in if I’m in the shower or something. Or even if you finish your shift and want to come over, but I’m still at work. If you’re not okay with that then you don’t have to take it, but…”

Baekhyun took it out of his hand, and shut him up with a quick kiss.

“If you get a call from your neighbor asking why there’s a naked man tanning on your balcony, just remember it’s your fault,” Baekhyun joked.

“I will rush home and take care of the situation,” Yixing joked back.

“And how are you going to take care of it?” Baekhyun asked biting his lip with a smirk in place.

Yixing pulled him over to his bed to show him, keycard and hypotheticals forgotten as Baekhyun learned a bit more about how to safely touch him and testing the waters of what he could do to him to make him feel good without tempting fate.

He felt genuinely happy as he drifted off to sleep, at least until his mind flipped over to think about Chanyeol and how he probably wouldn’t be feeling this happy if he hadn’t tried to sabotage his relationship with Yixing, or whatever it was he was trying to do when he had done what he had done. He knew they were going to need to talk, and he pushed that thought away for now as he listened to Yixing’s soft breathing beside him and thought about how he now had a key to Yixing’s place.


	44. Cereal

Jongdae had gone straight to Chanyeol’s after his shift was over, only to find that Kyungsoo had already come by and made things a bit more dire. He got Chanyeol to go back to bed, spending the night with him to keep an eye on things, grateful that Baekhyun had texted him earlier to let him know that he was okay and spending the night at Yixing’s. At least that seemed to have worked itself out.

In the morning, he woke up and found Chanyeol still passed out, so he headed to the kitchen to see what he could find for breakfast, discovering that his only real option was cereal. So he made himself a bowl and turned on the TV to sit and watch while he ate and waited for Chanyeol to wake up.

After some time, Chanyeol came out of hiding, assessing the situation as Jongdae turned down the volume.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

Chanyeol looked at him and headed to the kitchen, then came back and sat beside him with his own bowl of cereal.

Jongdae turned the volume back up so they could sit there in silence until Chanyeol was ready to talk, which happened after Chanyeol had finished his cereal and set the bowl on the coffee table.

“I’m so sad.”

“I know,” Jongdae said, turning to face him better, and he passed a comforting hand over Chanyeol’s shoulder and squeezed it. “I’m really sorry. Are you staying home today?”

“No, I have to go in. I don’t want to lose my job or give Irene anymore reason to nag me.”

“She won’t nag you. She was really concerned about you last night.”

“That’s comforting I guess,” Chanyeol said, running his finger in patterns over the fabric of his couch.

“Just a heads up, Baek’s working tonight too.”

Chanyeol sighed and nodded.

“Kyungsoo has the day off,” he also mentioned, and he felt bad when he saw the small look of pain across Chanyeol’s face.

“I can’t believe I screwed that up.”

“Just give him time.”

Chanyeol shook his head, “He was so patient throughout all of this. If he said he’s done, then he’s done. Why did I have to lose him?” Chanyeol looked ready to cry again, and Jongdae reached out to squeeze his hand, hoping that helped somehow.

“Listen, people don’t just stop liking you. You still have a chance here, but you have to make things right. I’m off today, but if you need me to come in and mediate for you and Baekhyun while you guys talk things out, then I will.”

Chanyeol sighed and said, “I think you need a break from all this too. How is Baek doing?”

“I think he’s doing okay,” Jongdae said, and Chanyeol looked at him hopeful. “He stayed the night at Yixing’s, so I’m guessing they talked and worked it out.”

“That guy doesn’t seem very nice.”

“You literally went up to him and told him that the guy he’s dating has mental health issues. Like, you don’t really get to judge him right now?”

“He didn’t seem nice before then.”

Jongdae let out a deep sigh and looked at Chanyeol, not sure exactly what to say to him. He didn’t think what he actually wanted to say would go over well, but he supposed there was nothing to hold back at this point.

“You have to get over Baekhyun.”

Chanyeol looked at him confused.

“I am over him,” he defended.

“If you were, you wouldn’t have done this. And the crazy thing is, I think, with this Yixing thing, he was slowly beginning to get over you.”

“With my Kyungsoo thing, it was obvious that I was over him,” Chanyeol said, looking affronted.

“Your Kyungsoo thing was more like a very delayed rebound,” Jongdae said. “Both you and Baek were never completely over each other. If you were, you wouldn’t have kept hooking up. Baek is actually trying to get over you now. Why are you still holding on?”

“I’m not!” Chanyeol said, appearing stunned by the accusation. “How could you even say that? I’m the one that broke up with him.”

“You didn’t break up with him because you stopped loving him. You broke up with him because you couldn’t handle his issues anymore,” Jongdae pointed out. “And you’ve steadily beat yourself up for that since that day. I’m not saying all this as an accusation. You just need to admit the truth of the situation to yourself before you try and fix things. In a perfect world, where Baek’s issues didn’t exist, who would your heart really belong to? Baekhyun or Kyungsoo?”

Chanyeol looked hurt to be asked such a question, but Jongdae let him know he wasn’t expecting an answer.

“It’s just something for you to think about,” Jongdae explained, “As you figure out what to do next.”

“I’m going back to bed,” Chanyeol said, and Jongdae reached over to give him a hug before he got up.

“I love you, and I’ve got your back, okay? Don’t think I don’t just because I’m trying to help by saying things you don’t want to hear.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol said, but he didn’t seem convinced, and Jongdae didn’t blame him.

He supposed he could have been nicer, but being nice hadn’t gotten them anywhere, and if they weren’t going to figure this out on their own, then the least he could do was throw them both some truths. Which made him wonder if Baekhyun really was doing fine.

He texted him to see if he was up yet, and then got a text back almost an hour later saying he was heading home.

Jongdae left Chanyeol a note and some cash with a note for him to order himself pizza to help him feel better, then headed back home to try and get a read on how his other best friend was dealing with everything.

But what he found at home was someone who seemed to not be dealing with anything at all.

“My audition didn’t go well,” Baekhyun told him as soon as he walked in, and Jongdae found him on the couch with his laptop on his lap as if he had been working on something. “I mean, it went well, but they didn’t seem to be interested. The hair probably threw them off.”

“I forgot you had an audition this morning,” Jongdae admitted, sitting beside him.

“So you’re not going to believe what I found out last night,” Baekhyun said, and then he went on to talk Jongdae’s ear off about Yixing having a blood disorder and how he was now reading up on it and it was so crazy. And then he added that he took his own issues well and was totally on board with them still seeing each other. “And,” Baekhyun said, pulling out a card from his pocket, “He gave me a key to his place.”

“Whoa,” Jongdae said, waving his hands in front of himself to center himself after being bombarded with so much information in a short amount of time. “That’s huge.”

“He said it was more for convenience because you need it to take the elevator, so it keeps him from having to come down and get me all the time.”

“Sure it is,” Jongdae nodded.

“I think it’s really going to work out between us,” Baekhyun said smiling.

And while it was good to see him smiling, Jongdae decided he might as well kill everyone’s spirits that day.

“I think it could, but first you have to deal with your Chanyeol situation.”

Baekhyun sighed and did lose the smile, but unlike Chanyeol’s defensive, Baekhyun nodded in agreement.

“I know. I still don’t know why he did what he did, but I know we’re going to have to talk about it.”

“You’re both working today.”

“Great,” Baekhyun said, but not in the way where he actually meant it.

Jongdae debated telling him what else had happened, thinking that telling him might skew things a bit for him, but he figured he needed to know everything.

“So there’s something else you need to know,” Jongdae went ahead and said, and Baekhyun’s eyebrows raised. “After Kyungsoo found out about what Chanyeol did, he broke up with him.”

Baekhyun’s reaction was less shock and more thoughtful as his eyes looked around for a moment and then back at Jongdae.

“Why?” Baekhyun asked.

Jongdae shrugged and said, “If I have to guess, he probably thinks that Chanyeol isn’t really done with you since he seemingly sabotaged your thing with Yixing. I’m not saying that’s why Chanyeol did it, but I think that’s how Kyungsoo is seeing it.”

“Is Chanyeol okay?” Baekhyun asked, almost timidly.

“He’s sad,” Jongdae answered, not sure how else to put it.

“This is such a mess,” Baekhyun said, but then he nodded and said, “I’ll talk to him at work today. We’ll figure this all out.”

“Let me know if you need my help,” Jongdae said, and then he left Baekhyun to do his research, and headed to take a very much needed nap, feeling emotionally drained from all that had transpired with his two best friends.

He laid down and started thinking that he kind of would like to check in on Kyungsoo, but he wasn’t sure if that was crossing a line or if Kyungsoo would even care to talk with him.

He decided to send a text.

_Hey, I heard what happened. I’m sorry. I hope you’re okay. Let me know if you need anything._

His eyes began to close as he waited for a response, and when he got one, it wasn’t from Kyungsoo.

_How are you holding up with everything?_

The text was from Minseok, and Jongdae replied.

_My best friends are sad, but I’m okay. Just trying to do what I can to help._

_I’m sorry. Do you need me to come over?_

Needed and wanted were two very different things, but considering the mess his friends were in, Jongdae thought that maybe he needed to keep his own mess at bay for the day.

_I’m okay. I’m about to take a nap. Are you working tonight?_

_Yep._

_I don’t, so can you do me a favor and keep an eye on Chan and Baek tonight? Just let me know if you think I should come down to help them out or something._

_I’ll keep an eye on them. Have a good nap._

_Thanks. :*_

Okay, he shouldn’t have sent the kissing emoji. What had he been thinking? It was dorky, but he was exhausted and had an excuse.

_:*_

Jongdae smiled at the reply, a thousand percent he wouldn’t receive it, and yet there it was. He had given him the kissy face emoji back. He knew he shouldn’t be this excited about it, but with Minseok, he took everything he could get.

He received no text back from Kyungsoo as sleep overtook him.


	45. Patty Melt

Kyungsoo had no intentions of leaving his bed that day. He stayed under his covers and scrolled through the photo gallery on his phone, torturing himself as he looked at pictures of Chanyeol as he debated deleting them. He didn’t want to. Even though he was angry at him, he couldn’t press the delete button.

And maybe it wasn’t really anger that he was feeling anyway. It was more a feeling of disappointment. Why hadn’t it been enough for Chanyeol that they were together? Why did he still have to go and meddle in the life of his ex and then attempt to ruin what could have finally helped keep his ex out of the picture for good?

Deep down inside, Kyungsoo knew why. Chanyeol didn’t want Baekhyun out of his life for good. Whether he was still in love with him or just codependent didn’t matter, all that mattered was that there was no room for Kyungsoo in Chanyeol’s life.

So then it all became his fault. Why didn’t he leave well enough alone? They had been having fun together and the wooing had been extra fun. Why did he cave into Chanyeol knowing that things were left unfinished?

Because he had wanted Chanyeol. It was as simple as that.

And that made it too annoying to think about, so he pulled himself out of bed to try and do something productive. He had more people to send his music to, and he had more open mic places to look up. So he sat at his laptop and pulled up his email to see if anyone had responded, and all he noticed was an email from Chanyeol with the subject line “My Lists.”

Kyungsoo wanted to open it, even though he felt he should let his anger dictate him not doing so, but he did it anyway.

“Here’s the list of people I sent your link to:,” the email began.

And after the list, he wrote, “Here’s what I found for open mic nights:”

And then after that list, he wrote, “I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo was sorry too. He closed out of the email and crawled back into bed.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he felt his arm being shaken, and he woke up to a very concerned Jongin looking at him.

“Hey, I had to work the morning shift so I brought you back food.”

“I’m not hungry,” Kyungsoo mumbled into his pillow.

“Okay, but Heechul got kicked off the grill, and Jorge had to take over, and when I tell you this is the best patty melt that man has ever made, I’m not exaggerating. You want to eat this.”

Jorge’s food was the best, and Kyungsoo’s stomach growled. They did say that food fixed everything, so Kyungsoo threw a pillow at Jongin to let him know he didn’t appreciate being conned into getting up by luring him with Jorge’s food.

He sat at their table and let Jongin divvy up the sandwich, his side partially eaten already.

“How was work?” Kyungsoo asked, hoping to keep the topic off the one thing he didn’t want to talk about.

“Not too bad. I made good tips for a morning shift. How are you holding up?”

“Just great,” Kyungsoo deadpanned.

“It sucks,” Jongin nodded. “I think some space and time will fix everything.”

“Nothing needs to be fixed. What needs to be fixed?” Kyungsoo asked looking at him, and then he took a bite of his patty melt. It was incredible.

“After everything, you can’t sit there and tell me you’re just going to give up on Chanyeol like this.”

“I gave him a ton of chances.”

“No, this is his first offense,” Jongin pointed out, and before Kyungsoo could protest, Jongin said, “You guys weren’t together all those other times. This is the first thing he’s done since you guys have been official.”

“You only get one offense,” Kyungsoo then said, deciding it was fine to make up the rules as he went along. He took another bite.

“Why are you like this?” Jongin asked. “If you had ever looked in my direction and given me a chance, I wouldn’t have made it a day with you with your standards.”

“You think emotionally cheating on someone with their ex is a high standard?”

“I think their situation isn’t as black and white as you want to make it.”

“The fact that a ‘their situation’ still exists is enough to know I don’t need to be involved.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Jongin said, eating another bite and staying silent on the matter for a moment as he focused on his food. And then he asked, “So what do you plan on doing the rest of the day?”

“Sleeping,” Kyungsoo answered, eating some fries to slow down his devouring of what was left of the patty melt. He wanted to savor the last couple of bites. “What about you?”

“I originally had plans to hit up a club with Sehun, but I think I’ll just stay in.”

“You should go,” Kyungsoo told him. “If you’re thinking of staying in because of me, you don’t have to. I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, but either way, I could use a night of doing nothing.”

“You just reminded me that Jongdae texted me,” Kyungsoo said looking at his phone. “I didn’t feel like texting back, but it was nice of him. I should have gone for him instead.”

“Then you’d be dealing with his Minseok issue,” Jongin snorted. “He is nice though. And a pretty good lay.”

“I did not need to know that,” Kyungsoo said looking disturbed.

“You were the one inquiring about him,” Jongin said chuckling.

“Hearing about him is fine, but not in the context of you. Why aren’t you a virgin? I’m going to tell your mother.”

“You’re going to have to get over this seeing me as a little brother thing one day,” Jongin said, looking at him with indignation before smiling, than looking conspiratorial, “Actually, don’t tell anyone this, but I found out Sehun is a virgin.”

“That’s not surprising at all,” Kyungsoo said as he thought about it. Sehun did come off a bit naïve and inexperienced at times.

“Really? I was surprised. He’s so good looking. You’d think he’d have ass thrown at him left and right.”

“Yeah, but you’re good looking and still a virgin,” Kyungsoo joked.

“I’m the one that’s going to tell your mom that you’re mean and should be put on time out,” Jongin said, throwing a fry at him.

Kyungsoo almost smiled, but then he paused and realized the subtext of what Jongin had been saying.

“Wait,” Kyungsoo said, putting his hand up to make sure he wasn’t making up what he was thinking. “Do you have a thing for Sehun?”

“What? No. Why would you think that?” Jongin looked alarmed by the accusation, so alarmed that he almost looked guilty of the charges.

“You were going clubbing with him. You think he’s hot. This isn’t the first time you’ve hung out with him. You’re always joking around with him at parties, though now that I think back on it, I can see how it was flirting instead.”

“Please, Sehun can’t even do his job properly. And he has this stupid crush on Junmyeon. Can you believe he said he’d consider quitting after this semester if it meant he could spend the summer as a customer trying to get him to date him? Like how delusional is that?”

“Oh man,” Kyungsoo said, not believing what he was seeing right in front of him. “You’ve got it bad.”

“He’s a virgin,” Jongin reminded him with a wave of his hand. “What would I even do with a virgin?”

“De-virginize him?” Kyungsoo guessed as he popped the last bit of patty melt in his mouth. Maybe he could get Jorge to make him another one tomorrow.

“No, that’s terrible. Sehun can’t just be de-virginized like that. He’d have to be treated right. With gifts of boba tea and brunch dates and other fun things, and then slowly I’d introduce him to the concept, but take it really slow, and only when he’s ready, and shit how did this happen?”

“You’re in so deep.”

“No, I refuse to believe that. He’s a child.”

“Aren’t you guys the same age?”

“I’m older than him by three months.”

“You should probably take a good nap before you go clubbing tonight,” Kyungsoo said, reaching for more fries and trying to not think about Chanyeol bringing him gifts of blended coffees, and treating him to video game dates and other fun things.

“No, I think I’m definitely staying in tonight.”

“Go,” Kyungsoo told him, and he looked right into his best friend’s eyes and said, “This is the best part. You should go have fun with it and experience it to the fullest. And you should get in now before he really does quit to become Junmyeon’s groupie.”

“I can’t like a guy who would consider giving up getting paid to be our lame manager’s groupie,” Jongin said, putting his hands up in exasperation.

“You already do so…” Kyungsoo said with an eyebrow raise and then he stood up and pat Jongin on the shoulder. “I’ll be fine tonight. Please go have fun.”

“Are you sure? You should take a shower. It’ll make you feel better too. I don’t know if I should…”

“I will take a shower. I promise. Just go on your date.”

“It’s not a date.”

Kyungsoo gave him a knowing look then decided going to take a shower wasn’t the worst idea. And it did make him feel a little better, until he was back looking at pictures on his phone and thinking about his perfect dates with Chanyeol. Then he made the mistake of trying to work on sending out his music again and accidentally pressed play, and as the music started, he almost worked himself up entirely just thinking about how he’d never be in the studio with Chanyeol again creating music.

He needed to get out of this headspace. Maybe he could watch TV.

And then his phone screen lit up, and the most unexpected person had sent him a text.

_Just heard about the breakup. Nothing is sacred in this place. Do you want some company to help you get your mind off things after I’m done here?_

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure exactly what Kris meant by getting his mind off things, but he replied “Yes” before he could chicken out of replying, and then he texted him his address.

And then he tried to distract himself from having invited Kris over by watching a movie on Netflix. It was a good thing he had seen it before because he spent the whole time not really watching and instead going through scenarios in his mind of what Chanyeol was doing at work right now, if he had even gone, and if he was handling things okay now that Kyungsoo had cleared the path for him to reunite with who he really wanted. Why had he invited Kris over?

“You sure you’re going to be okay?” Jongin asked as he came out of his room, showered and mid-way between getting dressed. “I really can stay instead.”

“I have Netflix. I’m good,” Kyungsoo assured him, trying to figure out what movie he should pretend to watch next.

“Did you eat dinner?”

“I’m still full off the patty melt.”

“That was forever ago,” Jongin said, grabbing the laptop he had left on the coffee table and sitting beside him as he pulled up a food delivery site. “You want Chinese?”

“Sure, that’s fine,” Kyungsoo shrugged, though he did feel quite hungry even if he wasn’t in the mood to eat.

“I’ll get your usual,” Jongin said, placing the order for them before going back to his room to finish getting dressed.

It was like clockwork, and Kyungsoo was sure the universe was looking out for him then, as the food arrived, just in time for Jongin to take a couple of bites before leaving and then having left long enough so he didn’t cross paths with Kris who arrived with a six-pack of beer in his hand.

“Breakup cure,” Kris explained as Kyungsoo let him in.

“It’ll go great with the Chinese I’m eating,” Kyungsoo nodded, wondering why he had thought to agree to this. He should have been in bed sulking and deleting pictures of Chanyeol off his phone instead.

“Was this in honor of me coming over?” Kris asked, putting his hand over his heart. “I’m flattered.” He laughed and set the beer down on the dining table.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were Chinese,” Kyungsoo said blushing. If he had remembered, he would have vetoed the choice to avoid this very thing from happening. “Do you have family there?”

“Grandparents, and an aunt. Most of the rest of my family moved to Vancouver though. Do you have family in Korea?”

“Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins,” Kyungsoo nodded. “I’ve only ever visited them a couple of times.”

“I like visiting my grandparents,” Kris mused as he popped open a can of beer and handed it to Kyungsoo, which he accepted graciously. “They spoil me a lot and feed me a lot of food.”

“Which I bet doesn’t taste like this,” Kyungsoo said before taking a sip.

“No, it doesn’t,” Kris said with a small laugh. “What have you been doing to get your mind off things so far?”

“Sleeping and watching Netflix,” Kyungsoo admitted.

“Is it working?”

“No,” Kyungsoo also admitted.

He motioned for Kris to join him on the couch and took another sip of his beer and said, “I’m bad at not being in my head,” as Kris took a seat beside him.

“Well I just came from Trivia night so I can entertain you with some fun questions.”

“Which one stumped everyone tonight?”

“Name the song with the line: _She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene._ ”

“Oh my God I know this,” Kyungsoo said, mentally repeating the line over and over.

“That’s what everyone else said.”

“This is going to drive me crazy,” Kyungsoo said, knowing he knew it, as he tried to sing it to a beat, but knowing it wasn’t the right one.

“Everyone said that too,” Kris said with a smile. “I’ll give you two minutes.”

Kyungsoo couldn’t even wait that long before he said, “Just tell me.”

“ _Billie Jean_ by Michael Jackson.”

“Oh my God,” Kyungsoo grabbed a couch pillow to bury his face in it.

“Also everyone’s reaction when I gave the answer,” Kris said with a chuckle as he took a drink from his can.

“I’m revoking my own music pass,” Kyungsoo said, shaking his head at himself.

“It’s easy to trip people up when things are out of context,” Kris mused.

Kyungsoo looked at him knowing that was true, and he said, “Like you being here is out of context.”

“Are you feeling tripped up then?”

“A little,” Kyungsoo admitted. “You are taking my mind off things though. Up until now when I just realized that since you’re here I should play you the songs I uploaded to my SoundCloud, which were all produced by Chanyeol, so now I’m back to square one.”

“Oh no,” Kris said, looking at him sympathetically. “I want to hear it though. If you don’t mind.”

Kyungsoo nodded and went to get his laptop, returning to pull it up and play it for Kris, watching his reaction and getting the distinct impression that Kris was enjoying it thoroughly.

“Your voice,” Kris said, and then nothing else until a verse later when he again said, “Oh my God, your voice.”

When it was done, Kyungsoo felt a bit down again, thinking about how much he was going to miss creating things like this with Chanyeol.

“Who wrote those songs?” Kris asked. “And where did you learn to sing like that?”

“Chanyeol wrote them and produced them,” he said with a sigh. “And I don’t know. It’s just how my voice is. I guess I could thank my vocal teachers over the years?”

“That first song is incredible,” Kris remarked, and Kyungsoo had a feeling that would be the consensus among anyone that would hear it.

“Chanyeol wrote that song about his relationship with Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo enlightened him, and then he chugged the rest of his beer.

“Switching topics then,” Kris said, moving the laptop off Kyungsoo’s lap and onto the coffee table. “You’re an incredible singer. I know some producers that would kill to have a voice like yours on their tracks. Let me see if I can hook something up, okay?”

“Sure, why not,” Kyungsoo said, wanting to toss the empty can somewhere, but choosing to set it on the table instead.

“I don’t understand how you’re not signed, with an album out, and on a world tour.”

“I allowed myself to get distracted by a stupid tall bartender with stupid big ears.”

“I don’t seem to be doing well at switching topics.”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo said frowning a bit. “I don’t know why I invited you over. I’m a mess right now.”

“You’re allowed to be a mess right now. And Chanyeol is dumb as shit for losing you.”

“He is dumb as shit,” Kyungsoo agreed, and he grabbed Kris’ beer out of his hand because he was taking too long to drink it, so he helped him out. “I’m dumb as shit. I shouldn’t have agreed to be his boyfriend. I’m so stupid.”

“No, I think he’s the stupid one here,” Kris said, watching him, “I don’t know how anyone would even have time to think about anyone else when you’re impossible to stop thinking about.”

Oh that was so smooth, Kyungsoo thought, and he finished chugging the rest of Kris’s beer, and this time did toss the can, before practically lunging himself toward Kris, attacking his lips with his own and ending up on his lap somehow, all in the same process.

He half expected Kris to shove him away, but when that didn’t happen, he deepened the kiss and let something carnal take over, something that involved needing to feel someone else’s hands on him to remind him that he was very much wanted without having to compete for the attention.

The making out intensified, and after shirts had come off, Kyungsoo got off Kris’ lap and led him to his room, not caring about the little voices inside his head that kept trying to remind him of how much he enjoyed this with Chanyeol more.

But Kris was a very good kisser, and Kris knew what he wanted, and he didn’t hold back on teasing, and touching, and grabbing, which Kyungsoo for some reason needed right then. They ended up making out until they had gotten each other completely off, and as Kyungsoo fell asleep in a different giant’s arms that night, he tried very hard to not think about how Kris’ arm felt different from Chanyeol’s, and how Kris’ scent was different than Chanyeol’s, and how Kris’s breathing patterns were different from Chanyeol’s, and finally gave up and fell asleep when he realized he couldn’t stop thinking about Chanyeol.


	46. Chimichangas

Chanyeol tried to stay undercover as much as possible as he clocked in and took off his snapback, heading straight to the bar to get started and hope that no one brought anything up to him. If he could just make it through his shift, then he could go back to hiding in his studio and trying to write more songs about how he had an amazing knack for royally fucking up anything good in his life.

“Hey, babe, how are you holding up?” Irene asked him, giving him a hug as soon as he got behind the bar.

“I’m here,” he shrugged. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I’ll buy you some coffee later to make up for it.”

“Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. Just let me know if you need to take an emotional break and I’ll cover.”

“Thanks,” he told her with an appreciative nod, and he busied himself with customers and orders until that inevitable moment that he had to fill drink orders for one of Baekhyun’s tables.

He knew he had to say something. Everything that had happened was his stupid fault, so he needed to start fixing what he could, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to fix the part that he really wanted to fix.

He put the final beer on Baekhyun’s tray, but kept his hand on it and looked at him.

“I’m so sorry for what I did yesterday.”

Baekhyun looked at him with thought then nodded.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Apology accepted.”

Chanyeol hadn’t been expecting a reply, much less such a calm and accepting one. He cleared his throat and took his hand off the glass.

“We should talk during lunch,” Chanyeol said.

“Give me a heads up when you’re ready to clock out,” Baekhyun said, and he took his tray and left.

Chanyeol then spent the rest of his time leading up to lunch trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say to Baekhyun. He wished he could have gotten away with just the apology, but as much as he didn’t want to admit it, Jongdae was right, there was something there that made Chanyeol hold on, even though he didn’t want to hold on anymore.

When it was time for his break, he clocked out and tried to think of a good place for them to go talk. The problem was he had Kyungsoo-fied a lot of the places around the restaurant, and talking to Baekhyun in those places didn’t seem right. But then again, before Kyungsoo had come along, and before Chanyeol had broken up with Baekhyun, there were places around that had been theirs.

“Where do you want to go talk?” Baekhyun asked after he had clocked out and joined him.

“Remember when we used to take lunch together back in the day, and we’d head next door for real chimichangas? Wanna do that?”

“Sure,” Baekhyun nodded, his face softening a bit at the memory.

They walked across the alley to their Mexican restaurant neighbors, and Chanyeol realized that he hadn’t been in there for a long time. They were seated at a high-top table and they both ordered waters and chimichangas right away, explaining they were on a bit of a time crunch.

“Do you remember when we first came here?” Chanyeol said, looking around to see the place hadn’t changed much. “You hadn’t started working at Barry’s yet, so you came to visit me for lunch during my break, and we snuck off to here to check out the competition.”

“And we realized within one bite that there was no competition,” Baekhyun nodded.

“I remember going back to work afterwards and telling Junmyeon that we needed to scrap all the Mexican food items on the menu so we could stop embarrassing ourselves.”

“I’m glad he didn’t. Tacos is the only thing my regular ever orders.”

Chanyeol paused at that comment as Baekhyun distracted himself with the chips and salsa that had been placed on their table.

“I’m really sorry about what I did,” Chanyeol told him. “It was completely out of line.”

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun said looking at him again. “Yixing and I talked about it, and he’s okay with it. It brought up things about him too that I needed to know, so it ended up being a good thing.”

“Oh, that’s good,” Chanyeol said, not sure if he was allowed to feel relieved about that. “I really was just trying to help.”

Baekhyun gave him a dubious look, and Chanyeol looked at the chips, grabbing one to stuff in his mouth.

“I don’t think I completely understand,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol looked back at him. “I was trying to move on. You getting with Kyungsoo was really hard for me to accept. So I decided to try and get lost in Yixing, and it was working. But then you did what you did and now I don’t understand anything.”

Chanyeol didn’t either, until he thought about what Jongdae had said to him, and he had spent the night struggling with not wanting to really think about it and convincing himself that he knew the truth. But the truth he knew, and the truth that he didn’t want to acknowledge, were two different things. And he knew now was the time to tackle that truth head on.

He wasn’t sure how to start, so he stole Jongdae’s words.

“I didn’t break up with you because I stopped loving you. I broke up with you because I didn’t know how to handle your issues.”

“I didn’t know how to handle my issues either, but I couldn’t break up with myself,” Baekhyun said, trying to be a bit light, though Chanyeol knew him well enough to sense the bitter undertone.

Chanyeol felt that pang of guilt again.

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol said, “I’m not a strong person at all. I wasn’t strong enough to stay with you, and I wasn’t strong enough to really let you go.”

“But you did let me go.”

“But I didn’t,” Chanyeol said, and he felt his heart start to wrench again. “Because I felt guilty. And those first several months that we didn’t talk to each other were really hard for me. By the time we were at that party, and you came up to me, I felt so guilty that I would have given you anything you wanted. I mean, I did.”

Chanyeol remembered it too well, how much they had all been drinking, how much fun everyone had been having doing a dumb dance battle that Kibum of all people had started, and the weed that Tao had brought hadn’t helped Chanyeol’s clarity of mind by the time Baekhyun was on his lap and they were making out on the couch oblivious to the party still happening around them.

“I didn’t need your pity,” Baekhyun said, looking a bit hurt by this confession.

“It wasn’t just the guilt,” Chanyeol then had to admit. “I missed you. We were having so much fun that night, and it reminded me of when we had first gotten together, and it felt like that all over again. I think I kept searching for that, but it was hit or miss after that, and then I knew I had to stop. But I couldn’t.”

“Why couldn’t you?” Baekhyun asked, staring at him, his face still showing hurt, but also uncertainty.

Chanyeol felt the same, with a ton of fear mixed in.

“Because I don’t think I ever stopped loving you,” Chanyeol finally admitted.

Baekhyun looked surprised, and Chanyeol felt like throwing up. Naturally, their chimichangas came out then, but neither of them made any motions to eat.

“Do you still love me?” Baekhyun then asked, his voice a bit small, which Chanyeol knew meant that Baekhyun was not processing this news well.

“You were my first real boyfriend,” Chanyeol said, taking a deep breath to help him get through this. “And my longest relationship. And we didn’t really end things when we broke up. We never had any closure. Yes, I still love you, but…” Chanyeol struggled to explain his true feelings, and he realized that he had expressed them in music without even realizing, which made him think back to that night that he had first played Kyungsoo the song he had written from Baekhyun’s point of view.

“But?” Baekhyun asked, looking even more unsure now.

“…I love you in a way that I think I will always love you. In that I hope we can remain friends after everything because I’ll always care about you and want you to be happy. But… back when we first started out, and during those early times together, I felt like me when I was around you. After a while, I stopped feeling like me, and more like who I needed to be for you instead. And I’m not saying that’s your fault. It’s not your fault that I didn’t know how to cope with what was happening. But I changed a lot during the course of our relationship, and I really don’t even know who I am anymore.”

He had said too much probably, but at least he had gotten that out.

Baekhyun considered these words for a moment, then spoke.

“You were also my first real boyfriend and my longest relationship,” he said, taking a sip of his water before continuing. “And I still love you because I don’t know how to not love you. So even though you started resenting me and hating me along the way, I still loved you because I figured it was all my fault anyway and I deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve it,” Chanyeol said shaking his head emphatically. “I’m so sorry. I should have never made you feel that way.”

“I just wanted you to give us another chance,” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol could start to feel his emotions unravel completely. But he had to get through this conversation intact, and he took another deep breath. “I thought I could show you that I could handle things better and that we could have fun again.”

“Maybe I should have,” Chanyeol said, more to himself. “Maybe that would have been the way to know for sure if we could do this or not.” But Chanyeol knew it wouldn’t have worked, and he shook his head. “But don’t you think we deserve better? Don’t you think we deserve to find other people that know how to handle each of us better than we did?”

Baekhyun bit his lip then pursed it up into a pout, and Chanyeol knew he was trying to hold his emotions back too.

“It’s easier for you to think that,” Baekhyun said, “You found someone. Everything was fine and then Kyungsoo shows up out of nowhere and then everything got better for you but worse for me.”

“Everything wasn’t fine before he showed up,” Chanyeol defended.

“We had a thing going,” Baekhyun threw back. “We were making something work, even if we weren’t putting a label on it or talking about it. He came along and you had an out, so I had to try harder to get you back.”

“But things weren’t fine. We were always drunk. We were always trying to cope with the feelings we never dealt with. And you weren’t taking care of yourself at all, hanging out with Kibum and Tao and not taking your meds. It’s why I had to keep showing up to the parties in the first place. I hated going to those parties, but I went to make sure you left them alive.”

Baekhyun ran his hand over his face to try and steady himself, and then he said, “So things weren’t fine,” he swallowed before continuing, “Okay. Well now we know. But you still love me and I still love you, so where does that leave us now?”

Where did that leave them now? Chanyeol had no idea. He knew they couldn’t get back together, but neither of them had a switch they could use to turn their feelings off. Or did they? Chanyeol didn’t want to hurt Baekhyun again, but he knew this had to end for real this time.

“It leaves us with you seeing your regular and me… working on my music and figuring out my life,” Chanyeol answered, and he could tell from Baekhyun’s expression that he didn’t like that answer.

“I know Kyungsoo broke up with you,” Baekhyun told him, playing his own card.

“He did,” Chanyeol admitted. “And I’m very sad about that. But it’s my own fault.”

“He wasn’t the right person for you,” Baekhyun tried. “I wouldn’t have broken up with you over that. I would’ve been upset, but I would’ve talked to you and tried to understand.”

Chanyeol didn’t think that was true, but he let it go. There was no point arguing hypotheticals with him.

“We can’t get back together,” Chanyeol said shaking his head. “It’s not good for us. We’re not good for each other.”

“We used to be.”

“When we were in college and naïve, but now we’ve gone far past beyond that, and there’s been too much baggage accumulated. Don’t you like your regular? You worked things out with him so you must really like him.”

“I do,” Baekhyun said, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Do you feel like you when you’re with him?” Chanyeol then asked.

“No,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head, “I don’t know what I feel like when I’m with him.”

“Well, when I’m with Kyungsoo, I feel like me,” Chanyeol stated, and his heart broke all over again as he saw the look of pain on Baekhyun’s face from hearing those words. He had to look down.

A long moment of silence seemed to pass, and Chanyeol had no choice but to look back up, only to see Baekhyun looking outside the window as he tried to calm his own breathing, and then he looked back at Chanyeol and caught his eyes.

“You should…” Baekhyun began, and he took another small breath, “You should probably try and get Kyungsoo back then.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen,” Chanyeol admitted, “But I’m going to focus on figuring things out for myself. I think maybe I should start seeing someone too. I have a lot of things in my head I really need to work out.”

Baekhyun seemed sobered to hear this and nodded slowly.

“It helps,” he said. “I know I’m not the best example of that, but it does help.”

“Maybe at the end of it all, we can still be friends,” Chanyeol said, though he wasn’t sure how real of a possibility that would be.

“Maybe,” Baekhyun said, so softly Chanyeol barely heard him.

“I’m sorry. I do care about you. I just have to move on.”

“I understand,” Baekhyun said, taking another sip of his water.

“You need to move on too,” Chanyeol reminded him, still fearful that the point wasn’t getting across. When would he be able to truly trust Baekhyun again? Or at least not second-guess his motives.

“Yeah, I’ll work on that,” Baekhyun said, though in a way that sounded like he was just saying it to appease him.

“You asked me in the hospital if you ever made me happy. I meant what I said to you. You made me happy a lot, and I will never forget those times.”

“I won’t either,” he said, sounding less and less as if he was still mentally part of the conversation.

Chanyeol knew what was happening in Baekhyun’s mind, but he couldn’t interfere. This wasn’t his problem to deal with anymore. He had officially cut the ties. So he turned his attention instead to flagging down their server and asking for two boxes and their check.

“I got it,” Chanyeol said, giving her the cash to cover the bill before Baekhyun could even reach into his pocket.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Just let me. As an apology.”

Baekhyun shrugged and looked out the window until the bill was settled and they had their to-go boxes in hand.

They walked in silence back over to Barry’s, and as they both clocked in and put their food away, Chanyeol wondered how their working relationship would be now. Would Baekhyun keep ignoring him, or could they slowly find a middle ground that was civil and professional enough to coexist as co-workers. He hoped for the latter. And deep down inside, he hoped they could both figure out how to be mentally healthy enough about each other to be friends again.


	47. The Usual

Jongdae had a lot on his mind these days, and he started to think that maybe he should go on a vacation. Or more like a staycation since he couldn’t afford a real vacation. And then as he put in food orders and gave drinks to his customers at the bar, he started daydreaming about a nice weekend getaway with Minseok. They already were staying nights at hotels, so was it really that different to stay at one by the beach and spend a nice relaxing day by the pool?

As he was best considering how he could present this idea to Minseok without making it seem like it was a date or crossing the line, he got a bar customer that normally sat at in another very specific spot instead.

“Hey, Yixing,” Jongdae said with a smile, knowing very well why he was sitting at his bar instead of his usual spot.

“Hey,” the slightly awkward man said back, forcing a smile back.

“Yeah, he’s not here today either,” Jongdae confirmed for him.

“I think this might be my fault,” Yixing then said, and Jongdae poured him his usual drink from the tap and set it in front of him.

“It’s not your fault,” Jongdae assured him.

“I gave him the key to my place, and now he’s completely disappeared on me. He won’t even return my text messages and calls,” Yixing explained, and he took a sip of his beer.

“That might have freaked him out a bit,” Jongdae did let him know, “But that was just one tiny thing that happened this week to lead to this. He and his ex had a conversation that didn’t go the way he wanted, so he’s coping now. Or trying to.”

“Oh,” Yixing said looking concerned. “Is he depressed?”

“Yeah, at the moment,” Jongdae said, “I had to call his parents because he wouldn’t get out of bed again, so he’s now at their place, being taken care of and hopefully getting back on his feet soon. He’ll call you or text you when he’s ready.”

Yixing looked toward the other side of the bar toward Chanyeol, who was another story altogether. The last time that Jongdae had seen Chanyeol this down and out of it had been the first time Chanyeol had broken up with Baekhyun. He hoped this was the last time either of his friends had to go through this, for all three of their sakes.

“Were things not really finished between them?” Yixing asked, turning his attention back to Jongdae.

“Yeah, they never had real closure the first time,” Jongdae told him. “But this time it’s really over. I’m not sure what that’s going to mean for either of them, but I’m keeping my eye on it,” he assured him. “Do you want me to put your tacos in?”

“If you don’t mind,” Yixing said, “Actually, do you mind if I sit here and bother you a bit? I would really like to talk to you about Baekhyun.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Jongdae told him with a smile, and he put the order in and refilled some glasses for some of his other customers, then went back to Yixing, who kept glancing toward Chanyeol between sips of his beer.

“Baekhyun had told me before that you’re the one that looks out for him,” Yixing began, “But I thought I could help, since I had been spending more time with him. I guess I wanted to know what it is that you do, so I can do it too.”

Jongdae gave him the warmest smile, thankful that Baekhyun had gotten lucky enough to find himself someone that was more than willing to put up with him.

“Paying attention is the most important part,” Jongdae began to explain to him, and he found it rather therapeutic for himself to explain how best to deal with the nuances of Baekhyun.

His advice to Yixing was punctuated by having to run around to his other customers, but by the time Yixing was done with his tacos, he could tell that Yixing felt better prepared, and Jongdae felt relieved and a bit lighter.

That was until Chanyeol made his way over to them.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said to Yixing, and Jongdae wasn’t sure if he should tell him to walk away or physically take his hand and lead him away.

“Hey,” Yixing said back, not looking to care for his presence.

“I want to apologize to you for what I did the other day,” Chanyeol said. “I was out of line, and I am sorry.”

Yixing seemed to consider Chanyeol, then nodded and said, “Apology accepted.”

And there was an awkward moment before Jongdae nudged Chanyeol and gave him a look that clearly stated for him to walk away and leave well enough alone. Thankfully Chanyeol read him well and went back to his customers.

“Chanyeol’s great,” Jongdae explained to Yixing once he was gone. “He’s the type of person that wears his heart on his sleeve, so that gets him in trouble sometimes. He has the distinct problem of caring too much. He literally saved Baekhyun’s life not too long ago.”

“The O.D.,” Yixing nodded in recollection.

“Oh he told you about that,” Jongdae said, a little surprised, especially considering Baekhyun didn’t even like to acknowledge that as the reason he ended up in the hospital.

“He did,” Yixing confirmed.

“Well, Chanyeol was the one that got him to come around enough to hold on until we could get him to the hospital. Also, you should know that Chanyeol is also one of my best friends, so it won’t do you any good to speak badly about him to me.”

“That must be hard for you, being the best friend in their relationship.”

“It has its challenges,” Jongdae confirmed. “But I love them both, and I know that they’re both amazing people deep down inside. There was a time that they were great together, but that time’s been long gone, and it’s time for them to both move on from each other. You’ve been helping Baekhyun with that, and it’s been fun to watch him be excited about seeing you and be happy about something again. I really hope it can keep going after all this.”

“I would also like to keep it going,” Yixing agreed. “But I think it’s a matter of whether he would like to at this point.”

“I think he will,” Jongdae said, but really it was pure hope. “Just give him time to get over this bump. Baek’s issues can be intense, but he’s pretty resilient. You have to trust him a little and believe in him to work through it himself. That’s something Chanyeol never really understood.”

Yixing seemed to process this as he did everything else, as if he had a mental notebook he was jotting everything into, and soon after, he thanked Jongdae again and exchanged numbers with him, then paid his bill, leaving a much too nice tip, and disappearing before Jongdae could call him out for it.

At the end of his shift, Jongdae was feeling optimistic enough to take a chance at being shut down by Minseok. So when Minseok approached the bar as he was finishing cleaning up, he gave him a smile and let his words come out before he could second-guess them.

“You know how sometimes we meet up at a hotel?” Jongdae began, and didn’t wait for an answer before continuing, “I was thinking, maybe we could meet up at a hotel by the beach sometime. Like something different, and then we can relax and hang out by the pool all day. It could be like a…” he stopped himself from saying “getaway” or “vacation” because that would be crossing a line. “…way to get our mind off things.”

Jongdae may have been looking at him with too hopeful of an expression, so he tried to regulate it a little and cleared his throat.

Minseok looked as if a ton of things were running through his mind, and Jongdae was pretty sure he just ruined everything between them. He had no place to ask him something like this, knowing that the situation was delicate for him.

And when Minseok still hadn’t answered, Jongdae decided to take it back.

“Sorry, it was just a thought,” he said. “Forget I asked.”

“No,” Minseok said shaking his head. “I just need to think about it. Let me think about it.”

“Don’t think about it,” Jongdae said, “It’s crossing a line. I’m sorry I suggested it.”

It was easy for Jongdae to forget his place. Minseok did such a good job of making Jongdae feel special that he often forgot that he was just Minseok’s booty call. Lately he had been forgetting that more and more, and Minseok was too nice to remind him, so he supposed he needed to create moments like this to remind himself.

“Are you almost done here?” Minseok asked instead, looking around the bar.

“Yeah, I just need to take this bin to the kitchen,” Jongdae said, nodding toward his bin full of dirty glasses and utensils.

“I’ll take it for you,” Minseok said. “I’m heading to the kitchen now anyway.”

Jongdae handed it to him and then finished up at the bar just as Chanyeol had finished his own duties. They clocked out together and Jongdae tried to get a good look at Chanyeol as they went outside.

“What are you doing tonight?” Jongdae asked him.

“Going to sleep,” Chanyeol said.

“I should do the same,” Jongdae said, and he looked over to see the cooks leaving, including Kyungsoo who didn’t even glance in their direction as he headed toward his car. Jongdae sighed and looked back at Chanyeol, who had glanced over and was now looking down at his feet. “Why don’t you come over instead? This being alone thing isn’t good for you. And Baek’s staying at his parents for now so you don’t have to worry about that.”

Chanyeol shook his head, but then he thought better of it and said, “What if you come over instead? So we don’t run the risk of him coming home out of nowhere.”

“I could do that,” Jongdae nodded. “It’s been awhile since I’ve done a good sleepover. Hey, you know what we should really do? Book a hotel by a beach and just get away from everything.”

“That sounds amazing,” Chanyeol said. “I could use that.”

“Me too. When I come over tonight we can look at cheap places and figure out dates that work for our schedules.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

It was a good plan, and Jongdae’s light mood returned to him, feeling optimistic about things once again as he got in his car and headed to Chanyeol’s place.


	48. Fried Calamari

Kyungsoo’s conversation with Jongin the morning after Kris had stayed the night had been pretty direct.

“Was that the trivia guy?” Jongin had asked, waiting for the perfect moment to jump on him right after Kyungsoo had said goodbye to Kris and shut the door.

“That was the trivia guy.”

“You hooked up with the trivia guy?”

“I hooked up with the trivia guy.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Why did I do that?”

And Kyungsoo had stared at Jongin with a freaked out enough expression that Jongin stopped the questioning and pulled him into a hug instead.

But Kyungsoo needed an answer. Why did he do that? Oh my God, what had he been thinking? He had literally just broken up with Chanyeol and less than 24 hours later he was hooking up with Kris and now his head was spinning. He was not the type of person to do that. Why did he do that?

He’d get no answers unfortunately, and instead he had to focus on going to work, and seeing Chanyeol, and not being prepared for it.

He knew it would be difficult, but he didn’t think it would be this difficult. His mood fluctuated between wanting to throw a burger at him every time he heard Chanyeol’s voice in the kitchen and wanting to feed Chanyeol a burger and suggest starting over.

And as each day passed, he was sure his mood would settle, but as each day did, his mood kept betraying him, stuck on this perpetual rollercoaster that wouldn’t stop.

He plated a couple of burgers while Jongin stood off to the side, trying to eat some fried calamari before having to run plates to his table.

“Why are you still here?” Kyungsoo asked him, looking at the time on the wall and realizing his shift should have ended an hour ago.

“Covering for Baekhyun,” Jongin said, and Kyungsoo nodded in understanding.

On top of everything else, the Barry’s rumor mill was ripe with something that appeared to have gone down between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, and now Baekhyun had disappeared, much as he had done years before Kyungsoo ever knew of the restaurant’s existence.

“I’ll make you a burger later then,” Kyungsoo told him as he realized he forgot the stupid onions for the stupid burger. “How much longer do you think he’ll be gone?”

“Jongdae said he’ll hopefully be back soon,” Jongin shrugged.

Kyungsoo hoped for Jongin’s sake that he did come back soon.

He grilled up some onions real quick and returned to his burgers, finishing them up and putting them in the window.

By the time his break came around, Kyungsoo needed fresh air and to be far away from Barry’s. The problem was that every place he thought of to go and relax was associated with Chanyeol in some way. He couldn’t even go to the park and sit since that’s where their doomed relationship had begun.

He ended up at the coffee shop down the block and ordered an espresso, sitting down at a small table toward the back and putting his earbuds in, hoping some music helped him drown out the stupid world he lived in.

But the moment he saw Jongdae walk in, he knew his attempt at relaxation was about to end.

“Hey,” Jongdae said with a smile as he walked over after having placed his order. “Mind if I join you?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, and though he didn’t want to, he took his earbuds out to be polite, thinking that most people would have read their usage as a sign that the person didn’t want to be bothered.

Jongdae sat facing him and took his phone out, checking something on it before giving him a warm smile.

“How are you holding up?” Jongdae asked.

“I don’t know how to answer that question,” Kyungsoo said, not caring if it sounded rude.

“Fair,” Jongdae nodded. “I know we don’t know each other as well, but if you need anything, just let me know.”

Kyungsoo looked at him, and then Jongdae sighed, and then looked a little grateful when he had to get up to get his drink when it was ready. When he returned he sat down and focused on his phone again, taking sips of his iced coffee in intervals as he appeared to be texting with someone.

“I figured you came to talk to me to try and plead Chanyeol’s case and convince me to take him back,” Kyungsoo then said when he realized Jongdae really wasn’t going to talk to him anymore.

Jongdae shook his head and looked back up at him, then simply answered, “It’s not my place.”

He raised an eyebrow, not having expected that answer at all from the guy that told him to give Chanyeol a chance in the first place.

“Jongin keeps picking up Baekhyun’s shifts,” Kyungsoo then said. “Is he coming back soon?”

“I hope so,” Jongdae said, reading a text and replying before looking back up at him again, “He’s at his parents, and I haven’t really gotten an update. He hasn’t texted me yet. Last time he didn’t text at all. He just showed back up to our place, so I’m anticipating that again.”

“What exactly is wrong with him?” And then Kyungsoo felt the need to add, “This time.”

Jongdae seemed to consider his words before answering.

“After what happened, Chanyeol and Baekhyun decided to finally sit down and talk things out. Chanyeol ended up making it clear that things really were over for them, so I guess you can say that Chanyeol broke up with Baekhyun again, this time for good, and they’re both having to deal with that decision. I just want them to be happy again honestly,” Jongdae said, looking genuinely worried about the situation.

Kyungsoo’s heart raced a little. He had expected Chanyeol to work things out with Baekhyun, not end things with him for good. He knew Chanyeol could not be handling this well, and he knew that he probably felt really guilty right now, so now Kyungsoo felt guilty, and very very very confused.

He looked at Jongdae, probably conveying this, but then Kyungsoo had to remind himself that these were Jongdae’s best friends, and the poor guy didn’t really seem to have anyone to talk to about it. Unless he talked to Minseok about it, who it seemed was the person Jongdae kept texting judging by the upside down letters that Kyungsoo could see.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo said, his nerves a bit uneasy, and he took a sip of his coffee.

“They’re both pretty strong,” Jongdae said with a small smile. “They’ll figure it out.”

Kyungsoo wondered how Jongdae was able to be positive about this, or anything really. And then he thought about how he had even taken the time to check up on him when he didn’t have to.

“I got your text. I’m sorry I didn’t reply. I just…”

“No worries,” Jongdae waved off. “I just felt bad and wanted to make sure you were okay. I checked in with Jongin and told him to let me know if you needed anything too.”

“Why are you like this?”

“What?” Jongdae said, looking up from his phone again.

“Have you always been the type to look out for people, or is this something you had to learn dealing with Chanyeol and Baekhyun?”

Jongdae laughed a little at the question.

“I’ve always been like this. I get it from my parents. My parents are both nurses, and they’re both always looking out for everyone. Well, when they’re not busy being disappointed parents that make me look out for myself because they refuse to support my singing dreams.”

That reminded Kyungsoo of one of his last conversations with Chanyeol about wanting to sing with Jongdae, and his heart hurt again. He really wondered when that would stop happening.

“I can’t believe you were born with your voice and have parents that don’t get how special it is.”

“Oh, they get it,” Jongdae explained. “My dad’s just very against me being in the entertainment industry. He thinks it’ll corrupt me and change who I am, and he said that my personality is better suited for medicine and caring for others than being in an industry where, and I quote, people will take advantage of my good nature and exploit my talents.”

Kyungsoo could so see that, but Kyungsoo also saw how strong of a person Jongdae was as well.

“You’ll just have to prove him wrong then,” Kyungsoo told him.

“I intend to,” Jongdae said with a smile.

“I should have gone for you instead,” Kyungsoo joked, but part of him wished he had. He was sure he and Jongdae could have had a fun and musical journey being together.

Jongdae laughed and drank more of his iced coffee.

“I think I would have been too boring for you.”

“You’re not boring at all,” Kyungsoo told him, surprised to hear him think so.

“You don’t know me that well,” Jongdae said chuckling. “Compared to my friends, I’m the boring one.”

“Compared to your friends, Beyoncé would be boring.”

“That might be true,” Jongdae said, and he checked his phone and sighed. “Why do breaks go by so fast? I should probably start walking back in like ten minutes.”

“Me too,” Kyungsoo said, checking his own phone for the time and seeing a missed text message from Kris. He tried to make the screen go black before Jongdae could glance at it, but he wasn’t quick enough.

“I kinda heard about you and Kris,” Jongdae said, nodding toward the phone. “It’s Sehun’s fault. I guess Jongin had told him and then Sehun felt the need to point out to Jongin during one shift that Kris was collecting Chanyeol’s exes. He meant it as a joke, but Sehun was too dumb to realize how close he was to me when he said it.”

Kyungsoo was going to kill Jongin for telling Sehun, and he let out a small scoff in resignation.

“So basically all of Barry’s knows.” Kyungsoo realized this out loud. He felt like he was going to die.

“At Barry’s there are no secrets. Why do you think I’m constantly freaked out about losing my job?”

“Have you ever thought about quitting?” Because Kyungsoo was certainly now considering it, and maybe both he and Jongdae should get out of there while they were still somewhat mentally intact.

“All the time,” Jongdae acknowledged, “But I make really good money at the bar. And I’ve asked around other places around here and their bartenders do well, but not as well as us. Yay sports.”

“I’m surprised Raiders fans know how to tip.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes, and Kyungsoo chuckled, knowing from all the front of the house complaints whenever Raiders games were shown.

“They’re the worst,” Jongdae said. “I told Minseok to stop showing the games again. There used to be a ban on Raiders games to keep the Raiders fans out. They’re not even in LA anymore, like why are their fans still here? They’re as annoying as the Mid-Wilshire Posse that always wins trivia night. Why do we get so many annoying people in our store?”

“Sports,” Kyungsoo stated, finishing his coffee and pocketing his earbuds again as he got up.

Jongdae followed suit and soon the two of them were heading back to work, Jongdae never once bringing up Chanyeol or trying to get him to take Chanyeol back or talk to him.

It was a steady night, but not overwhelming, and Kyungsoo did throw a burger on the grill for Jongin, then presented it to him when it was time for him to take a quick break.

“I’m going to kill you,” Kyungsoo let him know as he handed it over.

“What? Why?” Jongin asked surprised, not even bothering to leave before opening the take-out container and taking a big bite of the still hot burger.

“Why did you tell Sehun about Kris?”

“Because I was freaking out and had to tell someone,” Jongin explained. “I’m sorry. Shit. He didn’t tell… shit, why do you know that?”

“It’s all over the restaurant,” Kyungsoo said, a bit defeated.

“I’m going to kill Sehun,” Jongin said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Whatever,” Kyungsoo shrugged off and went back to focus on getting through the rest of the night, not caring if people were judging him for hooking up with the trivia guy.

What did it matter anyway? Kris was nice. He should have just gone for Kris in the first place. Oh my God, why did he hook up with him like that? He didn’t want Kris. Now Kris probably thought he had a real chance with him, which is probably why he kept texting him. Kyungsoo should text him back and let him know it was a mistake. He was drunk, kind of. He was emotional. He was distressed. He could come up with a million reasons for why he did it.

He turned to plate some sandwiches when he spotted Chanyeol at the window, looking over the orders and not seeing what he was looking for. As suspected, Chanyeol did look subdued, even as he spoke with Junmyeon who had come in to pick up some orders for Jongin’s table now that he was on break.

And then Chanyeol looked back at the window, and caught Kyungsoo staring at him, and Kyungsoo quickly looked down and finished what he was doing, then put the plates on the window, and went back to the grill, wanting to die of embarrassment that Chanyeol had caught him staring at him. But even worse, seeing Chanyeol look so sad, but also a bit pissed for some reason, wasn’t helping Kyungsoo get over him, and knowing that Chanyeol hadn’t picked Baekhyun after all wasn’t helping, and his own guilt at using Kris to try and get over him, because that had to ultimately be the truth of why he did it, wasn’t helping. But wait, why did he look pissed too? Oh shit, had he heard about Kris too? Of course he had. Everyone had. He hated working there so much all of a sudden.

Instead of trying to move on from Chanyeol, he was now considering that maybe Jongin had been right all along. Why was he so quick to cut things off with people when things didn’t go his way? He hadn’t even tried to compromise with his ex when he had wanted Kyungsoo to stay with him after college. He hadn’t even considered trying a long-distance relationship or meeting him half-way. It’s not like he couldn’t have chased his singing dreams in the Big Apple.

In the same way, he had reacted just as black and white to Chanyeol’s interference in Baekhyun’s new relationship. Instead of realizing, as Jongin had said, that nothing about their relationship was simple, he had just ended it. He didn’t even give Chanyeol a chance to really explain, and he hadn’t even given Chanyeol the consideration that maybe having a supportive boyfriend would help him handle what he had done to Baekhyun better.

Kyungsoo realized then that he was a terrible boyfriend. It was because he valued his independence over everything else, and the idea of compromising freaked him out. He never should have been in a relationship with Chanyeol in the first place. But he wanted to be in a relationship with Chanyeol. This was so frustrating, and as he clocked out that night and walked to the parking lot, he realized that he wanted to give Chanyeol another chance, but he also realized that he had a lot to figure out about himself before he could ever do that, and that’s even if Chanyeol would want him back after what had happened.

He didn’t respond to Kris’ newest round of texts before going to bed that night.


	49. Red Bull

Every day that Baekhyun missed work, Chanyeol felt the guilt inside of him grow larger. Every day that Kyungsoo looked like he wanted to throw something at him, he felt the loneliness inside him spread throughout his body. And when Jongdae had told him about Kyungsoo and Kris, he added disillusionment to the mix.

But it was all his fault, and he had to accept that and continue moving forward. So he went to work and did his job, and counted down the time until he could hide back in the safety of his home or studio and get lost in new sounds that didn’t sound right and new lyrics that didn’t say what he really meant.

He did find someone to talk to, but it was only a preliminary visit, so it hadn’t mentally prepared him for that strange moment that Kris the Trivia Guy was suddenly at his bar, waving him over.

Then Chanyeol rationalized that he probably didn’t know that he knew, but still, the nerve of him coming up to him was rather upsetting.

“Need something?” Chanyeol asked in a very non-polite way, and if Kris hadn’t been made aware before that Chanyeol knew about him and Kyungsoo, he certainly knew it then.

“Um… yeah, I mean no,” Kris said, looking a bit confused, as if he had to rethink why he had called him over in the first place. “I just wanted to talk to you about the music you produced for Kyungsoo. He let me hear it, and…”

“He let you hear it? Was that before or after you guys fucked?”

Okay, maybe Chanyeol had been less prepared for this than he had even thought.

Kris put up his hands in defense and said, “We just hooked up. I’m not trying to throw anything in your face, man. I’m just trying to see if you’d be interested in collaborating with some friends of mine. You’re a sick producer and you can write some crazy good songs. They could use someone like you in a project they got going on right now.”

“How many times have you hooked up?” Chanyeol asked, not interested at all in collaborating with anyone that even knew of Kris’ existence.

“Really?” Kris said, and then he shook his head, “Just let me know if you want me to get you in touch with them.”

And then Kris walked away and Chanyeol felt pathetic, so he added that to the miserable feelings crawling around inside of him.

He supposed his not-that-great mood would finally catch the attention of the wrong person, so he wasn’t surprised when he was summoned to the office and told to take a seat by Junmyeon.

“What’s up?” Chanyeol asked.

“You?” Junmyeon said, scooting his chair closer to him to look at him directly. “You’ve been very off lately. And I also have a missing server. Not to mention a cook that suddenly has strange mood swings he’s never had before.”

Chanyeol sighed and rubbed his hand over his face before pointing out, “Are you the only one that hasn’t heard all the gossip going around?”

“I’ve heard it,” Junmyeon confirmed. “And I’m concerned for all of you. But I’m starting with you. How do I help?”

Chanyeol sighed and looked at their manager a bit grateful.

“You can’t help,” he answered. “This is all my fault. I made this mess and I can’t fix any of it. So I’m sitting here helpless and trying to get through each day.”

“Chanyeol, why are you still here?” Junmyeon then asked him, and he knew from the concern in his eyes everything that Junmyeon was thinking without him having to explain his question.

“I usually like it here,” Chanyeol said, as he played with his fingers.

“You don’t need this job,” Junmyeon stated, “You have a whole music career that your parents fully support. I mean they pay for your studio. They pay for your apartment. This is the same exact conversation I always have with Minseok. I feel the both of you like to work here so you can make your lives miserable.”

Chanyeol snorted at that, knowing Junmyeon was trying to make light of it to balance out his concern.

“Maybe we do,” Chanyeol said, “But, I’m the type of person that if I don’t have a job like this, then I just become a hermit. I’ll never leave my studio, or I’ll never leave my apartment. I like my alone time a lot, but I also need to interact with people or else I get into weird head spaces that are hard to get out of. I like the forced socialization of working here. Maybe Minseok does too.”

“I can understand that,” Junmyeon said with a nod. “But if you need some time off, I can arrange for that. Usually during this time of year, people are looking to pick up more shifts anyway.”

“Actually, Jongdae and I did plan a two-day getaway because we both thought we needed some time away from everything, so if you can just make sure we can both get those days off together, which I know is a lot to ask for with us being your two best bartenders, then I think everything else would be manageable.”

“I’m not sure Irene would agree with that statement, but I’ll approve the time off for both of you,” Junmyeon said, pulling up the schedules on the computer.

“Thanks,” Chanyeol told him, and he headed to what was left of his break, not worrying about eating as he tried to take a quick 15-minute nap in his car, feeling emotionally exhausted by everything.

His theory had been that a nap would put him in a better mood for the rest of his shift, but that theory got tested when Jongin came up to him at the bar to pick up drinks for his tables and then asked Chanyeol a question he hadn’t expected.

“Hey, I need your help with something. Can I get some advice from you?”

Immediately Chanyeol thought this was Kyungsoo related, and if Jongin was going to ask him for advice on how to get Kyungsoo now that he was single again, then both of the cans of Red Bull in his hands were going to end up in Jongin’s face.

“You need advice from me?” Chanyeol asked, attempting to remain calm as he placed both of the cans on the tray.

“Yeah, because you… well I don’t want to bring it up,” Jongin said, looking to really consider his words, “But you’re good at wooing people. And I need help in that department.”

Chanyeol glared at Jongin.

“Or not… wait, no, I’m not talking about Kyungsoo. Do you think I’m talking about Kyungsoo? It’s not him,” Jongin said, waving his hands in front of him frantically.

“Why isn’t it him?” Chanyeol may have been confused now, and his demeanor relaxed some. “I mean, now’s your chance.”

“Because he’s made it abundantly clear many times that I’m his little brother and it’s never going to happen,” Jongin explained.

Chanyeol relaxed his face and shoulders a little, feeling bad now for having come off way too defensive.

“Who are you trying to woo?” Chanyeol then asked with a calmer tone as he went to fill two beer glasses from the tap.

“Don’t laugh,” Jongin said. “But I’m trying to woo Sehun.”

“Why?” Chanyeol asked, looking a bit disturbed by this.

“Because we have fun together,” Jongin said with a rather adorable smile that was filled with fondness as he probably thought about Sehun. Chanyeol’s heart lightened a little, although a little pang of pain accompanied it. “And I know he’s a bit out there, but I think it’s because he’s naïve, which I think is endearing.”

“Does he feel this way about you?” Chanyeol asked as he placed both glasses on the tray.

“No, not even. He’s really hung up on Junmyeon. But I’m hoping that with the proper wooing techniques, I can lure his attention to me instead.”

“This is so sweet that I kind of want to gag,” Chanyeol told him, but it provided him exactly the kind of distraction that he needed at this moment, so he spent the rest of his shift giving Jongin tips each time he came to pick up drinks at the bar.

But by the time he was back home, in his bed, and trying to let all the stress of his life leave him, all he could think about was how he had caught Kyungsoo staring at him in the kitchen, and how he had caught him looking at him in other moments, and how Kyungsoo had caught him staring a couple of times as well.

He wished he could have Kyungsoo back in his life. He missed holding him in his arms. He missed laughing with him. He missed amazing him with his music. He missed listening to him sing, or even speak, basically all the subtle nuances of his incredible voice.

And so, because he deserved to be tortured, he clicked on Kyungsoo’s SoundCloud link, which he had bookmarked of course, and listened to it as he lay there, thinking this would be the only way he’d ever get to have Kyungsoo again.

Even with the looks they caught each other giving the other throughout the day, Chanyeol felt that there was no hope of getting him back. If anything, Kyungsoo was probably judging him and internally hating him with each glance. It was fine though. He had his voice, and that voice was back when Kyungsoo liked him, and for now, Chanyeol would cherish it as he began to drift to sleep. Only his drifting was suddenly interrupted by a bright light coming from his phone. It was a text message, and Chanyeol knew he should ignore it and keep trying to sleep, but habit made him look.

_I’m sorry._

Chanyeol had to blink several times before registering that the text was from Kyungsoo and that it said “I’m sorry.”

_No I’m sorry._

Chanyeol texted back rapidly, hoping he didn’t miss his chance. He had been convinced that he had no chance with Kyungsoo again, and yet the text was very real.

_Maybe we should talk soon._

Chanyeol’s heart raced and he replied.

_Let’s talk tomorrow. We’re both working right?_

_Okay. Good night._

_Good night._

Chanyeol didn’t want to be excited, but he was, but he shouldn’t be. Kyungsoo had hooked up with Kris, so maybe that was going to become a thing and Kyungsoo just wanted to warn him about it. But Chanyeol had definitely caught Kyungsoo staring at him, so maybe he wanted to fix things. He wouldn’t get his hopes up, but he was excited and he couldn’t help it as he went to sleep.


	50. Margherita Pizza

Baekhyun hadn’t responded to any of his text messages, but as he packed up his small overnight bag, he took a chance on texting Yixing.

_Can I come over?_

He figured Yixing would be busy working and not reply, so he finished packing and headed to the dining room to have dinner with his parents, which he had promised them he would do before leaving. During dinner he got the text back from Yixing.

_Of course. I’ll head home and meet you there now._

It made him smile a little, and he replied that he’d probably be there in an hour so not to hurry, and then he finished his food, grabbed his things, hugged his parents goodbye, promising them that he’d take his meds, see his therapist, and update them daily until they were calm enough again to let him live his life without having to worry.

As he rode in the Uber to Yixing’s place, he stared out the window and tried to not think too much about how much of a disappointment he felt he was to his parents. He knew he was lucky that they were loving and supportive of him, but that only made him feel worse because they deserved so much better from him. And so did his friends. He was going to come up with a way to really repay Jongdae for everything one day.

He held the card to Yixing’s place and took a deep breath before using it to get inside, and then up the elevator, ringing his doorbell as he quickly ran his hand through his hair, now a weird dirty blond color from the bleach since all the red had finally disappeared.

“Hi,” Yixing said, smiling as he saw him and looking relieved. He opened the door to let him in and Baekhyun gave him a shy smile back.

“Hey,” he said, toeing off his sneakers by the door and placing his bag on the living room couch as Yixing led him to the dining room and stretched out his arm.

“I got us a Margherita pizza to share,” Yixing stated. “It’s the best one I’ve had in this city since I’ve moved here, so I thought you might like it. I wasn’t sure if you had eaten yet.”

“I had dinner with my parents, but I have a separate stomach for pizza so I’m ready to dig in,” he said, thinking Yixing was being incredibly nice considering he hadn’t reached out to him for days.

Yixing brought them napkins, and they both dug in, Baekhyun watching Yixing carefully as he ate, and Yixing doing the same.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you back earlier,” Baekhyun said when he was halfway done with his first slice. He had to agree. This was the best Margherita pizza he had ever tasted.

“It’s okay. I was confused at first and thought I had done something wrong, but I spoke to Jongdae and he explained to me what had happened.”

“Why would you think you had done anything wrong?” Baekhyun frowned at this information, not liking that he had made Yixing feel that way.

“Well, I gave you the key… And that was a bit of a change in routine.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said, understanding. “I…” He paused to think about what he had told his therapist about that, knowing that it had been a bit of a trigger.

“You can always give it back to me if you feel you’re not ready.”

“I told my therapist that you giving it to me was exciting, but made me feel like things were moving too fast.”

Yixing nodded, not saying anything and letting Baekhyun continue.

“I think it’s because I wasn’t ready for more than us just getting to know each other. That part was safe because I still had feelings for my ex, so it left the door open for him in case I could get him back. But that’s not a consideration anymore.” His brows furrowed, and he ate the rest of his slice.

“I’m very sorry about how things ended between you and him. It was obviously very difficult for you.”

“It’s so stupid,” Baekhyun said shaking his head. “Like, I always remember the good parts,” he said, looking at Yixing as he explained the nature of his and Chanyeol’s relationship. “Back in college, we’d sit at our dining table and do our homework together and steal glances at each other and smile. Even like a year into our relationship we’d be like that. And Chanyeol always had music playing, no matter what we were doing, and he’d sing along to songs or get an idea for a song, and I’d run and get his guitar for him and then just sit and watch him work it all out into an amazing piece of music. I was so in awe of him. Like at all times.”

Baekhyun paused to think about those moments for a little longer, and then he continued.

“And he was so nice. He was nice about everything. Even when I started acting out, he would do things to try and make me calm down or happy. One time I couldn’t get off the couch. I was just sitting on it, unable to move, lost in whatever was going on in my mind, and he took my hand, made me stand up with him, then put his arms around my waist and started slow dancing with me as he started singing ‘Under the Sea’ from _The Little Mermaid_. He said it was the first song that had come into his mind, and it made me laugh. I remember all the good stuff, but Chanyeol only remembers the bad stuff, so he felt it had to end. Not once, but twice.”

Baekhyun sighed and grabbed another slice of pizza, taking a bite to steady himself a bit and get his mind back onto the matter at hand, which was Yixing.

“So, I’m getting over it, and I’m here because you were helping me get over it before, and I know I don’t have the right to ask you to help me again, but I had to start somewhere.”

“Right,” Yixing nodded. “Like a rebound.”

Baekhyun’s lips twisted, not having expected that response, nor it being said as a statement without emotion but instead more like an intellectual observation.

“No,” Baekhyun said. “No, I don’t want you to think… I know I told you before that I was kinda using you, but I don’t want to keep using you. I don’t want it to be that.”

“Then what do you want it to be? Or maybe I should ask, what do you need it to be?”

“Why aren’t you upset with me right now?” Baekhyun asked him instead, mostly to deflect from him not having an immediate answer to Yixing’s questions.

“Why would I be upset with you?”

“I disappeared, didn’t text you back, made you worry…”

“I was concerned at the beginning,” Yixing said, grabbing another slice, having taken more time eating his first one than Baekhyun had, “But once I spoke to Jongdae. I understood and knew I had to wait for you to reach out. I had no reason to be upset, but the only thing that really made me upset was you not reaching out earlier so I could try and help. Or, maybe I wished you had come to me first instead of disappearing. I missed you.”

It made Baekhyun’s heart leap a bit, the idea that Yixing felt that way about him, mostly because he didn’t deserve it and felt humbled by it.

“I was a mess that first day,” Baekhyun told him. “You wouldn’t have wanted me to come to you. I mean, those are the times that Jongdae doesn’t even know what to do, so all he can do is call my parents. And then they don’t know what to do so my mom cooks me all my favorite foods and my dad makes me watch TV with them. Their strategy is always to not leave me alone, until they have to go to work and have no choice.”

“Does it work?” Yixing asked, taking another nibble off his second slice.

“I think so,” Baekhyun said. “Loneliness is my biggest fear. So, having someone there, even if we’re just watching TV, makes me feel… assured, or safe in a way, I guess.”

“The beauty of running my own company is that if you needed me to, I could work from home and keep you company,” Yixing pointed out, and Baekhyun smiled at him.

He finished his second slice, feeling too full to keep on, and already looking forward to eating the rest for breakfast if Yixing let him stay the night.

“Do you mind if I crash here tonight?” Baekhyun asked him.

“Are you trying to avoid Jongdae, or is it because you want to stay here?”

“I’m trying to avoid any conversations with Jongdae until I’ve had a good night’s sleep,” Baekhyun explained, wishing Yixing wasn’t so perceptive. “I just hate that I do this to him and worry him so much, and then he always wants to talk about it, and… I always feel guilty about it. So I’d rather do it in the morning when my head’s a little better after sleeping.”

“Of course you can stay the night,” Yixing told him, “But you have to text Jongdae and tell him you’re okay, and that you’ll see him tomorrow. Don’t make him worry a moment longer than he already has been.”

Baekhyun thought that was only fair, and he took out his phone and texted Jongdae exactly what Yixing told him to while Yixing finished his second slice.

Yixing put away the remaining pizza and they headed to his bedroom, Baekhyun wasting no time in changing into a tee and sweats as he crawled into Yixing’s comforting bed.

Yixing joined him and turned off his nightstand lamp, and Baekhyun cuddled into him and held onto him, feeling warmer when Yixing placed a soft kiss on his head and wished him a good night, which Baekhyun wished him back.

In the morning, Yixing heated up the pizza for him to have for breakfast, too strict with his own diet to deviate and making himself a bowl of granola and yogurt with fresh berries instead.

“Am I going to see you at Barry’s tonight?” Baekhyun asked him as they ate.

“I’m looking forward to your first night back,” Yixing nodded with a smile. “I might even order something different in celebration.”

Baekhyun gave him a small laugh and said he’d hold him to it, and then they finished up, put the dishes in the dishwasher, and grabbed his bag while Yixing grabbed his laptop bag. They headed out together, Yixing offering Baekhyun a lift back home, which he waved off, but Baekhyun did thank him with a small kiss and waved goodbye to him as he left before calling an Uber.

He walked into his own apartment sometime later to find Jongdae in the living room, jumping around to some dance game he was playing on their Nintendo.

“Hey, you’re back,” Jongdae said with a big smile.

“I’m back,” Baekhyun said, giving him a smile back and heading to his room to drop his things off before coming back out to the living room.

Jongdae had turned off the game and was now drinking water, and Baekhyun sat on the couch, preparing for their inevitable talk.

“On a scale of one to ten, where are you right now?” Jongdae asked sitting on the couch and facing him.

“Like a six,” Baekhyun told him.

“Not bad,” Jongdae said giving him a thumbs up.

“I’m alright, Dae,” he assured him. “And I’m sorry for putting you through this again. I owe you something, but I can’t think of something big enough.”

“You’re fine,” Jongdae waved him off, and reached over to squeeze his knee to assure him.

“When I finally get my big break, I’m going to buy you a big house with your own music studio so you can be far away from me and not have to deal with me ever again.”

“I don’t see it as dealing with you, Baek. You’re my best friend. I’m here for you. Even if you bought me a mansion in another country, I’d fly out to check up on you. Unless you’re trying to get rid of me.”

“That’s actually it,” Baekhyun teased him, and Jongdae whined and hit him with one of the sofa pillows.

“Well you haven’t missed much,” Jongdae informed him, and he caught him up on the gossip at Barry’s and how Chanyeol was a bit out of it as well so to be ready for that. “Do you have a game plan for seeing him?” Jongdae then asked when he was done.

“Ignoring him?”

“A better plan?”

Baekhyun sighed and shrugged.

“I just need to use my exercises my therapist gives me. I’ll remember. It’ll be fine.”

“Yixing really missed you,” Jongdae also pointed out.

“I spent the night at his place,” Baekhyun told him.

Jongdae looked surprised to hear this, and Baekhyun nodded.

“I felt it was time to come back, and I guess I missed him and felt bad that I sort of left him hanging.”

“You missed him?” Jongdae asked with a knowing smile.

“I mostly felt bad,” Baekhyun restated.

“You said you missed him first. That was the more honest answer.”

“I missed cuddling with him.”

Jongdae understood and nodded with a smile.

“I wasn’t sure about Yixing at first,” Jongdae admitted. “But I think he’s alright. We’ve gotten to know each other better this past week.”

“He’s weird, right?” Baekhyun asked, not sure why he may want Jongdae to disapprove. It was nice that he liked him, and he should just go with that, but he supposed he wanted to make sure.

“You’re weird, so it works.”

“This is why I’m shipping you off to another country.”

Jongdae laughed, and they talked a little more before Baekhyun tried to focus on missed emails, calls, messages, and everything else in his life he had been avoiding in the days he’d been dealing with things. He wasn’t surprised to hear the message from his agent that the casting directors had passed on him for the role, and he wasn’t surprised when he tried to make it sound like it wasn’t all bad, telling him that they really liked him and would keep him in mind for other projects. He always said that, and Baekhyun moved on to the next message, and the next, until it was time for him to get ready for his shift that he was not looking forward to.


	51. Bleu Cheese Burger

Kyungsoo almost considered trying to find someone to pick up his shift for that night, but he sucked it up and decided that he did want to talk to Chanyeol, or at least tell him that he was a screwed up mess in person and that really it’d be best for Chanyeol’s sake to not really take it so hard that they weren’t together anymore because in reality Kyungsoo had done Chanyeol a favor.

“Warning,” Jongin said as they walked toward the back entrance together after parking, “I just got a text letting me know Baekhyun’s back.”

“I’m glad he’s doing better then,” Kyungsoo said, not quite sure why he needed a warning. People at Barry’s were so dramatic. They were grown men and could handle all this maturely. Surely.

“Yeah, I missed having his energy around,” Jongin said, opening the door for the both of them.

They clocked in and went their separate ways, Kyungsoo immediately focusing on the orders coming in, needing as many things as possible to distract him from the conversation he’d be having, probably during his lunch break.

But it was hard to not get distracted when Kyungsoo put a bleu cheese burger up in the window and Chanyeol remarked how good it smelled and used that opening to confirm their conversation time.

“Do you think we could talk during lunch?” Chanyeol asked him.

Kyungsoo could tell from his expression that he was trying to not look hopeful, and he nodded, “Yeah, we’ll take it at the same time.”

“Maybe we could share one of these,” Chanyeol suggested, picking up the plate.

“Yeah, I can make us one,” Kyungsoo told him, then turned back to the grill to try and focus again.

Unfortunately, now all he could think about was the upcoming conversation. What really was he going to say to him? “I want you back, but I’m selfish and deserve to be alone,” seemed a bit overdramatic. He supposed he could say “It’s not you, it’s me, no it’s really me, you’re great, I’m crazy,” but that might be too cliché.

“You’re thinking too much,” Jorge told him as he threw some bacon onto Kyungsoo’s grill.

“Chanyeol and I are talking during our break,” Kyungsoo confessed.

“Let me know if you need me to hit him with a frying pan at any point.”

“I’ll give you the signal,” Kyungsoo said, smiling and shaking his head at him.

When break time did finally arrive, he finished up the bleu cheese burger he had made for them and put it in a to-go container with some fries that Heechul had poured out for him. He met Chanyeol by the clock and they both walked out, Chanyeol looking at Kyungsoo for direction, which made sense since this had been his idea.

Kyungsoo led him back to the park where he had made the mistake of jumping into the relationship with him, not knowing where else they could sit and eat without interruption.

He cut the burger in half for them and took a bite of his, just looking off at nothing in particular, trying to figure out where to start, and when he looked back at Chanyeol, he found him staring at him, not having taken a bite out of his burger yet, and looking a bit like a lost child, holding onto a sandwich without knowing what he was supposed to do with it because he was too concerned about being lost in the first place.

“I reacted too quickly,” Kyungsoo said to help him out and to get this over with so he could go drown in his own misery and embarrassment. “I should have listened to you and tried to understand why you did what you did. I should have let you explain it and work it out. I should have been more understanding. I’m a really bad boyfriend. You can ask my ex if you need confirmation.”

Chanyeol shook his head rapidly as Kyungsoo spoke.

“No, you had every right. I’m the bad boyfriend. I had things that I hadn’t worked out yet, and I wasn’t thinking and it all came tumbling down around me. But all this happening made me realize that you were right all along. I wasn’t ready for a relationship because my previous one had never really ended. But now it has, and now I really get to figure out how to move on.”

“That’s good,” Kyungsoo said, feeling his chest constrict a little because it hurt that the timing had been off. If he had waited long enough, something like this could still have happened and Chanyeol could have worked everything out and… But it didn’t matter because he hadn’t waited. “I should have kept waiting you out, but Jongin kept telling me that I was being annoying about the whole thing, and I wanted you, so I gave in because I didn’t want to keep leading you on or whatever.”

“The moment you said ‘yes’ I should have confronted Baekhyun and ended things. That was my fault. I didn’t think about it because I was so caught up in you that I wasn’t even thinking about him.”

“But you didn’t,” Kyungsoo said, remembering all over again how hurt he was by what Chanyeol had done. “And I didn’t wait, so…”

Kyungsoo took another bite of his burger, not thinking much more needed to be said. They were at an impasse. They should have, they could have, but they didn’t.

“You also didn’t wait to move on and hook up with Kris, so…” Chanyeol said, the bitterness in his tone piercing Kyungsoo even more than the words.

He recoiled a bit, and put the burger down, looking away again as he tried to find an answer as he chewed and swallowed what was in his mouth.

“How’s that going by the way?” Chanyeol asked him, and Kyungsoo had clearly set him off because the man in front of him was refusing to relent.

“I don’t know why that happened,” Kyungsoo said, looking back at him and not hiding the hurt on his face, which made Chanyeol soften a bit and bite his lip. “I was upset. I was angry, mostly at myself. I wanted to not think about you, and I stupidly let him come over and tried to get lost in him. But it didn’t work. And now I’m an asshole because I led him on when I’m not really interested in him. I…” Kyungsoo felt so ashamed by what he admitted that he needed a moment and sighed, “I don’t normally do things like that. I’m more careful than that, but I felt so hurt, and lonely.”

“Hurt I understand,” Chanyeol said, “But you felt lonely in less than 24 hours? It wasn’t even that long.”

“I did feel lonely. Because I felt like you never really cared about me since you were obviously still hung up on Baekhyun.”

“What I felt for you was real,” Chanyeol said, finally putting his burger down, not having bothered to take a single bite of it. “It’s possible to have feelings for two people at the same time. Just for future reference.”

Kyungsoo didn’t know what to say to that, and he decided to pick at some fries, shoving a few in his mouth to avoid saying something else that would probably come out wrong.

“I really miss you,” Chanyeol told him, and Kyungsoo closed his eyes momentarily, not needing to hear that.

“I miss you too,” he told him because if Chanyeol was going to be brave enough to say it, then he needed to be as well.

“I have massive feelings for you,” Chanyeol then said, and Kyungsoo wished he hadn’t. “Those didn’t go away.”

Kyungsoo didn’t want to say he felt the same, even though he did, but he felt he couldn’t. Things just weren’t right between them and there was too much going on inside his head to confess something that might not be prudent to confess right then.

“I need to take some time for myself,” Kyungsoo said instead. “I have a lot of things I need to figure out.”

Chanyeol looked down for a moment but then looked back at him and nodded slowly.

“I do too,” Chanyeol said. “Being alone is probably what I need right now.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo said, glad they were on the same page. Or at least they were pretending to be.

“I can’t believe I screwed this up,” Chanyeol said, letting out a deep sigh as he looked down at his untouched food, and then looking back at Kyungsoo again. “From the moment you walked into Barry’s, I knew I wanted you. Only I would manage to fuck that up.”

“You were the reason I asked for a job,” Kyungsoo confessed to him. “I thought I wouldn’t mind working somewhere where I could see you every day. And you’re not the only one that fucked this up.”

He just hadn’t been ready, but Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be ready. Maybe relationships just weren’t for people like him who valued their independence too much.

“So we’re taking time for ourselves,” Chanyeol stated, as if needing to recap their conversation. “And then what? Is there any hope here down the line for us?”

Kyungsoo shrugged. How was he supposed to know? He was just trying to make it through this conversation.

“Maybe we should let things play out naturally,” Kyungsoo suggested.

Chanyeol seemed to consider the answer and shook his head at himself, as if thinking it was an answer that made him lose hope.

Kyungsoo finished the last bites of his burger and closed the lid, pushing it toward Chanyeol who hadn’t eaten at all.

“I’m going to head back,” Kyungsoo told him as he stood up, “You should eat. We still have a long shift ahead of us.”

“I’ll eat,” Chanyeol told him, not quite looking at him, and Kyungsoo left him, feeling his own stomach wrench a bit.

This was so hard, but he didn’t know what else to do. His feelings for Chanyeol were intact, as if nothing had happened between them, but a chasm had opened between them out of nowhere and now they had to stay apart while still wanting to be with the other. It was horrible.

But it was for the best.

At least that’s how Kyungsoo explained it to Jongin later that night at home as they sat on the couch, trying to de-stress from their long shifts.

“I feel bad,” Jongin admitted as he downed some of his water, “I should have let you keep doing your thing instead of picking on you to get with him already.”

“This is your fault,” Kyungsoo acknowledged.

“Not entirely though,” Jongin defended, his deep voice pitching a little higher, “You’re ultimately responsible for your own decisions.”

“Every time you told me that I was being difficult, all I could think about was Minho telling me I was difficult. You know how you’re supposed to learn from your mistakes? I was trying to do something different because I knew you were right. I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t have, but in that moment, it was all I wanted. So maybe it wasn’t entirely wrong, but it wasn’t right either.”

“I don’t think it was wrong at all,” Jongin said, finishing what was left of the water bottle and playing with it as he turned it over and over with his hands. “From the moment you got with him, you were this other person. All smiley and weird. I barely recognized you.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo said, and if he wasn’t so tired, he might have blushed.

“I think you guys just need to give it time, but I think you’ll find your way back to each other. There was just this tiny thing that needed to be dealt with, and it got dealt with. I mean, unless you’re really into the trivia guy.”

“Oh God,” Kyungsoo said, rolling his eyes and taking his phone out of his jeans pocket to look at his text messages. “Shit, he texted me again.”

“Didn’t you guys talk at trivia night?”

“I told him I was too busy to talk,” Kyungsoo told him. He was a terrible person. He knew it.

“You seem to have a type – persistent.”

“Ha,” Kyungsoo said, though in a way that lacked humor. “I should text him back. I’m just being a dick.”

“I’m going to pass out. You do what you want. I’ve learned my lesson with you. I’m done giving you advice.”

“Thanks for nothing,” Kyungsoo said, passing his hand through his hair as he looked at the latest text.

_I can get the hint, but I still think it would be cool to hang. Just as friends. I get it._

_I’m a dick. Sorry. I’ve been dealing with a lot._

_Holy shit you replied. I should play the lotto._

_Ha! Dumbass. I am really sorry though. I kind of freaked out after that night. I’m not the type to just hook up with someone like that. I’m a bit turned around right now._

_Understandable. No hard feelings. I didn’t think I had an actual chance, but I had fun. You’re as good of a kisser as I thought you’d be._

_I’m going to die._

_Why? You’re great. No pressure. I just like hanging out with you. Maybe we can hang out at a bar or something. I promise I won’t try and take you home._

_I think I need to stay away from drinking situations while I’m dealing with this dumb breakup. I’m going to an open mic night this weekend. I can send you the details if you want to come be the only person to clap for me._

_Send them to me, and I’ll record as everyone claps for you._

_Why are you still being this nice to me? I literally ghosted on you after we hooked up._

_I like you Kyungsoo. It can’t be helped. Plus you seem to need a friend right now, and I want to be your friend, so it’s mutual._

_I’m sorry I used you like that._

_You already apologized._

_I’m sorry. I feel like shit about it._

_Put it in your lyrics and in your performance this weekend. Don’t waste it on me because I’m not listening. All I hear is that we’re hanging out._

_You’re a bit insane._

_Try dealing with the Mid-Wilshire Posse every Tuesday night and see how sane you can stay._

_Good point._

_See you this weekend._

_See you._

Kyungsoo texted him the details of where he’d be doing his open mic performance and then headed to bed, where he went through his nightly ritual of scrolling through his pictures of Chanyeol on his phone before falling asleep.


	52. Cucumber

Chanyeol was counting down the time on his shift, looking forward to clocking out, hopping in the car with Jongdae and getting away for the weekend. They had already thrown their bags in the car with the game plan of leaving work, heading straight to the hotel for a late check-in, and passing out to start a glorious and stress-free weekend. Chanyeol had brought his guitar as well and was hoping to let the inspiration flow while sitting beachside and enjoying the view. He just needed to get through this shift.

“I don’t like this booth. These are empty. Why can’t I sit here?” Some woman was complaining to Sehun, who looked a bit confused, and Chanyeol looked around for Jongin to try and warn him that he was getting a difficult customer in his section, but he didn’t see him around at the moment.

He continued to mix drinks as he watched, thoroughly entertained by this woman explaining to a less-than-interested Sehun that she didn’t want to sit so close to the stacked menus and register the initial booth was situated by.

Sehun sat her and her female companion in a different booth then came over to the bar to sigh and ask for water.

“50 bucks they won’t even tip,” Chanyeol said with a snort as he filled up a cup with ice water for Sehun.

“That’s Jongin’s problem to deal with,” Sehun said, and then he frowned, “I shouldn’t have put her in his section. I should have put her in Baekhyun’s or Seulgi’s. Jongin’s too nice to have to deal with that.”

Chanyeol smiled and handed Sehun his water, then went back to mixing the next drink that had popped up on the screen.

“Jongin is nice,” Chanyeol agreed. “It seems you guys have been hanging out together more lately.”

“Yeah, we’ve been going clubbing,” Sehun said with a nod. “He’s a really good dancer. Like a real dancer. Did you know he studied ballet?”

“I heard that,” Chanyeol told him, “He seems more interesting than Junmyeon. Maybe you should have a crush on him instead.”

“On Jongin? He’s no Junmyeon. Junmyeon looks like he should be the CEO of a company. Jongin is just pretty.”

“What does it matter if Junmyeon looks like the CEO of a company when he’s just a restaurant manager?” Chanyeol asked, not understanding Sehun logic at all. “Jongin looks like he’s pretty and is actually pretty. He seems like the better choice.”

“He’s just not my type.”

“So your type is people who look like what they’re not?”

“No,” Sehun said, as if not getting the joke.

Though honestly, Chanyeol thought, he probably really didn’t get it, or that it wasn’t really a joke.

“What is your type then?” Chanyeol asked to help him out of wherever his brain appeared to have gotten stuck.

“People who carry themselves like Junmyeon and look like Junmyeon.”

“You sound obsessive.”

Sehun shrugged, and then they both turned their heads when they heard a commotion in time to see the woman who had complained about the booth now on the floor screaming.

“Oh my God!” The woman with her said as she rushed over to her. “She fell!”

“Oh my God!” The woman on the floor yelled. “Oh my God! I hit my head!”

Chanyeol called for a manager quick as Jongin and Sehun ran over to see what happened.

“She fell!” The woman screamed at Jongin.

“Are you okay?” Jongin asked, crouching down to talk to the woman.

“I can’t believe I slipped on something!” The woman yelled at him.

Junmyeon ran over to handle the situation, and Chanyeol felt like he was watching some surreal movie with how over-the-top the woman was being.

“What happened?” Jongdae asked, now beside him.

“This woman fell,” Chanyeol said. “It was crazy. She was complaining about her booth, and then Sehun put her in a new one, and now she’s on the floor. Like what even is this?”

“Are you in pain?” Junmyeon asked her, as he assessed the situation.

“I hit my head! Oh my God, I slipped on something!”

“Can you sit up?” Junmyeon asked, and he helped the woman sit up, and then stand up and sit back in the booth.

“What is that?” The other woman asked, “Is that a cucumber?”

“Oh my God, I slipped on a cucumber!” The woman cried out.

“Why is there a cucumber on the floor?” The other woman asked in horror.

Chanyeol started cracking up, and Jongdae had to bite his lip to keep from doing the same.

“This is stressing me out,” Baekhyun said as he stood by the bar now, watching the scene and giggling.

“I can’t believe there’s a cucumber on the floor!” The woman said in indignation, and Chanyeol had to give Junmyeon all the credit for keeping it together while dealing with them.

Jongin came over to the bar, his shoulders moving up and down as his body laughed while he tried to keep the actual sounds of laughter from coming out of his mouth.

Chanyeol was about to lose it completely.

Junmyeon instructed Sehun to clean up the cucumber from the floor, and Chanyeol did almost lose it then.

“This is why I don’t leave the house,” the woman cried out.

“It’s true. You never know when you might get attacked by cucumbers,” Baekhyun said, and they all lost their shit, Chanyeol having to crouch down behind the bar in fear of getting caught dying of laughter by Junmyeon.

“Jongin, please get them two waters,” Junmyeon said coming back to the bar, and Chanyeol had to take several deep breaths before he could stand up and get back to looking like he was working. “And take their orders, even if it’s to go. I’ll be right back. I need to get the paperwork to file for this incident.”

“Two waters please,” Jongin said to Chanyeol between more giggles.

“You are a saint,” Chanyeol told Junmyeon, as Chanyeol got the waters for Jongin and his two guests, who were still shocked by the true power of cucumber.

With the mood lightened by this weird turn of events, time flew by a little faster, the two women calming down as they ate their free food, and obviously not leaving a tip as they left with their doggie bags and copy of the filed report.

“That cucumber was like this big,” Sehun pointed out when he visited the bar again sometime after, and he allowed only for a tiny gap between his thumb and index finger.

“It was nonexistent,” Jongin agreed, at the bar waiting for his table’s drinks. “I can see slipping on it if it was bigger or if it was cucumber juice, but it was just a tiny piece.”

“We’re probably still going to get a meeting from it about making sure we sweep up more regularly or whatever,” Chanyeol said, still too amused as he poured the beers for Jongin’s table.

“Did you guys see how Junmyeon handled that though?” Sehun said. “He was so calm and cool. He handled it so perfectly.”

Jongin rolled his eyes and took his drinks from Chanyeol, leaving Chanyeol to handle Sehun’s delusions about their manager.

“He’s been working here a long time,” Chanyeol said. “That’s why he’s so good at handling these situations.”

“It was amazing. I never could have handled it like that. I didn’t even know what to do when she wanted to switch booths, so I just moved her to another booth.”

“That’s… literally what you would do in that situation? Like, you handled it just fine?”

“I couldn’t have handled that whole thing if I had been manager.”

“Sehun, what exactly are you in college for again?”

“Marine Biology.”

Chanyeol blinked, “Right, I don’t think I remember you mentioning that before. I was just thinking you could sneak in some management classes and then you’d see it’s not that difficult at all. Marine Biology? Really?”

“Yeah, I won first place at the science fair my junior year of high school for devising a non-toxic solution to reverse ocean acidification, so I figured it was a sign that it was my true calling.”

“Makes sense. How’s that going for you?”

“Pretty well. I’m on track to graduate with honors.”

Chanyeol had intended to make a point with his questioning, but now he just felt proud for their young, incompetent host.

“Good for you,” Chanyeol said patting him on the shoulder and giving it a little squeeze. “You know what, Sehun, do you. I’ll never understand your Junmyeon thing, but do you.”

“I will. Thanks, Chanyeol,” Sehun said with a nod and then he went back to the host stand when he saw some people had come in.

“Have I missed anymore homicidal cucumbers?” Baekhyun asked as he came up to Jongdae at the bar.

“That’s why I never order the salads here,” Jongdae said, and they both snickered again.

Chanyeol smiled, but stayed out of the conversation, busying himself with cleaning up his side of the bar in preparation of quitting time.

When Baekhyun had returned to Barry’s, Chanyeol had expected the cold shoulder routine all over again, but instead Baekhyun seemed like his normal self, looking as relaxed as usual and being polite with him when they had to interact at the bar.

It was nice, and Chanyeol was grateful for it, even if he suspected that Baekhyun may have been acting this way to get through the day himself.

Kyungsoo on the other hand…

Each time Chanyeol walked into the kitchen to grab something for the bar, he was ignored by Kyungsoo, or Kyungsoo was conveniently busy doing something else that required them to not interact.

Chanyeol felt like he was in some upside down world with Baekhyun being civil and Kyungsoo not really interacting with him at all. It made him more certain that he needed this mini vacation, and he hoped that he spent the next two days not thinking at all about Barry’s or any of its dwellers.

Except that he for sure was going to write a song about the cucumber incident. But other than that, Barry’s was off limits.

Chanyeol and Jongdae had never finished their closing duties as quickly as they did that night. They clocked out so fast that Junmyeon looked at them concerned that something terrible had happened.

“See you Monday!” Chanyeol yelled out to him with a fist pump, and Junmyeon understood and laughed, telling them to have a great time.

They couldn’t pull out of that parking lot fast enough.


	53. Eggs Benedict

Baekhyun had switched with Wendy to take the morning shift that Saturday so he could go on a date with Yixing that night. And while he knew that Chanyeol was gone for the weekend with Jongdae, he still thought it’d be a nice relaxing shift where he wouldn’t have to pretend to be totally okay while around both of them. However, it seemed that Kyungsoo had also switched with one of the morning cooks for whatever reason, and now Baekhyun was a bit on edge again, though he knew he had no reason to be.

“You know, I switched so I could spend the whole evening with you,” Baekhyun told Yixing after spotting him walking in and heading to his usual table. “You didn’t have to come visit.”

“Should I leave then?” Yixing asked, looking a bit serious about it.

“No. I’m just saying,” Baekhyun said with a laugh.

“I did consider going to the coffee shop instead, but I was in the mood for a hearty breakfast,” Yixing pointed out looking over the menu.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Baekhyun said, looking at him amused as he stood with his hand on his hip and watched him, “What’s your idea of a hearty breakfast?”

“This egg white omelet seems like it could be good,” he said, pointing out their healthiest breakfast option on the menu.

“You are so frustrating,” Baekhyun said, grabbing the menu out of his hand. “You don’t even deserve to look at this menu.”

“You offer it. Someone must order it.”

“People on diets order it. I’m just going to order you eggs benedict. It seems like something you’d eat.”

“Oh, that’s a bit rich for me.”

“It comes with strawberries on the side. It’ll balance it out,” Baekhyun said as he walked away, and he could see Yixing chuckling out of the corner of his eyes.

It almost annoyed him how easily interacting with Yixing could put him in a good mood, and it definitely annoyed him that he still couldn’t figure out what to do with him. He wanted them to continue to see each other, but ever since Yixing had mentioned that he’d be like a rebound, Baekhyun couldn’t figure out how to make what they were doing seem like anything else.

Baekhyun was hoping that Yixing would stick around long enough so he could take his break with him, but unfortunately after he ate half of his eggs benedict, he had to head into his office to work on some things. So instead, Baekhyun took his break alone, heading outside and contemplating sitting in the nearby park, listening to some music and napping on a bench.

It was a nice day out, and it seemed a lot of people were taking advantage of the sun and light breeze combination that always made for a pleasant time outdoors. He went to find a bench to sit on and spotted Kyungsoo on one, literally taking his idea as he sat with his earbuds in place, eyes closed with his arms crossed in front of him.

He still didn’t understand why Kyungsoo and Chanyeol weren’t together. It hadn’t made sense to him when Jongdae explained why Kyungsoo had broken up with him in the first place, and it still hadn’t become clearer. He would have done anything to keep Chanyeol, and the idea that Kyungsoo wouldn’t do the same, made Baekhyun feel a series of complex emotions he couldn’t quite name.

Kyungsoo and him didn’t even seem to have anything in common. Baekhyun had tried to find a link between the two of them, something to solidify that Chanyeol had a type, but nothing made sense there either and it made Baekhyun think that he had been such a horrible experience for Chanyeol that Chanyeol had gone and made sure to find someone that was nothing like him. That just made him feel sad.

Okay, he was too much in his head and overthinking everything. He shook his head and took a deep breath, attempting to regain the situation in his mind. Chanyeol had dumped him. He had to move on. He was moving on. There was no reason that seeing Kyungsoo steal his idea and his bench should make him take ten steps backward.

Why did it still hurt so much? Why couldn’t he be over this part already? A possible nice something with Yixing was waiting on the other side if he could just get over this bump.

Kyungsoo yawned and then looked around and spotted him staring at him, and though Baekhyun did look away, he realized how stupid he looked, still standing there with his body facing Kyungsoo, so he looked back and saw that Kyungsoo was looking away from him.

The problem was that all the other benches were taken, and he really did need to get off his feet, so he went for it anyway and took a seat by Kyungsoo, who looked back at him with pure suspicion.

“Can I help you?” Kyungsoo then asked.

“All the other benches are taken,” Baekhyun pointed out.

“This one’s taken too.”

“Wow,” Baekhyun said, and he laughed a little nervously. “I don’t think anyone’s ever hated me to the point where they wouldn’t share a bench.”

Kyungsoo looked away, and then looked back at him, seeming to have a mental discussion with himself.

“Sorry, whatever. Sit where you want,” he said, but then scooted away from him slightly.

“I still can’t believe you broke up with Chanyeol,” Baekhyun then said.

“I still can’t believe you haven’t found your way back to him,” Kyungsoo said rolling his eyes.

“He doesn’t want me,” Baekhyun said, even though it pained him to admit it.

“I’m sure you can make him want you in no time,” Kyungsoo said, and he let out a deep breath than directly addressed him. “You’re the last person in the world I’m going to talk about Chanyeol with, so I suggest you just stop talking to me.”

“But how did you do it?” Baekhyun asked, not one to heed warnings well.

“How did I do what?”

“How did you let him go?”

Kyungsoo observed him, and Baekhyun blinked, waiting patiently for an answer.

“I think what you’re asking is how did I stop have feelings for him,” Kyungsoo said, narrowing his eyes a little in thought, before looking right into Baekhyun’s eyes and saying, “I haven’t. But we got caught up in a moment, and went too fast, and it was evident that we weren’t ready yet, so I ended it.”

“But why not hold on and try and work through whatever?” Baekhyun asked him, grateful that he seemed to understand what he was trying to find out.

“Because there’s nothing to work through if the issue is with yourself,” Kyungsoo said with a frustrated sigh. “I have a lot in my life I need to figure out. And I can’t be a good boyfriend if I’m too busy being upset with who I am in general.”

“How could you be upset with who you are?” Baekhyun asked surprised to hear him say this. “You’re so cool and so together. I’m convinced Chanyeol liked you so much because you were the exact opposite of me.”

“You have your way of hiding your issues, I have mine,” Kyungsoo said diplomatically, and it dawned on Baekhyun then that Chanyeol had probably told Kyungsoo a lot more about Baekhyun’s issues than he would have liked.

“Oh.” Baekhyun looked away from Kyungsoo and took in some kids running around on the green lawn as they chased each other.

“You know, I’m not even going to try and pretend to understand you,” Kyungsoo then said, and Baekhyun looked back at him to see him looking as if he was very much trying to understand. “We’re opposites when it comes to this. You get too attached, and I’m too scared to get attached at all.”

“Wait, you’re scared to be attached to Chanyeol?” Baekhyun asked, surprised and shifting to face him better.

“I’m scared to be attached to anyone. And if what you’re going through is what’s on the other side of that, then I’m perfectly fine not being attached to anyone ever. This is tough enough.”

“But when you get attached, that’s when the good stuff happens,” Baekhyun explained, “Especially with someone like Chanyeol. When things were good between us, and we were on the same page, it was the best feeling in the world. You’re never happier than at that moment, and you never feel more loved and more… whole. It’s like this massive high.”

“That sounds frightening.”

“No, it’s amazing. Trust me. You want to do this with Chanyeol. Maybe you need to work out some other things for yourself, but being with him is what you want. He’s such a good person, and so caring, and he really knows how to make you feel alive. I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to let go of him. I don’t think anyone else is ever going to make me feel that way again.”

“My ex-boyfriend never made me feel that way,” Kyungsoo stated. “He loved me. I know that. And I did feel good being with him, but I also felt like I shouldn’t be too dependent on having him in my life. Just in case.”

“Your issues are weird,” Baekhyun stated, mostly because he couldn’t understand thinking that way. “Well if you don’t think you can commit to Chanyeol fully, then you probably shouldn’t. He deserves to have someone that’s as committed to him as he is to whoever he’s with. He loves a lot. I’ll always miss that. I’ll never forgive myself for screwing that up.”

“That’s probably why you can’t move on,” Kyungsoo said, “You keep thinking you screwed it up. But based on what I’ve been told, there was a lot that happened that you couldn’t control. So you didn’t screw anything up, and you have nothing to forgive yourself for.”

“No, I could have tried harder. I didn’t think I would lose him, so I didn’t try to fight it as hard as I should have. I just thought it would be this thing we all could live with. But it turns out I was wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun nodded at him, sensing that he meant it.

“It’s okay. I’m moving forward. Little by little. I have a pretty good distraction helping me out for now, which is kinda working. Well it was working. Now I don’t know what it’s doing.” He really did need to figure this Yixing thing out.

“Your regular?” Kyungsoo asked him. “Does he give you that high as well?”

“Not exactly,” Baekhyun admitted. “But he does make me smile a lot, and I do look forward to hanging out with him. We actually have a date tonight. That’s why I switched with Wendy. He’s taking me to one of his favorite restaurants, which means I’ll need to probably pick up Jack in the Box after.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about the pigeon.”

“You did?”

“Everyone heard about the pigeon,” Kyungsoo confirmed.

“It was so crazy,” Baekhyun said with a small laugh. “He promises it won’t be like that one. He said they have really good steak, so we’ll see.”

A warm memory flooded back to Baekhyun then, and for some reason he felt compelled to share it with Kyungsoo.

“You know how Chanyeol and I met in college?” He began rhetorically. “Well, the first real date we ever went on was to BCD. And we stayed there for hours, just talking and getting to know each other. We ordered so much food, and we both swore we’d never eat again. After that, whenever we were up late studying or just up bored, we’d go to BCD and order all this soon tofu and we’d share bibimbap and talk about how he was going to be a huge music producer and I was going to be this big actor and we’d go to all these red carpet events together and take over Hollywood.”

Baekhyun smiled and Kyungsoo just stared at him, understandably wanting him to get to the point.

“I’m sure you have your Chanyeol memories too,” Baekhyun said, not even knowing what his point had been. It had just been a memory that seemed worth sharing. “Don’t give up on him, Kyungsoo. He’s worth it. He’s going to make you so happy once you give him another chance.”

“I can’t give him another chance until I know he’s completely over you and until I know that you’re completely out of the picture.”

Baekhyun frowned, and a little piercing sensation seemed to bother his chest.

“Chanyeol said that he wants us to work our way up to being friends again someday,” Baekhyun told him. “I’m not sure that can happen, but if it did, you wouldn’t give him a chance?”

“Can the two of you even be just friends?”

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to get through this part first.”

Kyungsoo looked away again for a moment, taking in some dogs that were now playing in the park, and then he turned his attention back to Baekhyun.

“I don’t have the right to ask you guys to not be friends,” he said. “I guess if the two of you got to a place where you could just be friends, that would mean you were both doing well and had moved on, so I guess that wouldn’t qualify as you being in the picture in the sense I meant.”

“Good to know,” Baekhyun nodded. “Maybe we can all get to the point where we can all be friends. Jongdae really likes you.”

“I really like him,” Kyungsoo said, seeming to relax a little finally. “He’s an amazing person.”

“He really is. I was really hoping things worked out with him and Jongin.”

“They would have been good together,” Kyungsoo agreed.

“I really hope Jongdae gets over this Minseok thing soon,” Baekhyun admitted. “He deserves so much better than to be the side piece.”

“You can’t help who you like.”

No, you really couldn’t, and Baekhyun sighed and nodded, checking the time on his phone and groaning. He didn’t want to go back to work. He just wanted to clock out and get ready for his night with Yixing.

“I need to head back,” Kyungsoo said, checking his own phone.

“Yeah, I need to go soon too. This was good though, right? Us talking?”

Kyungsoo stood up and paused, pocketing his earbuds and looking at him as if needing to choose his words carefully.

“I don’t think we really need to be in the habit of talking,” Kyungsoo then said.

“I get it. You don’t trust me. It’s fine.”

“It’s not that. It’s that you literally tried to sabotage me and Chanyeol’s relationship from the moment it started.”

“But I’m not trying to get him back anymore, so you don’t have to worry about that,” Baekhyun attempted to plead his case.

“You’re not getting it,” Kyungsoo said, and Baekhyun noticed that he looked frustrated all over again. “You had no respect for me or Chanyeol. You’re that type of person. You would do it again if the circumstances were right. You don’t respect boundaries, and you’re selfish. And I know you’re going through a lot, so I know that weighs in, but how much of that is your issues and how much of that is just who you are? When it comes to you, there’s no way for me to know. So no, we don’t need to make this a habit. And for future reference, I only make friends with people who respect me and those I care about.”

Baekhyun knew he deserved that, and he watched Kyungsoo walk away, feeling small and thinking that it was hard to respect other people when you didn’t respect yourself.

He spent the next ten minutes or so, lying on the bench, listening to music and trying to not let Kyungsoo’s words consume him. But the question Kyungsoo had asked him was one he had asked himself many times before, whether when crying alone in his bed at night or crying in a therapy session where he was trying to work out his feelings. How much of it was his issues and how much of it was who he was? He just didn’t know.


	54. Lemonade

The best part of a nice weekend getaway was feeling refreshed and ready for work. Jongdae was in the best mood ever as he filled up glasses with mixed drinks and kept thinking that vacations should be mandatory to increase worker productivity.

“Nice tan,” Seulgi told him as she came to the bar to pick up drinks.

“It was accidental,” Jongdae told her with a small laugh. “I tried so hard to stay out of the sun, but it kept following me. Especially when I was in the pool.”

“Damn that sun,” she said, laughing as well. “It does look good on you though.”

“Thanks,” he told her, and then he looked over at Baekhyun who had taken her place just as she took off with her tray.

“Don’t ever abandon me for that long again,” Baekhyun told him.

“As if you didn’t spend all your time at Yixing’s while I was gone.”

“That’s not the point. The point is that yesterday when I got home, I started talking to you like you were there, but you weren’t. I can’t be talking to myself like that. People already think I’m crazy.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jongdae said, and Baekhyun laughed as Jongdae figured out what drinks he was supposed to make for him.

At some point, Minseok stopped by the bar as he did his rounds and also decided to comment on his tan.

“It’s sexy,” Minseok said, once he knew no one was around to hear him. “Is it a full tan?”

“I guess you’ll find out tonight,” Jongdae teased.

“I guess I will,” Minseok teased back, giving him a small smirk before checking up on Yeri at the host stand.

Jongdae had not wanted to admit to himself how much he missed Minseok over the weekend. Chanyeol had taken his phone away from him, and in turn, Jongdae had done the same to Chanyeol. The two of them complained at least once an hour about either not having their phones or missing the person they weren’t supposed to be thinking about.

It was therapeutic in a way, but Jongdae would be lying if he hadn’t been thinking the whole time about how nice it would have been for it to have been Minseok instead with him in the pool, or walking on the beach, and so on. He’d also be lying if he didn’t admit that he was looking forward to coming in today just to see him again.

One of the nights, while sitting on the beach, drinking and listening to Chanyeol strum on his guitar, Chanyeol had asked him, “So what are we going to do about this Minseok problem?”

“Is it really a problem?” Jongdae had mused, leaning back against his hands and closing his eyes to take in the feel of the ocean breeze and the sound of the waves at night. “What are we going to do about this Kyungsoo problem?”

“Kyungsoo’s not a problem. Kyungsoo’s a dream that I almost had.”

“You did have. And you can still have.”

“Don’t you want someone that just wants you? Whatever happened with Jongin?”

Jongdae had laughed, “Jongin’s nice, but the chemistry wasn’t there. He didn’t make me feel the way Minseok had, and yes I want someone that just wants me, but I also want to feel the way I do when I’m with him.”

“I get that,” Chanyeol had nodded.

And they had both drifted off into their thoughts, comfortably sitting by the sea, and in understanding company.

But now he was back among the loud sounds of the games broadcasting on the televisions and the noisy bar chatter and cheers of the patrons watching them as he made sure everyone was tended to and properly refilled.

“Hey, what can I get you?” Jongdae said, flashing a smile to the super cute new guy that had sat on his side of the bar. It wasn’t often that Jongdae thought any of their patrons were particularly attractive, but this one definitely caught his attention.

“Hi, um, can I just get a lemonade for now?” He said, glancing around and not seeming to be interested in either sports or Jongdae’s smile.

“Sure,” Jongdae said, grabbing a glass to fill with ice and lemonade, and then placing it in front of him with a straw.

“Thanks,” the guy said with a smile and then he asked, “Um, is Minseok working tonight?”

“He is,” Jongdae said, “Do you need me to go get him for you?”

“That would be great. Thanks.”

Jongdae nodded and passed along the info to Jongin when he walked by, “Can you let Minseok know there’s someone at the bar looking for him?”

“Will do,” Jongin said as he headed toward the kitchen.

Jongdae then went back to his customers and was in the middle of filling a beer at the tap when he heard Minseok’s voice say “Oh my God” in surprise. He looked over in time to see the huge smiles on both men’s faces as Minseok embraced the lemonade guy and gave him a kiss right on the lips that made Jongdae’s heart stop.

“Surprise!” The other man said with a laugh.

“What are you doing here?” Minseok asked.

“My meeting got canceled, so I caught an early flight back.”

“Oh my God,” Minseok said again, hugging him and then looking at his drink. “Did you order something? Can you stay? Who’s…” Minseok looked to see who the bartender for that section of the bar was, and Jongdae turned so fast to avoid his look but had managed to see the realization in Minseok’s eyes anyway.

He needed to breathe. He also needed to stop the tap from flowing as his beer glass overflowed.

“Shit,” he said to himself, grabbing the towel to clean up the glass, which he wasn’t sure he’d be able to take to its appropriate customer without dropping.

“Chanyeol,” Minseok called over, and Chanyeol went to Jongdae’s side of the bar, which gave Jongdae a chance to take a few more deep breaths before forcing himself to start functioning again.

“What’s up?” Chanyeol asked.

“Chanyeol, this is my husband, Luhan. Luhan, this our best bartender, Chanyeol.”

Okay, more deep breaths then.

“Oh, hey!” Chanyeol said with excitement, though Jongdae couldn’t tell with his back turned if it was genuine or fake. “Nice to finally meet you!”

“Chanyeol will make sure you get a real drink while I find a table for you to hang out at. That way I can keep bothering you the whole night.”

“Sounds fun,” Luhan said with a laugh.

“A whole night at Barry’s is the definition of fun,” Chanyeol said to him with a laugh. “What can I get you?”

Jongdae still hadn’t managed to leave the tap, holding onto the beer glass like it was the only thing keeping him from collapsing onto the floor. He didn’t even know what to think. His mind had gone blank.

“Don’t worry,” Chanyeol said, coming over to him and speaking softly. “Go take a break right now. I’ll handle the bar, and when you come back, you can take my side, and I’ll take yours.”

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said, blinking a few times, and grateful when Chanyeol took the beer out of his shaking hand.

“Go take a small break,” Chanyeol told him. “Who does this belong to?”

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said again. “The hipster guy in the Clippers shirt.”

“Take a break,” Chanyeol told him, taking the beer to his customer.

Jongdae took another deep breath and turned around, trying to not look in the direction of Minseok and Luhan, but it was impossible with the way Minseok was excitedly introducing him to every single person that passed by on their shift.

“Sehun, is there a spot near the last pool table?” Minseok asked, and then, “This is Sehun. He’s one of our hosts. Sehun, this is my husband Luhan.”

He said it with so much pride. Like he was the luckiest person in the world for being able to say that. Jongdae was going to throw up.

“Baekhyun, this is Luhan,” he said when Baekhyun passed by.

“Oh, finally a face to the name,” Baekhyun said with a laugh. “Shut up, you’re so cute. Minseok never told us how cute you were.”

Luhan laughed at the compliment and thanked him, returning it and then adding, “Minseok never told me he worked with so many good looking people either,” and Luhan glanced toward Jongdae then, which made Jongdae glance around in panic, trying to find something to do that made him look busy.

He started wiping down already-wiped-down glasses for no reason.

“I heard a rumor,” Junmyeon said coming out from the back, and then he too was giving Luhan a big hug and this was starting to become a bit much.

Okay, he was going to need to take that break after all. He didn’t even bother telling Chanyeol, who was caught up in the middle of the exciting introductions and reunions happening at the other end of the bar, so he just left and headed straight out the back, leaning against the wall and sliding down it as he buried his head in his knees to get a grip on whatever was going through his mind.

This was okay. It was fine. It had been inevitable. Of course Luhan would want to come surprise Minseok at his job one day. Of course Minseok would be over the moon about it. They were married. This was something married people did. Jongdae was the outlier. Jongdae had no place in their relationship.

Of course Luhan was attractive, with his soft face, and big, bright doe eyes, and athletic body. Of course Minseok had fallen in love with someone that looked like that. Now that he knew what Luhan looked like, Jongdae couldn’t even imagine why Minseok had looked in his direction in the first place.

And Luhan had given Minseok everything he wanted—a marriage, an open-relationship, a nice home, a nice bank account, because that’s how much he loved him and wanted Minseok to be happy. Meanwhile, here was Jongdae wishing he could be his when all he could offer him was… nothing. He didn’t have money. He didn’t have a respectable job. He didn’t have the funds to marry him. He didn’t have anything. He really was nothing more to Minseok than someone to hook up with while his husband was gone. And all the times that Minseok had shown him that he cared, that he was concerned, that he would stay the night to make sure he was okay, what had that been? Just Minseok being a nice person? Fuck.

“Dae,” Baekhyun’s voice came, and then he felt his hand in his hair, caressing it. Jongdae hadn’t even heard the back door open. “It’s okay.”

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said, though his voice sounded quite muffled as he spoke into his legs.

“Of course you are,” Baekhyun said, sitting in front of him and pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay. Don’t worry. Tonight after we’re done, we’ll go get wasted and forget all about this.”

“I don’t want to get wasted. I want to go home and cry.”

Baekhyun hugged him tighter and rubbed his back, and Jongdae felt like crying then, but he was doing his best to hold it all back. He didn’t want to cry at work. He felt he had no right to. Minseok never told him that what they were doing was anything other than what it was, so it had been entirely his fault for allowing himself to get caught up in the first place. He had to accept full responsibility for this moment. Minseok was on cloud nine right now, not even caring that Jongdae existed. It was only Jongdae who felt as if his world had come crashing down around him.

This time Jongdae did hear the back door open and Chanyeol’s voice say, “Coast is clear. Sehun seated him far from the bar. Take your time though.”

Chanyeol went back inside, and Jongdae took a deep breath, pushing himself up and standing steady with the help of Baekhyun who stood up with him.

“Why don’t you go sit in the park for a little bit?” Baekhyun asked him.

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said for the millionth time, and he dusted off the back of his jeans. “I’m going to focus on work and then get out of here.”

“Okay, I’ll do my closing duties quick tonight so I’m ready to go when you are.”

“You don’t have to. Aren’t you going to Yixing’s?”

“Not anymore. I’m going home with you. I think we have some soju in the fridge we still have to finish. We’ll start with those.”

Baekhyun was ridiculous, but Jongdae just let him be as he walked back inside, heading toward the restroom to wash his hands and pull himself together but then realizing that the restrooms were right by where Luhan would have been seated. He turned around and headed to the kitchen instead to wash his hands in their sink.

“You okay?” Kyungsoo asked him when he saw him, and Jongdae hated how fast word got around in that place.

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said, and he took a deep breath.

“I’ll make you the best burger you’ve ever had when you’re ready for your lunch break,” Kyungsoo told him.

“You don’t have to,” Jongdae told him. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to eat anyway.

Back at the bar, he took over his section again, now not needing to switch since Luhan had been moved to another table. He went on autopilot, keeping all of his emotions buried as he took orders, made drinks and tried to keep his area clean to minimize his closing duties that night.

Baekhyun, Jongin, and even Sehun, kept checking up on him throughout the night, which he appreciated even though it was completely unnecessary. He could feel Chanyeol keeping an eye on him, which he also appreciated, though also unnecessary. And every time Minseok had to walk by the bar, he didn’t even acknowledge Jongdae, speaking only to Chanyeol when he had to check up on things. Junmyeon was a little nicer, stopping by Jongdae’s side to ask how it was going, though Jongdae was pretty sure he just meant the job aspect. Junmyeon was probably glad something like this had finally happened.

Toward the end of the night, Jongin came over to warn him that Luhan and Minseok were getting ready to leave.

“I just got him his to-go box and Junmyeon’s comping the check right now. Minseok’s wrapping up some things in the office and then they’re heading out,” Jongin gave a full report as if he had been assigned to by a military commander.

“Thanks,” Jongdae told him with an appreciative nod, though not quite sure why he needed to be told all this, until he realized that his side of the bar was closest to the exit.

He kept an eye out so he knew when to look busy as they left, and when he saw Luhan headed in the bar’s general direction, he went to the sink to rinse out some glasses.

“I never got your name,” Luhan’s voice then said, and Jongdae looked over his shoulder to see that Luhan very much was directing his statement toward him.

Shit. Why was he talking to him? Why couldn’t he have just walked out of the restaurant and left him alone in peace.

Jongdae cleared his throat and walked over to him, “Jongdae,” he said. “Did you need something else?”

Also, why wasn’t Minseok with him? Why was he over at the bar alone? Why was Chanyeol glancing toward them with panic all of a sudden?

“Jongdae,” Luhan said to himself. “No, I just um… Minseok literally introduced me to every single person he works with except you.”

“Oh, well I got you your lemonade so he probably thought we had already been introduced,” Jongdae reasoned, forcing a small smile.

Luhan looked at him, as if he somehow knew better, and Jongdae began to get a little uncomfortable.

“It just never occurred to me,” Luhan said, and the small smile on his face seemed to almost be self-deprecating. “I always thought he was picking up people at bars here and there, but it makes so much more sense that it was someone he was working with. That would be more his speed..”

Jongdae was sure his tanned face was now pale as he lost his smile, and he had no real words to say back to this man in front of him.

“I’m so sorry,” Jongdae said, not sure what else he could possibly say. He wanted to disappear from this situation. Please let him disappear.

“No, don’t be,” Luhan said, the smile now a bit warm, and his eyes were stupidly bright as he looked at him. “Thank you for being there for him. I hate that I can’t be. Thank you for making him happy.”

Jongdae really had no words then, and he was spared having to come up with any when Minseok hustled over upon seeing them speaking.

“Are you ready?” Minseok asked, his expression unsure as he looked between them.

“Yeah, are you done?” Luhan asked, giving him a smile.

“All done. Let’s go,” Minseok said, taking his hand and leading him away from the bar without glancing back at all toward Jongdae.

His heart broke completely then, and how he was able to finish up and get into his car without crying was amazing to even him.

“No, I’ll drive,” Baekhyun said, grabbing his hand to pull him back out and guide him to the passenger side instead.

Jongdae kept it together though. Maybe he wouldn’t really need to cry. Maybe the numbness that took over him would be enough to get him through the next few days, weeks, years, however long this took to get over.

He took his shoes off once they were inside and started toward his room, but Baekhyun grabbed his arm and led him to the living room couch instead.

“Let me look for the soju,” Baekhyun told him. “I think we have beer too.”

“I’m fine,” Jongdae repeated. It was his new mantra. Nothing was going to tell him different.

Baekhyun came back from the kitchen with soju and beer and handed a bottle of soju to Jongdae, not bothering to pour him a shot.

And then there was a knock on the door. Baekhyun opened it and told the person that he had started him with soju, and it was Chanyeol’s voice that replied, “Sounds good.”

Then Chanyeol was placing Munchie Meals from Jack in the Box on the coffee table in front of Jongdae before taking him into a big bear hug.

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said to him, but he leaned into the hug because hugs from Chanyeol were always comforting.

“Oooh, curly fries,” Baekhyun said opening the boxes for him and waving one in front of Jongdae.

Jongdae didn’t think he was hungry, but he took a curly fry and put it in his mouth, chewing it then saying, “Minseok and I got Munchie Meals from Jack in the Box after we left the hospital that night that you OD’d.”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchanged glances, then Chanyeol took out his phone and said, “I’ll order pizza.”

“No, this is fine,” Jongdae said, though he made no motion to grab anything else from the boxes.

There was another knock on the door, and Chanyeol opened it this time and said, “I’m ordering pizza.”

“We brought beer so that’s perfect.” It was Jongin’s voice. And Jongdae found out that “we” meant him and Kyungsoo, who came over to give him a hug.

“You guys don’t have to be here,” Jongdae said, now feeling confused by all this activity.

“Yes we do,” Kyungsoo told him, giving him one more squeeze before letting go and sitting on the floor in front of him, rubbing his knee.

“Why are Munchie Meals so good though?” Baekhyun said, still picking at the curly fries. “Here, everyone eat. Jongdae’s having pizza instead.”

“I’m starving,” Jongin said as he grabbed one of the tacos.

“Okay, pizza’s ordered,” Chanyeol said, reaching over the table to grab fries. “I got two large pepperoni and a meat lover’s.”

“Sounds perfect,” Jongin nodded.

There was another knock on the door.

“It’s probably Sehun,” Jongin said, going over to open it.

“You invited Sehun?” Jongdae asked no one in particular, feeling very overwhelmed.

“Here, eat another fry while you wait for your pizza,” Baekhyun said, feeding him another curly fry.

“I brought a can of Pringles,” Sehun said, “It was the only thing I had in my car.”

“What kind?” Jongin asked as he closed the door.

“Ranch.”

“That’s the best one.”

Jongdae was handed a can of Pringles by Jongin, and Jongdae wanted to ask why all these people were in his home when all he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and disappear, but instead he opened the Pringles and started eating them.

“We need to start Operation Find Jongdae A Good Catch,” Baekhyun stated.

“I think he needs to get over this first,” Chanyeol pointed out as he grabbed one of the other tacos in the box.

“Is anyone going to eat these burgers?” Jongin asked.

“Go for it,” Chanyeol told him.

Jongin and Sehun grabbed the burgers and Jongdae looked around at all the people gathered, still wondering why they were there.

“Jongdae, how do we help you get over this so we can start the operation to find you a good catch?” Baekhyun asked.

“Don’t be insensitive,” Kyungsoo said with a glare toward Baekhyun. “Jongdae can take as long as he wants to deal with this.”

He’d like to start now. In his bed. Alone.

“He never deserved you anyway,” Chanyeol said, sitting beside him and rubbing his arm. “You were way too good for Minseok.”

“He’s not even a good manager,” Sehun said. “Junmyeon is in a different league of manager than he is.”

“Yeah, but Minseok’s the cool manager,” Jongin pointed out.

“No good things about Minseok,” Baekhyun chided Jongin. “Shush.”

“He’s a really good manager,” Jongdae said, pouting slightly. How was he even going to work with him after this? How was he even going to talk to him? What did any of this mean? Was he supposed to act like everything was normal at work tomorrow and then expect things to go back to normal once Luhan left again?

“He is,” Kyungsoo agreed, rubbing his knee again.

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Jongdae said looking at Baekhyun. “Why are you bashing him?”

“Oh, are we not hating him right now?” Baekhyun asked. “How are you feeling about Minseok right now?”

“Why would I hate him?” Jongdae asked. “He made it clear from the beginning what we were doing. I’m the one that messed up here.”

“No, you’re not going to blame yourself,” Chanyeol declared.

“This isn’t your fault,” Baekhyun agreed.

“But it is my fault,” Jongdae argued. “This was inevitable. I should have seen this coming.”

“Luhan has literally never stepped foot in Barry’s the entire time I’ve worked there,” Chanyeol stated. “There was no way to see this coming.”

“He was so excited to see him,” Jongdae said, remembering the scene too well as he gripped the can of Pringles against his chest.

“No no no,” Baekhyun said, “Don’t do that to yourself.”

“I just keep thinking about the way he lit up when he saw him and how excited he was to introduce him to everyone and show him off. He’s never even been a tenth of that excited to see me. I mean that makes sense. I’m not his husband. But I would have taken a tenth.”

“This is so bad,” Baekhyun said to Chanyeol.

“Stop making it worse,” Chanyeol hissed at Baekhyun, and then he rubbed Jongdae’s back and said, “You don’t deserve a tenth. You deserve the full excitement. And the person who’s going to do that is out there waiting for you somewhere.”

“Maybe one of your regulars,” Baekhyun said.

“Do you ever shut up?” Kyungsoo asked Baekhyun.

“This isn’t about you,” Jongin said, throwing a fry at Baekhyun.

Luckily the pizza showed up then, and Sehun got up to get it, bringing it to the coffee table and putting a piece of the pepperoni on a paper plate before handing it to Jongdae.

Jongdae thanked him softly and stared at the pizza, not in the mood to eat it, but he took a small nibble anyway.

“So if you don’t hate him right now,” Baekhyun treaded as he ate his slice, “Do you think you guys are going to keep your thing going then?”

“How can I keep it going?” Jongdae asked him, feeling pain spike through his chest at the idea that it was all over.

Right at this very second, he was supposed to be in a hotel room with Minseok, getting lost in his kisses and touches as they made each other laugh and forget all about the things in life they didn’t want to think about. Instead he was surrounded by his friends, and none of them could understand what he was feeling right now because none of them would have been stupid enough to get themselves into this kind of situation. And right now Minseok was probably with Luhan, in their bed, giving him kisses instead and showing him how much he missed him. And all those thoughts finally did Jongdae in as his chest started to heave.

“Why did you ask him that?” Chanyeol said throwing a napkin at Baekhyun with a glare.

“I’m sorry. I take it back, Dae,” Baekhyun said, discarding his pizza on the table so he could put his arm around Jongdae.

The tears started falling, and as much as he hadn’t wanted to cry at work, he didn’t really want to cry in front of all these people either.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” Chanyeol said, taking the pizza and Pringles out of his hands.

This was so stupid. He knew it was stupid. Minseok wasn’t his. Minseok had never been his. It was his fault for holding onto it longer than he should have. Why had he been so stupid?

“Maybe we should get you to your room,” Kyungsoo said, looking up at him with concern.

“Why did he want me if he wasn’t going to want me?” Jongdae said as more tears fell. And he knew the answer to his own pathetic question. He had never wanted him. He had just wanted to use him. Jongdae had liked the attention so much that he didn’t bother to really think about what it meant.

“Here,” Chanyeol said taking his hand to pull him up. “Let’s get you in your bed.”

Jongdae didn’t think he could get up right then as he dropped his head onto his knees to cry some more, and he felt two hands rub his back as one rubbed his calf.

He may have been grateful then that no one bothered to say anything, and no matter how embarrassing it was, there was something comforting about being surrounded by people who understood that he needed to just cry.

When he paused long enough, he did let Chanyeol help him up and walk him to his room where Jongdae got out of his jeans and shirt and crawled into his bed, pulling his comforter over himself as he started crying again.

“I’ll stay with him,” he heard Chanyeol say.

There were no sounds of protest, and Baekhyun came over to Jongdae and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“I love you. Come to my room if you need to.”

Jongdae appreciated the sentiment, but couldn’t say so as he kept crying.

At some point, much later after many voices and much movement could be heard from the living room, he heard Chanyeol come back in and turn off the light before getting into Jongdae’s bed with him.

“You don’t have to stay,” Jongdae said a bit weakly.

“You can’t make me leave,” Chanyeol told him. “Just cry and rest all you need to.”

“I deserve this for being stupid about the whole thing.”

“Don’t say that,” Chanyeol said, brushing his fingers through Jongdae’s hair. “You don’t deserve this. He’s stupid for not realizing you were more than just what he wanted you to be. Don’t blame yourself, okay?”

Jongdae couldn’t promise that. He knew that he should have ended this the moment he started having feelings for Minseok. Seeing that Minseok very much had those feelings for his husband confirmed it. Why didn’t he just kept it casual? Why didn’t he hook up with him without catching feelings? Why couldn’t Jongdae figure anything out when it came to being with other people? He just couldn’t get it right. He either couldn’t get anyone to be interested in him, or when he did, he couldn’t make it work the way it was supposed to. He really was going to be forever alone, and he cried himself to sleep thinking about his horrible fate.


	55. Fish & Chips

Kyungsoo had managed to switch out for another morning shift so he could hit up an open mic night at a place that Kris swore would get him in front of the right people.

“Again, I need to point out that this didn’t work out for you,” Kyungsoo said as he sat at a table with Kris while waiting for his turn to sing.

They had decided to get beers and split fish and chips, but Kyungsoo was too nervous to really help out. He told Kris he’d finish the rest after.

“And again, I need to point out that I’m not you. You’ve got what they’re looking for. I know this.”

Kyungsoo thought Kris was a little crazy and had a little too much blind faith in him, but he needed the ego boost to help him through the night.

“Next up, Kyungsoo Do? Did I say that right?” The guy at the mic said.

Kyungsoo nodded and got up, grabbing his guitar and saying his name again so people heard how it really was supposed to sound.

He had debated starting with a cover, and then going into the song that Chanyeol had written, but tonight he was feeling like getting all his emotions out at the beginning. He started strumming and singing the opening lines to “Tell Me What Is Love” and tried to not let too many of his thoughts interfere with the perfect delivery he was aiming for.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Chanyeol. He couldn’t stop blaming himself. He couldn’t stop being threatened by Baekhyun. He couldn’t stop wishing he could just get caught up in Kris instead. There were so many things he couldn’t stop doing that was starting to drive him insane.

When he finished the song, the patrons clapped for him, a bit louder and with more interest than they had the acts that had gone before him. It made him wish Chanyeol was there so he could see how good his song went over with people.

He did his Rihanna cover, the one that had first caught Chanyeol’s attention, and he realized that his entire set was based on the stupid tall giant bartender.

He missed him so much.

Spending time inadvertently with him at Jongdae’s place had just reinforced that. Watching how he hugged Jongdae and tried to soothe him with words and pizza, had reminded Kyungsoo about everything he really loved about Chanyeol: his gentleness, his humanity, his belief in those he cared about. When Chanyeol had offered to stay the night with Jongdae, Kyungsoo had wanted to hug Chanyeol, knowing that he hadn’t even thought of any awkwardness with Baekhyun at the act of staying. All he had been thinking about was that Jongdae needed him.

But Kyungsoo needed him too.

He did another song from his demo, another song that Chanyeol had poured his heart into, and Kyungsoo had to try really hard to not let all his emotions out at once so he could make it through the entire short set in one emotional piece.

It was as he thanked the crowd that he spotted him out of the corner of his eye. He hadn’t taken as good of a look at the crowd past the few several tables, but in the back corner, arms crossed and with a baseball cap on, there he was, watching him, and ducking his head when he realized he had been caught.

Kyungsoo had been sure he was working that night, but maybe he hadn’t had a full shift, or maybe he had been cut early for the evening. He wouldn’t find out the reason right then because Kris was waving him over emphatically, and Kyungsoo noticed another guy had joined them at their table.

He walked over, glancing over his shoulder to see if Chanyeol was still in his corner, but somehow he had disappeared all of a sudden. Had he made him up?

Kris introduced him to the guy at the table, whose hand Kyungsoo shook, barely catching his name before Kris started explaining that he was a producer, and when Kris started rattling off the lists of artists he had produced for, Kyungsoo’s mind finally drifted from Chanyeol to this guy and paid closer attention.

“Your voice,” the producer said. “How’d you even get that voice?”

“Lots of time in choir back in school,” Kyungsoo said.

“It’s your tone, man,” the guy explained, “But you have range with your tone, which a lot of people with your tone don’t. It’s sick. Kris was telling me the songs on your SoundCloud are unreal.”

“I can send you the link if you like,” Kyungsoo told him.

“I already did,” Kris let him know.

“You’re gonna be a tough sell,” the producer continued. “But your tone, your look, everything fits urban, so I can work with that. Do you have a YouTube channel?”

“I do, but I’ve been busy and haven’t updated it in a long time,” Kyungsoo admitted, cursing his recent distractions again.

“Start updating it,” the guy said pointing at him, and he appeared to be ready to count off a list of things he wanted him to do. “If I were you, I’d go the mix tape route. I’ll listen to what you’ve already got, but I can help you pull a mix tape together, and I can get you some features to get it promoted. You start promoting that shit now on your YouTube. Tell people something’s coming, you got something dropping. Give them snippets here and there. Then we release that shit underground and let the record labels fight each other over you. That’ll give you the leverage to sign and get their money but keep doing things your way.”

“That’s exactly what I want,” Kyungsoo said blinking, not believing he was having this conversation with someone who seemed able to make it possible.

“Like I said, the labels aren’t going to be interested in you right now. Your talent doesn’t matter to them. Only your marketability. How many Asian kids you see taking over that Billboard chart?”

“None really.”

“The urban market’s your only shot at this. You’re too ethnic for pop, but you got a voice the urban market will appreciate.”

“I’m ready,” Kyungsoo said.

“Also,” Kris added, “I’m available for this mixtape. I have a good flow. Just saying.”

The producer laughed, but he nodded and pat Kris on the shoulder, “My boy does have a nice flow. We can work it in if you want him on a track.”

“I’ll have to think about that,” Kyungsoo teased with a smirk.

“The fame’s gotten to you already,” Kris said, shaking his head with a smile.

They drank some beers and talked some more, and by the time Kyungsoo was walking out of the place with Kris, he had the biggest smile on his face.

“If this actually pans out,” Kyungsoo said as they walked toward his car, “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.”

“That’s what liner notes and features are for,” Kris said, helping him get his guitar in the trunk. “Us struggling musicians gotta help each other out, right?”

Kyungsoo nodded and closed his trunk, then looked up at Kris, wondering if he could make it work. Kris believed in him just as much as Chanyeol did. They were both tall. There were a lot of similarities. Maybe enough for him to transfer his feelings over. Kyungsoo reached up, touching Kris’ face for a moment, and then letting his fingers slide to the back of his neck as he pushed up on this toes, Kris thankfully understanding the intent and leaning down in time for their lips to meet.

He did like kissing Kris. That was definitely not a problem for him.

“Liner notes were good with me, but I won’t say no to kisses,” Kris said with a smile once they had parted and Kyungsoo was back on flat footing.

“I felt like I owed you a better thank you,” Kyungsoo said, a bit shy now about it.

“You know I didn’t do this to try and get you to sleep with me, right?” Kris asked, his eyebrows furrowing a little. “I mean, truthfully, I’m too enamored with you to ever say no, but it’s not something I’m expecting from you.”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” Kyungsoo said, frowning a little.

“No, don’t worry about me. It’s more, I don’t want you to feel that way. But,” Kris lifted Kyungsoo’s chin up with his finger, “I do want you to like me.”

“I want to like you too,” he said, looking into his eyes. He did. He really did.

“But the other tall guy,” Kris said for him.

“I’m not over him yet,” Kyungsoo admitted. “I’m trying.” At least he was supposed to be trying. Or something.

“I can wait,” Kris said with a smile, leaning down to give him a soft kiss on the lips before taking a step back. “I’ll see you tomorrow for Trivia Night.”

“See you,” Kyungsoo said with a smile.

Kris turned to walk to his car and Kyungsoo got into his own, leaning his forehead against his steering wheel for a moment before starting his car and driving home.

Jongin wasn’t home yet, and Kyungsoo made himself some hot cocoa, needing something comforting to take him to bed that night while he tried to figure out what exactly was going through his head.

He sat in his bed and took a sip from his mug as he saw a text message from the producer guy.

_Holy shit these songs. That first song is unreal. Who wrote it? What producer are you working with? The other songs aren’t as strong, but they’ve got potential. We can tweak them a bit. And I’ve got about 30 songs we can pick from that your voice would destroy. Let’s do a phone meeting tomorrow._

Kyungsoo stared at that message and re-read it ten times before moving on to the next one. He wanted to tell Chanyeol. It was his first instinct. He had to tell Chanyeol about this and how much this guy loved his music. He read the text from Kris next.

_I got bombarded by texts. He loved your songs. You gotta make this happen. Don’t forget me when you’re winning Grammy’s._

Kyungsoo smiled at that and texted back “Who are you again?” before reading the next one from Jongin.

_Hanging out with Sehunnie tonight. Don’t wait up._

Since when had he started calling him Sehunnie? Kyungsoo looked disturbed by this, but then smirked and replied, “Wrap it up.”

He then texted back the producer to let him know what time he could talk and told him that he was looking forward to it.

And then he had no more messages to read so he stared at a blank screen as he finished his cocoa and set the empty mug down on his nightstand.

_Did you come see me tonight?_

He let his finger hover over the send button, not sure if he wanted to really know. Somehow it seemed that it would be easier if he wasn’t there and had just made it up.

He let out a deep sigh and closed out of the message, turning off his light and bundling himself up in his bed, thinking about his kiss with Kris. He said he was enamored with him. That had felt nice.

Out of habit, he grabbed his phone and pulled up his gallery, not realizing what he was doing until Chanyeol’s face stared back at him. Kyungsoo then knew exactly how Kris felt, and he shut off his phone and buried his face in his pillow, forcing himself to go to sleep.

The next day, Kyungsoo found himself in a much better and less thoughtful mood. He had his phone meeting with the producer to thank for that. The guy had sounded more excited about producing Kyungsoo’s mix tape than Kyungsoo had sounded, and that made him feel good about it. But he also let the guy know that he didn’t feel right about doing it all without the original producer of his songs.

So Kyungsoo went to work that night knowing a conversation had to be had.

He clocked out for his lunch break and went downstairs to the basement where Chanyeol was working the bar for the evening. Kyungsoo had never seen Kris in action before, and he couldn’t help but smile as he walked through and saw him reading out answers from the different teams, cracking witty jokes to accompany them and making the players laugh.

When he got to the bar, he took a seat at the far corner. Chanyeol, having spotted him well before then, finished giving Seulgi the drinks for her table and came over to him.

“Came to see your boyfriend?” Chanyeol asked, looking a bit hurt. “You have a better view from that side.”

“I came to talk to you.”

“You’ve never come down here to talk to me before, but conveniently you need to talk to me when Kris is here. Got it.”

“It’s coincidental.”

“Like going on open mic night dates with him is coincidental?”

“So you were there.”

Chanyeol looked away and shook his head before looking back at him, “What did you come down here to talk to me about?”

“Why were you there last night?” Kyungsoo’s focus had shifted. He realized now he couldn’t continue any other topic of conversation until he got to the bottom of this one.

“I had the night off. I didn’t have anything better to do,” Chanyeol shrugged.

“That doesn’t even make sense. How did you know I’d be there?”

“I called around.”

Kyungsoo raised his eyebrow, and Chanyeol looked annoyed with himself.

“You called around?”

“I’m pathetic okay? I missed hearing you sing, and I knew you were making the rounds. I’m allowed to miss you.”

Kyungsoo’s heart raced a bit. He knew that had to be the explanation, but he hadn’t wanted to think about it.

“So now that you know, you can go back to paying attention to the trivia guy,” Chanyeol said, rolling his eyes.

“There’s this producer,” Kyungsoo said, and he cleared his throat and suddenly felt nervous for some reason. “He was there last night, and he liked my set. And he listened to the songs we recorded and wants to work with me.”

Chanyeol looked surprised and his demeanor completely changed as he started asking questions, “Oh my God, this is it. Who is it? Is it anyone I’ve heard of? Who has he worked with? Is he tied to a label?”

Kyungsoo answered his questions as quick as he could to keep up, and Chanyeol’s eyes kept getting bigger and bigger with each answer.

“It’s your time,” Chanyeol said with a big smile. “I knew it. This is it.”

“It’s our time,” Kyungsoo then said, and Chanyeol’s eyes twitched, not understanding. “I told him that I wouldn’t do it if you weren’t involved. He wants to tweak the other two songs, so I figured you should help him with that. Since they’re your songs and your vision. He’s totally down to work with you. If you want.”

Chanyeol blinked a few times, losing his smile completely as he stared at Kyungsoo.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Chanyeol said, licking his lips. “This guy’s a legit producer. I would just be in the way.”

“This guy doesn’t know me. I need you. I said we’d do this together. You’re the producer I want with me on this journey.”

“I can’t believe you…,” Chanyeol looked down, and when he looked back up, he looked touched. “Thanks.”

Kyungsoo nodded and gave him a small smile.

“I’ll text you the details as I get them. I’m gonna go find some food before I have to clock back in.”

“That’s a good idea,” Chanyeol said, still looking unable to fully process what Kyungsoo had told him. Kyungsoo got up from the bar and started to walk, then stopped and looked back at Chanyeol.

“I miss you too,” Kyungsoo told him, and he walked away after Chanyeol’s face looked at him surprised again.

It felt right to tell him. Even that small interaction between them had felt more like normal than anything Kyungsoo had been trying to do with Kris. Chanyeol made Kyungsoo feel like him. That hadn’t changed, and Kyungsoo realized that it probably never would.


	56. Whoppers

Baekhyun hadn’t wanted to leave Jongdae home alone while he was going through this thing with Minseok, so the only times he had interacted with Yixing the past couple of days had either been at Barry’s or through text.

The space had given Baekhyun some time to think about what he really wanted out of his relationship with Yixing, and it had also given him the time to realize that just seeing Yixing at Barry’s and texting him wasn’t enough. He wanted more.

“Your thing with Minseok sort of put things in perspective for me,” Baekhyun explained to Jongdae as they had lunch at Burger King after checking the mail to find coupons for a buy one get one free Whopper meal.

“How so?” Jongdae asked as he squeezed ketchup all over his fries.

“Well, okay, in this scenario, I’m Minseok. Although a better looking, less dickish version.”

“Baek…”

“Okay, sorry. Anyway, Chanyeol is Luhan, and Yixing is you.”

“I’m honored,” Jongdae said with a tired smile.

“You should be. Because what I realized is why am I trying to hold onto Chanyeol when I have a whole Yixing that lights up every time he sees me? Like you did when you’d see Minseok.”

“Let’s do the rest of this exercise without the comparisons, okay?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Baekhyun said, and he ate a bite of his Whopper before continuing, “So I want to try things out with Yixing.”

“That’s really great,” Jongdae nodded. “I approve of this decision.”

“Yeah?” Baekhyun said, really wanting Jongdae to be okay with it. Somehow it made it feel more like the right decision if Jongdae approved. “I want him to understand that it’s not a rebound thing. Like I genuinely want to date him and be with him and have it be something that could really work out.”

“Well, you could see it this way,” Jongdae said, as he held a fry in his hand, “Chanyeol was technically your rebound. He broke up with you, and you dealt with it in a not great way, and then ended up in another less-specific relationship with him. So you’ve had your rebound, and now you’re ready to move on.”

“That makes so much sense,” Baekhyun said, nodding his head because that was exactly what had happened. And that also explained why his thing with Yixing hadn’t felt like a rebound. It had felt more concrete. He went on the first date with the intentions of being distracted, but found himself drawn in and very interested.

“You’re welcome,” Jongdae said, eating his fry.

“But we do have to find you a rebound,” Baekhyun pointed out. “Unless you’re planning on still doing this thing with him.”

“I’m not,” Jongdae confirmed with a sigh. “We’re supposed to talk before our shifts tonight. I’ve already decided that I’m going to tell him that I can’t do this anymore.”

“I’m so sorry,” Baekhyun said, feeling genuinely sad for Jongdae, but also feeling hopeful. There was definitely something better waiting for him. He was sure of it. “What made you know for sure?”

“Guilt,” Jongdae said, picking up his Whopper. “I keep thinking about how Luhan thanked me for being there for Minseok. Like, here’s this loving husband who is putting all this trust into a situation that can’t be easy for him. It sucks for him. And I can’t keep doing this knowing how nice he is and how much he loves Minseok. And I started thinking that Minseok was pretty shitty for doing that to someone who gives up so much for him. It just… I’m an outlier of a situation that I shouldn’t be in at all. So I’m taking myself out of it.”

“I’m really amazed by how strong and rational you’re being about this,” Baekhyun told him. “I know for a fact it’s not easy to let go of someone that makes you feel the way Minseok made you feel, and I definitely didn’t handle it this well.”

“Thanks,” Jongdae said. “I wish you didn’t understand, but selfishly I’m glad you do. It helps to talk to someone who’s been through it.”

“The forever alone club,” Baekhyun said with a fist pump. “We got this.”

“You have Yixing.”

“We don’t know yet if that’s going to work out. I’m still president of the F.A.C. until it does.”

“So I’ll be president by tomorrow morning. Got it.”

“Shush,” Baekhyun said with a laugh, and he was glad when Jongdae laughed with him. He had missed his best friend’s laugh these past couple of days.

That night, the entire time that Baekhyun was on his shift, all he could think about was seeing Yixing again, so when he popped up at his usual table, Baekhyun gave him a big hug, a bit longer than he usually would.

“Hi to you too,” Yixing said, rubbing his back and giving him a big, amused smile.

“I miss you,” Baekhyun said. “I can’t wait for life with Dae to return to normal so I can go back to spending nights at your place.”

“How is he doing?” Yixing asked, glancing toward the bar with a bit of concern.

“Better. It’s just, today’s rough, but I was thinking, I mean…” Baekhyun stopped talking because he could already tell that he wasn’t going to say what he wanted to say correctly.

“You were thinking?”

Baekhyun sighed and took a seat by him, glancing around to make sure no managers were around to see him do so.

“I like you,” Baekhyun told him.

“I like you too,” Yixing told him back.

“No, I mean. I like you in the way where you wouldn’t be a rebound. Like, I genuinely like you. At first, I wasn’t sure because of the pigeon date, but the more I got to know you, the more I liked… you. I guess the best way to explain it is that, I started dating you because I needed a distraction from Chanyeol, but now I don’t feel like I need to be distracted from Chanyeol because I’m so interested in you instead.”

“So you might finally be over your ex, and you want us to keep dating,” Yixing deciphered, “But I’m not a rebound.”

“Right,” Baekhyun said with a smile, glad he understood.

“I would like that too,” Yixing told him with his own smile back.

“Good,” Baekhyun said, relieved. “So, since I really miss you, but I need to be with Dae for another night to keep an eye on him, what if tonight you stay at my place instead?”

“Oh,” Yixing said, surprised by this request.

“We don’t have napkin holders,” Baekhyun warned him, and Yixing chuckled.

“Your place,” Yixing then said to himself and then nodded, “Okay. I’ll have to go home and pack a bag.”

“Of course,” Baekhyun said, feeling his heart soar by this turn of events. He was sure Yixing was going to freak out and change his mind once he saw his place, but still.

After that, his shift could not go by fast enough, and once he and Jongdae got home, he lost his best friend to his room, which made him pout, but also gave him the chance to run around and try and tidy up before Yixing got there.

While he waited, he realized he had a couple of voicemail messages that he hadn’t had a chance to check throughout the day, so he let them play. The first one was from his parents, checking in on him and asking him to call to make sure everything was fine. The second one was from his agent.

_Remember your last audition where you weren’t quite what they were looking for? The producer loved your audition and kept you in mind for another project. It’s a pilot. Basic premise: murder mystery, lead female character is former CIA but has a mysterious past and is now a private detective. He wants you for a hacker role, a young tech whiz that is one of her go-to’s for when she needs help solving a case. Yes he’s typecasting, but originally he had in mind a young, white male, so major victory. Also, he loved your hair. So your character is going to have dyed red hair, and if the show gets picked up, he’s envisioning it changing to different fun colors throughout the show. His words, not mine. Congrats, Baek. I had a good feeling about this. Let’s set up a meeting for tomorrow to go over everything and get some contracts in your hands. Lunch is on me.”_

He listened to the message again, this time his hands shaking as he held his phone. Was this real? Was this really happening?

There was a knock on the door, and Baekhyun barely registered it, then remembered that Yixing had been on his way. He rushed to the door to open it.

“I’m… oh, are you okay?” Yixing asked, taking him in.

“I just got a pilot.”

“What?” Yixing asked confused.

Baekhyun walked away from the door and started pacing in the living room.

“I just got a pilot,” he said again, his nerves attacking him as Yixing closed the door and looked very concerned.

“It’s going to be okay,” Yixing said, placing his bag on the dining table and walking over to him. “Whatever it is, I’ll help you through it.”

Baekhyun blinked at him, “No, a…” Baekhyun shook his head and put his phone on speaker, letting him hear the message for himself.

“Oh my God, you got a pilot,” Yixing said, finally understanding what he had meant. “Congrats!”

“Is this real?” Baekhyun asked him, as if he would have any insight into that.

“It sounded real. We need to celebrate.”

“I have to tell Jongdae, but I don’t want to wake him up.”

“You can wake him up in the morning with the news,” Yixing said smiling at him and taking his hand. “We can celebrate tonight.”

Baekhyun liked the way Yixing thought, and he looked down at their hands and back at him.

“My heart is going five million miles a minute right now,” Baekhyun told him, “But I will do my best to give you a small tour without freaking out about the fact that, oh my God, I got a pilot.”

“Oh my God, you got a pilot,” Yixing said again, giggling after he said it, which made Baekhyun giggle too.

It just didn’t seem real. But Yixing standing there in his living room was very real, so he led him around, showing him their small space and pointing out that the paper towels were not on the paper holder, and there were no napkin holders, and gasp, in the bathroom, the toilet paper sat on the sink.

“Are you ready to run out of here yet?” Baekhyun asked, as he sat on his bed and leaned back against his hands.

“I prepared myself for worse, so this isn’t too bad,” Yixing admitted, and Baekhyun pretended to be offended.

Yixing chuckled again and took him in before he walked over to him and ran his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair.

“I’m looking forward to seeing your hair red again,” Yixing admitted.

“And other fun colors apparently,” he said as he straightened up and put his hands on Yixing’s hips, leaning In to place a small kiss on his tummy through the fabric of his soft T-shirt.

“I can’t wait to see them all.”

“I’m kinda freaking out about it,” Baekhyun admitted, lifting up Yixing’s shirt so he could touch his lips to the actual skin of his stomach instead.

“It’s exciting,” Yixing said, continuing to run very calming fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. “And you’ve earned it. This is something you want, and me and Jongdae and everyone else aren’t going to let you go through it alone. We’ll all be together for this journey and keep you company while cheering you on.”

Baekhyun looked up at him and smiled, “You’ll have to come visit me on set if we have late shoots.”

“I’ve never been on a set. It’ll be fun,” Yixing told him, and Baekhyun rewarded that answer with another kiss and a swirl of his tongue around Yixing’s belly button, which made him shudder.

“Before we get too into our celebration,” Yixing said, removing his fingers from Baekhyun’s hair and taking a slow step back. “I need to go get my bag and set up my things. At home I know where all my emergency things are, so it helps if I set up…”

“Yeah, let’s make space. Is the nightstand okay? Do you need it nearby just in case?” Baekhyun asked, getting up from his bed to figure out what space he could move stuff from.

“The bathroom is fine,” Yixing said.

“Okay. Go get your bag, and I’ll clear you some space on the sink.”

Yixing smiled at him and leaned in to kiss his cheek before leaving the room, which made Baekhyun feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Baekhyun wished he had thought to really organize things instead of doing a quick clean before he came over, but he hadn’t anticipated asking Yixing to stay in the first place, so he had to do his best with his lack of preparation. He moved some of his things to the other side of the sink, leaving the side closest to the door open so his things would be the first thing he could grab if he needed to.

“I didn’t realize I was going to ask you to stay the night,” Baekhyun explained as Yixing came into the bathroom with a smaller bag and began taking syringes out of it. “Otherwise, I would have done a much better job of cleaning up and organizing.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Yixing told him with a smile, lining his things up in perfect order. “This gives me the chance to see how you normally live. It’s a way for me to get to know this other side of you more. I was expecting you to be messier honestly.”

“I hid a lot of stuff in the closet before you got here. Don’t go in there.”

Yixing laughed, and once he was done, he took Baekhyun’s hand to lead him back to the bed, giving him soft kisses as he helped Baekhyun take off his shirt, and then took off his own.

It felt comforting to have Yixing there with him, in his own space, everything in its place. As they kissed and undressed and made out, Baekhyun wondered how he could keep this happening forever. Even with the warnings, conversations, discussions, and research, that tiny flame of fear lived within him that inevitably, he would screw this up as well. So he knew that he had no choice but to be better. He had to stay on his meds, and he had to not party as much. He would be a more responsible person, and he would seek help the moment things started to slip. He knew he could do this.

And the more Yixing touched him in all the right places and said exactly the right things to him, the more Baekhyun knew that he could do this because he wanted Yixing. He looked right into Yixing’s eyes and dared himself to say what he wanted more than anything right now.

“I want you inside me so bad,” Baekhyun admitted, and bit his bottom lip, letting out a soft moan as Yixing’s hand stopped sliding over his ass.

“Oh,” Yixing said, looking at him as if unsure of how to reply.

“Have I ever even asked you your position preference?” Baekhyun then asked. “I like to bottom.”

“I only ever top,” Yixing said. “Just to be on the safe side.”

“Okay, that works,” Baekhyun said hopeful. “Wait, have you never bottomed?”

“I have,” Yixing said, shifting to get a little more comfortable for speaking instead of the making out they had been previously doing. “But it wasn’t the most exciting experience. Because we had to be very careful. So, it’s not the same thing.”

“That makes sense. So..” Baekhyun looked at him expectantly.

“I too would like that,” Yixing said, in such a proper way that the sexiness of the previous moment was replaced by cute awkwardness. “But… When was the last time you had sex with someone else?”

Baekhyun should have known it would come back to this. He tried to not take it personally and instead rationalized that it made sense. Yixing had to be careful.

“The night I ended up in the hospital.”

“So that was about a month ago?” Yixing attempted to calculate in his head. “So in another couple of months, why don’t we make an appointment for both of us to get tested? And then when we get our clean test results back, we can celebrate in that way.”

Baekhyun looked a bit confused by this and asked, “Why do you need to get tested? You told me you haven’t slept with anyone in a really long time.”

“Out of respect for you,” Yixing told him as he ran his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair again. “You deserve to be 100% sure as well that the person you’re having sex with is safe for you too.”

Baekhyun’s nose twitched and he pursed his lips tightly to the side, glad that it was dark enough in his room to hide the more subtle expressions of his face.

“I just got yelled at recently for not having respect for other people,” Baekhyun told him, and what the darkness hid on his face, it couldn’t hide in the shakiness of his voice. “I’ve never once volunteered to take a test to reassure someone they were safe being with me. It didn’t even occur to me to do that.”

“That’s because you have the privilege of thinking you’re invincible,” Yixing told him, and Baekhyun could hear the teasing smile in his voice. “I wasn’t born so lucky, so I have to be conscientious of these types of things at all times.”

“That’s nice of you to say,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head, “But that explains why you ask people to do it for you, not why you do it for other people. You do it because you respect people and think about other people and their well-being. I only think about myself. You’re selfless, and I’m selfish, and I need to learn to be more like you.”

“I’ve seen you be selfless. The way you care about Jongdae, the way you take care of your customers. You do little things that are selfless all the time. You have it in you, so sometimes just take a moment to think before you act.”

“That’s my biggest problem,” Baekhyun admitted.

“I know,” Yixing said with a small chuckle. “You didn’t even hesitate to go on a coffee date with me. And if you had thought about it, you probably wouldn’t have agreed to another date after the second one.”

“That’s for sure,” Baekhyun said, and he returned to running his hands up and down the sides of Yixing’s fit torso. “I do have a lot to learn from you. I would like to be more thoughtful and respectful of people.”

“And I would like to be more adventurous and less wound up,” Yixing said, giving him a soft kiss on the lips. “We’ll help each other out.”

“Deal,” Baekhyun said, returning the kiss with a bit more force, and just like that, they were back to making out instead of talking.

When Baekhyun fell asleep in Yixing’s arms later that night, he had a huge smile on his face, the pilot momentarily forgotten as he fantasized instead about Yixing spending the night more often, and organizing things so there was always a special easy-to-access place for Yixing’s things, and making sure to really clean out his closet, in case Yixing started leaving clothes at his place and needed to get them without being attacked. Baekhyun went to sleep that night feeling hopeful, happy, and not freaked out at all about a single thing.


	57. Ramen

Even though Jongdae had made a decision and knew what he wanted to say to Minseok, it didn’t make it easier to get out of the car and meet him in the alleyway so they could talk. He took a deep breath, looked at himself in the rearview mirror, steeled himself for the conversation, and got out.

“Let me know if you need anything, or if you need me to beat him up,” Baekhyun told him, patting him on the shoulder and squeezing it in support.

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said.

Baekhyun took off in the direction of the coffee shop to kill some time before he had to clock in and Jongdae made a left into the alley way, seeing Minseok already there, leaning against the brick wall and texting on his phone.

Jongdae took another deep breath and then before he knew it, he stood in front of him.

“Hey,” Minseok said, putting his phone away as he gave him his full attention.

“Hey,” Jongdae said back and he reached inside for some courage to quickly say what he needed to before he chickened out. “So I’ve been thinking about things, and I’ve decided that we need to end this.”

It hurt to say it, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

“I had a feeling,” Minseok said, looking a little annoyed as he rubbed the back of his head.

“It was fun,” Jongdae was quick to add. “I had fun. I don’t regret anything. I just… it’s just time.”

Minseok looked at him but didn’t say anything, and Jongdae wondered so many things, but he promised himself that he wouldn’t ask them. There were things he didn’t need to know the answers to. It was best to make this quick and painless and walk away without making it worse with truths that wouldn’t matter now.

“This is my fault,” Minseok then said after a moment.

“No, it was definitely my fault. I knew better than to fall for you, but I still did,” Jongdae shrugged. It mattered nothing to admit what Minseok already knew. He wasn’t stupid.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Minseok insisted, “It was definitely my fault. I knew, and I let it happen. I should have ended it then, when I realized, but… I liked being with you. You made me feel like I wasn’t alone.”

“But you’re not alone,” Jongdae told him, his heart breaking more than he had hoped. “You have a husband that loves you a lot.” Jongdae shook his head and looked away. He hadn’t wanted to go down this road with him. It was supposed to be simple. He was supposed to have already walked away.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you that day,” Minseok said, and Jongdae looked back at him.

“It’s okay,” Jongdae waved off.

“It’s not okay. I was really surprised he was there, and I didn’t know how to react to you. So I just didn’t.”

“Honestly, the worst part was you calling Chanyeol the best bartender,” Jongdae said to try and lighten up a little. This was all getting too heavy for him.

“The worst part was seeing your reaction,” Minseok told him. “And knowing there was nothing I could do about it.”

“The worst part was your reaction to seeing him,” Jongdae then admitted, “The way you lit up when you saw him... You were so proud to show him off to everyone. He’s the only person that matters to you. I didn’t exist in your world once he was in front of you. It’s how it should be.”

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“It was inevitable,” Jongdae said with a shrug. “No, actually, the worst part was him thanking me for being there for you. I think that’s when I felt the shittiest.”

Minseok closed his eyes and shook his head at himself, and then looked at Jongdae again.

“I’m so sorry,” Minseok told him. “You shouldn’t have felt that way. You did nothing wrong here. I’m the one that didn’t handle this right.”

“Yes you did. You always reminded me of my place when you had to,” Jongdae stated.

“Don’t say it like that…”

“How else should I say it? You never took me on dates. You never bought me gifts or even a coffee. You treated me exactly as who I was. Just a guy to hook up with. You did a good job of following your rules.”

“But you weren’t…” Minseok shook his head, and bit his lip for a moment, as if needing to compose himself. “It wasn’t easy to follow the rules. There were many times that I wanted to reciprocate what you were giving me, and I always had to pause and remind myself that I couldn’t. I had to force myself to not emotionally cheat on my husband with you because I liked you too much and knew that if I didn’t stop myself, I would get in too deep.”

Jongdae didn’t need to hear that. It felt like they had been so close to something more. But they couldn’t be. So he needed to not think about it.

“There were times that you acted more invested than you should have,” Jongdae told him. “Those times were confusing.”

“I know. I’m sorry. It’s because I did care, and I did want to be there for you. You weren’t just a hook up for me. You were someone that I really liked. But I wasn’t good at this. I didn’t know how to do this. When Luhan and I made this arrangement, I didn’t think I’d actually follow through on it. But when you started working here, I…” Minseok let out a small frustrated breath. “I thought you were so good looking. And you caught my interest. And the more I got to know you and kept running into you at parties, the more I wanted… you.”

That was the worst thing he could have told him. Only because he had never heard those words come out of anyone’s mouth before in relation to him. It wasn’t fair. Minseok was meant to be his. He just hadn’t met him in time.

“Please don’t tell me things like that,” Jongdae said. He had lost his resolve and his voice had gotten weaker.

“I’m sorry,” Minseok said. “And I’m sorry I couldn’t figure out the right way to do this. You deserved a lot better than what I gave you.”

“I liked everything you gave me.”

“But you deserved more.”

“I deserved nothing. You’re a married man. I never should have hooked up with you in the first place. Open relationship or not.”

Minseok shook his head and a small bit of annoyance mixed in with the apologetic look on his face.

“Can we still be friends?” Minseok asked.

“That’s the funniest part,” Jongdae said, “We were never really friends were we?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Maybe we should just be co-workers.”

Minseok nodded and ran his fingers through his hair, looking at Jongdae.

“I’m really sorry,” Minseok then said again. “For everything. But thank you. I’ll never forget any of it. You’re… incredible, Jongdae. I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” Jongdae said.

It didn’t matter that they would see each other four to five days a week. It would never feel the same anyway. He would really miss Minseok and those fun moments of being in their own little bubble where Jongdae could pretend he was his.

To save some face, Jongdae walked away from the situation first, coming across Baekhyun who was returning with two coffees as if sensing Jongdae would need one.

“Should I have gotten a third one to throw in his face?” Baekhyun asked.

“No. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s over. That’s it.”

“I’m so sorry,” Baekhyun said, giving him a big hug. “I’m going to find you someone better.”

“Please don’t. As much as a date with Jongin was fun, I really prefer to create my own humiliations.”

Baekhyun pouted but nodded in understanding and hugged him again.

They both clocked in and went to start their shifts, Jongdae appreciating the hug he received moments later from Chanyeol as well after he told him the news.

“It’ll be good inspiration for your new songs,” Chanyeol told him after patting him on the back and letting him go.

“Yeah, I should probably work on that,” Jongdae mused. He certainly would have the time for it now.

“Speaking of, Kyungsoo got a hook up with this big time producer who wants to produce a mixtape for him. And guess who he asked to be a part of it?”

“The trivia guy?”

“I hate you,” Chanyeol said, shoving his arm.

“So, you guys are talking again then?” Jongdae asked, hopeful as he looked at the orders that were coming in.

“Not exactly. I think he told me out of courtesy or something. Part of me still thinks he told me just so he had an excuse to come down to the basement and say hi to trivia douche.”

“Wow, he’s been downgraded to trivia douche now.”

“I hate that guy,” Chanyeol said, looking over Jongdae’s shoulder at the screen and saying, “I’ll get the beers.”

Jongdae focused on mixing some drinks, grateful to have his mind off things a bit, except that the first moment Minseok walked by to do his rounds, Jongdae’s chest hurt again and he began to wonder how he was going to get through this evening without letting his emotions surface.

“How are you holding up?” Baekhyun asked at some point, checking in on him as he counted his cash from the table that had just left.

“I’m good,” Jongdae lied.

“Maybe we can hit up a bar tonight so you can drink your sorrows away.”

“I’m one thousand percent sure that after this shift, I want to go home and go straight to sleep.”

“That’s no way to deal with anything,” Baekhyun chided him. “You have to drink a lot and curse his name.”

“I’m not going to curse his name. We ended on good terms. Or, I ended it on good terms.”

“You’re so bad at break ups.”

“This wasn’t a break up,” Jongdae said, but Baekhyun was already giggling to himself, knowing he was being ridiculous. “Why are you like this?” Jongdae whined, pretending to punch his arm as Baekhyun giggled more.

“Gaga said I was born this way,” Baekhyun stated, and then he headed to the computer.

The visit had lightened his mood, until Minseok headed to the bar to check on things. He was courteous enough to check in with Chanyeol instead of Jongdae.

“One of us has to go on break soon,” Chanyeol relayed to Jongdae after Minseok had left the bar area.

“You go. Chances are he won’t really come back around in the time you’re gone.”

“Good strategy,” Chanyeol nodded.

Jongdae took over the whole bar and was kept too busy to think about his woes. So much so that Chanyeol’s return surprised him.

He clocked out and considered his lunch options as he walked outside.

“Hey, mind if I come with?” Kyungsoo said, coming out behind him.

“Not at all. I was just trying to think of where I wanted to go and sulk.”

“Let’s go to that ramen place on the other corner.”

Jongdae thought that sounded good, and they walked across the street, neither saying anything to the other until they were inside and seated.

“I saw you and Minseok talking in the alley when I came in,” Kyungsoo spilled. “Are you guys okay?”

“I ended it,” Jongdae confirmed for him.

“I’m so sorry,” Kyungsoo said, his concerned expression genuine. “It’s never hard to let go.”

“No. It isn’t,” Jongdae agreed. “I wanted it to be simple. Just end it and walk away. But of course he wanted to say his thoughts, and how hard it was for him to hold himself back from reciprocating my feelings, and how he wanted me and thought I was attractive the moment he saw me, and now I’m a mess on the inside. But I’m trying to keep it together to make it through this shift.”

“You’re a really strong person,” Kyungsoo nodded. “I wouldn’t be holding up as well as you are.”

“It’s my mess. It’s my own fault. No point in crying over it.”

“That’s not true.”

“No, it is,” Jongdae nodded. “My parents knew about it. Among the five million other things I’ve done to disappoint them, they unfortunately had to find out about this one too.”

“How did they find out?” Kyungsoo asked, looking mortified for him.

“Baekhyun’s loud mouth. How else? My parents wanted me to come home for dinner one night, complaining they hadn’t seen me in too long, and we decided a home-cooked meal sounded good, so we went. I mostly invited Baekhyun to keep me sane, but he was trying to make a point about how well I was doing and how I was even seeing someone, and… yeah, it all came tumbling out.”

“Someone should find a way to shut him up.”

Jongdae snorted, but continued.

“Anyway, my mom made sure to really drive home the point that no matter what, I was never going to get picked over the husband. Like she was so adamant about this. ‘He’s never going to pick you over his husband.’ ‘You’re going to get hurt.’ And I told her that I knew. Obviously he wasn’t going to pick me. And I was fine with that. And she was so upset about it. At the time, I wondered if she knew from experience.”

“Did she?”

“I didn’t ask her,” Jongdae shrugged, digging into the ramen that had been brought out to their table. “But she’ll be happy to hear now that it’s over. And I’ll have to do my best to make it look like I didn’t get hurt so she won’t brag about how she told me so.”

“I don’t know your mom, but I doubt she’d do that,” Kyungsoo said, looking at Jongdae with thought.

“No. It’ll be worse. I’ll try and hide it. She’ll see through it. And she’ll hug me and say she’s sorry, which will be her way of saying ‘I told you so’.”

“And your dad?”

“He’ll say ‘She told you so’,” Jongdae confirmed, and both he and Kyungsoo chuckled.

“It doesn’t matter what your parents say, you know?” Kyungsoo told him. “It’s your life. It was your adventure. And it seemed for the most part like it was a really good one, yeah?”

Jongdae appreciated the words and nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, giving Kyungsoo a soft smile.

They finished up their ramen and rushed back to work just in time to clock in, and Jongdae felt better, especially after Chanyeol let him know that Minseok had come back through while he was gone, so he shouldn’t see him again until probably the end of the shift.

Jongdae focused instead on making some drinks for Seulgi’s table, placing them on a tray for her just as she came to get them.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile. “You okay?”

“Oh God,” Jongdae said letting out a frustrated sigh. “How did everyone find out?”

“Not everyone. Just those of us who knew in the first place.”

“I didn’t even know you knew in the first place.”

“The server world is a small one.”

“I’m going to kill Baekhyun.”

Seulgi shrugged with a small smile and cocked her head, “Are you okay?” She asked again.

“I’m fine,” Jongdae said, giving her a smile.

“You know what would make you feel better? Coming to my party tomorrow night.”

Jongdae wasn’t sure about that, and he shook his head.

“I think I’m going to be spending a lot of time home this week.”

“No. Why? My roommate and I are doing a belated birthday party for her now that she’s back in town, so we really need people to come.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“No, you won’t. Just come okay? It’ll be fun, and it’ll take your mind off things.”

“I’ll think about it,” Jongdae said again, nudging her tray in her direction. She grabbed it and gave him a look and mouthed to him that he better be there.

Jongdae shook his head at her and returned to work, which flew after that, and before long he was almost done with his closing duties. He felt relief that he was mere moments away from being in his bed and under his comforter, which he planned to stay under until all his problems went away.

Jongdae and Chanyeol were done by the time Minseok came to check in and he thanked them both for doing a great job that night and headed toward the kitchen.

“I’m done with my side work. We can go,” Baekhyun said as he checked his pockets for his car keys. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to a bar?”

“Home.”

“Okay, well that works out because I invited Yixing over.”

“What?” Jongdae said surprised.

“I know. It’s the first time I’ve invited him over, so we have to get home so I can pick up and pretend we’re not animals.”

“There’s not enough time for you to fix things up to not give off that impression,” Jongdae teased him.

“You’re walking home now. Bye,” Baekhyun said, heading to clock out. Jongdae laughed, walking with Chanyeol to do the same.

Part of him thought he should stay up and help Baekhyun out in his picking up efforts, but he was exhausted, mentally and physically, so he headed straight to his room, got rid of his jeans and shirt, and crawled into bed, losing himself in the welcome comfort of his blankets.

And then he got a text, and without meaning to, he glanced at it and saw that it was from Minseok.

_I’m an asshole for never even bringing you a coffee. Check your email. Thank you for letting me have you for a little while. I’ll never forget you or everything we shared. Take care of yourself._

Jongdae checked his email and found a $25 Starbucks gift card waiting for him. It hurt, but it also put a smile on his face. Everything about this was so conflicting. He texted Minseok back.

_You didn’t have to, but I’ll take it. Thank you. Take care too._

He shoved his phone under his side pillow and refused to look again, forcing himself to bed instead.

In the morning, Jongdae couldn’t quite describe his mood. He felt fine enough to go through the motions of showering, brushing his teeth, and heading to the kitchen to find breakfast. His mind was a little lost however, and he forgot to put the coffee in the coffee maker before brewing his cup of coffee. He debated going back to bed since it had been a mistake to leave it.

“You’re up,” Baekhyun said. He was too happy and too excited, and Jongdae remembered that Yixing had spent the night. A small pang went through his heart.

“Did Yixing call the health inspectors yet?”

Baekhyun laughed and took Jongdae’s hand, forcing him to turn toward him and face him.

“Guess what?” Baekhyun said.

“What?” Jongdae played along.

“I got a pilot.”

Jongdae blinked, and it took a moment for it to register in his mind before he was yelling.

“Oh my God, you got a pilot?!”

“I got a pilot!”

“Oh my God!”

“I know!”

They jumped up and down together in the kitchen and then Jongdae hugged him tight, feeling nothing but pride now swell up in his chest. While they made breakfast together, Baekhyun told him all about how he found out, and why he had gotten the part, and what kind of show it was.

“It’s really happening,” Jongdae said, smiling at him, this time brewing coffee correctly and pouring it out into three mugs. “This is it.”

“As long as it gets picked up.”

“It will,” Jongdae assured him. “You can sell anything. Just don’t forget me when you’re accepting your Emmy.”

“Only if you don’t forget me when you’re accepting your Grammy.”

Jongdae said it was a deal, but all through breakfast, while he ate quietly and watched Baekhyun talk Yixing’s ear off about things while Yixing listened to him very interested, all Jongdae could think about was that he was never going to win a Grammy.

In order to win one, he had to have a song or an album, and while Kyungsoo was on his way there and taking Chanyeol with him, Jongdae was nowhere, dead in the water, the result of having spent the last however-long time focused on a married man he couldn’t have instead of on the career that he wanted.

Maybe his parents had been right. Maybe he didn’t have the personality and drive for the career he wanted. Maybe he was better suited to go back to school and get a nursing degree and follow in their footsteps instead. He did like helping people. And if he wanted to sing, he could always start going back to his parents’ church and do it there. Did it really matter where he was singing as long as he was doing it?

His life could be so simple. He could still live with Baekhyun while he went back to school, and his parents would pay for his rent under those circumstances, so he wouldn’t have to worry about anything. And maybe he’d meet a nice person that thought he was good looking and wanted to be with him, and they could be together and start a family. Maybe that person could be a nurse as well. Maybe he would literally be his parents.

“…but that was the time that we decided to play naked Twister and… Dae? Dae? Are you okay?”

Jongdae couldn’t reply to Baekhyun because he was having an internal crisis. He was going to be his parents. That was his fate. He couldn’t handle getting caught up and still making his dreams come true. Baekhyun made his dreams come true while carrying a ton of baggage and going from one mess to the next because he was born to be a star. Kyungsoo navigated his breakup with Chanyeol so that he was still able to get a big time producer to work with him because music was the career meant for him. Jongdae hadn’t even seen Chanyeol’s studio in… he couldn’t even remember.

“I’m going to be my parents,” he said, staring straight ahead at nothing at all.

“No, you’re not,” Baekhyun said. “Why would you say that? I mean, they’re nice. I like your parents. But why are you saying that?”

“I haven’t done anything in the past year to make my dreams come true. I fought with my parents about wanting to be a singer instead of following in their footsteps, and here I am, proving them right. I wasn’t cut out for the entertainment industry. I don’t even have half the drive or passion that you or Kyungsoo do.”

“Okay, I don’t know where this is coming from,” Baekhyun said, pointing at him with his fork, “But you are the most talented singer I have ever heard, and you are meant to be famous so everyone can hear your voice.”

“I should go to nursing school,” Jongdae said, not paying much attention to Baekhyun. “I can sing in church. Which is probably where I’ll meet my future wife or husband. And she or he will probably also be a nurse. And we’ll get married, and have two sons, and I will officially be my parents.”

“Now I see why you had to stay the night,” Yixing said to Baekhyun, and Baekhyun nodded at him then looked back at Jongdae.

“Dae, you have a lot going on in your head right now. You just need a few days to deal with this Minseok thing and then you’ll return to normal.”

“That’s what I’m doing. I’m returning to normal. Normal parents life.”

This now made sense to Jongdae. He could see his future clearly. And it was boring, but he’d make it his.

“Why two sons?” Yixing asked him.

“Because my parents had two sons,” Jongdae explained.

“Are you the oldest or youngest?”

“Youngest.”

“And what does your brother do?” Yixing asked as he put down his fork and focused on his coffee.

“He’s an actual doctor. He went above and beyond. As older brothers do,” Jongdae stated. “He’s married with a son and a daughter and a dog.”

“That’s so true,” Baekhyun agreed. “My older brother also went above and beyond. He’s an accountant and married with a son and a daughter and a dog.”

“I’m an only child,” Yixing said, “So I had to go above and beyond, which is why I’m an engineer. And one day I’ll get married and have a son and a daughter, but not a dog.”

“Why not a dog?” Baekhyun asked him with a small pout. “I’ve always wanted a dog.”

“You are a dog,” Jongdae pointed out. “I should drop you off at the kennel.”

Baekhyun pretended to wag his tail as he wiggled in his chair and gave a little “woof,” which made Jongdae shake his head. But then he looked back at Yixing, who was staring at Baekhyun like he was an actual puppy that he had completely fallen in love with and wanted to take home.

“Oh,” Yixing said, realizing that Jongdae was still waiting for an answer. “I like dogs, but I have to be careful, and with dogs that’s difficult. Even when they’re happy and having fun, they might accidentally get too excited and scratch or bite you.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said nodding, “That makes sense.”

“That kinda sucks,” Jongdae said. “To have your life be so limited.”

“You learn to adapt,” Yixing told him with a smile. “Like if you decided to go be a nurse and follow your parents’ footsteps. Sure it sounds boring now, but you’d adapt, and as you went through it, you’d find happiness in your life, either through your work or in other ways.”

“But we don’t want him to be a nurse,” Baekhyun said.

“By the same token,” Yixing said, indicating to Baekhyun he hadn’t quite finished, “If you don’t take the easy way out, and you don’t decide to be a nurse, and you keep forging your own path and stay true to your passion, you will also adapt. It doesn’t matter which road you take, you will settle into whatever path you walk, so it’s best to pick the one you really want.”

This made sense to Jongdae, and he nodded, but then he shook his head, and then he nodded again. He had a lot to figure out.

They finished up breakfast, and Yixing left to go to work. Jongdae headed back to his room, thinking that lying in bed until he had to get ready for his shift that night seemed like a fine plan.

“Are you going to sleep again?” Baekhyun asked him as he followed him.

“I’m tired still.”

“I don’t like that answer, but okay. I have to go meet up with my agent in a bit for lunch, but when I get back, you better be watching TV or playing video games. And you better not be looking up nursing schools.”

“Baek, what do you care if I go to nursing school or not?” Jongdae asked him, pulling back the covers as he fixed his pillow. “I wouldn’t move out. We’d still be roommates. At least while I’m in school.”

“Because it’s not who you are,” Baekhyun told him.

“I don’t know who I am,” Jongdae told him honestly, getting into bed and sitting up to look at him as he pulled his sheets over him. “I’m a bartender that hooked up with his married manager. That’s it. That’s my current resume. A nurse would be a step up at this point.”

Baekhyun sat on the edge of his bed and faced him.

“I know this thing with Minseok didn’t end the way you hoped. And I know that you invested a lot of time in him. And I know that hurts to not have him anymore. And I don’t know what aspect of this made you suddenly want to give up your dreams and be a nurse, but I promise you, being a singer is what you’re meant to do. You have your whole life to go to nursing school. Just set up some studio time with Chanyeol, start writing in your journals again, write about all this if you have to, and try again. If in a couple of years you’re still a bartender dating another married manager, then you have my permission to go to nursing school.”

“I didn’t know I needed your permission to make decisions about my life.”

“I’m your best friend and you know I have abandonment issues. You don’t get to do anything that means you’re leaving me without me giving you permission.”

“Good to know.”

Baekhyun reached over and gave Jongdae a big squeeze of a hug, and Jongdae let out a big sigh, needing that support more than he had realized.

After Baekhyun left his room, Jongdae realized that he did have a lot of words that he wouldn’t mind putting down on paper. He got up to grab his songwriting journal, which he hadn’t opened in way too long, and he sat back on his bed and started finally letting his feelings out, this time with words and the occasional teardrop on the page.


	58. Iced Vietnamese Coffee

Chanyeol didn’t want to go to Seulgi’s party, but she bothered him his whole shift about it.

“I’m kinda over the whole party thing at the moment,” Chanyeol tried to explain as he mixed drinks for her table.

“But it’s my party, and you have to make sure Jongdae comes. It doesn’t sound like he wants to come either. Please?”

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow and put one drink on her tray, then started the next one.

“Why do I have to make sure Jongdae comes?”

Seulgi bit her lip, and Chanyeol looked surprised.

“Seulgi Kang, are you crushing on my best friend?”

“He’s so cute. Okay. There I said it. I mean I always thought he was cute, but he was kinda taken, and I didn’t think he was into girls, so I didn’t think I had a chance, but then when Baekhyun told me he was bi, I started keeping an eye out for him to be single again, and now he is.”

“For the record, he was always single.”

“You know what I mean. Just make sure he comes tonight, okay?”

He conceded. It wasn’t like he really had anything better to do anyway. He would probably just spend the rest of the night in his studio sulking about how lonely he felt and how he should maybe get a dog.

That night, he texted Jongdae as he debated what to wear to this party.

_I’m supposed to make sure you go to this thing tonight. Want to roll in together? Unless you’re going with Baek._

_Baek’s on a date with Yixing tonight, but he’s forcing me to go to this party. Come pick me up and drag me there, otherwise I’m not going._

_Will do. Give me like 45._

They got to the party around the same time as everyone else, grabbing beers and finding two unoccupied bean bags since the couches were taken.

“I say we give this an hour then head out,” Jongdae told him.

“Sounds like a plan,” Chanyeol agreed, and then he saw Kyungsoo walk in with Jongin, “I might need about three beers to get through that hour though.”

“Same,” Jongdae said.

“If the trivia guy walks in, I’m leaving now.”

“An even better plan,” Jongdae agreed, “Now I hope he shows up.”

“You guys made it!” Seulgi said, spotting them and walking over.

“Yes, we’re here. Can we leave now?” Chanyeol asked.

“No, why are you being like this?” Seulgi said, kicking at Chanyeol’s foot, “Just have fun.”

“I’m on my first beer. I’m sure by the second the fun will kick in.”

“That’s usually how it works,” Seulgi nodded, and then she looked at Jongdae and smiled, “I’m glad you could make it.”

“He dragged me here,” Jongdae said with a nod toward Chanyeol.

“Have you ever been to my place before? Did you come to my last party?”

“Uh, no I don’t think so,” Jongdae said, looking as if he was trying to recall.

“Oh, let me give you a tour of my place then.”

“Uh, okay,” Jongdae said, glancing at Chanyeol, “You coming?”

“No, I’ve gotten the tour before,” Chanyeol waved off. “Have fun.”

Seulgi gave Chanyeol an appreciative smile as she grabbed Jongdae’s hand and led him away. Chanyeol hoped that Jongdae just let himself relax and have fun with it, thinking that maybe Seulgi could help Jongdae move on from this Minseok thing.

Chanyeol got up to get another beer and then sat back in the bean bag, taking a sip before his eyes landed on Kyungsoo, who had found a corner of the couch next to Heechul and was laughing while watching Jongin do ridiculous moves for Sehun’s enjoyment.

Okay, this wasn’t fair. And he suddenly wished he was in his studio being emo instead of there being emo about being the only one who couldn’t figure out how to really move on. But then again, he had always had this problem. After all, not really moving on from Baekhyun had been how he had landed in this lonely mess anyway.

Kyungsoo caught him staring at him, and Chanyeol looked down at his beer, then drank from it to give him something to do that didn’t involve looking back at him.

But it was hard to not look in that direction, and when he did, it was to see Kyungsoo coming over to him and sit in the bean bag that Jongdae had vacated.

Chanyeol took another sip of his beer.

So did Kyungsoo.

Then Chanyeol looked back at Jongin to see that Sehun was clapping in happiness at some ballet move Jongin was showing off.

“You think Sehun will ever figure it out?” Chanyeol decided to ask Kyungsoo to break the ice.

“Not sure, but if he does, hopefully it’s not when it’s too late.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agreed. “That would suck.”

They fell silent again and continued to drink their beers.

“How’s Jongdae doing?” Kyungsoo then asked him.

“He’s holding up,” Chanyeol said with a small smile. “He’s currently in Seulgi’s room being seduced by her, so his night might go well.”

“Oh, is that why she wanted him to come to this party so badly? Jongin said he had to make sure he came.”

“That is either some serious desperation or hustle.”

“She knows what she wants,” Kyungsoo shrugged.

“I guess,” Chanyeol said. “So when do you start working on your mixtape?”

“I meet with the producer tomorrow.”

“Nice,” Chanyeol said. “If you feel like telling me, I’d like to know how it goes.”

“I have a feeling you’re the first person I’m going to want to talk about it with,” Kyungsoo admitted, and Chanyeol stared at him, trying to read what else could be in his eyes.

Chanyeol had told Kyungsoo that he missed him, and Kyungsoo had said that he missed him back. That had really happened. And those feelings still seemed strong in them both.

“Does that mean I will be the first person you talk about it with?” Chanyeol went ahead and asked.

“I don’t know. We’ll see,” Kyungsoo said as he finished his beer.

This was so frustrating. Chanyeol knew there needed to be a break between them, but lately he’d been forgetting why he had thought that. He just wanted him back. Every time he saw him at work it felt wrong to not joke with him and flirt with him and make him light up. Being apart from him felt wrong, which is different than he had felt when he and Baekhyun had broken up. With Baekhyun, being apart just made him feel guilty, but with Kyungsoo, it just didn’t feel right.

But they had convinced themselves that this is what they needed, and Chanyeol turned his attention back to the saga of Jongin and Sehun, only to find they weren’t in the middle of the living room dancing anymore. Now it was Heechul who was doing some weird hip movements that everyone was shouting at him to stop doing.

Chanyeol scanned the room and found that Jongin and Sehun had actually moved out to the balcony, and then Chanyeol saw as Jongin leaned in and kissed Sehun, which made Chanyeol let out a gasp as he covered his mouth.

“What?” Kyungsoo asked, turning his head in the direction Chanyeol was looking and then saying, “Oh… shit.”

When Jongin pulled away, Sehun was staring at him stunned. And then after a few moments of Sehun’s inaction, Jongin came back inside sitting in front of Kyungsoo’s bean bag, taking the beer out of his best friend’s hand only to be disappointed that it was empty.

“Here, take mine,” Chanyeol offered, handing it to the dejected man.

“Wait, why did you leave?” Sehun asked, coming over and sitting beside him. “Why didn’t you tell me you liked me?”

“Why do you think I’ve been bringing you Boba?” Jongin asked him.

“Because you had two hands?” Sehun guessed, and Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both busted out laughing, then apologized.

“What difference would it make anyway? You’re obsessed with Junmyeon. It’s not like I had a chance,” Jongin said, drinking what was left of Chanyeol’s beer.

“No,” Sehun shook his head. “You have to tell me these things. I wasn’t going to figure it out with Boba.”

“I thought maybe you would have gotten the hint when I told you I was applying to your school so I could be on your school’s dance crew with you.”

“I thought it was because you missed dancing.”

“It was to spend more time with you.”

“You told me it was because you missed dancing.”

Jongin sighed and handed the empty beer can to Chanyeol as if he was supposed to do something with it. Chanyeol took it anyway.

“Wait,” Kyungsoo said, “You’re going back to school?”

“Oh, yeah, I applied. I haven’t been accepted yet.”

“Wait,” Chanyeol said to Sehun, “Aren’t you graduating?”

“I’ve been accepted into the Master’s program. I start in the fall.”

“How can someone so smart be so dumb?” Jongin asked Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

“I’ve often asked myself this about Sehun,” Chanyeol told him, “But what I’ve learned is that Sehun is Sehun. And if you’re going to like him, you have to like him for who he is, otherwise, he’s not for you.”

“You need to just tell me things,” Sehun told him, looking upset now about this situation.

“Jongin,” Chanyeol said, “Remember how Junmyeon always has to tell Sehun exactly what to do at work? And remember how Sehun always does exactly what he tells him, like without deviation?”

“I thought that was just a work thing,” Jongin admitted.

“How can someone so smart be so dumb?” Kyungsoo said, teasing Jongin with a tug on his ear.

“Well anyway it doesn’t matter,” Jongin said, slapping Kyungsoo’s hand away. “He likes Junmyeon.”

“No wait,” Sehun said, tapping Jongin’s knee so he’d look at him. “How long have you liked me?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere along the way. It just happened. You’re not even my type really. I don’t know why I started liking you.”

“Probably because we have a lot of fun together,” Sehun reasoned.

“Yeah, I like hanging out with you.”

“I like hanging out with you too,” Sehun said. “We should keep doing that.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jongin shrugged.

“And we should do more stuff together.”

“Like what?” Jongin asked.

Sehun grabbed Jongin’s hand and got up, pulling Jongin up as well and leading him back out to the balcony.

“Ah, young love,” Chanyeol said, glancing over his shoulder to see that Sehun went right in for the kiss. He chuckled and then let them have their privacy, looking at Kyungsoo instead.

“Jongin’s going to have his hands full with that one,” Kyungsoo said, not looking as convinced by it all.

“He just has to learn how to Sehun. Once he does, he’ll be good to go. And they are cute together. For all his bravado, Jongin seems to have a little naiveté to him too.”

“No, he does,” Kyungsoo agreed. “It’s part of why I’ve never been able to shake seeing him as a little brother.”

“Welp, I think my work here is done,” Chanyeol said, looking at the time on his phone. “I got everyone in good situations to get laid so I’m going to head home and pass out like the old man that I am.”

“Yeah, you’re so old,” Kyungsoo teased him. “I should probably head home too. Two beers is enough for me tonight.”

“Did you Uber? I drove, so I can take you home.”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo said.

And Chanyeol smiled, thankful that at least he’d let him do that for him.

They got up and made their rounds of saying goodbye, then left and got into Chanyeol’s car, Chanyeol putting on the radio and Kyungsoo singing along, better than the people who were paid to sing the song in the first place.

“God, I miss your voice so much,” Chanyeol said, once he pulled up to Kyungsoo’s apartment building and put his car in park.

“You have the recordings,” Kyungsoo reminded him.

“I listen to them every night to go to sleep,” Chanyeol confessed, and bit his lip, thinking maybe he shouldn’t have shared that.

“I look at your pictures in bed every night before passing out,” Kyungsoo confessed back, and Chanyeol’s heart did a little leap thing that he was sure he had never felt before.

“You didn’t delete them?” Chanyeol asked.

“No, I thought I should, but then I didn’t. I couldn’t. Did you delete the pictures you have of me?”

“No,” Chanyeol told him. “Your demo and your pictures make for good company these days.”

“We sound really pathetic,” Kyungsoo observed.

“We really do,” Chanyeol said with a chuckle, and Kyungsoo chuckled with him.

And then Chanyeol looked at Kyungsoo for a moment, as Kyungsoo looked at him, and he asked, “How’s the whole figuring things out thing going?”

“It’s been interesting,” Kyungsoo told him, nodding as if needing to confirm that. “How about your figuring things out?”

“Hard,” Chanyeol admitted. “In my last therapy session, I learned all about codependency and savior complex. Woot.”

Chanyeol put his fist up a little to signify his small victory of being a complete mess, but he had suspected as much before the therapist had even brought up exactly what his issues were.

“Wow, that sounds exciting,” Kyungsoo said.

“Very,” Chanyeol said, rubbing his hand over the gear shifter between them.

“I’m glad you’re seeing someone,” Kyungsoo said, looking genuine.

“I am too. It’s nice to vent to someone who’s there to help you and not judge.”

Kyungsoo nodded and placed his hand over his, and they looked at each other for a small moment before Kyungsoo took his hand away. Chanyeol instantly missed the warmth of his touch.

“I should go. Thanks for the ride.”

“No worries,” Chanyeol said. “I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

“See you,” Kyungsoo said.

Chanyeol wanted to find a reason for him to stay in the car longer, but he let him go and watched him all the way until he was inside the building and out of his view.

He went home and settled in for another lonely night, but not feeling as down as he had been. Something about the night had felt hopeful to him. Maybe it was the simple act of seeing how things moved on even after going through things that seemed disheartening, like Jongdae ending things with Minseok, or Jongin taking a chance and kissing Sehun to get a stunned reaction instead of a kiss back.

And Kyungsoo had put his hand on Chanyeol’s, which had happened after he had let him take him home. This seemed hopeful, and positive, and like some sort of progress was being made between them. He crawled into bed and turned his nightstand light off, then pulled up the songs on his phone, letting them play as he scrolled through the pics of Kyungsoo. He couldn’t believe Kyungsoo looked at his pics every night as well. It made Chanyeol’s stomach flutter. And then a text popped up.

_This is my favorite one of you._

Kyungsoo had sent him a text and a picture, one he had taken of Chanyeol in the studio, with his headphones on and looking a bit annoyed by something as he worked the controls.

_I look so annoyed._

_That’s what I like about it. It’s a shot of your perfectionism when it comes to your craft. I love it._

That made his stomach flutter again, and he quickly sent his favorite picture of Kyungsoo back to him.

_This one’s my favorite of you._

He waited for the response, feeling giddy about it for some reason.

_I look like an idiot. Delete that._

_You look so happy! I’m never deleting!_

_I’m so gummy! Why are all my gums showing! When did you even take that picture?!_

_I love when you’re gummy!_

_DELETE IT!_

_NO!_

_I hate you. Goodnight._

He started to write “I love you” and quickly backspaced, never deleting anything quicker in his life. He let out a deep breath and texted back.

_Goodnight gummy!_

He didn’t get a text back, but he knew deep down inside that he had made Kyungsoo smile, probably in the way where all his gums showed.

He had no issues sleeping that night, and when he woke up, he was ready for the day, counting down the time before his shift started later that afternoon.

As he made himself lunch, he called Jongdae to check in on him.

“So…” Chanyeol began.

“I just got home.”

“That’s my boy!” Chanyeol said. “You finally got laid for real.”

“Shut up,” Jongdae said. “It happened kinda fast.”

“Did you wrap it up? Shit, you didn’t come prepared for that.”

“I did. Turns out Seulgi had bought some just in case.”

“Holy shit. She was for real.”

“Too real,” Jongdae confirmed. “Which is why, when we woke up, I suggested we go to Norm’s and get some breakfast and just chill and talk about it.”

“Either you woke up late or it was a good talk since you just got home.”

“It was both. We woke up late, but had a really good talk. She seems to be genuinely interested in me. I warned her that I wasn’t really ready to start anything new, and she said she was okay with that since she wanted to get to know me better anyway. So we decided on friends with benefits.”

“I raised you so well,” Chanyeol said, sniffling to pretend that he was shedding proud tears.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Are you happy, Dae?”

“I’m… pretty alright actually. I did wake up with a smile on my face, and I still have one on my face, so…”

“Good. You deserve that.”

“What about you?”

“Same. That party last night was actually pretty good.”

“You’ll have to tell me what I missed while I was trapped in Seulgi’s room.”

Chanyeol let out an over-the-top laugh at that, but promised to catch him up at work that night.

He took a mini nap after his lunch and watched some TV before getting ready and heading into work with a positive stride. He clocked in and said hi to Junmyeon in a way that made the manager question if he was drunk, which was definitely a positive sign.

He got behind the bar to take over for Irene, who also commented on his mood.

“Did you and Kyungsoo get back together?” She asked suspiciously.

“No, I’m just in a good mood. Am I not allowed to be in a good mood, Irene?”

“I guess, but judging from everyone else’s good moods, I feel I should have been at that party last night.”

“You missed a good time.”

“I’ll go to the next one.”

Chanyeol wished her a good night and started filling drink orders, noticing Baekhyun coming to the bar to pick some drinks up that Irene had already made for him.

It was strange, seeing him now with the new perspective of what he had been working through in therapy, and he realized how unfair things had really gotten between them. In the end, nothing that had happened had really been either of their faults. Life had just thrown them a really bad curve that neither of them knew how to navigate, but now Baekhyun had someone new to try and navigate curves with, and Chanyeol had to physically force himself to not worry.

When he had brought up to his therapist how if he hadn’t been at Kibum’s party that night Baekhyun would literally have died, his therapist had nodded in understanding.

“But if he had died,” she had said, “You know it wouldn’t have been your fault, right?”

“It would have been my fault if I hadn’t done something about it.”

“You can’t follow him around to stop him from doing things,” she had explained. “It’s not your responsibility.”

“But…”

“But if he goes to another party?” She had finished for him. “And you’re not there? It’s not your problem. This is what you need to work on. You need to realize it’s not your problem. Why don’t you try saying it out loud right now?”

And strangely, he hadn’t been able to say it. He couldn’t admit that he felt that way because he didn’t, but now standing there, in his positive mood, he felt he could.

“It’s not my problem,” he said to himself, and he let out a deep breath and walked over to him.

“I think I’m missing a Stella,” Baekhyun said taking inventory.

“Got it,” Chanyeol nodded, pouring one out for him and placing the glass on the tray. “Hey, I don’t know if you heard, but the party last night was pretty good. It was weird that you weren’t there. Because you always are. You know?”

“Oh,” Baekhyun said with a soft smile. “Yeah, I heard it went well. Jongdae even got laid. Finally. But, yeah, Yixing had tickets for a musical last night so we went to that. It was really great actually.”

“A musical? Wow. That’s really up your alley.” Why hadn’t Chanyeol ever thought to take Baekhyun to a musical? That’s something Baekhyun would have really loved.

“Yeah, it was good inspiration. I don’t know if Jongdae told you, but I booked a pilot.”

Chanyeol looked surprised by this because, no, Jongdae hadn’t told him. “Holy shit. Baek, that’s great. Congrats.”

“Thanks. I already talked to Tao about picking up all my shifts while we’re shooting. It’s just a pilot, so I’ll only be gone for like a week. But fingers crossed it gets picked up.”

“It will. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said, and he gave him an appreciative smile before taking his tray and heading to his table.

“That looked incredibly civil,” Jongdae told him, having come in at some point while Chanyeol had been talking to Baekhyun.

“Why didn’t you tell me he booked a pilot?”

“I was dealing with a lot yesterday.”

“Right. Sorry. But hey, you got laid.”

“Shut up,” Jongdae said, looking slightly embarrassed as he shoved his arm. “Anyway, it’s nice to see you guys talking again.”

“For me to really deal with my issues, I can’t avoid him. I won’t know if I’m doing better unless I test myself.”

“I get that,” Jongdae said squeezing his shoulder. “Glad you’re doing better.”

Chanyeol smiled at him and went back to work, taking in the hopeful atmosphere around him. He caught sight of Sehun staring at Jongin with heart eyes as he walked to the bar, and Jongin and him sharing flirty looks on Jongin’s way back to the table. He caught Jongdae giving Seulgi that bright smile of his that she liked so much, and then watching as she walked away with drinks with a huge smile on her face. He also caught Baekhyun laughing with Yixing in between checking up on his other tables.

Nothing at Barry’s was the same as it was so many months ago, but yet it all seemed to be perfectly fine and as it should be. He wanted to explain to Junmyeon that this right here was why he hadn’t quit. Sure they were a big crazy family that maybe had too much drama at times, but at the end of it all, they were a family, and Chanyeol cared, maybe too much according to his therapist, about every single person there. Except the trivia guy.

Just as Chanyeol was dropping off a beer in front of one of his customers, he noticed Kyungsoo walking over to the bar, holding what looked like iced coffee in each hand. He looked to see if Jongdae maybe had asked him to bring him one, but Jongdae was busy taking orders at the other side of the bar, so he looked back at Kyungsoo who waved him over.

“Hey,” Chanyeol said with a smile.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo said, and then he pushed one of the coffees to him before taking a sip of his own.

“Um… what’s this?” Chanyeol asked, too surprised to really accept it right away.

“The food truck down the block was selling Iced Vietnamese Coffee.”

“Oh yum,” Chanyeol said, taking an immediate sip of the icy sweet goodness. “You didn’t have to get me this, but thank you.”

“Yes I did,” Kyungsoo stated.

“You did? Why?”

“I’m wooing you.”

Chanyeol blinked. Kyungsoo blinked. Chanyeol blinked again.

“You’re wooing me?”

Kyungsoo gave a curt nod and smiled, then reiterated, “I’m wooing you.”

“Yes,” Chanyeol said. “The answer is yes. The answer is that you’re great at wooing because I accept. I will be your boyfriend. You don’t even have to woo me anymore. I’ve been wooed.”

Kyungsoo laughed at him, top gums on full display and Chanyeol didn’t care that he was behind the bar. He leaned over and gave him a quick kiss right on the lips, then turned to the nearest customer to make sure they hadn’t seen.

“I’m so good at wooing,” Kyungsoo said before taking another sip to stop his sudden giggles.

“You’re so good at everything,” Chanyeol said, completely lost now in Kyungsoo’s world. He was easy. He knew it. He was okay with that.

“I decided, after thinking about my issues this morning, that I was ready to try this again. Do you really think you’re ready too?”

Chanyeol did have to pause and give it a little bit of thought, but yeah, he did think he was ready.

“I’m still working through a lot,” Chanyeol admitted, “But I think it says something that I’m aware and working through it.”

“I think it says a lot too,” Kyungsoo nodded. “So I’m thinking we should hang at your place tonight?”

“I love you,” Chanyeol said, and then his hand clasped over his mouth. What was wrong with him? He really needed to keep those things to himself. “I mean, I love this idea. Your idea. I said it wrong.”

Kyungsoo’s smile never wavered, and he nodded then said, “Either way. Same.”

“Wait, either way?”

Kyungsoo laughed again and headed back to the kitchen with his Vietnamese coffee in tow.

Kyungsoo Do was going to be the end of him, and he was perfectly fine with that. He had never had a Vietnamese coffee better than that one and doubted he ever would again. Unless Kyungsoo bought it for him again. It would probably be great anytime he did.

“Shit,” he then said to himself. He really had said he loved him. But Kyungsoo hadn’t been freaked out about it. And either way, same. Whatever that meant.

“Okay, I thought you were in a good mood before, but…” Jongdae said, looking at him warily.

“Kyungsoo and I are back together. This is the Vietnamese coffee of fate, and he brought it to me and wooed me back. I am a taken man, and I accidentally told him I love him, and tried to backtrack, and he laughed at me and he’s coming over tonight, oh my God.”

“Whoa,” Jongdae said, “I mean, great, but whoa.”

“I have my Kyungsoo back.”

Jongdae gave him a big hug, “I’m glad,” he said. “I knew it would work out.”

Deep down inside, Chanyeol knew it would too. Even after he had given up on it, there was something inside of him that felt like it had to work out because Kyungsoo felt right, and being with him felt right, and Chanyeol felt like himself when he was with him. That’s what Kyungsoo said love was anyway, and Chanyeol realized then that inadvertently, Kyungsoo had told him that he loved him first back on that day.

At that moment, Chanyeol had everything he could have ever wanted, and he was going to work hard to make sure that this time, he didn’t lose it. He was going to be a great boyfriend, and he was going to give Kyungsoo his space when he needed it because Kyungsoo needed his independence and Chanyeol needed to not be codependent. This time, he’d get it right, and he mentally found himself thankful, for the first time ever, for everything his previous relationship had put him through. He had learned. He had matured. And now, he was starting anew with the right person.

Jongdae laughed at him and shoved him playfully.

“Are you going to stand there daydreaming for the rest of the night or are you going to help me out here?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Chanyeol said, shaking his head, and putting his coffee down.

He returned to his customers, a big grin on his face, and feeling excited but calm all at once as he mentally praised Barry’s for existing, and for hiring him, and for doing a stupid open mic night so that Kyungsoo could walk through the doors and into his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading!
> 
> Music lyrics courtesy of these amazing songs:  
> Sugar by Maroon5  
> One Last Time by Ariana Grande  
> Tell Me What Is Love by Yoo Youngjin and D.O.
> 
> Once again, shout outs to my amazing friends who gave me great feedback along the way: @ksoosmanager, @exoismyproblem, and @hellogoodbritt. You guys are the realest. <3
> 
> I'm currently working on my first ever BaekSoo! I'm about halfway done, so fingers crossed that I can finish it before the end of the year. In the meantime, you can find me on twitter @baeksesoolove where I just retweet things for no reason. Ha.


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